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Match Reports
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Match ReportsEnd of Season showpiece: Crofton .
Played at Welling United. 11.05.17
Won: 4-2. (Graham, Podge, Steve D, Taj.)
Craig, Steve R, Taj, Graham, John, Smudge, Steve L, Podge, Scholesy, Steve D, Roy, Chris, Tim.
Goal of the Game: Good Graham received a sublime pass from Smudge, ignored Scholesy, cut inside one player then noticed the keeper off his line, anticipating a cross.
Taking careful aim he hit a perfectly judged drive that found the far corner. The crowd in the adjacent stand gasped : pure class.
Captain’s Pick : (Roy’s choice again- even though Captain Chris was there- again.)
Taj- solid as ever and popped up to secure the victory and end Crofton’s late resistance to finish off another good team move with a clinical strike from 35 inches- having run the length of the pitch to be in the right place at the right time.
Roy rightly recognised other outstanding performances from Graham- shame about the mistake for their first goal, Podge, dominant in midfield, covering every blade of grass and pile of sand, and stroking home our second- shame about the drive against the bar from close range when we were still looking to open the scoring and Steve L- despite being the oldest on the pitch, giving a masterclass in possession football whilst getting stuck in and being a vital hub for our effective passing- shame about the failed nutmegs (4) and the squealy, unmanly dive in their box,
Mark’s Man: A twenty minute overview on the line: 3 goals, an offside overruled, a goal from Steve D, Roy’s mazy run……spoiled for choice. Roy’s mazy run took him past 5 or 6 defenders- and some of them more than once- breaking into the box he cut in from the byline and found his goal machine partner with a well judged pass: Steve D calmly firing home with his right foot.
Mark – jetting in from Berlin missed earlier impressive runs by Good Graham- several, to set up a number of (missed) chances and Scholesy who momentarily stopped moaning that nobody was passing to him, we were all crap , people didn't look up, why wasn't he appreciated as the Club Legend (in his own lunchtime ) that he was, even as far and away the most skilful player on the pitch he was getting no protection from the Ref,Steve D in particular was useless, why were his and Chris’s children laughing at him, why were his team mates losing the will to live etc.etc.- to embark on a good run which inevitably ended with him looking for a penalty. ( Great to see him back after ‘injury’.)
OSCDT: We knocked the ball around well generally playing it short and moving the ball on effectively with some good longer passes from Smudge and Graham. However, the award goes to Steve L: late in the game still showing his class, disguising his intention with a drop of his shoulder as he swept the ball behind the last defender with perfect weight for John to surge onto and again set up a good opportunity from the right.
Top Tackle: Chris: having been moved back into defence from his midfield roving getting across to cover on the left and winning another ball where he was second favourite- sadly his groin gave way again shortly after.
Quotes and Moments:
‘Get up you little c***!!’ and ‘If you want it that badly you can have it!’ – the oppo’s friendly banter with Steve L.
‘Did you mean that?’ – at least one team mate questions Graham over his goal.
‘I'm giving it – there’s only 4 minutes left.’ Aggro overrules his Lino , subsequently confirming in the changing room that ‘It ( their second goal )was offside’.
‘Get on the weights!’ Crofton Stuart suggests that we ( Steve L, Scholesy) are going down too easily.
‘He’s playing like there’s a scout in the stands.’ A cynical assessment of Scholesy’s performance.
After a mixed start we were dominant in the first half with custodian Craig having little to do except put the occasional goal kick into touch. 2-0 at half time was perhaps a below par return giving the chances we created. For Crofton ( and for us) a highlight was Jim nutmegging Scholesy. Our defence was strong and Crofton seemed hesitant even when there was a rare opportunity to shoot.
The second half was a much closer contest as Crofton used their huge squad to good effect- although it was uncharacteristic mistakes when in possession that led to both their goals. Fortunately our quality showed with immediate retaliatory strikes coming from Steve D and Taj adding to first half goals from Graham and Podge. 4-2 – a fair result and score but Crofton fought back well.
A very enjoyable occasion with much to banter about – including Roy’s late departure from the game having given his all, Scholesy actually being given a free kick by Aggro and Tim producing Crofton’s most dangerous strike from distance clearing the ball from the feet of the centre (XXXL) forward. Some okay bottled beer in the bar too.
Played at Welling United. 11.05.17
Won: 4-2. (Graham, Podge, Steve D, Taj.)
Craig, Steve R, Taj, Graham, John, Smudge, Steve L, Podge, Scholesy, Steve D, Roy, Chris, Tim.
Goal of the Game: Good Graham received a sublime pass from Smudge, ignored Scholesy, cut inside one player then noticed the keeper off his line, anticipating a cross.
Taking careful aim he hit a perfectly judged drive that found the far corner. The crowd in the adjacent stand gasped : pure class.
