Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Chef, Dilsy, John, Cookie, Dave, Doyley, Mike, Graham, Dino , Paul T, Smudge. (Tim : Ref; Smudge and Chris : Lino.)
In a Sentence: Eventful, memorable - with at least a decent contribution from everyone involved.
In a Word: Satisfying.
The Game: In a pre-game WhatsApp Matt declared ‘We have a plethora of talented players…’ He was to prove right even though Tom had to pull out and Ryan couldn’t make it. A decent bench of Dino, Smudge and late arrival Paul T would support a strong starting XI even though it would become apparent that Chef’s very late night would have impact whilst John- who still played well- showed some signs of fatigue linking to his newly arrived Grandson; named Zidane there won’t be any pressure on the lad. We’d wisely moved the game from a very muddy Roan to Sam Montagu and the big pitch and decent surface suited our play.
After an even 10 minutes or so the best chance of the game thus far fell to Graham but with the keeper to beat his shot across goal gave the opportunity for a decent save. It was though Graham who broke the deadlock a few minutes later. Chasing back he won the ball from Glen MLC and was able to coast through the defence and finish nonchalantly with a deft chip over the advancing keeper. A fine goal and a deserved lead.
With about half an hour gone Cookie- making a most welcome return to the side and central midfield- watched a long clearance fall to him 5 yards inside our half. He tracked the ball, looked back to the oppo goal, touched the ball into place and stroked a perfectly measured high volley over the keeper’s head, down onto the goal line , to bounce high into the net. General astonishment from players on both sides and an inappropriate but understandable, congratulatory handshake from the Ref. Goal of the Season and 2-0.
We were now playing some good stuff with Baby and Chef controlling and building play from the back using the ever eager Dilsy and the ever enigmatic Doyley on the left and Matt and John on the right hand side- the latter almost scoring with a cross that just skimmed the bar. Cookie and Dave were generally in control in the midfield and Tony had little to do. We might have done better from some well delivered corners from both Dave and Graham but the sense was we’d add to our tally before our lead was reduced. However it was to be 2-1 at the break. Oppo centre forward Matty had shown he could be a threat with his movement, pace and control and after we’d failed for once to use the ball properly and then clear it effectively Matty was able to receive the ball in the box and Chef having tried to chop him down pulled him back and conceded a clear penalty. Matty took it himself and scored well.
At half time Baby sought out the opposition to make appropriate apology for uncharacteristic violence for which he had been sin binned and the message was to get the next goal. Smudge was kept back to control the end game but Paul T and Dino continued in midfield for Doyley and Dave- both covering a lot of ground and making it difficult for Inter to keep possession.
We were indeed going to get the next goal but only after what could be seen as the game’s turning point. Matty was again manhandled by Chef in the box but this time aiming for top bins he hit his spot kick high and wide. Tony had made one excellent save blocking well in a one on one but he wouldn’t be troubled for the rest of the game and could look forward to treating his cold/bug with some post match Morrettis Perhaps it was only coincidence but after Dilsy left we ran away with the game- 3 goals in the last 20 minutes.
First Paul T, who had just steered a first time effort wide of the post latched onto the loose ball after a pass from Matt and finished without fuss. Next Mike, who’d had his own moment of uncontrolled ( and possibly unreasonable) aggression and also failed to convert as he ran in on goal unchallenged powered in a cross shot, (probably just a low hard cross) which deceived everyone, although Doyley claimed he almost got a heel on it, and found the far corner. After an initial show of exuberance Mike did manage to curb his celebration. Having got the first- and now with Smudge on to provide the Elder’s cameo – all 7 passes completed- Graham got our fifth. He received Paul T’s corner just outside the area on the right. He dropped his shoulder once- the nearer defender slipped over, he dropped his shoulder again and almost twisted an ankle, moved the ball out from his feet, looked up and drove the ball into the net- not quite, but close to, top bins.
