Match Reports - 2023/24

Super Vet Match Reports - 2023/24

Belvedere - Home 19.05.24

Score: 3-0

Scorers: Steve A(2), SD

Team: Tony – Matt Baby Paul G Finchy – Taj Podge Tom E Steve A – SD CHEF

Subs: Chris Simon Jon Smudge

In a word: Satisfying

In a sentence: A fine win in testing conditions.

As with the week before it was another hot Sunday morning, only this time we had a larger squad. On a bumpy pitch both sides struggled with their passing at first, Neither keeper had much to in the first 15 mins, Tom E's shooting was off target, Doyley strayed offside on numerous occasions and our corners were not good, then, out of the blue Doyley struck, a run with the ball helped by every bounce falling straight back to him managed a composed finish 1-0. At the water break a few tweaks took place, Jon for Taj and Simon replaced Steve A. We played a bit better but without testing the keeper, the Oppo didn’t force a save from Tony in the 1st half, a few mins from h/t Chef’s rib injury from Thursday night ended his game and Taj returned.

The 2nd half began with Chris replacing Doyley, we were the better side but that wasn’t being reflected in the scoreline, Tom continued to have an off day with his shooting boots and our final pass was not good enough. The oppo then had a really good chance to equalise but Tony sprinted (?) off his line to smother the shot. With 20mins left Finchy made way for Smudger, within minutes a fine passing move involving Taj, Podge sr, Smudge and Baby ended with Steve lobbing the keeper, 2-0 and as the oppo tired a 3rd came when Smudge dinked a ball over the oppo forward, collected, fed Podge sr who found Jon and his pass put Steve in for the 3rd. A good way to end the season.

A good turnout in the bar after and a few pints consumed. Simon and Matt denying everything from the previous weekend was humorous.

Baby delighted everyone with his tales and pictures of his last shoot even, bringing in a spent bullet casing.

Smudge also learnt that he’d made one of Tom E’s boys cry by substituting his dad – Smudgers reply “get used it”. Tough job this management lark!

Erith. Home. 12.05.24

Score: 2-3
Scorers: SD, Finchy

Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Smudger, Finchy - John, Chris, Podge, Simon SD - Dino

Subs: Paul T Tom L

In a word: Disappointing
In a sentence: Slow out of the blocks!

On a glorious day for Cricket we were playing football! On a day when we could have done with the 17 bodies of the previous week we cobbled together 13.

Yet again we started slowly and were 0-2 behind inside 10mins, the new young(ish) striker had a hand in both, bumping off Baby to lay the ball off to an unmarked midfielder (another new lad) who beat Tony from the edge of the box, too be honest I don't remember the 2nd but I know their striker was involved. Smudge made way for the late arriving Paul T and we had the better of the first half from about 15 mins on. One of their other young Strikers (Joe) managed to hit the post from a foot out after Tony's air shot left Joe with an open goal....miss of the season?
So h/t 0-2.

Tom L had joined us and went on for the Injured Simon, we were in control but couldn't score, then against the run of play we conceded again, A lost ball in midfield and one pass split the defence for Joe to make amends for his first half mistake, 0-3. A good move a minute later saw SD finish with aplomb, 1-3. We were now in total control, Smudge replaced Chris, within minutes Finchy struck a hit and hope shot which, somehow, ended up in the top left hand corner! We were well on top and another good move saw Dino somehow hitting the post from 6 inches! As players tired in the roasting heat we huffed and puffed but couldn't get the equaliser. Thanks to Roy for stepping in as ref, I think he took equal amounts of abuse from both sides.

Let's hope it's not as hot next Sunday for our final fixture against Belvedere.

Good banter in the bar mostly directed at Simon, the hole he dug himself as regards being the man to take over from The Gaffer was highly amusing, suffice to say...he's not!

Avery Hill. Home. 05.05.24.

2 - 2 (Dino 2)

Team: Tony, Matt, Finchy, Paul G, Steve A, Ryan, Jon, Gary, Chris, Mo, Dino, Dave, Taj, ,Tommy, Baby, Podge, Graham. Smudge (Lino). (Tim Ref.)

The Game: With a few regulars away- Tonksy enjoying another Millwall away win and family time in Swansea and goal machine (his words) Doyley on swimming duties we were still able to field a large squad courtesy of Dino’s international scouting network: Mo was over from France. Avery Hill had similar personnel to the previous fixture but welcomed Danny back in goal.

From early on it was clear that this was to be at least as combative and competitive game as usual with strong challenges from both sides particularly in the midfield. Chris had a fine, perfectly timed challenge on Lyndon as he threatened to breakaway: the ball was won and Lyndon needed time to recover. Matt also made a series of fine tackles, remarkably not fouling anyone AND also keeping all his passes in play. We had a great chance early on: after good play down our right the ball flashed across the six yard box to Dino who, stretching, could only skew his shot over the bar.

Controversy seemed to come at the other end when Par broke free behind the defence. Tony was out quickly and Par went down. Tim was clear that it wasn’t a penalty much to Avery Hill’s violently voiced disgust. Several Avery players continued to moan and groan and Grant was sin binned after a particularly unnecessary and sweary outburst. Avery went into the lead through a well taken looping header from Gi. 0-1 the half time score.

Whilst we’d competed well in the first half our midfield shape had not been good at times leaving us exposed to the long ball and the counter attack. Fortunately we corrected this in the second half with Podge and Tommy in the middle of the park alongside Gary and later Jon with Graham giving us a consistent outlet on the left and Ryan the same on the right.

Avery’s second was against the run of play and was definitely avoidable. Having played ourselves into trouble and seemingly averted the danger we played a loose ball across the box, intercepted by Avery, with Gi slotting his second past Tony who had no chance.

We kept playing and it was Avery who were to lose their midfield balance – particularly after Stuart went off. Tonks needed to be at his best as sweeper to make some very timely tackles and interceptions as we increased the pressure. Dino pulled one back with a finely judged chip from 25 yards into the empty net after Danny had come out to save and the ball was only partially cleared.

Our corners weren’t as good as they should be but Baby sent in a fine free kick which Ryan couldn’t quite direct on target. ( Baby’s initial free kick, his first touch, had not been as impressive failing to get off the ground and going straight to an opponent.) We were on top and Avery through Jonny and Darren in particular gave away increasingly desperate and unnecessary fouls whilst Finchy had a great edge of box strike that just swerved past the post having seemed goal bound when it left his boot. Even so we were indebted to a very fine save from Tony to deny Par and keep us in the contest. Tony stood up well and reacted brilliantly to beat away the shot.

Our deserved equaliser came after another hasty Avery clearance fell to Matt advancing wide on the right. His cross into a still heavily congested box was quality ( and merited the vein busting celebration when it was converted) and it was matched with a fine Dino header. Having to jump backwards a little he was still able to find the power to guide the ball into the far corner. We then dominated the last 10 – with Graham continuing to combine well with both Podge brothers- but we couldn’t create the chance to win it- although Tommy had a few strikes from distance with one of them skimming the bar. On balance the draw was probably a fair result.

An excellent contest that, after some first half acrimony, settled into a positive competitive match. Well done all!!

What they said: ‘
Tony lost the ability to walk, jump, or use his arms’. Baby on their first goal.

