OTVFC Supervets - Season 2020/21
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21.
06.06.21. Ashburnham Arms. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.
3-4. (Paul T (2), Chris. )
Team: Roy, Finchy, Paul G, Matt, Chris, Tonksy, Smudge, Andy, Doyley, Mark TB, Jack, Lee, Paul T. ( Tim-Ref.)
In a Sentence: Comedy Goals! But a fine Ash header for the winner.
In a Word: Calamity!
The last game of this extended, fragmented pandemic season may have lacked quality at times but there was comedy, drama, controversy and sustained suspense: would our late arrival Avery Hill Lee be able to deal with his significant hangover -or would he decorate the pitch?
After a good shout for a penalty was ignored by a well positioned ref the Tamps excelled in giving the Ash a three goal lead. Finchy’s no look pass across the area found the oppo centre forward who, rather outrageously didn’t play the one-two but ran in to slot easily past a bemused Roy. Getting into the spirit Roy failed to connect when seeking to clear the ball. Team mates looked away as again the Ash took advantage of our generosity : 0-2. Chris was the next to provide an assist, albeit inadvertently, as Finchy’s pass rebounded from Chris’ face to the Ash forward. This was why you get up and pull your boots on in early June.
Having rarely threatened- Mark TB and Jack had combined to hit the post early on- Paul T pulled one back getting behind the defence. Despite the young Lino’s raised flag he was clearly onside and the goal was duly given.
Chris- with a diving header – and Paul T again from close range levelled things up.Tamp skills were now in evidence: Roy’s saves and especially his shimmy to bamboozle the forward drew gasps; surprisingly Doyley was allowed to take a free kick and ( even more surprisingly) forced the keeper to tip over; Smudge, with a last OSCDT of the season, when passed the ball and two opponents, simply dropped a shoulder employed the double drag back and moved the ball on.
We had plenty of possession and worked the ball into the oppo area without ever testing the keeper even after the Ash had regained the lead through Dave’s thumping set pice header. Jack’s flick on almost fell for Andy but the bounce meant he couldn’t control the finish.
The game was up and the season was over.
06.06.21. Ashburnham Arms. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.
3-4. (Paul T (2), Chris. )
Team: Roy, Finchy, Paul G, Matt, Chris, Tonksy, Smudge, Andy, Doyley, Mark TB, Jack, Lee, Paul T. ( Tim-Ref.)
In a Sentence: Comedy Goals! But a fine Ash header for the winner.
In a Word: Calamity!
The last game of this extended, fragmented pandemic season may have lacked quality at times but there was comedy, drama, controversy and sustained suspense: would our late arrival Avery Hill Lee be able to deal with his significant hangover -or would he decorate the pitch?
After a good shout for a penalty was ignored by a well positioned ref the Tamps excelled in giving the Ash a three goal lead. Finchy’s no look pass across the area found the oppo centre forward who, rather outrageously didn’t play the one-two but ran in to slot easily past a bemused Roy. Getting into the spirit Roy failed to connect when seeking to clear the ball. Team mates looked away as again the Ash took advantage of our generosity : 0-2. Chris was the next to provide an assist, albeit inadvertently, as Finchy’s pass rebounded from Chris’ face to the Ash forward. This was why you get up and pull your boots on in early June.
Having rarely threatened- Mark TB and Jack had combined to hit the post early on- Paul T pulled one back getting behind the defence. Despite the young Lino’s raised flag he was clearly onside and the goal was duly given.
Chris- with a diving header – and Paul T again from close range levelled things up.Tamp skills were now in evidence: Roy’s saves and especially his shimmy to bamboozle the forward drew gasps; surprisingly Doyley was allowed to take a free kick and ( even more surprisingly) forced the keeper to tip over; Smudge, with a last OSCDT of the season, when passed the ball and two opponents, simply dropped a shoulder employed the double drag back and moved the ball on.
We had plenty of possession and worked the ball into the oppo area without ever testing the keeper even after the Ash had regained the lead through Dave’s thumping set pice header. Jack’s flick on almost fell for Andy but the bounce meant he couldn’t control the finish.
The game was up and the season was over.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21.
30.05.21. Farnborough. Away. The Lower Pitch.
1-4. ( Grant )
Team: Roy, Chris, Smudge, Lee, Dangerous Dave, Matt, Mark TB, The Squire, Tonksy, Stuart, Doyley, Grant, Graham, Tim.
In a Sentence: Injuries , tiring legs and Roy’s open legs led to late goals that turned a close contest into clear defeat.
In a Word: Tiring.
The Goal: Doyley put in good cross ( he was immensely proud and excited about this) that Graham couldn’t quite reach. The ball broke to Grant who, though quickly closed down worked the ball so he could curl a drive across the keeper and into the far side of the net. Nifty and stylish! ( He also did a good job sweeping the changing room.) Back level.
Moments and Quotes: Chris starting in goal as Roy was late due to getting lost en route kept a clean sheet showing good control to dribble past a challenge and initiate the forward play. Chris later drew gasps of admiration ( or possibly surprise ) with more outrageous skill under pressure with a back heel turn. A fine flying save from Roy and an outstanding block on the line from Dave ensured it was 0-0 at half time.
‘I didn’t know I could get my leg that high’. Smudge on his attempted interception that could have seriously damaged himself as well as a teammate. A brilliant reaction save from Roy but he can’t stop the poked in
loose ball.
‘ Bring Stuart on!’ Several of Stuart’s passes after he enters the fray only find an opponent.Both Smudge and Matt create promising opportunities for the oppo by ‘ playing too much football ‘ in or close to our box.
The ball must have been flat again: Graham’s corner goes straight out of play and his free kick wasn’t all it could have been!
Injuries to Matt, Smudge and finally Dave led to another Old Tamponian first with Tim coming on for the last 15 wearing a Welsh 2015 rugby World Cup training shirt. Having ‘done his back’ in training, a day on the booze leads to Tonksy’s miraculous recovery. Outside drinks and The Squire’s wag watch.
30.05.21. Farnborough. Away. The Lower Pitch.
1-4. ( Grant )
Team: Roy, Chris, Smudge, Lee, Dangerous Dave, Matt, Mark TB, The Squire, Tonksy, Stuart, Doyley, Grant, Graham, Tim.
In a Sentence: Injuries , tiring legs and Roy’s open legs led to late goals that turned a close contest into clear defeat.
In a Word: Tiring.
The Goal: Doyley put in good cross ( he was immensely proud and excited about this) that Graham couldn’t quite reach. The ball broke to Grant who, though quickly closed down worked the ball so he could curl a drive across the keeper and into the far side of the net. Nifty and stylish! ( He also did a good job sweeping the changing room.) Back level.
Moments and Quotes: Chris starting in goal as Roy was late due to getting lost en route kept a clean sheet showing good control to dribble past a challenge and initiate the forward play. Chris later drew gasps of admiration ( or possibly surprise ) with more outrageous skill under pressure with a back heel turn. A fine flying save from Roy and an outstanding block on the line from Dave ensured it was 0-0 at half time.
‘I didn’t know I could get my leg that high’. Smudge on his attempted interception that could have seriously damaged himself as well as a teammate. A brilliant reaction save from Roy but he can’t stop the poked in
loose ball.
‘ Bring Stuart on!’ Several of Stuart’s passes after he enters the fray only find an opponent.Both Smudge and Matt create promising opportunities for the oppo by ‘ playing too much football ‘ in or close to our box.
The ball must have been flat again: Graham’s corner goes straight out of play and his free kick wasn’t all it could have been!
Injuries to Matt, Smudge and finally Dave led to another Old Tamponian first with Tim coming on for the last 15 wearing a Welsh 2015 rugby World Cup training shirt. Having ‘done his back’ in training, a day on the booze leads to Tonksy’s miraculous recovery. Outside drinks and The Squire’s wag watch.
Old Tamponians Match Reports. 2020-21.
Charlton Rangers. 23.05.21. Away. Perry Street.
1 - 0 ( Tonksy )
Team: Mick, Chris, Lee, Finchy, Matt, Mark the Bike, Tonksy, The Squire, Doyley, Grant, Graham, Joss. ( Unused: Smudge, Tim, Paul G.)
In a Sentence: An excellent contest and a third deserved win in a row.
In a Word: Confident.
The Goal: Unusually we played good football, supported by strong organised defence, from the start. Good interplay on both sides of the pitch worked the ball into good positions in and close to the box but the shots ( we’re looking at you Graham!!) were wayward and the final ball was too often lacking. Then the ball was played down the right cut back to the edge of the box for the Technician to arrive and power an unerring drive that gave the keeper no chance. That’s how Tonksy saw it- the rest of us saw a wicked deflection that left the goalie going the wrong way.
Moments and Quotes: The Thursday game at VCD had seen more than a couple of players crash to the ground for no apparent reason. Matt had managed to stay upright throughout that game but early on he measured his length on the grass with a spectacular sprawl as he attempted to turn.
‘ Is that ball flat too?’ A mischievous comment as Graham again shoots ineffectually.
Possibly an Old Tamponian first: substitution by phone call. Tim, Linesman, on the far side of the pitch calls Steve R to get Mark the Bike ready for his return to the fray.
Two clear penalties ignored by the Ref: Graham pulled back and Grant could have had his leg broken.
An excellent team performance with particularly strong defence- fine Tamps debut from Lee- with Mick not having a lot to do to secure his clean sheet beyond organising those in front of him which he did with authority and good humour.