A pleasing performance with a lot of decent football – with an amusing running commentary from Glen ( He’s a qualified Ref you know.) and with Tony claiming a clean sheet from open play and Chris continuing his recuperation with time running the Line. Well done all! In the Bar. A very fine session- courtesy of birthday drinks from Roy and to celebrate Zidane’s birth, drinks too, from first time Grandad – John- the player formerly known as our youth policy. We look forward to seeing Graham’s new (he scoured websites for the cheapest option new Adidas boots – they’re white!!😂😂😂😂.
What they Said: ‘Matt! Take that box off your head!’ The ball screwed into touch. (At least Mike’s and Cookie’s headers went roughly in the right direction even though they were well off target.
‘Muggy little c**t!’ ‘Ryan would have scored that.’ Tim- on John’s cross that almost found the net.
Charlton Rangers – Home – 9/11/25
Score: 2-4
Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Asbo, Simon, Tom C, Jon, Dave Ryan, Dino, Paul T Subs Smudger, Doyley, Chris, Dan
In a sentence: The oppo are like policeman, they all seem to be getting younger….
In a word: Gritty
After a two week break it was back to the Roan for a clash with Charlton Rangers who it was rumoured were going to field a youthful team.This was confirmed by a quick glance across the centre circle as both squads observed the traditional 1 minute silence for Armistice Sunday.
We lost Mike to illness on the morning, and Doyley turned up looking tired and complaining that cows had broken onto his land had kept him awake all night. The life of the landed gentry is not an easy one. It was great to have Chris back in the fold after his illness, though murmurings that he’d only made an appearance to collect the subs in Roy’s absence to benefit his retirement fund were perhaps harsh. He stepped up and ran the line with aplomb, which will help get him get match fit for the long season ahead. The game kicked off and it would seem that the break had left us unable to pass to a team mate which played nicely into the hands of the oppo who were fielding a 26 year old, 32 year old and several others who would be in danger of being asked for ID when buying a packet of fags. We soon found ourselves three down with one goal coming from a great assist by Tony who parried the ball into Tall Danny’s path for a tap in. He went on to claim a first half hat-trick.
After giving ourselves a steep hill to climb we tweaked the formation and Dan (who had arrived late on account of Ryan expecting him to use a crystal ball to ascertain where and when the game was being played) came on for Simon and the Tamps managed to start to play some better football with Ryan and Tom causing problems on either wing and Jon and Dave battling manfully in the middle of the park with their considerably younger opposite numbers. That said, we were lucky not to fall further behind, and only an (uncharacteristically) well timed challenge from Matt denying Charlton the chance to increase their lead. Dino was working hard up front, and surviving on scraps as despite having more of the play we struggled to create any clear cut chances. A stroke of genius was required to get us a foothold in the game, but we had to settle for a fluke. Some good linkup play found Ryan out on the right wing from where he swung in a ball that found it’s way over the keepers head and into the back of the onion bag. They all count, and we were happy to go into the break at 1-3.
Changes were made at half time with Dave coming off for Doyley and the game followed a similar pattern to the first with the Tamps having more possession and better use of the ball without really working the keeper. Dan pulled up with a calf injury early doors meaning a return to action for Doyley, and another change of formation with Matt and Baby at centre half and Simon and Tom at full back. Charlton still posed a danger, but were kept out with some great one-on-one saves by Tony to keep us in the game, that was until Baby managed to play a neat one two, smashing the ball against Tony when trying to clear with the ball falling kindly to Zach for an easy tap in to make it 1-4.
It was against the run of play, and unfair on the Tamps who’d battled well and who still refused to give up. Jon was his usual busy self in the middle of the park, and managed to upset the Charlton cemtre half when challenging robustly for the ball leaving him squealing that Jon had gone over the top. Shame. Utility man Asbo had played in three different positions and made way for Dave’s fresh(er) legs. There was late drama when Andy (the Charlton Manager) bought himself on for what he thought would be a gentle lap of honour, only to immediately give a penalty away when challenging a surprisingly sprightly Doyley who had got in front of his man and was arrowing into the box. A clear cut decision, accepted by most, but not Andy who remonstrated ‘vociferously’ and threateningly which amplified after Tim called him a stupid little man. Andy was again restrained by team mates and his unjustified rage showed in an unrepentant text or five that evening for good measure). Paul T stepped up to cooly despatch the penalty, giving the scoreline a more respectable sheen. 2-4, which given the disparity in the ages of the squads, wasn’t the worst scoreline.