‘They’re a bit good in the air back here’. Avery Rod after being out jumped by Tommy. Finchy and Paul G also ensured our dominance in the air which took the sting out of Avery’s long ball approach.

‘You’re f***ing ruining the game’. Grant clearly felt that Tim was letting too much go and not given his team the free kicks they kept appealing for.

A good game, a good session in the bar (with Smudger and Graham extending it in Bermondsey with Charlie on Adam’s birthday pub and bar crawl) and Podge distributing this season’s much appreciated 🌶 plants. Thank you!!

Avery Hill. Away-at Home - Tennis Court Pitch. 21.04.24.

2-2. (Ryan, Doyley). Fortunately they brought Josh on at half time.

Team: Tony, Matt, Paul T, Paul G, Steve A, Ryan, Chris, Smudge, Jon, Taj, Graham, Kai, Tonksy, Doyley, ( Dino: left before half time) ( Tim: Lino.)

The Game: The London Marathon had presented travel issues for some players but fortunately the two Pauls arrived to stop our starting XI featuring both Doyley and Tim. Playing his first game as a sprightly 67 year old and Skipper for the occasion Smudge failed to spot which hand the dandelion was in. Avery Hill gave us the kick off.

Even with Matt’s Stand Finder boots putting the ball into touch with some regularity we played some decent football. Graham was on his own up front but we played the better attacking football. Jon and Ryan supported well on the right and Steve and Taj did so from the left. Chris and Smudge ensured that we used the ball well. Our defence was generally on top and Avery’s threat mainly came from long balls to their forwards and from well delivered corners. Tony made a couple of decent saves particularly early on diving to his right to push the ball clear. The best chance came after Paul T’s pass was cut out by Ish and he slid the ball to Grant just ahead of the penalty spot. There was relief when he uncharacteristically skied his drive. Avery had a new keeper with Danny absent and he showed decent competence reading and holding our shots- mainly from Graham-and crosses. With Paul G protecting an eye haemorrhage we didn’t have our usual threat from set pieces despite some decent delivery. Another feature of the match was apparent in the first 45- some inconsistent Reffing and bad Avery Hill fouls- Lyndon to the fore, including leaving stud marks on Smudge. Hmm- not showing appropriate respect! 0-0 at half time.

With Dino having left we had 3 subs to bring into play and significantly reduce the age of the midfield: Doyley and Kai (possibly!?!) in their 50s and Tonksy freshly a 61 year old replaced Taj, Chris and Smudge – combined age 194.

Avery went ahead in controversial circumstances. After Ryan appeared to be taken out the ball was moved forward to Par who curled the ball from distance into the far right corner. It wasn’t long before we were level – Josh had come on at half time and we were to be very glad about this. He inadvertently gave Ryan the chance to steal in and finish comfortably. Avery Hill went back in front after Paul G had chopped down an opponent who looked to break away- a shame as Paul T was again well positioned to cover. The free kick caught us out, Ish timing his run perfectly to beat our defensive line. His first touch was also unexpectedly perfect and his finish sharp. Another poor challenge Lyndon adding Matt to his victims (Graham and Ryan had also been thumped) provided a flash point. A free kick was given and after some words (including some assertive Anglo-Saxon from Ken the Ref ) and invasion of body space Kai was sin binned, Taj his temporary replacement. The game was tight and we were working hard. Tonksy won a “towering header” and excellent defence ensured that Avery didn’t get another sight of goal.

At the other end it wasn’t so secure. Josh made another defensive misjudgement and Doyley was able to scuff a right footed finish from close range for our second equaliser. When Mad Dave too, late on, showed hesitation and fragility it seemed that Doyley would win it for us but the keeper somehow was able to divert the ball wide. An entertaining draw – with everyone playing their part- and, perhaps, a moral victory.

What they said: ‘You know- we’ve got Smudge. He just sits in there’. (Indeed he does and he’s being doing for a good few years now- with a few more to come). Matt.
‘ He’s a fox in the box’. Tonksy gives a positive view of Doyley.
‘It’s the best I’ve seen the boys play- for a good while.’ Superfan Del knows his football.
to edit.

Santos. Home- Tennis Court Pitch. 14.04.24.

2-6. (Paul T 2 - including 1 pen)

Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Andre, Ryan, Tonksy, Tommy, Kai, Steve A, Paul T, Graham, Doyley, Simon, Chris, Chef, Smudge (unused).Dino ( unused : emergency!) Tim (Ref).

The Game: An unusually large squad gave us selection options but unsettling regular team change as we tried to give everyone a game; even then Smudge missed out and with hindsight it was clear we could have done with his nous and game management and studied use of the ball. As the game went on age related fitness perhaps came into play.

The first half was a good contest with both sides playing decent football. Paul T put us ahead winning the ball having closed the keeper down as he tried to play out of the area. The equaliser was mildly controversial. After we’d half cleared the ball the scorer seemed to be in an offside position- perhaps Chris as Lino was slightly out of position. There was no controversy about Santos’ second: Karl driving the ball home from distance after we’d lost the ball on the edge of the oppo box. 2-1 at half time and we felt we should have been level. Tim had failed to give a penalty when Doyley was caught by the defender but did his best Scholesy impersonation throwing himself dramatically to the turf.

It’s about creating and taking chances and Santos showed us how to do both in a testing second half. Tony was beaten by two excellent free kicks. The first was on our right side after Andre had uncharacteristically (and unnecessarily?) hacked the forward down.Karl found the top far corner to complete his new boot hat trick. The second was from in the Santos half as Tony was off his line and this had been spotted by Tim and the Santos players.The other goals came from close in: a header by Robbo and a first time finish after a strong run down and low cross from our right. Our second came from the spot after a hand was used to cut out Ryan’s goal bound header- Paul T giving the keeper no chance with a well struck and well placed penalty. Whilst we had some decent build up we couldn’t create many chances and we looked more threatening in the last 10 minutes or so when Chef was a more effective centre forward. Graham had a fine run going past a couple of defenders but fired wide- perhaps caught in two minds about shooting or playing in Paul T who was unmarked towards the far post. Tommy had drawn a couple of saves from their keeper in the first half with decent efforts from distance.

We also did not make enough of set pieces with ineffective delivery failing to give Paul G and others any decent opportunity. Defensively Tony had kept the score down in the first half with a couple of decent stops.In the second Ryan made an outstanding block on our line when a goal looked inevitable. Matt enjoyed the tackle of the game stopping the rampaging centre back in his tracks after he’d surged past several opponents. Late on Tim tired of insults from one player who was being unfair to ‘Retards’ and sent him off- surprisingly he went without fuss.

As Tony was to say in the bar : ‘It wasn’t a great day at the office’. But it was good to have Steve A, Paul G and Tommy back. Simon had the opportunity to test his developing fitness with a couple of strong surges forward and a couple of lung busting chases back. We battled but Santos were in general stronger and clearly deserved the win even if the score was a bit lopsided.

And it was Tonksy’s 61st birthday and he got the drinks in! 🍺🍻🍺🍻🍺🍻. Thank you!

Inter Viagra. Roan. Tennis Court Pitch (Jerry’s Ref). 24.03.24.