Charlton Rangers. 23.05.21. Away. Perry Street.
1 - 0 ( Tonksy )
Team: Mick, Chris, Lee, Finchy, Matt, Mark the Bike, Tonksy, The Squire, Doyley, Grant, Graham, Joss. ( Unused: Smudge, Tim, Paul G.)
In a Sentence: An excellent contest and a third deserved win in a row.
In a Word: Confident.
The Goal: Unusually we played good football, supported by strong organised defence, from the start. Good interplay on both sides of the pitch worked the ball into good positions in and close to the box but the shots ( we’re looking at you Graham!!) were wayward and the final ball was too often lacking. Then the ball was played down the right cut back to the edge of the box for the Technician to arrive and power an unerring drive that gave the keeper no chance. That’s how Tonksy saw it- the rest of us saw a wicked deflection that left the goalie going the wrong way.
Moments and Quotes: The Thursday game at VCD had seen more than a couple of players crash to the ground for no apparent reason. Matt had managed to stay upright throughout that game but early on he measured his length on the grass with a spectacular sprawl as he attempted to turn.
‘ Is that ball flat too?’ A mischievous comment as Graham again shoots ineffectually.
Possibly an Old Tamponian first: substitution by phone call. Tim, Linesman, on the far side of the pitch calls Steve R to get Mark the Bike ready for his return to the fray.
Two clear penalties ignored by the Ref: Graham pulled back and Grant could have had his leg broken.
An excellent team performance with particularly strong defence- fine Tamps debut from Lee- with Mick not having a lot to do to secure his clean sheet beyond organising those in front of him which he did with authority and good humour.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21
Erith. 16.05.21. Away. Perry Street.
2-1. ( Baby, Alex.)
Team: Mick, Chris, Paul G, Baby, Matt, Tonksy, The Squire, Smudge, Doyley, Podge, Grant, Alex, Tim.
In a Sentence: An excellent team performance- everybody put in a shift.
In a Word: Satisfying.
The Goals: Baby draws us level: a free kick just over the halfway line, the cocky but good Erith keeper heads to his far post; Baby clocks this, calls his intention to those on the sideline ( including the legion of Erith subs) and smashes the ball into the top corner near post. Baby had the biggest of grins- the keeper not so much, furiouslykicking the post.
Alex notches the winner. The ball was worked to the left and fed to Alex who beat the defender drew the keeper and passed the ball into the far corner.
Moments and Quotes: ‘He kicks who he likes! Mick the Squire- he kicks who he likes!’ The chant from the touch line early on as The Squire puts himself about in characteristic fashion.
The ref takes exception to Matt’s throw in technique- perhaps as punishment for Matt’s brutal takeout of an opponent.
Paul G’s walk of shame to apologise to the keeper after Baby’s equaliser- held up the restart.
‘Grant wouldn’t miss that header playing against us’. Having been one-nil down we dominated the game defending strongly and creating a series of chances- including Tonksy’s chip and Doyley’s diving header.
Smudger enjoys an armchair ride controlling the game from the middle of the park.
The first of 3 games in 8 days – ahead of the midweek showpiece at VCD against Crofton and our return to Perry Street to play Charlton Rangers. An excellent win exposing the weakness in Erith’s long ball game. They can play better football than that!
here to edit.
Erith. 16.05.21. Away. Perry Street.
2-1. ( Baby, Alex.)
Team: Mick, Chris, Paul G, Baby, Matt, Tonksy, The Squire, Smudge, Doyley, Podge, Grant, Alex, Tim.
In a Sentence: An excellent team performance- everybody put in a shift.
In a Word: Satisfying.
The Goals: Baby draws us level: a free kick just over the halfway line, the cocky but good Erith keeper heads to his far post; Baby clocks this, calls his intention to those on the sideline ( including the legion of Erith subs) and smashes the ball into the top corner near post. Baby had the biggest of grins- the keeper not so much, furiouslykicking the post.
Alex notches the winner. The ball was worked to the left and fed to Alex who beat the defender drew the keeper and passed the ball into the far corner.
Moments and Quotes: ‘He kicks who he likes! Mick the Squire- he kicks who he likes!’ The chant from the touch line early on as The Squire puts himself about in characteristic fashion.
The ref takes exception to Matt’s throw in technique- perhaps as punishment for Matt’s brutal takeout of an opponent.
Paul G’s walk of shame to apologise to the keeper after Baby’s equaliser- held up the restart.
‘Grant wouldn’t miss that header playing against us’. Having been one-nil down we dominated the game defending strongly and creating a series of chances- including Tonksy’s chip and Doyley’s diving header.
Smudger enjoys an armchair ride controlling the game from the middle of the park.
The first of 3 games in 8 days – ahead of the midweek showpiece at VCD against Crofton and our return to Perry Street to play Charlton Rangers. An excellent win exposing the weakness in Erith’s long ball game. They can play better football than that!
here to edit.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21.
Erith. 11.05.21. Queen Mary’s Sports Ground, Perry Street.
L 0-3.
Team: Mark, Chris, Finchy, Matt, Taj, Jon, The Squire, Tonksy, Steve R, Doyley, Graham, Scholesy, Pat, Tim
Despite a squad of 17 players the oppo felt it essential to play a 20 something in goal- this perhaps best summed up by that keeper’s end of game assertion:”There wouldn’t have been a game without me”. Hmmm. Disappointing.
The Game: Despite Roy being detained at home by club funded extension work and Smudge needing to take the missus to hospital we seemed to have a big enough squad but injuries disrupted our game. First to go was Mark, having made one excellent reflex save, laid low by a patella strain with the game goalless.(Does it count as another clean sheet?) Chris ( Clubman of the Year?) donned the gloves and Taj was moved back. Whether that had an impact on his calf or not wasn’t clear but he was the next to go. Finally, early in the second half, Scholesy fell to the floor, slipping due to dodgy footwear, requiring Tim to creak onto the pitch.
Chris could do nothing to stop Mick’s half-volley rocket from the edge of the box for the opener but he made a couple of good saves including a sliding tackle. As the forward, acknowledging this excellence, shook Chris’ hand we gave the ball away and with the goal gaping the recipient pushed his tap in wide. We played our part in an even game with Graham forcing a top drawer save from the Erith youngster. We also had a very strong claim for a penalty when Doyley was brought down, the idiosyncratic Ref waving play on.
Pat came on for his debut and linked well with Graham although a promising one two creating an excellent opening ended with an awkward air shot perhaps showing both Pat’s promise and the fact he hadn’t played for 9 years.
Under increasing pressure as we pushed for the equaliser there was some strong defensive work. Matt got across quickly to stop one attack and Finchy won the ball back well with a series of tackles and interventions. Even Tim found himself in the right place to take the ball away from the forward as he was poised to strike, calmly playing the ball out of danger. Bobby Moore they cried- or was it Bobby Ball?
Best of all was the goal saving block by the Squire who, face down on the ground following a tackle raised a leg to send the goal bound shot wide.
Eventually Erith broke through again with a second goal coming from an unlucky deflection from Jon and the third cracked home after we were caught on the break . Given their selection perhaps Erith could have been less self congratulatory regarding their victory.
Erith. 11.05.21. Queen Mary’s Sports Ground, Perry Street.
L 0-3.
Team: Mark, Chris, Finchy, Matt, Taj, Jon, The Squire, Tonksy, Steve R, Doyley, Graham, Scholesy, Pat, Tim
Despite a squad of 17 players the oppo felt it essential to play a 20 something in goal- this perhaps best summed up by that keeper’s end of game assertion:”There wouldn’t have been a game without me”. Hmmm. Disappointing.
The Game: Despite Roy being detained at home by club funded extension work and Smudge needing to take the missus to hospital we seemed to have a big enough squad but injuries disrupted our game. First to go was Mark, having made one excellent reflex save, laid low by a patella strain with the game goalless.(Does it count as another clean sheet?) Chris ( Clubman of the Year?) donned the gloves and Taj was moved back. Whether that had an impact on his calf or not wasn’t clear but he was the next to go. Finally, early in the second half, Scholesy fell to the floor, slipping due to dodgy footwear, requiring Tim to creak onto the pitch.
Chris could do nothing to stop Mick’s half-volley rocket from the edge of the box for the opener but he made a couple of good saves including a sliding tackle. As the forward, acknowledging this excellence, shook Chris’ hand we gave the ball away and with the goal gaping the recipient pushed his tap in wide. We played our part in an even game with Graham forcing a top drawer save from the Erith youngster. We also had a very strong claim for a penalty when Doyley was brought down, the idiosyncratic Ref waving play on.
Pat came on for his debut and linked well with Graham although a promising one two creating an excellent opening ended with an awkward air shot perhaps showing both Pat’s promise and the fact he hadn’t played for 9 years.
Under increasing pressure as we pushed for the equaliser there was some strong defensive work. Matt got across quickly to stop one attack and Finchy won the ball back well with a series of tackles and interventions. Even Tim found himself in the right place to take the ball away from the forward as he was poised to strike, calmly playing the ball out of danger. Bobby Moore they cried- or was it Bobby Ball?
Best of all was the goal saving block by the Squire who, face down on the ground following a tackle raised a leg to send the goal bound shot wide.
Eventually Erith broke through again with a second goal coming from an unlucky deflection from Jon and the third cracked home after we were caught on the break . Given their selection perhaps Erith could have been less self congratulatory regarding their victory.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21.