What they said:
I’ll go if you want to! – Baby to Andy at the final whistle. He wisely declined.
Belvedere away 19/10/25
Score: 2-2 (Mike 2)
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Dan (guest), Mick (guest), Jon, Podge, Dave Ryan, Mike, Doyley Subs: Simon, Tonksy
In a sentence: A draw not what we’d normally expect against Belvedere ( a direct quote from Tim, and he’d be right )
In a word: Battling
A trip to Belvedere is not one for the purist, as demonstrated by Podger’s ‘Can I change my mind ( about playing )’ when he found out where the fixture was. No you can’t, came the answer. The pitch was unsurprisingly still on a steep gradient, but now had the added bonus of being dryer than Gandhi’s flip flop with very little grass on it, which made the perfect excuse for Matt’s non existent first touch it difficult for the Tamps usual champagne football.
The first half started with the Tamps choosing to start the game facing up hill and they were soon to be looking down at their boots having conceded a goal in the first minute, when a corner wasn’t cleared and the ball was lashed home by a Belvedere midfielder. Not the start we were hoping for.
The Tamps huffed and puffed but couldn’t seem to get their game going, and fell further behind on 15 minutes when Russ, briefly of this parish but now playing up top for Belvedere rose unmarked to head home for 2-0. Had to be him. The smallest bloke on the pitch too. Some exclamations of ‘who the fuck was marking him?!?’ followed by the restart of the game. Belvedere had the chance to go further in front but thankfully Russ passed ( forward ) to his team mate when he was well placed to slot home for the third, and the ref blew for offside. Jon who had put in a shift in the engine room took a breather with ten minutes of the half to go with the evergreen Tonksy taking his place. The Tamps managed to stem the tide and started to grow into the game. The breakthrough came when Ryan won a header, which Mike controlled on his chest and then volleyed into the net over the keeper who he had spotted off his line. His celebration was deemed to be exuberant, but perhaps understandable given the pressure of the ‘we can’t lose to this mob’ chat prior to kick off. 1-2 at the break and game on.
Changes were made at half time with Little Dave who’d been industrious making way and Simon coming on at left back and Mick pushing into midfield. The Tamps started to control the game and Tony had little to do whilst uncharacteristically distributing the ball well and also dealing comfortably with the couple of chances that Belvedere managed to fashion. Dan and Paul G were starting to dominate at centre back giving little away and Simon was linking well with Mick on the left. This combination led to a chance, with Mick crossing the ball only for Mike to place his header wide when he could have perhaps done better. Podge and Tonksy were now marshalling the middle of the park and Belvedere were on the back foot. There was some nice play on the left hand side and Mick again crosses to Mike, who this time made no mistake, sweeping the ball with his left peg into the bottom right hand corner. 2-2 and the Tamps had a reward for all their improved play.
With 25 minutes to go Podge who was blowing out of his arse after making his ( long awaited ) return made way for Jon and Dave came on up front for Doyley, who’d battled well, but hadn’t notched his usual goal against Belvedere. He only flicked the ball to nobody in particular once, which was a welcome improvement.
The Tamps were having the better of the game, and Ryan was giving their left back nightmares, but we couldn’t quite force the winner.
A draw wasn’t the result we perhaps expected, but given we were 2-0 and fought back to a draw on a terrible surface can only be a positive.
In keeping with the rest of the ‘facilities’ on offer at Belvedere the bar was closed, so our intrepid heroes decamped to the Royal Standard in Nuxley village for a couple of pints, happy that we had put the last couple of results behind us.
What they said:
Let’s hope they put some windows in, it looks like a concentration camp – Tonksy on the upcoming refurbishments to the Belvedere club house.
Have you seen baby’s arse on Facebook? – Mike talking about the Titanicesque picture of baby on the front of a narrow boat, sans undercrackers.