2-5. (Finchy, Chris (pen)'

Team: Baby, Matt, Andre, Finchy, Adam, Dave T, Cudham Dave, Chris, Simon, Garry, Doyley, Smudge, Tim. (Chef on the sideline: Mr Motivator)

The Game: It was an even contest to start with but we were to rue missing several very good chances in the first 10 minutes- as suddenly Inter were running away with it. Inter Simon broke down our left and pulled the ball across for the centre forward to scuff a miss hit that wrong footed Baby, who had manfully agreed to come in for Tony who somehow had injured a hand in his Saturday game. Missed tackles led to Inter’s second and for the third the Ref played on despite the flag for offside. We also helped Inter with their fourth losing possession outside our box. Inter’s fifth was the pick a 25 yard drive picking out op bins.
Earlier Finchy had got us back in the game firing home from close range after his header had been blocked. Chris’s penalty was well taken- even though we had some delay whilst the Ref was persuaded that he couldn’t not give the spot kick.

It wasn’t our best performance with too many hopeful rather than precise passes. Baby made an excellent second half save on the edge of the area and did really well by not swearing for most of the game. Dave put in some decent corners and a free kick shaved the post. Doyley also had a decent corner but a dogshit free kick. Inter Simon became very angry when ( Cudham) Dave urged him to go and mark someone else.

We’re not having the greatest of Seasons. A change of management looks essential!

Crofton. Samuel Montagu. 17.03.24.

2-4.

Team: Tony, Adam, Matt, Finchy, Simon, Scholesy, Podge, Jon, Graham, Grant, Doyley, Jimmy L, Dave (from Cudham.)

Chef’s in charge!!!

Chef’s WhatsApp report: Pretty even game until they brought on two 30 year olds for the second half. Grant went down with a hamstring just before half time which killed us really. Great game from Matt - who did really well with their forward who was a bit of a handful. Tony pulled off some great saves to keep us in it but let one bounce over him for the fourth. Asbo, Jon, and Podge all put in a shift. Well done to Simon who played a full game having not played for 5 years. Dave came on and had a good game.

Well done boys- we tried our best with the team we had! Great effort boys! We go again next week.

25.02.24. Adventures Before Dementia – 12 go down to Stone Rec.

Lads of the Village. 3-0 (Dino (pen), Jon, Doyley)

Team: Tony, Tim, Dave, Chris, Smudge, Jon, Tonksy, Kai, Scholesy, Dino, Doyley, Graham.

The Match: The first half ended 0-0 but it was not without incident. Tony made some excellent saves including diving to his left to push the ball round the post and spent considerable time perambulating further down the slope to retrieve the ball- after some wayward Lads play- for a seemingly endless succession of goal kicks. Eventually Graham arrived looking just a tad jaded after his productive late night poker session and joined the fray as sweeper , replacing Tim, with Chris moving to right back. Scholesy made it very clear that we were giving the ball away too much but we did also develop some good moves. One freed Jon on the right to reach the byline and put in a telling cross whilst the best saw the ball fed to Dino whose excellent touch took him past the defender but with the keeper to beat his shot dribbled just wide. Kai was making his debut- a very welcome and effective late addition to the squad- and was a strong and solid presence in central midfield. After the first 45 we could see we hadn’t always used the ball as well as we can but with the Lads having not used the downhill advantage we were confident we’d do better in the second half.

…..And so it proved although the 3-0 final scoring was a little flattering. Tony added to a series of good saves – often closing down the advancing forward-with the best of the match, moving quickly to narrow the angle and with a strong arm beating away the close range shot. All defenders had to make vital challenges, for example, Chris winning the ball when we were outnumbered in the box. Graham controlled things reading the game well and Dave gave him great support although a cushioned header set up their forward but the shot was blazed wide. Our starting full backs of Smudge and Tim had a combined age of 133 years young – this falling to 128 when Chris took over at right back- and Smudge not only got through the 90 despite his sciatica but had time to banter with the home support. Dave did have to put his sock on for him after the game however.

Gradually we developed our passing in the oppo half. Dino was freed in the box and when his shot was illegally blocked his spot kick put us 1-0 up. Soon after he spotted Jon ( dubbed Ronaldo by the touchline Lads) surging forward and his well weighted pass behind the defence enabled Jon to run on to it and slip the ball past the keeper. Scholesy, whose bamboozling close control had seen him upended on 4 or 5 occasions, was again felled on the right hand edge of the box. To everyone else’s surprise Doyley scored from the free kick. 3-0 the final score and good contributions from all with Tonksy covering more and more of the middle of the park as the play became stretched and Kai tired, eventually resting on the left with Scholesy dropping inside well. No hot water and a long journey for some but a fine win – a feast for our supporters: Yasmin and Jack, Belle and Roy.

The Goals: Dino took the penalty he had won and eased it inside the right hand post. Jon scored our second well, unhurriedly sliding the ball past the advancing keeper. For our third- he’s done it before and did it again- Doyley speared the free kick across goal into top bins giving the keeper no chance.

What they said: ‘ Your keeper’s the difference’. And : ‘ You’re a good passing side. Have any of you played at a decent level?’
Words from the home support. ‘He pulled rank on me.’ Graham explains why Doyley had the free kick. ‘ That player needs age testing! I can’t get my leg that high’. Smudge after Chris had been kicked in the head.
And a good time in the Bull. Smudge reminiscing about past rugby tours: ‘ We lost two people to alcoholic poisoning.’ ‘Did I ever tell you the time….’

Oppo: Crofton 04/02/24

Score:0-0

Team: Tony Matt Finchy Podge sr Dave – Tonksy Paul T GG SD – Dino Scholesy
Subs: Chris Smudger

In a word: Awful
In a sentence: It was bloody awful

Not much to report really, pitch was terrible, both teams struggled to play any football and, the bar had no decent beer!

We started slowly and if Croftons forward John had composed himself we could have been 0-2 behind after 10mins. The game settled down eventually, both teams struggled to get any passing going and the ball spent a lot of time in the air. The Crofton keeper made a good save from Scholesy which turned out to be his only one of the game. 0-0 at h/t, Paul had come off after 10 mins replaced by Smudge who, then came off at h/t for Chris, the treasurer looked like he’d certainly refuelled well on his holiday!

The 2nd half was as bad as the 1st, a few goalmouth scrambles but no worthy shots for either keeper to save. Despite the pleas of the supporters the ref played the full 45mins and, in the last seconds of that turgid 45 Tony’s clearance struck the Crofton forward and trickled past the post, phew! A draw was the final outcome.

Due to the dreadful choice of ale we repaired to The Club where better food and drink was on offer.
We are due back at the same ground next vs Ashburnham – I think the forecast rain may put pay to that.

21.01.24.  Inter Viagra.   Roan Playing Fields. Tennis Court Pitch.

2-1. (Doyley, Paul T)

Team: Tony, Matt the Tache, Paul G, Finchy, Steve A, Jon, Tonksy, Paul T, Doyley, Dino, Scholesy, Smudge, Jack, Gary.   ( Tim: Ref)

The Game: A very disjointed, towards shambolic, first 10 minutes almost saw us concede more than the one well taken opener from Marty, the Inter captain. However, we gradually became the dominant team, strong in defence, competitive in midfield and looking threatening up front.We did, however, spend a long time failing to find the right final ball or to finish clinically in front of goal. Jon’s highly optimistic shot- late in the game- from the right when several teammates were well placed symbolised this.But he was entitled to this indulgence given the work he’d put in both going forward and winning the ball from his opponents. Dino’s failure to convert when set up by Paul T’s back heel although bringing a sharp save from Dave was probably the miss of the game.
Finchy won his battle with the centre forward who, by the end of the game, looked a weary, defeated figure. Matt, relishing his Wing Commander persona flew in from the right whenever required ( and occasionally when it wasn’t) usually with precision and only occasionally overshooting. Fortunately, he saw an interception, squeeze past our own post when it seemed it was going to be an own goal. Paul G calmly organised things and also ensured that Tony had little to do – particularly in the second half.