Captain’s Pick : (Roy’s choice again- even though Captain Chris was there- again.)
Taj- solid as ever and popped up to secure the victory and end Crofton’s late resistance to finish off another good team move with a clinical strike from 35 inches- having run the length of the pitch to be in the right place at the right time.
Roy rightly recognised other outstanding performances from Graham- shame about the mistake for their first goal, Podge, dominant in midfield, covering every blade of grass and pile of sand, and stroking home our second- shame about the drive against the bar from close range when we were still looking to open the scoring and Steve L- despite being the oldest on the pitch, giving a masterclass in possession football whilst getting stuck in and being a vital hub for our effective passing- shame about the failed nutmegs (4) and the squealy, unmanly dive in their box,
Mark’s Man: A twenty minute overview on the line: 3 goals, an offside overruled, a goal from Steve D, Roy’s mazy run……spoiled for choice. Roy’s mazy run took him past 5 or 6 defenders- and some of them more than once- breaking into the box he cut in from the byline and found his goal machine partner with a well judged pass: Steve D calmly firing home with his right foot.
Mark – jetting in from Berlin missed earlier impressive runs by Good Graham- several, to set up a number of (missed) chances and Scholesy who momentarily stopped moaning that nobody was passing to him, we were all crap , people didn't look up, why wasn't he appreciated as the Club Legend (in his own lunchtime ) that he was, even as far and away the most skilful player on the pitch he was getting no protection from the Ref,Steve D in particular was useless, why were his and Chris’s children laughing at him, why were his team mates losing the will to live etc.etc.- to embark on a good run which inevitably ended with him looking for a penalty. ( Great to see him back after ‘injury’.)
OSCDT: We knocked the ball around well generally playing it short and moving the ball on effectively with some good longer passes from Smudge and Graham. However, the award goes to Steve L: late in the game still showing his class, disguising his intention with a drop of his shoulder as he swept the ball behind the last defender with perfect weight for John to surge onto and again set up a good opportunity from the right.
Top Tackle: Chris: having been moved back into defence from his midfield roving getting across to cover on the left and winning another ball where he was second favourite- sadly his groin gave way again shortly after.
Quotes and Moments:
‘Get up you little c***!!’ and ‘If you want it that badly you can have it!’ – the oppo’s friendly banter with Steve L.
‘Did you mean that?’ – at least one team mate questions Graham over his goal.
‘I'm giving it – there’s only 4 minutes left.’ Aggro overrules his Lino , subsequently confirming in the changing room that ‘It ( their second goal )was offside’.
‘Get on the weights!’ Crofton Stuart suggests that we ( Steve L, Scholesy) are going down too easily.
‘He’s playing like there’s a scout in the stands.’ A cynical assessment of Scholesy’s performance.
After a mixed start we were dominant in the first half with custodian Craig having little to do except put the occasional goal kick into touch. 2-0 at half time was perhaps a below par return giving the chances we created. For Crofton ( and for us) a highlight was Jim nutmegging Scholesy. Our defence was strong and Crofton seemed hesitant even when there was a rare opportunity to shoot.
The second half was a much closer contest as Crofton used their huge squad to good effect- although it was uncharacteristic mistakes when in possession that led to both their goals. Fortunately our quality showed with immediate retaliatory strikes coming from Steve D and Taj adding to first half goals from Graham and Podge. 4-2 – a fair result and score but Crofton fought back well.
A very enjoyable occasion with much to banter about – including Roy’s late departure from the game having given his all, Scholesy actually being given a free kick by Aggro and Tim producing Crofton’s most dangerous strike from distance clearing the ball from the feet of the centre (XXXL) forward. Some okay bottled beer in the bar too.
The final game of the regular season. Erith – Perry Street. 07.05 17
Team: Mark, Mitch, Taj, Chris, Tim, John, Smudge, Stuart, Steve R, Neil, Roy. (Steve D: Lino).
1-1( Neil )
Goal of the Game: Brilliant cut back from John, unfortunately it had massive amounts of spin which took supreme effort to counter-act, expertly playing the ball off the far post giving the keeper no chance. (Neil’s account ).
Captain’s Choice : Taj- brilliant defensive work, good running forward.
OSCDT: Indeed it was Smudge who played the pass of the game, spotting a well- timed run and clipping in perfectly, only for Stuart to head wide- the top knot/man bun probably being the problem. (Doesn't he know any good barbers??!! ).
The Match: After much wheeling and dealing the Gaffer had gone to bed happy: despite injuries and absences we had a reasonable squad of 13 for the last scheduled fixture of a typically mixed season. However, the first text came in from a distraught Steve D- we would have to do without our goal machine- despite his clean living, almost monastic life style and a rigorous fitness regime he had succumbed to a severe attack of gout. Even swallowing pills in the volume he'd managed on a 90s rave night couldn't get him through a fitness test. We’d have to do with 12.