09.05.21. Avery Hill ( again!!). Tennis Court Pitch.
L 2-5. ( Pete, Paul G.)
Team: Mick, Finchy, Paul G, Matt, Roy, The Squire, Chris, Tonksy, Doyley, Graham, Pete, Smudge, Lee. ( Tim- Ref.)
In a Sentence: Another score line that didn’t properly reflect the contest but Avery Hill were deserved winners, gaining revenge following consecutive defeats against us.
In a Word: Groan.
Goals: Pete used his pace to attack and get past the defence on the right before giving the keeper no chance- back to 2-1.
Paul G powers home a header from Pete’s free kick; game on at 3-2?
( Sadly no.)
Moments and Quotes: More handbags in this fixture. Matt cynically hacks down Lyndon as he threatens to break clear- the two square up but come to their senses and make up quickly. Meanwhile Grant gets involved and he and Lee go nose to nose. Roy, in no effort to bring calm to the proceedings comes onto the pitch from the touch line and postures aggressively. Gentlemen- please! ( Perhaps it was a good job that Baby was supporting his missus’ charity sky dive- well done Jen!)
Finchy almost scores with a volley from the halfway line, returning the keeper’s kick out. He also had a header cleared off the line and the follow up shot blocked. Ball not dropping for us – as opposed to Mick’s great point blank reaction save falling straight to the oppo forward for a tap in. Apart from this we conceded at least 3 avoidable goals giving a free header, miscontrolling the ball to set up the oppo and losing the ball in the area.
The negative impact of COVID vaccinations on key players Graham and the Squire hampered our play.
09.05.21. Avery Hill ( again!!). Tennis Court Pitch.
L 2-5. ( Pete, Paul G.)
Team: Mick, Finchy, Paul G, Matt, Roy, The Squire, Chris, Tonksy, Doyley, Graham, Pete, Smudge, Lee. ( Tim- Ref.)
In a Sentence: Another score line that didn’t properly reflect the contest but Avery Hill were deserved winners, gaining revenge following consecutive defeats against us.
In a Word: Groan.
Goals: Pete used his pace to attack and get past the defence on the right before giving the keeper no chance- back to 2-1.
Paul G powers home a header from Pete’s free kick; game on at 3-2?
( Sadly no.)
Moments and Quotes: More handbags in this fixture. Matt cynically hacks down Lyndon as he threatens to break clear- the two square up but come to their senses and make up quickly. Meanwhile Grant gets involved and he and Lee go nose to nose. Roy, in no effort to bring calm to the proceedings comes onto the pitch from the touch line and postures aggressively. Gentlemen- please! ( Perhaps it was a good job that Baby was supporting his missus’ charity sky dive- well done Jen!)
Finchy almost scores with a volley from the halfway line, returning the keeper’s kick out. He also had a header cleared off the line and the follow up shot blocked. Ball not dropping for us – as opposed to Mick’s great point blank reaction save falling straight to the oppo forward for a tap in. Apart from this we conceded at least 3 avoidable goals giving a free header, miscontrolling the ball to set up the oppo and losing the ball in the area.
The negative impact of COVID vaccinations on key players Graham and the Squire hampered our play.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21.
02.05.21. Canning Town. Home: Tennis Court Pitch
L 1-7. ( Podge )
Team: Roy, Finchy, Paul G, Matt, Chris, Jon, The Squire, Tonksy, Baby, Podge, Graham, Doyley, Smudge,Taj. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Strong opposition, an outstanding centre forward, injuries, mistakes-individual and collective- and ineffectiveness in and around the box combined to produce a score that didn’t reflect the contest.
In a Word: Grimace.
Goal: A long time coming – but a good one. Receiving the ball moving into the box Podge changed his mind and instead of power clipped the ball over the keeper.
Moments and Quotes: Graham makes his bid for miss of the season scuffing the rebound after Chris’ penalty had been well saved.
‘C***!’ Podge’s assessment of his younger brother’s work as Baby’s corner goes straight out of play.
Comedy gold: Canning Town Shaun ( or perhaps Sean) shoots from kick off , Roy slips and with a wide eyed wobble manages to keep the ball out.
Also comic a couple of bids for ‘The Man Who Fell To Earth’ award- Podge could blame his on his new boots.
Injuries: a variety but most notably Taj’s calf lets him down again and Jon comes back on but couldn’t continue. Get back soon chaps.
Positives?!? It wasn’t as cold as it has been for the post match drink and there was plenty of food.
02.05.21. Canning Town. Home: Tennis Court Pitch
L 1-7. ( Podge )
Team: Roy, Finchy, Paul G, Matt, Chris, Jon, The Squire, Tonksy, Baby, Podge, Graham, Doyley, Smudge,Taj. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Strong opposition, an outstanding centre forward, injuries, mistakes-individual and collective- and ineffectiveness in and around the box combined to produce a score that didn’t reflect the contest.
In a Word: Grimace.
Goal: A long time coming – but a good one. Receiving the ball moving into the box Podge changed his mind and instead of power clipped the ball over the keeper.
Moments and Quotes: Graham makes his bid for miss of the season scuffing the rebound after Chris’ penalty had been well saved.
‘C***!’ Podge’s assessment of his younger brother’s work as Baby’s corner goes straight out of play.
Comedy gold: Canning Town Shaun ( or perhaps Sean) shoots from kick off , Roy slips and with a wide eyed wobble manages to keep the ball out.
Also comic a couple of bids for ‘The Man Who Fell To Earth’ award- Podge could blame his on his new boots.
Injuries: a variety but most notably Taj’s calf lets him down again and Jon comes back on but couldn’t continue. Get back soon chaps.
Positives?!? It wasn’t as cold as it has been for the post match drink and there was plenty of food.
Old Tamponians Match Reports. 2020-21.
25.04.2021. Avery Hill. ( Tennis Court Pitch.)
W 3-2. ( Graham 3 )
Team: Roy, Finchy, Paul G, Matt, Tonksy, Jon, The Squire, Podge, Baby, Doyley, Graham, Smudge, Chris, Pat.
In A Sentence: Good attitude shown today lads to come back from 2-0 down. Much better second half performance. Paul G post match WhatsApp.
In a Word: Smile.
Goals: The opener- an individual Giggs ( in Cup Semi Final replay ) like effort, Graham slaloming past defenders having picked up the ball inside his own half, staying on his feet despite some desperate lunges, getting past the last outfield player, drawing the keeper and clipping it over him. Class!
His second made following play down the right Podge taking the ball to the byline and cutting it back for Graham to strike home.
The winner!! Tonksy nicked possession on the right with the ball being worked to Graham who scuffed a bobbler past the bamboozled custodian.
Moments and Quotes: ‘One more foul and you’ll have to sub him’. Ken, reffing, recognises that the Squire has been kicking people.
Late on comedy gold- a minute to go and a goal down Avery Hill new boy Rod tried to kick the ball at the prone Squire. He missed and the ball had to be collected from 70 yards back.
‘Tim, where are the goals going to come from?’ Scholesy asks when we’re two down. Pat pulls his hamstring attempting an ambitious long range strike, Baby comes back on and Podge goes up front.
A fine and crucial close range save from Roy.
‘C***!’ Podge’s assessment of his younger brother’s work as Baby’s corner goes straight out of play. (Better work with a free kick though which Paul headed against the post.)
‘Play the simple ball Matt!’ - fatherly advice from Del that goes unheeded as Matt gives the ball to the oppo.
‘I did kick him then ….and we got a free kick!’
Ken had to rise above unjustified criticism from both teams and deal with some handbags and some toys coming out of the pram. Thankless task being a ref!!!
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21.
Santos. Tennis Court Pitch. 18.04.21.
L 2-3. (Podge, Graham.)
Team: Roy, Chris, Finchy, Matt, Steve R, Jon, The Squire, Podge, Baby, Doyley, Graham, Smudge, Pat, Tonksy. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Deservedly beaten by a hard working and determined Santos side despite a lot of possession and creating enough decent opportunities to win the game.
In a Word: Underachieving.
Goals : A good one and the Goal of the Season! Good play down the right set the Squire up in space with time to measure the cross for Podge to rise and guide the header home. Getting us back in the game at 2-2 Graham’s was a solo effort: a Giggs like run leaving Santos players in his wake and riding a couple of dubious challenges he slalomed through having picked up the ball at halfway. Forced slightly wide by the last defender he maintained his balance to clip the ball past the advancing keeper. A wonderful individual goal.
The Game: Santos had a clear game plan – through balls to exploit pace up front, strong defence and consistent hard work to win the 50-50s and regain possession. We played some good football to go in 1-0 at half time but perhaps we were over confident-certainly we were wasteful spurning several good chances to put the ball away and increase the lead.
Roy in goal supported by effective defence had kept the Santos forwards out with some comfort until a decisive moment: Steve R misjudged both the level of danger and more significantly his challenge scything down his opponent with such completeness that the penalty could be given on sound alone.Following the well converted penalty Santos took the lead with a fine 35 yard strike that flew over Roy’s head, the 45 year old playmaker’s second. Graham pulled us level but the Santos skipper restored their lead volleying home after some questionable defending. Twice we hit the crossbar Pat with a header in the first half and Jon with a drive in the second. A second equaliser looked likely as the brothers Podge – often in tandem – pushed down the left – but it didn’t come. Summing up Old Tamp inconsistency Graham, going from the sublime to the ridiculous, completely missed Podge’s pull back, an air shot from the edge of the six yard box- or as he claimed 8 yards.