Doyley put us level with a well aimed effort to complete a good move about 25 minutes in and also had a flick that reached its intended target. Smudge enjoyed a 20 minute cameo not only winning an important header but surging forward having intercepted the ball and beating his man, pushing the ball one way and swerving round the other to collect and make an attacking pass. At half time he nobly stepped out of the game to give Gary a Tamps debut.  Paul T both when centre mid and when up front saw a lot of the ball and scored our winner. Tonksy’s thrust and commitment showed in the cut to his forehead- he gives his all for the team.  Dino assisted both goals and worked himself into some  threatening positions. His finishing will improve the more he plays. Scholesy flashed a couple of drives just wide and would have scored after Paul T’s free kick came back off the bar if Dino hadn’t inadvertently blocked the shot.  Steve A had some good runs forward but wasn’t happy with his performance- as he later indicated on the WhatsApp group chat.  Jack, as well as compensating for Baby’s absence with some fine long balls, also showed he had a long throw and, perhaps unsurprisingly, won some important defensive headers.  In the end it was a good win and a good team performance- yes, we should have scored a couple more but our build up play was often impressive.

The Goals: The ball was worked out to Paul T wide on the right and his fine cross targeted Dino  who cushioned his header down and across for Doyley , who ‘legged’ a precise low shot inside the post.
Another long ball down the left and over the full back from Jack sent Dino clear. He cut in and squared the ball for Paul T to crash the ball home. The winning goal- it was a long time coming.

What they said:  ‘ We were better with 10’.   Smudge didn’t immediately replace Tonksy for the first substitution.
‘ Did the keeper get a touch.’ ‘ Our keeper? You’re joking!’ After Simon’s shot from distance clipped our bar.
‘I thought I got enough of a hand on it to save it.’ Tony on the opening goal.
‘ Was the ball over the line?’ Paul T was sure his shot and bounced down into the goal after striking the bar.

Man of the Day:  Our Treasurer in St Lucia was a contender, Smudge too was in with a good shout but Matt for all action football and bravely sporting his RAF moustache wins this one. ( Can’t think why Del wasn’t there to see is boy….)

Home: Ashburnham

Score: 2-3

Scorers: Tonksy, Paul G(p)

Team: Tony, Finchy Lee Paul G Baby- Tonksy Podge sr Tom E Doyley.- Scholesy GG
Subs: Chris, Dino, Smudger

One Word: R u b b I s h!!
On paper a decent squad, in reality an awful performance.
Goals: A good move finished by Tonksy, Paul G slots a penalty

A good first 15mins followed by 30mins of dross - 2nd half an awful 35 and a good last 10, special mention for Tony, he had no chance with any of the goals and added another penalty save to his CV.

Roll on 2024!

Charlton Rangers

Away: St Mary’s Sports Ground 26.11. 23.

Score: 0-3

Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Tim, Chris, Tonksy, Jon, Smudge, Taj, Doyley.

The Game:  3 late drop outs reduced a promising squad to a bare 11. Two players, Jon and Tonksy were back from Iberian warm weather training ( and both had avoided socialising with our El Tel equivalent, Scholesy).Our only player under 50, Baby, was still nursing his injury. Four of our midfield five were in their 60s and Tim at 67, delighted to have received a very thoughtful thank you gift ( a fine print of one of the world’s great cities ( Cardiff ) and his connections to it) from Chris on behalf of the team at Thursday ‘training’ took the coveted left back spot. For the full 90!   (Smudge did lobby hard for a shorter second half.)

The turning point was a brilliant penalty save. The sound of Matt’s mistimed tackle on their tall young midfielder could be heard on the other side of the A20. It was very close but it was just inside the box. Tall Danny placed the ball on the spot and his shot was well hit. However, Tony, who claimed only very modest Stella intake the previous evening, hurled himself to his right pushing the ball onto and over the bar. Outstanding!

After that we were comfortable enjoying significant possession and containing the Rangers attacks. Unfortunately, by then we’d conceded 3 goals in the first 25 minutes.
We could claim that one was offside- Roy hadn’t arrived yet to take the flag. One was a very fortunate ricochet, Tony blocking a close range effort (after Baby’s slice had set up the attacker- a single mistake, It’s a cruel game!!) but the ball bouncing down from the following up midfielder for him to pass into the now unguarded net. There was also an own goal, Matt getting the last touch on a near post corner, although the riotous celebrations of the younger centre back suggested it was all his own work.

Yes, pretty much one way traffic in our favour. We didn’t have many shots- Taj the lone effort of the first half , Jon with the one on target and Tim with a highly speculative toe poke that found the near post side netting.

We did have a lot of possession and used it much better in the second half. Jon saw a lot of the ball and provided our thrust, with Chris on the right and Taj on the left giving options out wide. Smudge and Tonksy ensured that we kept the ball and used it more effectively usually finding the right pass. We played out well from the back too most often through Baby but with everybody doing the necessary.

There was some outstanding defending. Matt’s charge back and covering tackle was exceptional and it was rather churlish of Tonksy to urge him to get up and play the loose ball. Baby too had to test his recovery with some pacy surges and covering tackles.Smudge and Tim both had to have testing chases back the former showing he can still call on the after-burners. Finchy had so subdued Tall Dan that the normally shouty  forward quietened down particularly after he’d placed a header wide and Finchy could go walk about pushing forward for the last 15. Tony’s best open play save thwarted Frankie Boy in a dynamic and brilliantly timed one on one.  Doyley didn’t repeat his astounding skills of the previous game where he’d completed a double rotation and three drag backs with remarkable fluency ahead of a rare, meaningful flick but he worked tirelessly and occasionally moved away from his defender. We took some pleasure in the 0-0 second half.

Man of the Day:  Jon has a strong claim – as he usually does but it’s Tony this week. No chance with any of the goals and saved everything else.

Bar Rating: 7/10.  A magnificent 5 (Chris, Tony, Smudge, Tonksy and Tim) became the Super 6 when Finchy arrived to be startled by Smudger’s wistful utterances.  ‘It’s very hard to get a stiletto in a size 10.’  ‘From my time in wandering around the women’s lingerie…..’.  Tonksy was delighted with a compliment: ‘You look fantastic for a man of your age’.

Inter Viagra.   Home: Sam Montagu Astroturf.     19.11.23.

4-1.  (Taj, Tom L (pen), Tommy E (2).)

Team: Tony, Matt, Dave, Finchy, Sam, Taj, Tommy E, Chris, Doyley, Tom L, Smudge, Paul G.   ( Tim: Ref.)

The Game: A contest of two halves. In the first we created little and lost possession too often with wayward passes limiting our effective attacking play. After an initial calamity we defended reasonably well and needed to do so as Inter‘s play was far more coherent with Gary and Simon regular threats.
A forthright exchange at half time had the desired effect and in the second 45 we were generally in control although a couple of late goals gave the score line a flattering look.