An hour later – some 80 minutes from kick off a text came in from Roy: “Scholesy can play…” It began before indicating Mr Penalty Appeal had some Achilles problems. 10 minutes after that Roy’s careless texting became apparent – now Captain Chris had texted to say that the Treacherous Judas was claiming significant injury but couldn't bother to let the Gaffer know directly-presumably because he was too focused on his later trip to the Library.
Bastard!! Down to 11 – two guests and two full backs in their 60s- and we would have to play on the big pitch.
What followed was, surprisingly, a decent and enjoyable game. Erith started and ended the game with 10 men , went up to 11 for a fair proportion of the time, but saw several players leave the field with injury. The Tamps had the bulk of possession and the better opportunities in a goal less first half. Roy should have been more alert after the teenage keeper made a good save but pushed the ball out into the six yard box from Steve R’s strong left footed drive. ‘I’d have scored that!’ the water divining Lino declared- and you'd have to agree with him. Mark was called on to make one fine save, seeing the ball late, but getting down smartly to push the ball around his left hand post. The Squire and Stanno were enjoying the contest but the latter was later to proclaim: ‘It's so noticeable how poor the passing is’.- and you wouldn't argue with that either.
Playing down hill for the second half we were again having more of the play: Stuart and Smudge were confident in the middle of the park, John and Steve R were getting forward well on the flanks, Chris and Taj locking up the defence and Tim and Mitch generally doing what was necessary at full back- the former making one foolish and ultimately unsuccessful surge forward seeking a give and go with Steve R. Up front Roy and Neil were seeking an understanding- rather unfair on Neil – Steve D, Chris and Taj have been doing that for close to 20 years and in two teams without success.
Eventually we went ahead : yet another strong run down the right allowing John to cut into the box and pull the ball across the goal. Neil was positioned well and swung his trusty left peg. Several Tamps turned away in mild disgust – and a few mumbled strong Anglo- Saxon curse words. But lo!! Neil had duped us all – far from the ball heading to the touchline the ‘miskick’ ballooned and turned, sneaking just inside the far post and indeed giving the keeper no chance. 1-0.
Erith heads did not drop mixing up a long ball on the break game with some decent interplay out of defence and through the midfield they began to threaten. The moment of the game came as Wayne cut towards the goal and from 25 yards out hit the sweetest of drives that seemed destined for the top corner. But no – Mark soared to his left and at full stretch got a strong hand to the ball to divert it behind- the save of the season.
There were a few more half chances at both ends but even after Chris had left the field with a groin strain and the defence altered (Steve R moving to centre back- when he remembered that's what he was now doing , anyway) it seemed we would gain a win.
However, Erith were able to secure the draw they deserved late on: appealing for off side rather than clearing immediate danger the Tamp defence put itself under pressure. Even then it looked as if Erith had been denied a shot at goal. Surely someone would boot the ball away to safety- but indecision prevailed and the Erith forward poked home.
A good game, a fair result but like the season, a match where we could have secured more.
Quotes
‘I've got something I've got to do in a bit’. Ainslie rejects the chance to join the squad when a pre match phone call finds him in bed.
‘Roy!!!’. Many people – quite frequently.
‘You can't leave him one on one!’ Smudger more than once- seeking support for Mitch.
“Scholesy’s a bastard!” All players- as they condemn his treacherous behaviour.
Team: Mark, Mitch, Taj, Chris, Tim, John, Smudge, Stuart, Steve R, Neil, Roy. (Steve D: Lino).
1-1( Neil )
Goal of the Game: Brilliant cut back from John, unfortunately it had massive amounts of spin which took supreme effort to counter-act, expertly playing the ball off the far post giving the keeper no chance. (Neil’s account ).
Captain’s Choice : Taj- brilliant defensive work, good running forward.
OSCDT: Indeed it was Smudge who played the pass of the game, spotting a well- timed run and clipping in perfectly, only for Stuart to head wide- the top knot/man bun probably being the problem. (Doesn't he know any good barbers??!! ).
The Match: After much wheeling and dealing the Gaffer had gone to bed happy: despite injuries and absences we had a reasonable squad of 13 for the last scheduled fixture of a typically mixed season. However, the first text came in from a distraught Steve D- we would have to do without our goal machine- despite his clean living, almost monastic life style and a rigorous fitness regime he had succumbed to a severe attack of gout. Even swallowing pills in the volume he'd managed on a 90s rave night couldn't get him through a fitness test. We’d have to do with 12.