Not our best performance but the sun shone, the bar was open and Smudge and Tonksy got the birthday drinks in. Congratulations and thanks chaps!
Santos. Tennis Court Pitch. 18.04.21.
L 2-3. (Podge, Graham.)
Team: Roy, Chris, Finchy, Matt, Steve R, Jon, The Squire, Podge, Baby, Doyley, Graham, Smudge, Pat, Tonksy. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Deservedly beaten by a hard working and determined Santos side despite a lot of possession and creating enough decent opportunities to win the game.
In a Word: Underachieving.
Goals : A good one and the Goal of the Season! Good play down the right set the Squire up in space with time to measure the cross for Podge to rise and guide the header home. Getting us back in the game at 2-2 Graham’s was a solo effort: a Giggs like run leaving Santos players in his wake and riding a couple of dubious challenges he slalomed through having picked up the ball at halfway. Forced slightly wide by the last defender he maintained his balance to clip the ball past the advancing keeper. A wonderful individual goal.
The Game: Santos had a clear game plan – through balls to exploit pace up front, strong defence and consistent hard work to win the 50-50s and regain possession. We played some good football to go in 1-0 at half time but perhaps we were over confident-certainly we were wasteful spurning several good chances to put the ball away and increase the lead.
Roy in goal supported by effective defence had kept the Santos forwards out with some comfort until a decisive moment: Steve R misjudged both the level of danger and more significantly his challenge scything down his opponent with such completeness that the penalty could be given on sound alone.Following the well converted penalty Santos took the lead with a fine 35 yard strike that flew over Roy’s head, the 45 year old playmaker’s second. Graham pulled us level but the Santos skipper restored their lead volleying home after some questionable defending. Twice we hit the crossbar Pat with a header in the first half and Jon with a drive in the second. A second equaliser looked likely as the brothers Podge – often in tandem – pushed down the left – but it didn’t come. Summing up Old Tamp inconsistency Graham, going from the sublime to the ridiculous, completely missed Podge’s pull back, an air shot from the edge of the six yard box- or as he claimed 8 yards.
Not our best performance but the sun shone, the bar was open and Smudge and Tonksy got the birthday drinks in. Congratulations and thanks chaps!
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21.
The Season resumes again!
Inter Viagra 05.04.2021. Home: Tennis Court Pitch
W 2-1. (Baby, Graham.)
Team: Mark, Chris, Finchy, Matt, Baby, Taj, Jon, The Squire, Tonksy, Roy, Graham, Smudge, SteveR, Doyley, Scholesy. Tim- Ref.
In a Sentence: Great to be back with an enjoyable, competitive but often low quality game-for Smudge 5 months since his stents were fitted- and for the rest of us 4 months since our last match at Farnborough.
In a Word: Fortunate.
Goals: Hard to choose the better: the first good interplay between Graham and Baby with a fine forward run by the latter and an excellent final ball by the former. However, the scuffed finish only had the merit of bamboozling the keeper and at least one defender on the line. The second was a well taken tap in by Graham after Roy’s angled low drive was saved by the keeper but pushed out to the well positioned scorer.
Man of the Match: As we had to defend for long periods particularly in the second half we needed strong work at the back something provided by all involved but especially Baby, Matt and Finchy- the latter both recovering from first touches straight to the oppo. Baby got forward well too and as usual played some telling through balls. On another day he would have been an easy choice as MOM, however, today the outstanding performance was from the Squire. Covering every blade of grass, winning the ball back when we’d given it away and showing justifiable anger at our too regular ineptitude he hauled us to the fortunate victory. A fantastic run from his own half late on when he surged into space and was picked out by Baby almost led to a goal but his teammates weren’t in the right place to pick up his pass across the six yard box.
Moments and Quotes: Inter wasted several presentable chances in both halves shooting high, wide and without sufficient power on more than a few occasions. However, they were also thwarted by two excellent saves by Mark, getting a hand to the ball as their speedy forward seemed certain to score and subsequently getting another great touch to push the goal bound shot onto the post.
‘What have you given?’ The Squire thinking Tim had given a penalty when after much appealing the ball went out of play for a throw in. Simmering rage!!!
( Steve R had headed the ball onto his naturally raised arm.)
Scholesy went down in the box- through exhaustion rather than foul play.
Also reminding us what we’d been missing since December, Doyley’s first touch flicked the ball into touch.
A game of saves, blocks, miskicks, tackles and occasional skill and good team play- with the bar shut we enjoyed a circle of carry out toasting Tonksy and Jane’s marriage:Congratulations!
The Season resumes again!
Inter Viagra 05.04.2021. Home: Tennis Court Pitch
W 2-1. (Baby, Graham.)
Team: Mark, Chris, Finchy, Matt, Baby, Taj, Jon, The Squire, Tonksy, Roy, Graham, Smudge, SteveR, Doyley, Scholesy. Tim- Ref.
In a Sentence: Great to be back with an enjoyable, competitive but often low quality game-for Smudge 5 months since his stents were fitted- and for the rest of us 4 months since our last match at Farnborough.
In a Word: Fortunate.
Goals: Hard to choose the better: the first good interplay between Graham and Baby with a fine forward run by the latter and an excellent final ball by the former. However, the scuffed finish only had the merit of bamboozling the keeper and at least one defender on the line. The second was a well taken tap in by Graham after Roy’s angled low drive was saved by the keeper but pushed out to the well positioned scorer.
Man of the Match: As we had to defend for long periods particularly in the second half we needed strong work at the back something provided by all involved but especially Baby, Matt and Finchy- the latter both recovering from first touches straight to the oppo. Baby got forward well too and as usual played some telling through balls. On another day he would have been an easy choice as MOM, however, today the outstanding performance was from the Squire. Covering every blade of grass, winning the ball back when we’d given it away and showing justifiable anger at our too regular ineptitude he hauled us to the fortunate victory. A fantastic run from his own half late on when he surged into space and was picked out by Baby almost led to a goal but his teammates weren’t in the right place to pick up his pass across the six yard box.
Moments and Quotes: Inter wasted several presentable chances in both halves shooting high, wide and without sufficient power on more than a few occasions. However, they were also thwarted by two excellent saves by Mark, getting a hand to the ball as their speedy forward seemed certain to score and subsequently getting another great touch to push the goal bound shot onto the post.
‘What have you given?’ The Squire thinking Tim had given a penalty when after much appealing the ball went out of play for a throw in. Simmering rage!!!
( Steve R had headed the ball onto his naturally raised arm.)
Scholesy went down in the box- through exhaustion rather than foul play.
Also reminding us what we’d been missing since December, Doyley’s first touch flicked the ball into touch.
A game of saves, blocks, miskicks, tackles and occasional skill and good team play- with the bar shut we enjoyed a circle of carry out toasting Tonksy and Jane’s marriage:Congratulations!
06.09.20. Crofton Tennis Court Pitch
3 - 4 (Mike, Steve D (or Own Goal),Tonksy.)
Team: Mark TK, Chris, Paul G, Baby, Roy, Podge, Paul T, Taj, Mitch, Paul D, Mike, Tonksy, Steve R, Smudge, Steve D, Scholesy. ( Tim -Ref ,first half, Mark TK -Ref, second half.)
In a Sentence: A match that will live long in the memory.
In a Word: Rank.
2-0 up at half time with Jamie the Crofton keeper making several out standing saves things looked good on Mitch’s 67th birthday, the young man extending his Oldest Tampon record playing the first half as left wing back. However, Podge had gone off injured and Chris volunteered to go in goal, one of a number of changes as all players were given a run out.
Initially the flow of the match continued as in the first half: Tamps attacking, Jamie keeping us at bay. Still 2-0 when Roy came off and the game turned. Crofton were sharper and determined we were disjointed, staying deep in defence and perhaps complacent: cue an extraordinary last 20 minutes.
Two penalties for Crofton one right in the corner the other scuffed just off centre, a speculative header to keep the ball in play looping into the net. 3-2 to a battling and cock-a-hoop Crofton spurred on by their very vocal support Stuart to the fore. Tamps snatching defeat from the jaws of victory?
No – a fine equaliser: the ball worked out to Scholesy in space on the left and he was able to advance and play a fine ball into Paul Davies in the box. Paul calmly set up Tonksy with a delightful short pass and he calmly placed the ball beyond the excellent keeper’s reach.
Surely that was it? Time seemed to have run out but Crofton attacked on their left and their wide player crossed towards the far post. Hesitation between centre half and keeper and the ball was left to creep in- the last real kick of a topsy turvy match. 4-3 to a rightly jubilant Crofton their fight, determination, team work and commitment leading to a deserved victory that we’ll hear about for years to come.
Quotes and Moments.
I only played a half last week. Roy states his case for maximum game time with a squad of 17.
I’ll go in goal this half. Chris does his bit to try to give Tim a runout with Mark taking the whistle. It was not to be.
The other goals: Early on a fine far post volley from Mike flashing into the roof of the net from Paul D’s cross/speculative diagonal strike.
Good team play freeing Doyley in the box some hesitation, several ricochets and the ball is in the back of the net. The Ref was sure it was the defender’s last touch Doyley was certain it was his finish.
3 - 4 (Mike, Steve D (or Own Goal),Tonksy.)
Team: Mark TK, Chris, Paul G, Baby, Roy, Podge, Paul T, Taj, Mitch, Paul D, Mike, Tonksy, Steve R, Smudge, Steve D, Scholesy. ( Tim -Ref ,first half, Mark TK -Ref, second half.)