Inter opened the scoring in the first couple of minutes. Tony was to find fault with Finchy’s back pass but it was perhaps his poor twelfth touch that let him down. Panic led to him taking out the forward and as Tim blew for the penalty Marty steered the loose ball home. Given the choice of the goal or a penalty Inter’s skipper naturally chose the former, the fact that he’d used his right foot cementing the choice. Two of our best chances stemmed from Inter mistakes. The centre back dwelled on the ball close to goal and his tardy clearance was closed down by Taj- the ricochet grazing the outside of the post. Later Dave in goal due to the normal custodian’s injury allowed the ball to slip through his hands and his oil tanker turn only just enabled him to grab it before it crossed the line. Tom L’s glancing header- from Graham’s fine set piece delivery-  skimmed the bar and was the best chance we’d created before the break.

It could have been that, in the second half,  Smudge brought serenity to our game, that Taj’s selfless move to left back was crucial, the benefit of the slope was the key or just the fact that we woke up led to the improvement but we played some decent stuff. Inter’s attacking threat was nullified by consistent organised defence Paul G enjoying playing again even if it was on the astroturf.  Matt covered well and had one particularly satisfying tackle close to touch.The unusually absent Del would have approved. Finchy was winning a lot in the air and able to push forward more. The two Toms sought to combine whenever possible and also when it wasn’t, leaving Graham an increasingly frustrated figure- an attacking threat who could have seen more of the ball.

It took a while to break the deadlock when Inter Dave pushed on rather than caught the inswinging corner. Taj was there to volley home attacking the far post. There was a strong shout for a handball in the box but Jerry as Lino was best placed to make the call and kept his flag down. However, a few minutes later Dave chased the ball into the box and was getting past the defender when he had his legs taken away. Tim blew and pointed to the spot and Tom L sent the keeper the wrong way putting us in the lead.

By now the teenage team who were due to play after us had gathered on the sideline and they showed their amusement when Tommy slipped over. However, they had to applaud a few moments later when he picked the ball up near the halfway line drove forward beating and shaking off several players and, 22 yards out, looked up and smacked the ball into right hand top bins-a cracker!  Finally, with time almost up the Toms combined again with Tom L dropping deep and angling the ball over the defence for Tom E to run on to. The defence appealed for offside but Jerry didn’t agree and Tom slipped the ball past a despairing Dave. 4-1- job done- eventually!

What they said:  ‘Cl-arse!’ Description of Graham’s excellent tekkers- a perfect bum trap.

‘I’m claiming two assists’. Tony taking credit for Tom E’s  goals as he’d lent him his boots.

‘You can certainly claim one for their goal.’ Tim’s reply.

‘Too many entertainers’. Smudge ‘explains’😉 our laboured play.

‘He’s our keeper- he definitely didn’t touch it!’ Graham after Tony called for and missed the corner.

‘You look like a honey badger from the back’. Roy’s view of Tony.

Man of the Day: A strong mention for Paul G who was only going to come down if someone dropped out…perhaps, he knew something about Missing Mike. However, Taj is the Man!!!!  Scoring on his Anniverary AND volunteering to take on the coveted left back position for the second half AND getting through the full 90. Trust he had energy left for later…..the celebratory evening meal.

Post Match Rating: 8/10.  Good chat and merriment and thanks to Roy for the birthday drinks. Cheers!🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻

Charlton Rangers.   Home.   Tennis Court Pitch.   12.11.23.

0-1.

Team: Tony, Matt, Finchy, Tommy E, Baby, Dave, Jon, The Squire, Graham, Scholesy, Paul T, Doyley, Chris, Tom L.  Smudge (unused). Tim ( Ref)

The Game:  This was an excellent contest and a very strong team effort with fine individual performances – and Doyley played too. Both defences were well organised and effective and there were few clear cut chances at both ends, particularly in the first half. Unfortunately for us it was the Squire who had our better opportunities in the opening 45, firstly firing over and then – from Baby’s fine cross-attempting an over ambitious left foot volley that dribbled wide.Perhaps the more remarkable aspect was that on both occasions he was our most advanced player; truly box to box, two matches in after 7 months injured. Both goalkeepers had impressive games with Tony quickly out to block a number of close range efforts. The pick, in the second half, was when the Mouthy Baldy forward advanced into the box, Tony rapidly closing him down and stretching up to block and push away his shot.

After an unsettled first 10 minutes our midfield dealt with much younger counterparts. Graham pushed in from the left and Jon and the Squire in particular chased, harried and tackled for the full 90, Dave giving good support from the right.

Our defenders all had excellent games too. Paul T took over from Tom E as sweeper at half time both playing very well. Baby, easing himself back after injury, controlled the left side, linked well with those in front of him and was able to get some good passes and crosses in as well as, unsurprisingly,overhitting a few too. Matt, a little harshly,  gave himself responsibility for the goal but also covered well, tackled robustly and with fine timing and only passed the ball out once for a goal kick. Keep it on the floor Matt. Our most outstanding defender though was Finchy who relished the physical challenge of marking their lanky centre forward and dominating on the ground and in the air.

For the second half Smudge established a crèche so that Tom L could play up front which he did well especially in partnership with Scholesy.Both had good efforts  saved and the keeper did very well to push a powerful shot from Tom onto the bar and away. We also  came close from set pieces with testing deliveries from Graham in particular. Doyley had a great chance close in but inevitably flicked it across goal with his left when a right footed strike was required.  Graham had to leave for work with 15 minutes to go Chris subbing in after fine work as Lino completing 4 passes and one important header.

Soon after, following our corner, Charlton broke away and Franky only just back in the game after a first half substitution was clear. Tony blocked the first effort but the ball fell kindly for the forward who calmly steered his shot past covering defenders. We pushed for the equaliser but couldn’t get the goal our all round play derserved. We were satisfied with the performance but disappointed with the result.

What they said:  ‘I know what I’m doing’. Doyley flicking the ball on when the cry had been to hold the ball up.
‘If you tackle like a rhino you’re going to get hurt’. Roy to their right back after a couple of rugged challenges. He subsequently limped off with a painful self inflicted ankle injury.
‘I wish I knew as much about football as you’.  The Squire to the Mouthy Baldy Forward who has declared that he was onside when he was adjudged not to be.

Man of the Day: Well, Roy didn’t fall over and Del relished every tackle and challenge and wished he was on the pitch. Smudge managed his crèche responsibility with full regard to all safeguarding and child protection procedures.Everyone played well with Tony, Jon and the Squire close to Man of the Match – but for keeping Lanky Dan out of the game for the full 90 it has to be Finchy.

Belvedere. Away (Belvedere Sports and Social Club)- 22.10.23

3 - 0 (Tom L. Steve A, Jon)

Team: Tony, Matt, Tommy E, Podge, Tim, Dave, Jon, The Squire, Steve A, Paul T, Tom L, Tonksy.

The Game: The Squire returning for his first game since March, having been told off by the portly Ref for warming up on the pitch, warned after the toss that we needed to behave and be tight lipped. It was good advice. The Ref showed his mettle early on stopping the game to ensure that our Ultras ( Roy, Doyley and daughter) were moved back from the touchline to beyond the rope. This was almost as exciting as it got.