I’m not going back to the club with Podge, that’s dangerous – Mike perhaps admitting that his will power might not be strong enough to stop him getting drawn into a prolonged drinking session…
Santos away 12/10/25
Score: 7-1
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Baby, Simon, Tom, Dave, Paul T, Ryan, Doyely, Mike Subs Madi, GG, Jim Guest )
In word: Painful
In a sentence: Not our finest hour…
The feeling going into this game was that it would be tough game for the Tamps, with just the 13 players to pick from at kick off ( with Ryan’s mate Jim arriving later and Ryan himself somewhat hungover. ) and some of the youth team still unavailable for selection, and so it turned out to be.
The Santos team had a youthful look about it, which either means that at least half of them have regimented skincare routines allayed with good genes, or perhaps that many of them were under the age of 40. This had a bearing on the game, with the Tamps getting caught out on a regular basis by balls over the top which we struggled to deal with.
By half time we were 3-0 down, with it all to do in the second half. Changes were made with Jim, Madi and GG coming on for Doyley, Paul G and Ryan and the Tamps had the better of the opening 20 minutes of the second half, only to fall 4-0 behind to a sucker-punch goal. This seemed to knock the stuffing out of the Tamps, and another 3 goals were added to the tally in the next 20 minutes.
After the 7th had been put away by Santos, Jim was poised in the centre circle for the kick off, and proceeded to lob Erith Mick in the Santos goal with an audacious effort, which gave some late cheer to the otherwise deflated Tamps. We had created a few chances before this but weren’t clinical enough in front of goal. Graham had looked our most likely scorer but he managed only to find the underside of the bar from close range and only the keeper to beat- the ball bouncing to safety.
We didn’t play anywhere as well as we can, but a young Santos team are a tough nut to crack. With players returning to the fold in the coming weeks the next win is on the horizon.
What they said GG to Baby / Matt: No reflection on you, but we were all over the place ( he may have had a point ).
A fairly decent showing in the bar afterwards to drown our sorrows and Tim particularly demob happy as he was off to Italy the following day. Baby too, was happy to be getting away; off to the Broads we feared for the Norfolk wildlife.
Erith - 05/10/25
Score: 0 -1
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Baby, Dilsy, Tom, Jon, Paul T, Dave, GG, Mike Subs Chef, Si, Doyley. ( Tonksy: unused.) Tim ( Ref.)
In a sentence: (Paul G’s words) Much improved on last time out against them.
A fairly tense affair from start to finish, both teams keeping the ball well, although Erith pushed harder in the first half creating more than we did. Newly crowned Player of the year, Tony, made some good saves against their very busy CF, who came out worse in a clash with Paul G and had to leave the pitch for a while .
As the first half wore one we started to press further up the pitch and applied pressure, resulting in corners and some half chances. 0-0 half time, fag paper between the sides .
The second half started much the same as the first half with Tamps the team starting on the front foot. Changes were made, GG off to the Palace get his OBE from the King , Doyley moved up top with Mike , and Chef into right midfield- not his preferred position and unfortunately this showed in a sulky and petulant performance when he’s capable of much better.
Then the goal to decide the game,Tamps on the front foot - Doyley receiving the ball with his back to goal inside Erith’s half, heard the call from Mike to his right and attempted the no look back heel. It was intercepted and to be fair - a really good pass through to the CF who finished it nicely giving Tony no chance though he almost got to it. The last twenty mins saw Tamps knocking on the door but with no answer.
Then the controversial moment. Erith Danny - the young one on the right who was now recovered from a fierce ball into his nether regions, was put through and took out Baby - savagely some might say. Erith celebrated, Tamps appealed. Tim took his time and made the right call. Cue rage from some in yellow and the remaining minutes played out with continuing moaning about the decision.
Three or four corners and balls on top of the defence and keeper just couldn’t break them down. Paul G had a couple of half chance headers in the first half and Mike had one late on that he might have done better with. With minutes to go another corner and a half clearance was anticipated by Paul T. His perfectly timed and directed flick volley looked as if it was providing the equaliser but the young spring heeled keeper was good enough to tip it out from under and over the crossbar. A draw would not have been undeserved.
Frustrations soon forgotten with the awards and pints - great to have everyone in the clubhouse together for a while (with The Squire present for the first time in a while) - with most of those present receiving at least one nomination in the 2024-5 End of Season Awards. Mike was able to find a match missing from the stats which just happened to be when he’d scored 4 of our 6 goals.