In a Sentence: A match that will live long in the memory.
In a Word: Rank.
2-0 up at half time with Jamie the Crofton keeper making several out standing saves things looked good on Mitch’s 67th birthday, the young man extending his Oldest Tampon record playing the first half as left wing back. However, Podge had gone off injured and Chris volunteered to go in goal, one of a number of changes as all players were given a run out.
Initially the flow of the match continued as in the first half: Tamps attacking, Jamie keeping us at bay. Still 2-0 when Roy came off and the game turned. Crofton were sharper and determined we were disjointed, staying deep in defence and perhaps complacent: cue an extraordinary last 20 minutes.
Two penalties for Crofton one right in the corner the other scuffed just off centre, a speculative header to keep the ball in play looping into the net. 3-2 to a battling and cock-a-hoop Crofton spurred on by their very vocal support Stuart to the fore. Tamps snatching defeat from the jaws of victory?
No – a fine equaliser: the ball worked out to Scholesy in space on the left and he was able to advance and play a fine ball into Paul Davies in the box. Paul calmly set up Tonksy with a delightful short pass and he calmly placed the ball beyond the excellent keeper’s reach.
Surely that was it? Time seemed to have run out but Crofton attacked on their left and their wide player crossed towards the far post. Hesitation between centre half and keeper and the ball was left to creep in- the last real kick of a topsy turvy match. 4-3 to a rightly jubilant Crofton their fight, determination, team work and commitment leading to a deserved victory that we’ll hear about for years to come.
Quotes and Moments.
I only played a half last week. Roy states his case for maximum game time with a squad of 17.
I’ll go in goal this half. Chris does his bit to try to give Tim a runout with Mark taking the whistle. It was not to be.
The other goals: Early on a fine far post volley from Mike flashing into the roof of the net from Paul D’s cross/speculative diagonal strike.
Good team play freeing Doyley in the box some hesitation, several ricochets and the ball is in the back of the net. The Ref was sure it was the defender’s last touch Doyley was certain it was his finish.
Lads of the Village. 13.09.20. Tennis Court Pitch.
4-1. (Graham 2, Chris (pen), Baby.)
Team: Mark TK, Steve R, Paul G, Finchy, Baby, Tonksy, Smudge, Podge, Steve D, Paul D, Graham, Chris, Tim.
Having arranged the fixture to fill the gap left by the demise of Charter Diamond we needed to engage in mid level diplomacy to try to ensure that the Lads were not too young. Going against his normal pattern of behaviour Mark TK took it upon himself to visit the Lads pub explaining that they should select their team thoughtfully as our average age is 67, we have a number of walking aids and adapted disability scooters to go with our match ball with the bell in it. Sadly when Mark and I arrived on the Sunday morning the Lads were not only youthful but already engaged in organised warm up activities. After last week’s unexpected defeat how would our reduced squad cope?
The answer was pretty well. The first half was a good contest with both sides playing good football and looking threatening with the Lads looking to set their big, interestingly named, centre forward free. We too used the long ball, usually through Baby, but we were better at playing it through the midfield – with Smudge, Podge and Tonksy prominent. Excellent chances were created for Podge and Paul G but were both narrowly missed. Late in the half our pressure played off and Graham- who was working well with Paul D up front- smashed in the opener – a fierce angled drive across the keeper. 1-0 at half time but again Podge - who’d been outstanding- didn’t make it to the break- Chris replacing him for the last minute or two.
The second half was comfortable. The defence continued to be in full control all excellent: Paul G and Finchy dominant, Baby central to attacking play from the left and Steve R and Chris locking up the right side. Our midfield still had to work hard but Steve D had plenty of time for his usual in depth conversation with an opponent.
Graham got a lovely second lobbing the advancing (very tall) keeper his excellent run being rewarded by Baby’s perfect long pass. Graham also earned our third- another fine dribble into the box being ended by needless group assault. Chris scored the resulting penalty- his second of the season. Baby hit the fourth coolly picking his spot after some playground Footie in the six yard box- well taken.
4-0 and time for Tim to get five minutes and for Lads to nick a late goal when the clean sheet Mark TK deserved ( excellent diving strong hand save in the second half- and no goals conceded in the previous game) looked more likely. Very well played all.
Quotes and Moments
But that’s my name ref! They’re saying Lego! Lego!
F**king he’ll Tim! What are you doing !?! Don’t change it now! (Paul G doesn’t want a sub- not realising Podge has limped off injured.)
He slows down our lightning quick attacks. ( Smudge is referring to Tonksy but perhaps sees our game in an usual way.)
We know that Roy! (Paul G doesn’t think much about Roy’s half time coaching point.)
Graham wins the toss- and changes ends: working on Mark’s fitness.
I had to have a drink! Smudge wasn’t impressed with Liverpool.
Drinks and bagels in the sun, with Serge chaperoned and the Rule of Six 12 hours away.
Excellent performance by all . Graham MOM.
4-1. (Graham 2, Chris (pen), Baby.)
Team: Mark TK, Steve R, Paul G, Finchy, Baby, Tonksy, Smudge, Podge, Steve D, Paul D, Graham, Chris, Tim.
Having arranged the fixture to fill the gap left by the demise of Charter Diamond we needed to engage in mid level diplomacy to try to ensure that the Lads were not too young. Going against his normal pattern of behaviour Mark TK took it upon himself to visit the Lads pub explaining that they should select their team thoughtfully as our average age is 67, we have a number of walking aids and adapted disability scooters to go with our match ball with the bell in it. Sadly when Mark and I arrived on the Sunday morning the Lads were not only youthful but already engaged in organised warm up activities. After last week’s unexpected defeat how would our reduced squad cope?
The answer was pretty well. The first half was a good contest with both sides playing good football and looking threatening with the Lads looking to set their big, interestingly named, centre forward free. We too used the long ball, usually through Baby, but we were better at playing it through the midfield – with Smudge, Podge and Tonksy prominent. Excellent chances were created for Podge and Paul G but were both narrowly missed. Late in the half our pressure played off and Graham- who was working well with Paul D up front- smashed in the opener – a fierce angled drive across the keeper. 1-0 at half time but again Podge - who’d been outstanding- didn’t make it to the break- Chris replacing him for the last minute or two.
The second half was comfortable. The defence continued to be in full control all excellent: Paul G and Finchy dominant, Baby central to attacking play from the left and Steve R and Chris locking up the right side. Our midfield still had to work hard but Steve D had plenty of time for his usual in depth conversation with an opponent.
Graham got a lovely second lobbing the advancing (very tall) keeper his excellent run being rewarded by Baby’s perfect long pass. Graham also earned our third- another fine dribble into the box being ended by needless group assault. Chris scored the resulting penalty- his second of the season. Baby hit the fourth coolly picking his spot after some playground Footie in the six yard box- well taken.
4-0 and time for Tim to get five minutes and for Lads to nick a late goal when the clean sheet Mark TK deserved ( excellent diving strong hand save in the second half- and no goals conceded in the previous game) looked more likely. Very well played all.
Quotes and Moments
But that’s my name ref! They’re saying Lego! Lego!
F**king he’ll Tim! What are you doing !?! Don’t change it now! (Paul G doesn’t want a sub- not realising Podge has limped off injured.)
He slows down our lightning quick attacks. ( Smudge is referring to Tonksy but perhaps sees our game in an usual way.)
We know that Roy! (Paul G doesn’t think much about Roy’s half time coaching point.)
Graham wins the toss- and changes ends: working on Mark’s fitness.
I had to have a drink! Smudge wasn’t impressed with Liverpool.
Drinks and bagels in the sun, with Serge chaperoned and the Rule of Six 12 hours away.
Excellent performance by all . Graham MOM.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2020-21.
20.09.20. Erith. Away.
2-3. ( Clarkie, Graham.)
Team: Mark, Chris, Finchy, Baby, Steve R, Roy, Smudge, Tonksy, Steve D, Clarkie, Graham, Taj. Tim ( linesman).
Subbed: Taj, Roy.
In a Sentence: A good contest but one in which we made mistakes, lost possession too often and missed chances.
In a Word: Frustrating.
Players’ Player: Perhaps no stand out performance this week although we were collectively much better in the second half. Mark made a couple of very good saves: first half coming out to block and after the break keeping us in it with a strong reaction save when Erith broke through. Finchy was probably the most consistent performer and pushed forward too in the second half. Doyley concentrated better than usual, helped the defence and played some good balls into the forwards. Smudger worked through the pain!
Goals- including Goal of the Game: Clarkie scores after our pressure led to some defensive mistakes and Doyley won the ball.
Chris saw the opportunity to slide rule a pass from just inside the opposition half behind the defenders and into the box and fixing the keeper to his line so that Graham could collect the ball, advance and place the ball into the net.
Top Tackle: Finchy steamed into a 50-50 giving the oppo no chance winning the ball and setting up Chris to play the defence splitting pass mentioned above.
Moments and Quotes: The ref was an absolute ****! He was a **** for both sides. He perhaps underused his linesmen!
Doyley’s first half shot- there to hit on his right foot he took it rather awkwardly on his left and sent it away from the goal. Also a fantastic overhead clearance when we were under pressure.
Who’s playing them on? Smudge asked hopefully.
Mike was missing! Stuck on the A12.
Great work by Graham putting himself one on one with the keeper – when it was still 0-0- but rather surprisingly puts it wide.