An hour later – some 80 minutes from kick off a text came in from Roy: “Scholesy can play…” It began before indicating Mr Penalty Appeal had some Achilles problems. 10 minutes after that Roy’s careless texting became apparent – now Captain Chris had texted to say that the Treacherous Judas was claiming significant injury but couldn't bother to let the Gaffer know directly-presumably because he was too focused on his later trip to the Library.
Bastard!! Down to 11 – two guests and two full backs in their 60s- and we would have to play on the big pitch.
What followed was, surprisingly, a decent and enjoyable game. Erith started and ended the game with 10 men , went up to 11 for a fair proportion of the time, but saw several players leave the field with injury. The Tamps had the bulk of possession and the better opportunities in a goal less first half. Roy should have been more alert after the teenage keeper made a good save but pushed the ball out into the six yard box from Steve R’s strong left footed drive. ‘I’d have scored that!’ the water divining Lino declared- and you'd have to agree with him. Mark was called on to make one fine save, seeing the ball late, but getting down smartly to push the ball around his left hand post. The Squire and Stanno were enjoying the contest but the latter was later to proclaim: ‘It's so noticeable how poor the passing is’.- and you wouldn't argue with that either.
Playing down hill for the second half we were again having more of the play: Stuart and Smudge were confident in the middle of the park, John and Steve R were getting forward well on the flanks, Chris and Taj locking up the defence and Tim and Mitch generally doing what was necessary at full back- the former making one foolish and ultimately unsuccessful surge forward seeking a give and go with Steve R. Up front Roy and Neil were seeking an understanding- rather unfair on Neil – Steve D, Chris and Taj have been doing that for close to 20 years and in two teams without success.
Eventually we went ahead : yet another strong run down the right allowing John to cut into the box and pull the ball across the goal. Neil was positioned well and swung his trusty left peg. Several Tamps turned away in mild disgust – and a few mumbled strong Anglo- Saxon curse words. But lo!! Neil had duped us all – far from the ball heading to the touchline the ‘miskick’ ballooned and turned, sneaking just inside the far post and indeed giving the keeper no chance. 1-0.
Erith heads did not drop mixing up a long ball on the break game with some decent interplay out of defence and through the midfield they began to threaten. The moment of the game came as Wayne cut towards the goal and from 25 yards out hit the sweetest of drives that seemed destined for the top corner. But no – Mark soared to his left and at full stretch got a strong hand to the ball to divert it behind- the save of the season.
There were a few more half chances at both ends but even after Chris had left the field with a groin strain and the defence altered (Steve R moving to centre back- when he remembered that's what he was now doing , anyway) it seemed we would gain a win.
However, Erith were able to secure the draw they deserved late on: appealing for off side rather than clearing immediate danger the Tamp defence put itself under pressure. Even then it looked as if Erith had been denied a shot at goal. Surely someone would boot the ball away to safety- but indecision prevailed and the Erith forward poked home.
A good game, a fair result but like the season, a match where we could have secured more.
Quotes
‘I've got something I've got to do in a bit’. Ainslie rejects the chance to join the squad when a pre match phone call finds him in bed.
‘Roy!!!’. Many people – quite frequently.
‘You can't leave him one on one!’ Smudger more than once- seeking support for Mitch.
“Scholesy’s a bastard!” All players- as they condemn his treacherous behaviour.
Avery Hill 30/04/17
The Roan: Changing Room Show Pitch.
Lost. 1-4. ( Steve D—a screamer and goal of the season contender.)
The bare 11: Mark, Steve R, Chris, Baby, Tim, Taj, Smudge, Podge, Scholesy, Steve D, Roy.
Despite the lure of the caravan and the North London derby, peer pressure at Thursday training had convinced Scholesy he should come back for this magical fixture. Sadly Football fixture scheduling (Millwall securing a playoff spot in a 4-3 thriller at Bristol Rovers) and injury deprived us of our two stars from the previous game : Tonksy and John. (At least Mad Dave didn't need to express his view-yet again- that John was much younger than the age he gave.) However, we were delighted that the brothers Podger were playing together for only the second time this season.
In the Autumn we had suffered both crushing defeat and a narrow loss by the only goal to our rivals and now our uncharacteristic pre-kickoff huddle showed unusual focus and evident determination. We would give of our best.
The most notable event in the initial quarter was the Squire taking on linesman duties as both sides worked hard, sought to play the ball carefully and defended strongly. The biggest threat had perhaps come from Big Sylv bursting through – from a possibly offside position before Lord Smith had joined the officiating- but dragging his shot wide. Scholesy was testing his tight hamstring- he likes to voice a potential excuse at an early stage- with some excellent covering work whilst DI Chris made sure most parts of his anatomy would block their forward efforts- as well as some of our attempted clearances. Chris also showed his old pro wisdom by giving us all a breather – much needed due to the high temperature rather than the game’s pace- taking his time to ‘recover’ from each blow.