A special mention to Chris - was lovely to see him back and once all pleasantries were over, the usual banter applied once again.
We go again next week. What they said: Baby “F**king hell Doyley that’s shit!”
Tom, “Have I got aids today as no one is passing to me in space?” (Yes mate I heard it!)
Smudge “From what I saw it was all us.”
Gaffer 1 and gaffer 2 “Bear with us as it will all work itself out over the next few weeks and we shout at everyone.” Under new management!
Richard ( Erith manager) ‘Dreadful challenge! A Yellow card at least!’ - after providing treatment to his forward injured in the coming together with Paul G. Tim to Erith Linesman Clive. “Several young players there Clive. 3-4 in their 30s?” Clive: “It’s 501 total age though isn’t it?” “501- yes- but with all players 45 or over for Super Vets mate!”
Oppo: Avery Hill
Score 4-2
SCORERS: Mick, Dino, Doyley Tom(p)
Squad: Tony Matt Paul G Mick Ryan Jon Tom C Little Dave Madi Dino Doyley Mike Dan Simon Dilsy GG + Smudger (Sub for AH)
In a word: Competitive
In a sentence: A deserved win in the end.
Matt had a restless nights sleep, would all 17 turn up? 3 at the back or 4? The joys of management. Everyone did turn up, eventually, Dilsy getting there to play the last 20mins. 3 at the back was abandoned after 20mins when we found ourselves 0-2 behind, a flukey one from Grant and, a cracker from Ish – unfortunately Ish left the field 10mins later to be replaced by Smudger, AH only had 11 and Smudge volunteered to play for them. Was it the turning point? Probably not, Big Dave from Inter Vyagra helped out in goal and after having not made a save dropped 2 balls straight to Tamps forwards, Mick stabbed in the first and Dino the second, a combined yardage of 2. H/T and its 2-2. A lot of verbal in the 1st half mainly from Rob and Johnny from AH, Rob squared up to Paul G at one point but only words were traded rather than fists.
The 2nd half was mostly the Tamps on the front foot, due to the number of players we had there were numerous substitutions, both the new guys, Dan and Mick (Another one!) did well. The 3rd goal was a pen from Tom C, Mike who was giving Mad Dave a torrid time eventually forced him into a rash challenge, penalty! Tom beat the keeper with ease, Mike did have a contender for ‘miss of the season’ when failing to hit the target from 2 yards (A yard too far as he’s deadly from 1). Tamps still had time for a 4th when Doyley pounced on another Dave fumble to head home from 2 yards (Mike take note). Rob managed to get into another case of the verbals with Dilsy, not wise! In the end it looked a comftable win, Tony not having a shot to save in the 2nd half.
Onto next week and Erith, we owe them – its also awards week, can’t wait.
Things that were said:
Johnny – Get off you bald c..t, F..k off you fat c..t, Just fuck off You get the gist Just shut up Santa – Paul G to Rob Madi get back – Roy on numerous occasions
Erith. Away at Home. Tennis Court Pitch. 14.09.25.
1-5. (Steve A.)
Team: Moises, Steve A, Matt, Baby, Simon, Michael, Dave, Paul G, Doyley, Russ, Paul T, Madi, Tonksy, Smudger, Graham. (Tim: ‘Guest’ Ref.)
The Game: Pre-Season, at Jim and Lyndsey’s anniversary bash Richard, Erith’s manager had looked rather smug when asked if he had a good squad for 2025-26. His reply was to smile and say ‘Yes’- with no further elaboration, other than a telling twinkle.
There were many familiar faces in the Erith team but this was a Mixed Age squad and they proved too strong for the Tamps – especially in the first half- with usmissing some key players to injury, a charity game and warm weather training.
Matt’s planned starting XI had to be rejigged following a late drop out ( John) and late arrival ( Madi). Smudge’s WhatsApp assertion that ‘ we’d still have enough to beat Erith’ was too prove a little optimistic.