We elected to play up the significant slope to start and this combining with other factors- a sticky surface, the pitch half in shadow,  lack of warm up largely due to late arrivals for a 10.15 kick off and players getting to know each other’s game led to a mediocre performance. Or it could have been that we couldn’t pass to each other. Even when Tonksy joined the midfield, Tim having started his first game as a 67 year old, Steve A switching to left back, our build up play was at best mixed. In fact Tonksy’s most creative contribution was a random back heel in his own area that set up one of the oppo’s better chances.

Tom L put us ahead calmly finishing from close in but we didn’t add to this before half time. Their keeper saved well from Tom L after an indirect free kick given for a picked up back pass, Paul T had a good chance in front of goal and Jon defended well to steer the ball wide when Steve A was better placed. At the other end we were grateful to Tommy E and Podge for some excellent covering and well timed tackles and to Tony for being alert to Belvedere’s long ball stategy. He made a particularly strong save bravely thwarting the advancing forward who was free some 10 yards out. He also stayed tall to clutch an attempted chip.  Doyley’s footwear provided half time entertainment and the consensus was we’d play better downhill.

Indeed there was some crisp interplay passing to feet but we were too disjointed with the defence strong when attacked but too deep a lot of the time. We used Steve on the left and Matt and Dave on the right to develop play well but with Paul T and Tom dropping to receive the ball we didn’t often enough have anyone in the box to make good on our attacking possession. One good move freed Jon running onto the ball in the box but his shot needed to be wider of the keeper. When we did beat the goalie an excellent goal line clearance headed Dave’s effort clear.  Belvedere kept going making full use of their 18 players in 10-15 minute bursts.

Late goals made the game safe, first Steve A heading home and Jon making it 3-0 with a well taken left foot finish.

Both sides arrived at the bar reasonably happy with the result and became happier as they refuelled: a decent food spread and okay beers.

The Goals: Paul T’s ball from the right picked out Tom L running unmarked in the box for a calm finish stroked to the keeper’s left. The second was a glancing, well directed header at the far post, Steve A nodding home Tom L’s cross who received a great first time angled ball from Tommy E. Jon powered home the third to double his quota for the season in only our 9thgame!

Man of the Day: Roy - not only did he have to endure, as a loyal supporter, a rather inconsistent Tamps performance he also suffered an unfortunate if dramatic slip and fall retrieving the ball for a throw in. Nobody laughed.

What they said: ‘My laces are too big!’ Podge explains why his right footed clearance was shanked into touch.

Played 9. Won 3. Lost 6.  For 17. Against 26.

Tom L 4, Tom E 3, Jon 2, Finchy 2, Paul T, Scholesy, Chef, Taj, Richard, Steve A : 1 each.

Oppo: Erith     Score: 4-2

Scorers: Tom L(2), Tom E, Scholesy

Team: Tony – Adam  Matt Tom E  Chef – John  Chris Tonksy Tom L – Scholesy Jake
Subs: Taj  Paul T  Smudger

The Squire was the man in black today, the Gaffer being on a trip to Italy.
An unseasonably warm day for October greeted the players, fortunately both teams had big enough squads to cope. Despite the team talk urging the boys to start quickly we were 0-2 within 10mins, Tom E slipped bringing the ball out leaving the Erith striker to beat Tony with a decent strike, the 2nd followed quickly and another mistake produced the same result. We then took control of the rest of the half, the back 4 were under no pressure, the midfield started to take control and new lad Jake was making telling runs in behind, from a very good move Jake headed the ball across goal and Tom L tapped it in, the second was another Tom E special hammering a 30 yarder that flew past the keeper so at h/t 2-2 and apart from the first 10 mins we were totally in control. At h/t the 2 older 60+ players, Taj and Smudger replaced the 2 younger ones, Tonksy and Chris also, Paul T replaced Scholesy.

We were so on top in the second half that Tony had only one shot to save. Before we finally put the game to rest Paul T and Scholesy both put themselves forward for ‘Miss of the season’, the Erith keeper made two excellent saves and, Jake departed with a tight calf and Adam, after an excellent 60 made way for Chris and Scholesy.  Finally we converted one of our chances when Tom L finished a fine move down the right and Scholesy wrapped it up with a cool finish after yet another good move. An easy win in the end. The match was played in a very good spirit and well controlled by the Squire.

A good turnout in the bar and some lively chat which saw Paul T, Roymond, Adam and Smudge not leaving  around 1530.

Oppo: A. Hill     Score:2-5

Scorers: Chef, Taj

Tony, Matt, Andre, Finchy, Taj, John, Tom E, Tonksy, Scholesy, Paul T, Chef, Troy

Subs: Chris, Jack, Smudge,
Mitch (unused)

We had got together a decent squad for the local derby  even with Smudger and Mitch turning up late!
The Tamps were by far the better side in the first half playing lovely flowing football which put the AH defence under a good deal of pressure, as usual Danny the AH keeper was in commanding form making decent saves, commanding the box and launching goal kicks (AH's main weapon in the first half) The Tamps then had  a fine move from back to front ending with a cool finish from Taj,  we deserved a second but, instead a mistake led to Paa extending his scoring against us! 1-1 we deserved better but, at h/t it was 1 goal each.

We started the 2nd half well and, still had control of the game, another fine move led to Paul T dinking over a great cross which was superbly headed past Danny by Chef, 2-1 and fully deserved. AH then started to get into the game and, Paa equalised with a delicate lob over Tony 2-2. The turning point came when Tamps got a penalty for a push on Chef by Darren, Chris stepped up but, his attempt was high and wide, after this 2 unfortunate mistakes from Finchy led to Paa completing his hat-trick and laying a 4th on for Ish! Heads had dropped and Paa yet again setup Grant for a 5th giving a totally distorted scoreline of 2-5.

There were a lot of ùnhappy Tamps after the game, but it was awards day, Tim and Karen as usual did a sterling job getting it all together, with the beer being supped and the banter flowing the mood was soon lifted and a good afternoon was had by all.
We will beat AH one day!

Cudham   24.09.23. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.

1-2.  (Tom L.)

Team: Tony, Matt, Andre, Finchy, Taj, Chris, Paul G, Tonksy, Baby, Tom L, Richard, Tom E.
(Tim:Ref.)

The Game: 24 hours before kick off we appeared to have a very full squad. Tim felt there was enough depth to save Scholesy making the trip from Whitstable. Then Jon had to pull out due to overnight work commitments. Smudge was ‘oop North’ but others were joining us via Andre, Paul G, and Tom E but then Troy, Lee (work) and A N Other couldn’t make it. With Richard arriving late we played the first 15 minutes with 10. Doyley and Roy were the Linos.

Cudham were much closer to a SuperVets side than they’d been last season but they had particular strengths in defence and in midfield. Their keeper was excellent too. In the first half he made an outstanding save, acrobatically tipping over Taj’s perfectly struck angled volley from the right. His positioning was always good and so Baby’s powerful header caused no difficulty. We’d created the better chances and although Tony had to be quick in the box on a couple of occasions he was the less busy keeper.  0-0 at half time and we’d played some decent stuff playing out of defence well with both Finchy and Matt seeing a lot of the ball and Paul G unaffected by his swollen knee.