We won’t dwell on the two mistakes for their first half goals.
Roger makes a rather impressive return, having not played against us for a couple of years. The difference between the two sides?
Good understanding on the left between Steve R and Steve D and, in the second half on the right between Chris and Taj.
One enormous goal kick from Baby sending Graham free.
“I played the ball of the game, threaded it through “. Tonksy makes his pitch for man of the match.
Those who made it back to the Club enjoyed a whip that keeps on giving and a few beers in the sun.
20.09.20. Erith. Away.
2-3. ( Clarkie, Graham.)
Team: Mark, Chris, Finchy, Baby, Steve R, Roy, Smudge, Tonksy, Steve D, Clarkie, Graham, Taj. Tim ( linesman).
Subbed: Taj, Roy.
In a Sentence: A good contest but one in which we made mistakes, lost possession too often and missed chances.
In a Word: Frustrating.
Players’ Player: Perhaps no stand out performance this week although we were collectively much better in the second half. Mark made a couple of very good saves: first half coming out to block and after the break keeping us in it with a strong reaction save when Erith broke through. Finchy was probably the most consistent performer and pushed forward too in the second half. Doyley concentrated better than usual, helped the defence and played some good balls into the forwards. Smudger worked through the pain!
Goals- including Goal of the Game: Clarkie scores after our pressure led to some defensive mistakes and Doyley won the ball.
Chris saw the opportunity to slide rule a pass from just inside the opposition half behind the defenders and into the box and fixing the keeper to his line so that Graham could collect the ball, advance and place the ball into the net.
Top Tackle: Finchy steamed into a 50-50 giving the oppo no chance winning the ball and setting up Chris to play the defence splitting pass mentioned above.
Moments and Quotes: The ref was an absolute ****! He was a **** for both sides. He perhaps underused his linesmen!
Doyley’s first half shot- there to hit on his right foot he took it rather awkwardly on his left and sent it away from the goal. Also a fantastic overhead clearance when we were under pressure.
Who’s playing them on? Smudge asked hopefully.
Mike was missing! Stuck on the A12.
Great work by Graham putting himself one on one with the keeper – when it was still 0-0- but rather surprisingly puts it wide.
We won’t dwell on the two mistakes for their first half goals.
Roger makes a rather impressive return, having not played against us for a couple of years. The difference between the two sides?
Good understanding on the left between Steve R and Steve D and, in the second half on the right between Chris and Taj.
One enormous goal kick from Baby sending Graham free.
“I played the ball of the game, threaded it through “. Tonksy makes his pitch for man of the match.
Those who made it back to the Club enjoyed a whip that keeps on giving and a few beers in the sun.
Cudham. Cudham Recreation Ground. 27.09.20. 10 o’clock kick off!
2-**. ( Graham, Doyley.)
Team: The bare eleven: Mark, Tim, Finchy, Chris, Steve R, Tonksy, The Squire, Jon, Smudge, Doyley, Graham.
In a Sentence: A fine morning in the countryside- somewhat spoiled by an uneven game.
In a Word: Thrashed.
Goals: Doyley got the second, chasing the through ball and out-muscling the defender and rifling home. Had a big impact on Cudham Mark reffing as for the rest of the game whenever we were fouled he referred to letting Doyley get away with a push on his way to scoring.
Graham- goal of the game and of the season so far: good passing from front to back stemming from Tim’s nod back to Chris. Wonderful finish from Graham- a flighted drive into the top corner from 25 yards out; perfection.
Moments and Quotes: Doyley equalised to make it 2-2 and then a ludicrous handball ( worse than that given later in the day against Eric Dier) was given against Finchy. Mark diving strongly to his left made a great save. After that Cudham scored a few goals.
A couple of comedy moments : the Squire’s first (of two ) falls- tripped on one of the grass clipping mounds and completed a fine teddy bear roll. ‘I’m used to playing on a carpet’ he claimed. Mark and Chris collide – Mark surging out but taking out his centre back rather than the ball or the forward. Chris bounced back with, as last man, a beautiful gentlemanly foul chopping down their midfielder after he’d slalomed past several Tamps. Chris’ victim deemed it ‘ A good foul’ and fist bumped the perpetrator.
Tonksy had to be warned about flouncing when passes were misdirected and possession lost.
Jon posts a photo of his wounds – two sets of stud marks above the waist; whilst there was an outflowing of sympathy there were also envious looks at the clean lines, high spec kitchen where he’d been photographed.
4 of us ( Smudge, The Squire, Tim, and Phillip ‘Tonksy’ Schofield) enjoyed table service,Harvey’s Best and intellectual chat: Dylan Thomas and the lyrics of the Stranglers and their misogynistic nature.
It was a very big pitch and there were far too many grass cutting clumps!
2-**. ( Graham, Doyley.)
Team: The bare eleven: Mark, Tim, Finchy, Chris, Steve R, Tonksy, The Squire, Jon, Smudge, Doyley, Graham.
In a Sentence: A fine morning in the countryside- somewhat spoiled by an uneven game.
In a Word: Thrashed.
Goals: Doyley got the second, chasing the through ball and out-muscling the defender and rifling home. Had a big impact on Cudham Mark reffing as for the rest of the game whenever we were fouled he referred to letting Doyley get away with a push on his way to scoring.
Graham- goal of the game and of the season so far: good passing from front to back stemming from Tim’s nod back to Chris. Wonderful finish from Graham- a flighted drive into the top corner from 25 yards out; perfection.
Moments and Quotes: Doyley equalised to make it 2-2 and then a ludicrous handball ( worse than that given later in the day against Eric Dier) was given against Finchy. Mark diving strongly to his left made a great save. After that Cudham scored a few goals.
A couple of comedy moments : the Squire’s first (of two ) falls- tripped on one of the grass clipping mounds and completed a fine teddy bear roll. ‘I’m used to playing on a carpet’ he claimed. Mark and Chris collide – Mark surging out but taking out his centre back rather than the ball or the forward. Chris bounced back with, as last man, a beautiful gentlemanly foul chopping down their midfielder after he’d slalomed past several Tamps. Chris’ victim deemed it ‘ A good foul’ and fist bumped the perpetrator.
Tonksy had to be warned about flouncing when passes were misdirected and possession lost.
Jon posts a photo of his wounds – two sets of stud marks above the waist; whilst there was an outflowing of sympathy there were also envious looks at the clean lines, high spec kitchen where he’d been photographed.
4 of us ( Smudge, The Squire, Tim, and Phillip ‘Tonksy’ Schofield) enjoyed table service,Harvey’s Best and intellectual chat: Dylan Thomas and the lyrics of the Stranglers and their misogynistic nature.
It was a very big pitch and there were far too many grass cutting clumps!
Avery Hill. Tennis Court Pitch. 04/10/20
3-2. ( Steve R, The Squire, Tonksy.)
Team: Roy, Chris, Paul G, Baby, Taj, Jon, The Squire, Tonksy, Doyley, Graham, Mike, Smudge, Steve R. ( Scholesy: unused. ) Tim: Ref
Subbed: Steve R, Smudge,Taj, Tonksy, Chris, Doyley.
In a Sentence: The battle of Smudger’s knee.
In a Word: Competitive.
Mark’s Man: Plenty in the frame today in a great team performance; Jon gets the nod here.
Players’ Player: Out of 3 who all done well- Jon, The Squire and Tonksy. Just for his goal – and for the general hard work-( matched by the others)- Tonksy.
Goals and Goal of the Game: 1-0 – A quite magnificent header from Steve R at the far post- from Graham’s corner.
2-2- Good move down the right: Graham got to the by line and stumbled over; Taj picked up the loose ball and, after a good advantage played by the Ref, crossed for the Squire to score with a fairly magnificent header. ( Eyes wide shut of course.)
3-2. Cometh the hour……ball fell to our heavy drinking midfield maestro who summoned his inner Terry Hurlock and struck the ball from the edge of the area fiercely into the top corner for an averagely magnificent winner. Dropped his shoulder, gave it everything – top bins! Tonksy!!
Best Defending: Great work in goal by Roy – no chance with either goal after outfield errors. ( Paul G’s pass intercepted by Grant and Baby losing possession and not winning it back!)
The Squire’s brave block on the line – arm across his chest and eyes wide shut -again!
Chris – late on and as teammates panicked- coolly took control of the loose ball, carrying it out of defence ; neatly done.
Top Skills and Passing: Fine demonstrations of effective chest control from several players- Paul G, Baby. Graham joined in ending with a chest to arm and carry three step. Comedy gold! ‘He used to be a pro!’ observed the Squire. Good corners though.
Moments and Quotes: ‘ I got nutmegged by the f**king idiot.’
‘ The defence was very good’. Roy gives praise to his teammates.
‘ You were lucky your foot was in the air!’ The reckless hack on Smudge could have been even worse.
‘See I told you I’m not that bad’. Josh promotes his own diplomacy skills after their number 10 kicked off.
‘Mike! Look! Look!’ Taj not happy that a pass is not forthcoming when he was unmarked.
Jon – who had an excellent game often working in tandem with the Squire- let himself down by not posting a shot of his bathroom to follow on from the show kitchen photo.
‘Nobody gambled!’ Smudge berates those in attacking positions for not getting to a ball crossed to the far post.
‘You need to score this time Steve.’ Tim after Steve R had ignored the opportunity at a previous corner…and, lo, he did: Magnificent!