Erith had pace and numbers in midfield and they enjoyed plentiful and purposeful possession. Joe up front was to get two before half time giving Moises, guesting in goal, no chance, first beating the offside trap and then capitalising on a defensive error. Even with Paul T dropping back we were still being overrun in midfield and Erith grabbed another goal through a swift counter attack after we’d lost possession on the edge of their area.
Moises made a great diving save to palm away what seemed a certain goal bound effort but could only push out Evergreen Brian’s shot as another Erith long throw produced a further opportunity. Brian was quickest to the loose ball and gleefully smashed home his first goal since the last days of the Blair government. 4-0 down at half time and we’d barely threatened. Russ worked hard as target man and had some good interchanges with Michael on the right. Dave had worked tirelessly on the centre of the park and suffered several fouls as well as being dispossessed by some robust but fair challenges. We’d had some good delivery from corners but change was needed for the second half.
The new management secured this change with Paul G dropping into the centre of a 3 with Matt right and Baby left. Steve A was able to get into the game more going forward and we looked more competitive. Unfortunately Erith extended their lead as despite some great cover work by Simon the ball broke for Young Joe to complete his hat trick.
This was arguably against the run of play and we were the stronger side for the rest of the game. Steve A was able to latch on to Paul T’s diagonal ball, round the full back, beating the keeper from the narrowest of angles to cries of ‘ Van Basten’. (Some felt it was a cross that powered its way into the roof of the net…). Perhaps surprisingly it was when our older players: Smudge and Tonksy came on that we controlled the game more - with Graham also adding his skill (a fine back heel and a decent flick or two) and mobility.
The Erith keeper had more to do, forced to push a cross onto the bar and then react quickly when Madi just failed to chest the rebound over the line. Matt had a firm header that just missed the target but a free kick in a promising position and the ‘Big Men’ up was wasted with Dave shooting when a cross could have led to more.Smudge’s dummy and drag back saw the Erith midfielder surging some 10 yards past the ball and although it was a heavy defeat after a poor first 45 we’d given a much better account of ourselves in the second period. Last goal wins?
Post Match.
A decent turn out in the bar with laughter as we recalled Baby’s slip and full length backward fall . Avery Hill journey tried to find a £400 Smart Watch that was supposedly somewhere in the Clubhouse. (It was later found in the owner’s bag). Annnabelle helpfully said : ‘I’ll strip search everyone’. Graham made no comment but several men looked eager and ready.
Lads of the Village. Home. Tennis Courts Pitch 07.09.24
Team: Dangerous Dave, Dessie (both AH), Chef, Matt, Steve A, Paul T, Little Dave, Doyley, Ryan, Sharpie, Lee,
Subs: Tom E, John, Dino, Madi (guest),
In a word: Satisfying
In a sentence: Revenge is a dish best served cold
A lovely morning for football with the sun shining and we'd had a bit of rain in the week to soften the pitches to help with the Tamps 'silky' style of play. Matt stepped in as interim manager as the Gaffers were away on their holibobs. The responsibility was clearly weighing heavy on his shoulders and his arsehole seemed to be going like a catflap in the wind as he wrestled with picking a team from a squad comprising of two AH players ( Dessie and Dangerous Dave ), two new guest players ( Lee and Madi ) and an 'emotional' Dino. Matters weren't helped by a no-show from Mike and John getting stuck on the other side of the Blackwall Tunnel causing him to miss kick-off. It also dawned on us that ours and the oppositions kits were strikingly similar. Luckily Dessie rode to the rescue with the AH kit.
The first half started and it was evident that the all new back four needed to quickly find their rythm as Lads of the Village started quite strongly, bringing some solid defending which reduced Chef's workload. He did make a couple of smart stops to keep us all square. The midfield four of Dave, Dave, Dessie and Ryan took a foothold in the game and we created more chances to score at the other end, but sometimes overplayed it and looked for a pass when perhaps we could have pulled the trigger to test their 'keeper. Roy who was refereeing had to deal with several of their man-babies whining about not getting decisions, frequently repeating their protests until he suggested that if they didn't like it, they could fuck off. It was all sqaure at the break, with us having the best of the game so far.