Cudham brought on a younger striker- whose name their gaffer didn’t seem to know- for the second half. We would be under more pressure.  By now Baby was struggling with his troublesome hamstring but provided the assist for the opening goal – an absolute cracker- the delivery to Tom L perfect.
Whether Tom was injured at that point wasn’t clear but he soon had to leave the field for good and we had a further 10 minutes plus with 10 men before child minding Tom E could leave his boy and get on the pitch.

The young striker pulled Cudham level with a well placed curler from outside the box on the right. We then lost concentration allowing the midfielder to burst into the area and flick the bouncing ball towards goal. Tony did well to get a hand to it but the player followed up to force the ball home. Cudham created several other opportunities but our defence was strong with Matt making several excellent tackles and interceptions.

At the other end it was Tonksy who came closest to pulling us level.
Having refused the opportunity of a diving header – and the risk of a collision with the excellent and hefty keeper- he threw himself at a cross and the ‘towering’ (his word), looping header was tipped onto the bar – the keeper at full stretch- and scrambled to safety.

A 2-1 defeat and an excellent contest with everyone working hard and focusing well effectively, Chris providing the Tekkers moment with a well executed drag back that even Smudge would have been pleased with.

The Goal: Another early contender or Goal of the Season. Baby’s perfectly directed and weighted 40 yard pass found Tom L free on the right side of goal. His powerful volley had too much force for the keeper who got a hand to it but couldn’t keep it out.

Man of the Day: Matt.  Frequent surges forward, bone shaking tackles, another excellent left footed pass down the line and fine last man cover- all this whilst suffering the trauma of a Chelsea supporter.

In the Bar:  The England Legend banner was up marking Jim’s triumphant return from his International debut. Tonksy revealed himself as, back in the day, a visitor to the club Love Muscle and although we were fewer drinkers than usual we outlasted the Cudham players.

Sunday 17th Sept. Oppo: Erith Vets

Score: 2-1

Scorers: John, Finchy

Team: Moses – Matt, Finchy, Podge sr – Taj, John, Tom L, Paul T, Chris – Pecha, GG
Subs: Smudger, Tommy E

Ref: Podge jr

Another lovely morning for footie, it was Erith’s home game but, due to their lack of numbers Podge jr was in charge, by the time we started they had acquired 2 bodies (friends of Lee G who had come to watch) which got them to 13.

Smudge set the tone with his team talk, introducing our replacement keeper, Moses with the line “Let’s hope our defence doesn’t open up like the red sea” The game itself settled into a familiar patten in this fixture, Tamps controlling the ball, Erith hitting on the break. Their problem was without ‘Speedy Mick’ this tactic didn’t work. The Erith keeper was in fine form and kept us at bay, although, Tamps helped him with poor finishing and overhit final passes. Finally a breakthrough, amazingly it was Erith who went in front, a shot hit Podge sr and fell to one of the players helping out and he curled it into the bottom corner 0-1! We huffed and puffed, had a pen appeal turned down(rightly in my opinion) and came in at h/t 0-1.
No subs at h/t, Tom E was still on kid watch and Smudge was enjoying his stint with the flag.

The 2nd half was much like the first, lots of possessions but no end product, Tom L then needed to come off with a thigh injury and was replaced by Smudger ( a like for like swap!) We were now totally dominating the game and a good passing move ended with Pecha laying the ball off for John to strike, the ball flew into the top left hand corner, a beauty! John had another attempt a few minutes later, this time only the nesting birds in the tree behind the goal were in danger. With 10 mins to go Smudge came off and Tom E entered the fray with Tom L now on kid duty, an eventful 10 they were, we had a penalty taken by Paul T very well saved at full stretch by the keeper, Finchy (again) rose at the far post to bullet in a header 2-1, Chris then shot against the post, Tom E had an excellent strike superbly saved and Erith won a corner in the last minute. In the end we had won 2-1 but made really hard work of it.

We were well represented in the bar after and a few pints of Guinness were consumed.

Cudham next week, always a tough one especially if they have their 30 somethings playing.

Mayfair.  Home – Tennis Court Pitch.   10.09.23.

4 - 7 (Tommy E (2), Richard Pechar , Paul T.)

Team: Tony, Matt, Finchy, Paul G, Smudge, Jon, Steve A, Tommy E, Tonksy, Paul T, Pechar, Chris, Doyley, Mitch, Tom L.    (Tim: Ref.)

The Game:  This was a lot better!    After the previous week’s lacklustre team performance we were keen to play despite the gap in the fixture list. AFC Greenwich were lined up but had to drop out. Mayfair stepped in. We’d never played them and knew little about them other than Smudger had gleaned that they had beaten Bird in Hand in a cup final.  They were clearly a decent outfit  and, as became apparent had some young, as well as more mature talent.
When we eventually persuaded our oppo to leave the shade and start the game they were clearly confident, this showing with calls of ‘Our game!’ and ‘Just two touches!’ Losing possession near halfway Tom E took a touch before opening the scoring from 45 yards; a minute or two gone.The lead didn’t last long but Tom E got us back in front with another cracker : this time a first time drive from 30 yards. However, by the time of the first drinks break- just 15 minutes in we were 3-2 down. Mayfair had played some good stuff linking to a rapid youngster on the right wing and a left footed midfield playmaker but we’d gifted them two goals through defensive errors.
Unlike against Crofton however and with a changed formation reverting to our more usual 3-5-2 we confidently stayed in the game and had levelled things up (4-4) by half time with two more fine finishes from Richard P and Paul T.

We probably deserved better than 3 unanswered second half goals with the game in the balance until the last quarter. We continued to use the ball well and battled strongly throughout but couldn’t shape a clear cut chance. Tony made a couple of excellent saves diving full length to his left to push the shot away and sprinting out to bravely dive at the forwards feet and secure the ball. Doyley was clearly bothered by his calf injury and perhaps should have come off earlier. Mitch enjoyed his first game as a 70 year old. Both teams seemed happy that Tim’s watch accelerated the last few minutes of an entertaining game played on a very hot morning.

The Goals:  All were  excellent and 3 were at least as good as any of the 78 we scored last season.
Tom E got the first two with stunning strikes. Mayfair had played out from the back with their big keeper near the penalty spot watching the move develop.However, under midfield pressure they lost the ball and Tom’s first touch placed the ball to where he could powerfully flight it some 45 yards over the keeper and in. His second was again from distance driven along the ground with real pace into the far corner again leaving the keeper flat footed.

Mayfair showed they were vulnerable at the back and Richard won the ball harrying the defenders. He took it across and past the keeper lined up the covering defender and expertly passed the ball into the net. Paul T’s strike would have been Goal of the Season last year but brilliant though it was, it probably wasn’t goal of the game.  Matt received the ball advancing on the right and with his left foot lofted the ball to fall over the retreating defender. Paul T didn’t look as if he should be able to get there first but he did and not only that he produced, from a very narrow angle at the edge of the area, the perfect volleyed chip over the keeper and in at the far post.
Great goals gents!👏👏👏👏

What they said:
‘I tried to catch it’. Tony on dropping the ball for an unexpected tap in.

‘A little pearler over the top’. Matt on his unexpected left footed assist.

‘I thought it was a penalty’.   Not what you should be saying Finchy just when the Ref had failed to award a spot kick.

‘That was an excellent save given his age’. An opponent compliments Tony???

‘I wasn’t quite ready’. Smudge taking over as Linesman leaving Tim to give a dubious offside.