Our defence seemed to have resolved any early uncertainties- Baby martialling his back 4 to good effect – when we conceded. A cross from our left went beyond the far post towards the towering Griff- Taj coming back from midfield challenged - and with a grim finality Aggro blew and pointed to the spot. Grant gave Mark no chance stroking the penalty inside the post to our keeper’s right. Taj was certain that there had been no foul and the rest of us felt it unlikely that such a challenge would have been penalised at the other end of the pitch. (Not that we’re biased or bitter.)
Perhaps inspired by a sense of injustice we fought back forcing the best – and youngest- keeper we face- into action. Such was the pressure that the keeper withdrew his services claiming a finger injury and causing Avery into an early change placing Sylv in goal and bringing on a much pacier and even more skilful (and younger) forward in his place.
However it was the Tamps who struck next and what a goal! Having been at the heart of the action at both ends of the pitch- it was his cut back from the byline that had led to keeper Dan’s withdrawal-Chris picked out a galloping Steve D with a perfectly judged long ball for him to run on to. What happened next will live long in the memory- though probably not in that of 4 month old Lucy- though Steve was to later claim she raised both arms in excitement. Without checking his stride Steve hit the ball – some 25 yards out- sweetly on the volley giving it the pace and dip to power over the keeper and under the bar: 1-1.
We continued to press and Avery had to work as hard as they could to resist our energetic and skilful play. Podge was too strong and quick in midfield whilst Smudge’s judgement and reading of the game ensured we kept and used possession well. Steve D and Roy were doing all they could to make it difficult for Avery to play out from the back and Taj and Scholesy pushed forward strongly without neglecting defensive requirements. Tim’s commitment extended to head butting Mark as he both ignored the keeper’s call and made sure- eventually- that the danger was clear. So secure was Steve R on the right that Avery played most of their ball down our left.
At half time it seemed we might be in the ascendancy and might just have deserved to be ahead. A strong Avery Hill team had been made to work very hard.
The contest continued in an even manner through the first 10 minutes of the second half but fresh legs and more pace were challenging our bare 11- Stuart and Andy gaining more control in midfield. Gradually Avery were gaining more possession and using it more tellingly:our tackles became more urgent and Mark was being called into action on a more regular basis.
That said it took a couple of outstanding goals to break our resolve. Firstly a cross from the left found Tim seeking to block out the replacement striker not expecting the prodigious leap and powerful header that put Avery ahead. Then, after further telling attacks, a strong run by Griff down our left and fine delivery enabled the striker to slip between Chris and Steve R and head his second- another very well taken goal.
We had some moments Scholesy shooting narrowly wide from distance after some very extravagant lollipopping but then when in a more threatening forward position chipping meekly into their keeper’s arms when he could have pushed it to Roy at the back post. Steve D enlivened things by squaring up to Mad Dave after yet another of his cynical- and essentially unnecessary – fouls but we were being stretched and were not able to get support forward in the numbers we had in the first half and so were losing possession too easily.
Despite Avery Hill’s dominance in the last quarter 3-1 didn't seem an appropriate scoreline and this feeling only intensified at the death when Grant capitalised after interplay between the brothers was perhaps more Chuckle than Podger. Mark had made several smart saves at their forwards’ feet but this time Grant was able run through and slot his second.
4-1- a scoreline that would have been fully appropriate to the last North London derby played later in the day at the old Lane rather than this more even contest at the Old Roan
Man of the Match: Toby Chris- every time they knocked him down he got back up again-#Tubthumping. Also pass of the game for our goal.
The Roan: Changing Room Show Pitch.
Lost. 1-4. ( Steve D—a screamer and goal of the season contender.)
The bare 11: Mark, Steve R, Chris, Baby, Tim, Taj, Smudge, Podge, Scholesy, Steve D, Roy.
Despite the lure of the caravan and the North London derby, peer pressure at Thursday training had convinced Scholesy he should come back for this magical fixture. Sadly Football fixture scheduling (Millwall securing a playoff spot in a 4-3 thriller at Bristol Rovers) and injury deprived us of our two stars from the previous game : Tonksy and John. (At least Mad Dave didn't need to express his view-yet again- that John was much younger than the age he gave.) However, we were delighted that the brothers Podger were playing together for only the second time this season.
In the Autumn we had suffered both crushing defeat and a narrow loss by the only goal to our rivals and now our uncharacteristic pre-kickoff huddle showed unusual focus and evident determination. We would give of our best.
The most notable event in the initial quarter was the Squire taking on linesman duties as both sides worked hard, sought to play the ball carefully and defended strongly. The biggest threat had perhaps come from Big Sylv bursting through – from a possibly offside position before Lord Smith had joined the officiating- but dragging his shot wide. Scholesy was testing his tight hamstring- he likes to voice a potential excuse at an early stage- with some excellent covering work whilst DI Chris made sure most parts of his anatomy would block their forward efforts- as well as some of our attempted clearances. Chris also showed his old pro wisdom by giving us all a breather – much needed due to the high temperature rather than the game’s pace- taking his time to ‘recover’ from each blow.