The 'interim' Gaffer made changes at half time and Madi came on for his debut replacing Dessie on the left wing, Dino on for Doyley up front and John coming into the engine room for Dangerous Dave who'd put in a real shift. Fresh legs and the disparate band of players starting to gel found the Tamps starting to take a hold of the game, creating chances that needed to be taken if they were not to regret it by getting hit with a sucker punch.
The breakthrough came early in the second half when a lofted ball from right back found Sharpie, who brought it down and made for the penalty area. The defender had no way of stopping him other than trying to hitch a piggy back, and Dessie ( who had taken over the ref'ing from Roy at half time ) blew his whistle and pointed to the spot. A water break was taken, and on the resumption of play a nerveless Paul T desptached the ball high and handsome into the top of the net. 1-0 to the Tamps. The second goal wasn't far behind, and after good work on the right by Sharpie the ball was crossed low and hard where Dino was in the right place at the right time to tap home from close range for 2-0. The Tamps were looking comfortable, and further chages were made to get fresh legs on with Tom E coming in for Little Dave who'd had another great game. As ever when we seem to be in full control we conceded a goal in the 70th minute, which was well worked and taken though the Tamps defence had perhaps wandered too far forward in the search for a killer 3rd goal, leaving gaps that they exploited well. 2-1. The Tamps needn't have worried as good work down the left from Madi saw the ball being cut back to the onrushing Tom E who flicked it up and depsatched a crisp finish on the half volley to make it 3-1. The Tamps saw it through comfortably from that point, even with the four up top they'd deployed in desparation. A good win, with everyone playing their part. Special thanks to Dessie and Dangerous Dave for playing / supplying the kit and Roy for ref'ing and supplying the food..
In a word: profligate… A strong team, both in quality and numbers (sixteen!) – the usual late cry-offs being limited to Mike; already drinking to forget West Ham’s abysmal start to the season.
Tamps kicked off playing towards the main road – a blustery wind blowing across the pitch from their right hand side. This would become significant over the course of the game.
For the first 20 minutes Tamps were more than comfortable. Chances were made with quick passing, the best of which saw Sharpey running through in the inside right channel, and Jamie in Crofton’s goal making an excellent double stop. Crofton’s efforts were restricted to long range tries – Tony making a finger-tip save from an awkwardly bouncing shot from Ross on the right.
Corners were proving difficult to defend for both teams – the wind meaning no-one was sure how the ball would fly. Tamps had already gone close from one corner – Cookie heading over on that occasion, but a subsequent corner from Dave on the right was met by Chef for the lead.
Sharpey and Jamie continued their duel; Tamps forward again breaking through, twisting to make room for a shot, and the keeper again making a good save.
As usual, Tamps strong play inevitably began to wane – play became sloppy and Crofton were starting to stretch the defence on the back of wayward passing. Crofton equalised in the most bizarre fashion. The ball was given away in midfield, and Crofton’s Danny surged forward. At the edge of the penalty area he was met by Baby with a robust challenge – was it a penalty or just outside the box? Graham decided neither and waved play-on. Crofton had just started their complaints when Chef helpfully through the ball back to Graham. Unfortunately as he was not in goal Graham could do nothing but give a penalty. Chef made his case, stating that he’d heard a whistle – this turned out to be on the other pitch. Big Al smashed the kick high into the net – Tony’s valiant dive to naught.
Dino came on for Tom, with Doyley moving to the left-hand side of midfield. This almost immediately resulted in Tamps second goal.
Again winning a corner on the right, Dave this time found Dino at the near post, his header pinballing back off a defender onto his head and in. Jon replaced Dave in central midfield. The score remained 2-1 until half-time.
More changes at half-time – Tom replacing Doyley, and Crofton also making a number of changes. Crofton started playing more direct, but were reliant on long throws as their main point of attack. This was generally dealt with comfortably, and the second half settled into a similar pattern as the first – Tamps generally controlling the play without really making chances. Dillsy and Neil came head-to-head after the latter took a swipe at the formers ankles ‘There’s only one winner there…’ Smudge commented. Big Al replaced Jamie in goal for Crofton, and was soon picking the ball out the net – Sharpey’s constant running eventually getting the goal his play deserved. He was almost immediately replaced by Doyley. Podge senior replaced Baby – Tom almost made it 4, running onto a through ball, his lob over the keeper landed almost on the goal-line but somehow bounced over. Then, Crofton pulled a goal back. Another throw from the left of the box was allowed to bounce, and Danny ran across the face of goal before finding the corner of the net.