‘It was a good idea to play Graham up front’ Mad Dave again shows his tactical acumen. ‘ I think it was more playing five in midfield Dave’. ‘You played five in midfield?’
Doyley felt the red mist descend again- if only Scholesy had come on instead.
After the previous week’s thumping an excellent team performance bossing the midfield and closing down all over the pitch.
3-2. ( Steve R, The Squire, Tonksy.)
Team: Roy, Chris, Paul G, Baby, Taj, Jon, The Squire, Tonksy, Doyley, Graham, Mike, Smudge, Steve R. ( Scholesy: unused. ) Tim: Ref
Subbed: Steve R, Smudge,Taj, Tonksy, Chris, Doyley.
In a Sentence: The battle of Smudger’s knee.
In a Word: Competitive.
Mark’s Man: Plenty in the frame today in a great team performance; Jon gets the nod here.
Players’ Player: Out of 3 who all done well- Jon, The Squire and Tonksy. Just for his goal – and for the general hard work-( matched by the others)- Tonksy.
Goals and Goal of the Game: 1-0 – A quite magnificent header from Steve R at the far post- from Graham’s corner.
2-2- Good move down the right: Graham got to the by line and stumbled over; Taj picked up the loose ball and, after a good advantage played by the Ref, crossed for the Squire to score with a fairly magnificent header. ( Eyes wide shut of course.)
3-2. Cometh the hour……ball fell to our heavy drinking midfield maestro who summoned his inner Terry Hurlock and struck the ball from the edge of the area fiercely into the top corner for an averagely magnificent winner. Dropped his shoulder, gave it everything – top bins! Tonksy!!
Best Defending: Great work in goal by Roy – no chance with either goal after outfield errors. ( Paul G’s pass intercepted by Grant and Baby losing possession and not winning it back!)
The Squire’s brave block on the line – arm across his chest and eyes wide shut -again!
Chris – late on and as teammates panicked- coolly took control of the loose ball, carrying it out of defence ; neatly done.
Top Skills and Passing: Fine demonstrations of effective chest control from several players- Paul G, Baby. Graham joined in ending with a chest to arm and carry three step. Comedy gold! ‘He used to be a pro!’ observed the Squire. Good corners though.
Moments and Quotes: ‘ I got nutmegged by the f**king idiot.’
‘ The defence was very good’. Roy gives praise to his teammates.
‘ You were lucky your foot was in the air!’ The reckless hack on Smudge could have been even worse.
‘See I told you I’m not that bad’. Josh promotes his own diplomacy skills after their number 10 kicked off.
‘Mike! Look! Look!’ Taj not happy that a pass is not forthcoming when he was unmarked.
Jon – who had an excellent game often working in tandem with the Squire- let himself down by not posting a shot of his bathroom to follow on from the show kitchen photo.
‘Nobody gambled!’ Smudge berates those in attacking positions for not getting to a ball crossed to the far post.
‘You need to score this time Steve.’ Tim after Steve R had ignored the opportunity at a previous corner…and, lo, he did: Magnificent!
‘It was a good idea to play Graham up front’ Mad Dave again shows his tactical acumen. ‘ I think it was more playing five in midfield Dave’. ‘You played five in midfield?’
Doyley felt the red mist descend again- if only Scholesy had come on instead.
After the previous week’s thumping an excellent team performance bossing the midfield and closing down all over the pitch.
11/10/20 Oppo: Erith Vets
Score: 3 - 2
Scorers: Finchy, Mike, GG
Team: Roy - DI Chris Paul G Finchy - Taj John Squire Tonksy SD - Mike GG
Sub: SMUDGER (not used)
In a word: Frustrating
In a sentence: Hard fought victory!
Players MOM (chosen by Smudger): Finchy
Marks MOM: Finchy
After a team talk from Smudge highlighting the threat of the long ball over the top for Mick to run onto, we managed to concede after 10 mins to the move mentioned beforehand, Mick didn't connect very well and a slight deflection off Finchy saw the ball nestle in the far corner, Roymond thought it was going wide! In the next 10 mins we could have been 0-3 behind Mick went for power on both occasions and missed both by a long way. After this we settled down and played some decent football, alas the final ball was not
all it should have been. Both Paul G and Finchy had headers saved by a scrambling Erith keeper, GG nearly scored direct from a corner, then saw a fine free kick cannon off the post to safety. We finally equalised when Finchy headed one of GG's fine corners into the net, 1-1 was just about what we deserved, only, to switch off and concede another soft goal, the Erith forwards shot again deflecting off Finchy and beating Roymond. So we went in at h/t 1-2 behind.
A good h/t team talk from Smudge and Paul G seemed to be taken on board by the Tamps and we set about rectifying the lacklustre first half performance. We controlled most of the 2nd half, the passing was better, the intensity was upped
and gradually we got more and more on top, our midfield 5 played more like they had done the week before against AH, this pressure forced a poor back pass from the Erith defender which allowed Mike to nip in and round the keeper to make it 2-2, by now we were well on top and a third seemed only a matter of time, it came after the ball was worked to Mike, he sped past the full back and cut an excellent ball back for GG to volley past the keeper, 3-2 and the only chances Erith had in the 2nd
half came from a poor header back from DI Chris which Paul G managed to get to and block the forwards effort, and the hilarious moment when after Paul T had knocked the ball back to the keeper, the cries of ''Don't pick it up Roy'' fell on deaf ears, and, Roymond picked it up, if Erith had scored fromthe free kick I doubt it would have been as funny.
3-2 win, two good victories in the last couple of weeks, now for Santos.
Thanks to Paul T and the Squire for sharing the ref duties
Goal of the game: GG's to make it 3-2
Top Tackle: Paul G's two last ditch efforts
Quotes: All from the sideline as I (Smudger) couldn't hear anything on the pitch:
''Don't pick it up Roy'' x 3, oh for fuck's sake!!
Erith Deano: What's wrong with him, he only got kicked by a fat bloke
Smudger: That mean's it could have been anyone from your side then.
Erith Big Mick: ''Hey Smudge, your centre back Chris has done some weight he used to have a right Derby on him'' an ironic summing up from Big Mick
Score: 3 - 2
Scorers: Finchy, Mike, GG
Team: Roy - DI Chris Paul G Finchy - Taj John Squire Tonksy SD - Mike GG
Sub: SMUDGER (not used)
In a word: Frustrating
In a sentence: Hard fought victory!
Players MOM (chosen by Smudger): Finchy
Marks MOM: Finchy
After a team talk from Smudge highlighting the threat of the long ball over the top for Mick to run onto, we managed to concede after 10 mins to the move mentioned beforehand, Mick didn't connect very well and a slight deflection off Finchy saw the ball nestle in the far corner, Roymond thought it was going wide! In the next 10 mins we could have been 0-3 behind Mick went for power on both occasions and missed both by a long way. After this we settled down and played some decent football, alas the final ball was not
all it should have been. Both Paul G and Finchy had headers saved by a scrambling Erith keeper, GG nearly scored direct from a corner, then saw a fine free kick cannon off the post to safety. We finally equalised when Finchy headed one of GG's fine corners into the net, 1-1 was just about what we deserved, only, to switch off and concede another soft goal, the Erith forwards shot again deflecting off Finchy and beating Roymond. So we went in at h/t 1-2 behind.
A good h/t team talk from Smudge and Paul G seemed to be taken on board by the Tamps and we set about rectifying the lacklustre first half performance. We controlled most of the 2nd half, the passing was better, the intensity was upped
and gradually we got more and more on top, our midfield 5 played more like they had done the week before against AH, this pressure forced a poor back pass from the Erith defender which allowed Mike to nip in and round the keeper to make it 2-2, by now we were well on top and a third seemed only a matter of time, it came after the ball was worked to Mike, he sped past the full back and cut an excellent ball back for GG to volley past the keeper, 3-2 and the only chances Erith had in the 2nd
half came from a poor header back from DI Chris which Paul G managed to get to and block the forwards effort, and the hilarious moment when after Paul T had knocked the ball back to the keeper, the cries of ''Don't pick it up Roy'' fell on deaf ears, and, Roymond picked it up, if Erith had scored fromthe free kick I doubt it would have been as funny.
3-2 win, two good victories in the last couple of weeks, now for Santos.
Thanks to Paul T and the Squire for sharing the ref duties
Goal of the game: GG's to make it 3-2
Top Tackle: Paul G's two last ditch efforts
Quotes: All from the sideline as I (Smudger) couldn't hear anything on the pitch:
''Don't pick it up Roy'' x 3, oh for fuck's sake!!
Erith Deano: What's wrong with him, he only got kicked by a fat bloke
Smudger: That mean's it could have been anyone from your side then.
Erith Big Mick: ''Hey Smudge, your centre back Chris has done some weight he used to have a right Derby on him'' an ironic summing up from Big Mick
Santos (Away- The Pavilion.) 18.10.2020.
3 - 0 (Chris (pen), Graham, Doyley)
Team: Roy, Chris, Finchy, Baby, Taj, Jon, Smudge, Tonksy, Steve R, Doyley, Graham, Tim
Subbed: Tim, Smudge, Finchy (injured)
In a Sentence: New ground, good game, two bars , good bants and multiple Lee Hurst look-a-likes.
In a Word: Competitive.
Players’ Player: A good performance by all with a number of candidates. The back 3- Chris, Baby and Finchy- were all good with the latter perhaps the pick. Graham caused the Santos defence a lot of problems. Roy made two fine saves in the second half to preserve our lead and perhaps keep us in the game- a very well deserved clean sheet. Outstanding all round performance though was Jon : strong going forward and broke up Santos attacks winning the ball all over the pitch.