Our defence seemed to have resolved any early uncertainties- Baby martialling his back 4 to good effect – when we conceded. A cross from our left went beyond the far post towards the towering Griff- Taj coming back from midfield challenged - and with a grim finality Aggro blew and pointed to the spot. Grant gave Mark no chance stroking the penalty inside the post to our keeper’s right. Taj was certain that there had been no foul and the rest of us felt it unlikely that such a challenge would have been penalised at the other end of the pitch. (Not that we’re biased or bitter.)
Perhaps inspired by a sense of injustice we fought back forcing the best – and youngest- keeper we face- into action. Such was the pressure that the keeper withdrew his services claiming a finger injury and causing Avery into an early change placing Sylv in goal and bringing on a much pacier and even more skilful (and younger) forward in his place.
However it was the Tamps who struck next and what a goal! Having been at the heart of the action at both ends of the pitch- it was his cut back from the byline that had led to keeper Dan’s withdrawal-Chris picked out a galloping Steve D with a perfectly judged long ball for him to run on to. What happened next will live long in the memory- though probably not in that of 4 month old Lucy- though Steve was to later claim she raised both arms in excitement. Without checking his stride Steve hit the ball – some 25 yards out- sweetly on the volley giving it the pace and dip to power over the keeper and under the bar: 1-1.
We continued to press and Avery had to work as hard as they could to resist our energetic and skilful play. Podge was too strong and quick in midfield whilst Smudge’s judgement and reading of the game ensured we kept and used possession well. Steve D and Roy were doing all they could to make it difficult for Avery to play out from the back and Taj and Scholesy pushed forward strongly without neglecting defensive requirements. Tim’s commitment extended to head butting Mark as he both ignored the keeper’s call and made sure- eventually- that the danger was clear. So secure was Steve R on the right that Avery played most of their ball down our left.
At half time it seemed we might be in the ascendancy and might just have deserved to be ahead. A strong Avery Hill team had been made to work very hard.
The contest continued in an even manner through the first 10 minutes of the second half but fresh legs and more pace were challenging our bare 11- Stuart and Andy gaining more control in midfield. Gradually Avery were gaining more possession and using it more tellingly:our tackles became more urgent and Mark was being called into action on a more regular basis.
That said it took a couple of outstanding goals to break our resolve. Firstly a cross from the left found Tim seeking to block out the replacement striker not expecting the prodigious leap and powerful header that put Avery ahead. Then, after further telling attacks, a strong run by Griff down our left and fine delivery enabled the striker to slip between Chris and Steve R and head his second- another very well taken goal.
We had some moments Scholesy shooting narrowly wide from distance after some very extravagant lollipopping but then when in a more threatening forward position chipping meekly into their keeper’s arms when he could have pushed it to Roy at the back post. Steve D enlivened things by squaring up to Mad Dave after yet another of his cynical- and essentially unnecessary – fouls but we were being stretched and were not able to get support forward in the numbers we had in the first half and so were losing possession too easily.
Despite Avery Hill’s dominance in the last quarter 3-1 didn't seem an appropriate scoreline and this feeling only intensified at the death when Grant capitalised after interplay between the brothers was perhaps more Chuckle than Podger. Mark had made several smart saves at their forwards’ feet but this time Grant was able run through and slot his second.
4-1- a scoreline that would have been fully appropriate to the last North London derby played later in the day at the old Lane rather than this more even contest at the Old Roan
Man of the Match: Toby Chris- every time they knocked him down he got back up again-#Tubthumping. Also pass of the game for our goal.
Santos 23/04/17 - The St. George’s Day Clash.
Tennis court pitch
Mark, Pocky, Chris, Taj, Chris, Smudge, John, Tonksy, Steve L, Roy, Nathan, Steve D, Tim.
Lost 2-3. ( Roy, Tonksy). Reffed by the Squire. Subs: Tim :3/4, Nathan: ¼.
With several regulars absent it was good to see Steve L back in the middle of the park and Micky S after his long lay off back on the pitch albeit as ref. We were also glad to have Nathan making his debut giving us 12 and therefore a linesman. DI Chris an almost ever present this season showed himself the complete professional and athlete taking up his usual place as defensive lynchpin despite a black tie event the previous day and10 plus pints of the black stuff.Santos had the bare 11 including a father- son combo with the pacy youngster up front .