Baby came back on for Dillsy , and made the score 4-2, with an early contender for Goal Of The Season. A smart move down the right, with crisp one touch passing, a pull back to the edge of the box, Baby striding onto the ball to shoot powerfully in at the near post, Big Al going down in installments Crofton never looked like coming back, restricted to a couple of speculative efforts – one well-struck volley never close enough to bother Tony.
MoM: According to Roy – Chef. Chef unsurprisingly agreed
Things they said: ‘I heard a whistle…’ Chef makes his excuses
‘It wasn’t me, it wasn’t me…’ GG ensures no-one else makes a faux pas, making it clear he hadn’t blown.
‘Graham, water the fucking pitch…’ Podge Sr let’s out his frustration after Tom’s near-miss
In the bar: Diet Coke in plastic glasses. What is this club coming to..?
‘No…’ Avery Hill’s Des finds out that the Podger boys are in fact brothers Feast or famine - we’re already missing eight for next week…
The Game: As Charlton Rangers, ‘running scared’, pulled out of the previous Sunday’s game this was our opening fixture of the new season. It was an excellent performance by all.
Key features were the strength of both defences meaning clear goal scoring opportunities were rare, the unstinting long ball game by Avery Hill repeatedly bypassing their bemused ball playing midfielders, the repeated offsides by the oppo forwards particularly Angry Paul and the consistency, commitment and drive of every one of our players. The result was an impressive contest in which we were clearly the more constructive, creative and deserving side.
Each keeper made excellent saves in the first half. Tony was out quickly to block Paul as he surged into the area unattended. Tony also survived a ball almost bouncing over him into the goal.At the other end Sharpy drew a fine diving save from Danny to push his curling drive around the post. Russ went close for us and Steve H reffing blew for offside before Togsy put the ball In the net.
We opened the scoring with a good goal that characterised our general play. Avery had very little time on the ball and our pressing often won possession. When this happened again our build up play on the right found John free to put the perfect cross to the far post where the unmarked Cookie nodded home.Dave’s excellent corners and free kicks allowed us to threaten but we couldn’t get that second goal.1-0 at half time with Michael suffering a nasty shoulder injury. He was to bravely play on for the remainder of the game, still making important challenges.
We looked comfortable in defence Chef winning some strong headers, Baby reading the game well to intercept passes and Simon and Matt secure at full back and both getting forward frequently. Apart from dodgy dead ball clearances by Baby, one a potential 50th birthday present to Par who put his shot wide, we played well out of defence and made greater use of Cookie to develop our attacks.
Avery were becoming more of a threat as they made greater use of Jack on their right, we became more fatigued and their forwards were more careful about staying onside.
Their equaliser came when for once we didn’t clear our lines well. Paul was played in and was onside. He gave Tony no chance with a composed finish. He could also have scored sliding in at the far post narrowly failing to connect with Jack’s shot. Chef also had to make the defensive intervention of the day clearing the ball off the toes of the forward and also ensuring Matt didn’t notch an own goal.
Sharpy was frustrated having been kicked several times and his boot coming off when the Ref didn’t blow and we suffered further frustration as we pressed for a winner. Sharpy came close to setting Russ up after some good build up. Baby’s long pass freed Cookie to reach the byline and drive an excellent cross that beat the keeper but couldn’t find a forward. Cookie then had a fine shot pushed out by Danny but again the ball didn’t break for us. We had played well throughout and probably had deserved a winner.
‘I only touched the ball 3 times and one of those was a ricochet!’ Stuart not pleased with his team’s long ball game. ‘Cheat!’ ‘You put your flag up all the time!’ Josh obviously knows best from his right back slot. Thanks to Roy for channeling his inner Trump for a second term as Treasurer. Thanks to Chris for his work on this and best wishes for a speedy recovery and escape from hospital.