‘I’m going to eat you, kick your teeth in and kill you’. The oppo centre forward seems to have some anger issues and/ or a significant personality disorder.

Man of the Day:  Mitch. Expertly ran the line and was faultless during his 10 minute cameo-a first appearance as a 70 year old. Excellent foul standing on his opponents foot but apologising fulsomely. 100% pass completion AND bought the drinks.  (Thanks to Doyley too!)

Crofton Home - Tennis Court Pitch 03.09. 23.

1-5 (Finchy)

Team: Tony, Matt, Andre, Baby, Finchy, Taj, Jon, Chris, Scholesy, Paul T, Mike, Smudge.      (Tim: Ref)

The Game:   Could we claim if only…..?      If only Andre hadn’t got injured; if only we had a bigger squad to refresh the team on such a hot, energy sapping day; if only Tony didn’t have to hold  his tracksuit bottoms to stop them falling down; if only Chris had scored the penalty to make it 2-2; if only Al hadn’t popped Smudger’s shoulder so he was somewhat incapacitated.  Hmmm.

Whilst Crofton only ran away with it late on in truth they were the much better side with every player in their expansive squad making a strong contribution ( even if it was employing wrestling strategies in Glen’s case) and with several outstanding performances from the keeper , defenders and midfield.   The goals came fairly late on ( and the third could have been offside with John ahead of both defenders and Al who provided the assist.) but we’d been fortunate not to concede more- benefitting from some glaring misses and with the crossbar saving us on a couple of occasions.
We didn’t provide much in the way of attacking threat with Scholesy having our only second half shot on target from open play.   Mike had a header but found the keeper. Paul T came close from distance in the first half with a long range swerving effort with the keeper out of position and Roy demonstrating that despite a need to look after his heart and his blood pressure he could consistently shout shit from the touchline. It’s the support that counts!! He believes in tough love.

We looked better from set pieces and in addition to Finchy’s first half score Taj looked certain to head home from another excellent Paul T delivery until Dan somehow glanced the ball away. Playing Neil in midfield alongside Simon and Dan gave Crofton  grit, drive and nous. Jon, in particular worked hard but as the game went on we not only lacked energy but we also let our heads drop. We weren’t playing well and we got a little niggly about it. Crofton were on it throughout, had pace on the flanks and strength at the back with Colin and Tom in particular playing exceptionally well.   Not a lot went right for us and Crofton’s superiority was also shown in the keeper’s fine save of Chris’ penalty.

The Goal:  A free kick from our left  was driven in with dip and pace by Paul T, Finchy heading home at the far post. An equaliser and our first goal of the season- perhaps that was as good as it got!

What they said:  ‘ Two falls and one submission!’  A reaction to Scholesy being grappled to the ground.

‘My trousers had fallen down!’ Tony explains why he couldn’t stop their route one goal.

‘Scholesy save your legs! Get close to Mike! ‘ Baby repeatedly encourages  Scholesy to take up a central forward position. The lure of the water bottle on the touchline is, however, too great.

Man of the Day: Smudge.  A splendid professional foul blocking off Dan’s run without causing harm to himself or his opponent. Manfully withstood Tim’s dubious criticism about not covering round from right back for Darren’s goal. Played on despite Big Al’s tug that popped his shoulder. Still enjoyed the Guinness and the subsequent ice block but not the restless night.  (Back on the Astro on Thursday of course!) All this at 66!

27th Aug 23 vs Avery Hill

Score: 0-1

Team: Tony, Matt, Andre, Chef, John, Chris, Tonksy, Smudger, Doyley, GG, Scholesy – Uboat:Dave (Ash)

Yet again we struggled to get a squad out, Big Dave of the Ash gave us 12. Another warm day, lovely pitch and a local Derby to be played out. Smudgers team talk of ‘let’s not start slowly’ fell on deaf ears as we nearly conceded twice in the first 2 mins! Once we settled down it became a very even game, it was nice to have Andre (The Doc to the older Tamps)back in the fold, with Matt and Chef warming to the task we were defending well and playing out from the back. A half of not many chances, Smudge cleared one off the line, AH hit the bar and, The Doc missed from 5 yards when he headed wide from GG’s excellent corner, we trekked off 0-0. Smudge made way for Big Dave for the 2nd half.

Another Smudge team talk fell on stoney ground, the request to mark the new England International, Jim went unheeded and he roamed the pitch linking up all AH’s forward thrusts, one of which saw him lay on the pass for Paa’s winning goal. We huffed and puffed but to no avail. GG worked very hard up front and John did similar mileage in midfield, with 10mins to go Scholesy went lame and Mitch came on to add to his record of oldest Tamp (69). We probably deserved a draw but, alas it was another defeat to AH.
Next week another local Derby vs Crofton, let’s hope a few people are back for that.

A good drink and chat was had in the bar, Andre was happy to be back, Mitch was pleased he managed 10mins and Smudge was left wondering if his team talks were at a pitch only heard by dogs🤔

Charlton Rangers.   Away: Perry Street 20.08.23.

0-3 (Third goal offside. Where have we seen that before?)

Team: Tony, Matt, Tom E, Podge, Jon, Chris, Smudge, Tom L, Graham, Mike, Parr, Tim.

The Game:  And so began another season….. Just 12 players and only 11 when Graham had to leave at half time to get to work. Chris and Smudge had to sweat through the full 90,Podge had to do far more than his calf wanted,  Tom L realised that Super Vets football wasn’t as easy as he thought and Tim got an unexpected half. It could have been worse: Parr- from Avery Hill answering our distress call and playing very well, one shot on the turn clipping the post- covered the late drop outs and a no show from Pecha.
We played some decent football with more penetration in the first half. Jon saw a lot of and made very good use of, the ball on the right setting up several decent chances.   Mike could have put us ahead but  having done the hard work of eluding the defenders and sitting the keeper down he couldn’t find the finish. A decent headed opportunity was mistimed.

Charlton’s first two goals came after 30 minutes with Danny scoring both – the first a finely placed drive from a cutback after a fast break and the second a powerful header from another well delivered corner. His goal celebrations caused some amusement.  It’s Super Vets football Danny.

Tony had kept us in the game with a series of excellent saves and his fantastic work kept the score down. There were several one on one saves, with hands, feet and face, the pick with his chest from Locky. In the second half a fantastic goal line clearance by Matt also saved a seemingly certain goal.

The Ref had a good game – though drinks breaks after 30 minutes seemed strange. He should, however, had called the offside, after the scorer had moved past our defence before the ball had been played.
Overall we gave a good account of ourselves particularly given some age differences but we should have made greater use of Graham on the left though unsurprisingly we continued to go down the right when Tim was on.

Apart from Tony’s saves and Matt’s athleticism the other second half highlight was Chris’ extravagant dummy letting the ball run between his legs in the mistaken belief that a team mate was there.  Perhaps we should wait until September before we start the season?

Quotes:  *‘I want a f***ing red head!’* Charlton Danny as the oppo defended a second half corner.   He didn’t respond to Tim’s suggestion : ‘ Angela Rayner?’.

The Bar: A quiet one as the Fab Five ( Smudge, Chris, Tony, Podge and Tim) made it back to the Roan and the back bar until the disappointed masses left after England Women lost the World Cup.

Man of the Day:  It should be Tony for an outstanding performance but Del nicks it: coming to watch his boy rather than England in a World final.