Confusion and indecision in our box saw us one down very early on as we turned a modest threat into a certain goal allowing the number 7 to tap in . We dominated possession thereafter but couldn't find that telling final pass or make an effective strike. Finding the pace of SuperVets football a little challenging Nathan came off for a rest- giving Tim a run and allowing Roy- who had earlier claimed to be the most versatile player in the squad, able to play in every position (though obviously Prima Donna rather than Maradona)- to take up the striker’s role.
Things got worse before they got better- a routine cross from our left seemed an easy catch for Mark with defenders leaving space for him to do this however he could only get finger tips to the head height ball to give their 7 another tap in. 0-2 down despite the bulk of possession. Frustrated but not letting our heads drop we continued to play: John was regularly getting past defenders on the right, Taj breaking forward frequently and Tonksy and Steve L taking a firm grip in the middle- the latter contributing the first of 4 nutmegs to show his evergreen class- even though the oldest on pitch. Steve D was straying offside at times (the Squire making important calls without a linesman to help) but also getting into space. With half time approaching we pulled one back. Neat passing from defence and through the midfield put the oppo on the back foot and John, Steve D and Tonksy combined to set up Roy cutting in from the left. His disguised finish- it would be churlish to say he scuffed it- beating the keeper at the near post. With Nathan recovered to take up the left midfield slot and the oppo showing a capacity to stray offside we came out for the second half confident that we’d fully turn things around.
Mixing some long balls over the defenders with closer interplay we were dominant and the oppo increasingly frustrated- particularly by Tim’s regularly raised flag for offside and surely not by his clear and helpful explanations for his decisions. Steve D had a couple of good efforts saved and Steve L found the power to blast one narrowly wide. (We have to report that, as it was a shot that actually reached the goal line.)
Their number 6 in particular was showing some aggravation outplayed by Tonksy and Steve L in the midfield, angry with the linesman and suddenly in confrontation with Roy who had prepared for this at Thursday ‘training’ by seeking hand to hand combat with Mad Dave.The Squire kept a firm grip with benign authority.
Finally we were level – and what a goal! Smudge, as usual had struck some fine passes but now he played the ball of the game. Taking the free kick midway in our half he not only spotted Tonksy pushing on but called the delivery. Tonksy in the clear saw the ball onto his left foot, the volley (no way was it an attempt at first touch control) bulging the roof of the net.
On we pushed, with Nathan contributing in both attack and defence on the left, but it was perhaps telling that John- a victim of a crude body check in the first half – was struggling with a dead leg.Perhaps we should have consolidated but we continued to play good attacking football with Pocky almost getting giddy as he show boated through to the edge of the box. Then, the sucker punch a long ball to the pacy kid , good control and too much gas, no offside flag, and a well judged and paced lay off to the 7 surging in from our vacant right side gleefully completing his hat –trick. Well played, Sir and he was responsible for a couple of impressive on the goal line clearances! A disappointing 3-2 defeat largely stemming from the soft goals conceded in the first half.
Man of the Match: Roy’s selection: Tonksy, maybe John…oh okay give it to Tonksy.
Quotes and Moments: ‘ He does everything powerfully’. The Squire’s observation after Steve D very firmly headed the ball out of play.
‘I don’t give foul throws.’ The Squire follows in Aggro’s footsteps.
‘Dumb and Dumber up front’. Graham’s unkind comments from his position as second half linesman.
‘I’m so versatile. I’m the only one who can play anywhere.’ Roy’s team mates kept their thoughts to themselves after this assertion.
‘Don't you talk to him- he’s my son’. Dad doesn't want Tim as linesman bantering with his cheerless boy. ( A 20 something playing against 60 year olds- please!!!)
Nathan’s dramatic overhead kick- can’t diss a guest by putting it in the match report.
Smudge’s skills and touch being admired by the oppo – including the hat trick hero.
Pocky honestly admitting that he couldn't run anymore and couldn't get back to stop the winner.
Tennis court pitch
Mark, Pocky, Chris, Taj, Chris, Smudge, John, Tonksy, Steve L, Roy, Nathan, Steve D, Tim.
Lost 2-3. ( Roy, Tonksy). Reffed by the Squire. Subs: Tim :3/4, Nathan: ¼.
With several regulars absent it was good to see Steve L back in the middle of the park and Micky S after his long lay off back on the pitch albeit as ref. We were also glad to have Nathan making his debut giving us 12 and therefore a linesman. DI Chris an almost ever present this season showed himself the complete professional and athlete taking up his usual place as defensive lynchpin despite a black tie event the previous day and10 plus pints of the black stuff.Santos had the bare 11 including a father- son combo with the pacy youngster up front .
Confusion and indecision in our box saw us one down very early on as we turned a modest threat into a certain goal allowing the number 7 to tap in . We dominated possession thereafter but couldn't find that telling final pass or make an effective strike. Finding the pace of SuperVets football a little challenging Nathan came off for a rest- giving Tim a run and allowing Roy- who had earlier claimed to be the most versatile player in the squad, able to play in every position (though obviously Prima Donna rather than Maradona)- to take up the striker’s role.