Goals and Goal of the Game
Chris- penalty, stroked into the corner with the keeper going the wrong way; this after Baby had been assassinated in the box.
Doyley- poked in the third from very close range and a prominently offside position. Excited reaction was completely unwarranted.
Goal of the Game- Graham : started in an offside position but Jon brought the ball forward played him in allowing Graham to take a touch, drop his shoulder and smash it in.
Best Defending: Roy’s saves – got his body behind a fierce close range drive after some penalty box ping pong. Quickly out to dive at the forward’s feet and claim the ball- great one on one effort.
Timely interceptions from Finchy who also showed he could kick the ball as high as anyone.
Steve R- made excellent use of the space and his free role on the left to motivate and direct the team- fine voice.
As stated Jon everywhere constantly putting the oppo under pressure, plenty of successful tackles and interceptions.
Top Skills and Passing: Doyley’s first touch of the game and a later overhead may not live long in the memory. Smudger’s through ball to Taj sending him towards goal- he seemed to get control but fell over. Graham’s excellent volleyed cross – perfect for Doyley to …head over the bar.
Moments and Quotes: ‘He’s a provocative little f****r’. An uncharitable assessment of why Graham was hacked down a lot.
Steve R advanced, he wasn’t closed down..he shot. ‘ You had someone outside you who knows what he’s doing’, mused Smudger.
MTK had to apologise having got an off-side wrong.
‘ He’s starting to show his age a bit’. Another uncharitable comment – this time about Taj.
‘ I’ve never got a clue what he’s going to do. He hasn’t even got a clue what he’s going to do’. An accurate assessment of Doyley.
Very good to see Paul D – and he reckons he’ll be back playing soon; excellent!
3 - 0 (Chris (pen), Graham, Doyley)
Team: Roy, Chris, Finchy, Baby, Taj, Jon, Smudge, Tonksy, Steve R, Doyley, Graham, Tim
Subbed: Tim, Smudge, Finchy (injured)
In a Sentence: New ground, good game, two bars , good bants and multiple Lee Hurst look-a-likes.
In a Word: Competitive.
Players’ Player: A good performance by all with a number of candidates. The back 3- Chris, Baby and Finchy- were all good with the latter perhaps the pick. Graham caused the Santos defence a lot of problems. Roy made two fine saves in the second half to preserve our lead and perhaps keep us in the game- a very well deserved clean sheet. Outstanding all round performance though was Jon : strong going forward and broke up Santos attacks winning the ball all over the pitch.
Goals and Goal of the Game
Chris- penalty, stroked into the corner with the keeper going the wrong way; this after Baby had been assassinated in the box.
Doyley- poked in the third from very close range and a prominently offside position. Excited reaction was completely unwarranted.
Goal of the Game- Graham : started in an offside position but Jon brought the ball forward played him in allowing Graham to take a touch, drop his shoulder and smash it in.
Best Defending: Roy’s saves – got his body behind a fierce close range drive after some penalty box ping pong. Quickly out to dive at the forward’s feet and claim the ball- great one on one effort.
Timely interceptions from Finchy who also showed he could kick the ball as high as anyone.
Steve R- made excellent use of the space and his free role on the left to motivate and direct the team- fine voice.
As stated Jon everywhere constantly putting the oppo under pressure, plenty of successful tackles and interceptions.
Top Skills and Passing: Doyley’s first touch of the game and a later overhead may not live long in the memory. Smudger’s through ball to Taj sending him towards goal- he seemed to get control but fell over. Graham’s excellent volleyed cross – perfect for Doyley to …head over the bar.
Moments and Quotes: ‘He’s a provocative little f****r’. An uncharitable assessment of why Graham was hacked down a lot.
Steve R advanced, he wasn’t closed down..he shot. ‘ You had someone outside you who knows what he’s doing’, mused Smudger.
MTK had to apologise having got an off-side wrong.
‘ He’s starting to show his age a bit’. Another uncharitable comment – this time about Taj.
‘ I’ve never got a clue what he’s going to do. He hasn’t even got a clue what he’s going to do’. An accurate assessment of Doyley.
Very good to see Paul D – and he reckons he’ll be back playing soon; excellent!
06.11.2020. Canning Town Tennis Court Pitch.
5 - 7 Podge, Matt, Steve R, Roy, Baby
Team: Tony, Chris, Finchy, Baby, Smudge, The Squire, Tonksy, Podge, Steve R, Roy, Graham, Matt, Doyley. ( Tim: Ref.)
Subbed: Matt, Doyley, Finchy ( injured ), Roy, Smudge.
In A Sentence: Another last game before Lockdown- a match to bring the crowds back.
In a word: Entertainment.
Players’ Player: Several need mentioning -Graham continued his excellent form providing assists but not adding to his goal tally. Podge lasted the whole game, was excellent throughout AND despite giving ourselves a mountain to climb after an atrocious first quarter of an hour kept his cool. Matt came on for the hamstrung Finchy and whilst the goal flow was not immediately stemmed defended strongly and pulled one back with a “power header”. Tony making his Senior Vets debut managed to keep smiling throughout and made some good saves to support our fight back.
Winner: Podge- a ‘dog shit’ performance- he got everywhere.
Goals: Podge precisely placed – right foot – inside the near post from Graham set up. 1-5 the fight back was on!!?!
Matt: glancing header from a Graham corner. Not an Own Goal then?
Steve R: carefully placed header- Son like- after six yard box pinball chaos.
Roy: drove firmly past their keeper from another Graham set up. Deflected off the defender?
Baby: free kick from the right beating the keeper on his near post having kept it low and driven in round the wall. Assault on Graham led to the free kick.
Best Defending: Fine block by Baby when out numbered. Tony flying across his near post to tip behind a fierce drive. Rising like damp to keep out the attempt from the halfway line.
Top Skills : Graham- great on the ball and involved in all our goals.
Chris- drew patronising gasps and Woohs from the oppo with a Cruyff shimmy- of course he’s got that in his locker! Tonksy – a powerful shot ‘ He hit it too hard!’ Baby’s “diags” to Graham. Smudger’s assist for their sixth goal setting up a perfect chip from 20 yards.
Moments and Quotes: 1-0 down after 90 seconds. 4-0 down after 10 minutes. 5-0 down after 15.
‘ The grass was too long it didn’t help our game.’ Tonksy clutching at straws.
Roy- ‘ Crusty the Clown’ fall over his own feet when one on one,
Tonksy smashing the shot onto the bar with the goal at his mercy. Made all the difference!
‘I’d like to say that when I hit my first time pass to Matt the oppo said : “Quality “.’ Smudger- several times.
‘ Get in the f***ng box!’ The Squire is a demanding leader.
‘He didn’t disappoint’. Doyley did what was expected…..
When will we play again?
5 - 7 Podge, Matt, Steve R, Roy, Baby
Team: Tony, Chris, Finchy, Baby, Smudge, The Squire, Tonksy, Podge, Steve R, Roy, Graham, Matt, Doyley. ( Tim: Ref.)
Subbed: Matt, Doyley, Finchy ( injured ), Roy, Smudge.
In A Sentence: Another last game before Lockdown- a match to bring the crowds back.
In a word: Entertainment.
Players’ Player: Several need mentioning -Graham continued his excellent form providing assists but not adding to his goal tally. Podge lasted the whole game, was excellent throughout AND despite giving ourselves a mountain to climb after an atrocious first quarter of an hour kept his cool. Matt came on for the hamstrung Finchy and whilst the goal flow was not immediately stemmed defended strongly and pulled one back with a “power header”. Tony making his Senior Vets debut managed to keep smiling throughout and made some good saves to support our fight back.
Winner: Podge- a ‘dog shit’ performance- he got everywhere.
Goals: Podge precisely placed – right foot – inside the near post from Graham set up. 1-5 the fight back was on!!?!
Matt: glancing header from a Graham corner. Not an Own Goal then?
Steve R: carefully placed header- Son like- after six yard box pinball chaos.
Roy: drove firmly past their keeper from another Graham set up. Deflected off the defender?
Baby: free kick from the right beating the keeper on his near post having kept it low and driven in round the wall. Assault on Graham led to the free kick.
Best Defending: Fine block by Baby when out numbered. Tony flying across his near post to tip behind a fierce drive. Rising like damp to keep out the attempt from the halfway line.
Top Skills : Graham- great on the ball and involved in all our goals.
Chris- drew patronising gasps and Woohs from the oppo with a Cruyff shimmy- of course he’s got that in his locker! Tonksy – a powerful shot ‘ He hit it too hard!’ Baby’s “diags” to Graham. Smudger’s assist for their sixth goal setting up a perfect chip from 20 yards.
Moments and Quotes: 1-0 down after 90 seconds. 4-0 down after 10 minutes. 5-0 down after 15.
‘ The grass was too long it didn’t help our game.’ Tonksy clutching at straws.
Roy- ‘ Crusty the Clown’ fall over his own feet when one on one,
Tonksy smashing the shot onto the bar with the goal at his mercy. Made all the difference!
‘I’d like to say that when I hit my first time pass to Matt the oppo said : “Quality “.’ Smudger- several times.
‘ Get in the f***ng box!’ The Squire is a demanding leader.
‘He didn’t disappoint’. Doyley did what was expected…..
When will we play again?