Things got worse before they got better- a routine cross from our left seemed an easy catch for Mark with defenders leaving space for him to do this however he could only get finger tips to the head height ball to give their 7 another tap in. 0-2 down despite the bulk of possession. Frustrated but not letting our heads drop we continued to play: John was regularly getting past defenders on the right, Taj breaking forward frequently and Tonksy and Steve L taking a firm grip in the middle- the latter contributing the first of 4 nutmegs to show his evergreen class- even though the oldest on pitch. Steve D was straying offside at times (the Squire making important calls without a linesman to help) but also getting into space. With half time approaching we pulled one back. Neat passing from defence and through the midfield put the oppo on the back foot and John, Steve D and Tonksy combined to set up Roy cutting in from the left. His disguised finish- it would be churlish to say he scuffed it- beating the keeper at the near post. With Nathan recovered to take up the left midfield slot and the oppo showing a capacity to stray offside we came out for the second half confident that we’d fully turn things around.
Mixing some long balls over the defenders with closer interplay we were dominant and the oppo increasingly frustrated- particularly by Tim’s regularly raised flag for offside and surely not by his clear and helpful explanations for his decisions. Steve D had a couple of good efforts saved and Steve L found the power to blast one narrowly wide. (We have to report that, as it was a shot that actually reached the goal line.)
Their number 6 in particular was showing some aggravation outplayed by Tonksy and Steve L in the midfield, angry with the linesman and suddenly in confrontation with Roy who had prepared for this at Thursday ‘training’ by seeking hand to hand combat with Mad Dave.The Squire kept a firm grip with benign authority.
Finally we were level – and what a goal! Smudge, as usual had struck some fine passes but now he played the ball of the game. Taking the free kick midway in our half he not only spotted Tonksy pushing on but called the delivery. Tonksy in the clear saw the ball onto his left foot, the volley (no way was it an attempt at first touch control) bulging the roof of the net.
On we pushed, with Nathan contributing in both attack and defence on the left, but it was perhaps telling that John- a victim of a crude body check in the first half – was struggling with a dead leg.Perhaps we should have consolidated but we continued to play good attacking football with Pocky almost getting giddy as he show boated through to the edge of the box. Then, the sucker punch a long ball to the pacy kid , good control and too much gas, no offside flag, and a well judged and paced lay off to the 7 surging in from our vacant right side gleefully completing his hat –trick. Well played, Sir and he was responsible for a couple of impressive on the goal line clearances! A disappointing 3-2 defeat largely stemming from the soft goals conceded in the first half.
Man of the Match: Roy’s selection: Tonksy, maybe John…oh okay give it to Tonksy.
Quotes and Moments: ‘ He does everything powerfully’. The Squire’s observation after Steve D very firmly headed the ball out of play.
‘I don’t give foul throws.’ The Squire follows in Aggro’s footsteps.
‘Dumb and Dumber up front’. Graham’s unkind comments from his position as second half linesman.
‘I’m so versatile. I’m the only one who can play anywhere.’ Roy’s team mates kept their thoughts to themselves after this assertion.
‘Don't you talk to him- he’s my son’. Dad doesn't want Tim as linesman bantering with his cheerless boy. ( A 20 something playing against 60 year olds- please!!!)
Nathan’s dramatic overhead kick- can’t diss a guest by putting it in the match report.
Smudge’s skills and touch being admired by the oppo – including the hat trick hero.
Pocky honestly admitting that he couldn't run anymore and couldn't get back to stop the winner.
Inter the Valley. 09/04/17
Home : Changing Room Show Pitch
Won: 4-3. ( Paul G, Chris (2 pens), John.
Mark, Taj, Chris, Finchy, Smudge, John, Tonksy, Cameron, Roy, Steve D, Paul G, Tim.
Two weeks previously Roy’s cry had been ‘Criminals!’, the following game the collective shout was‘Robbery!’, this Sunday it was ‘Justice!’. A strong second half performance after a poor first 45 led to a thoroughly merited and satisfying victory. A late goal for the Valley meant that the scoreline flattered the visitors whose performance was characterised by the long ball game and a great deal of complaining.
Having played like a man possessed in ‘training’ missing his football after testing the real value of the Pound in the Big Apple, Taj seemed to be suffering from significant jet lag as the Tamps started poorly.
It was clear that the main threat would come from uncomplicated football: long balls and pace. A couple of scares and several offsides showed this and our passing was not good enough for us to build the momentum that our level of possession seemed to merit: we were going long too and not passing to feet. We did threaten however: Tonksy hit the post with an angled drive from the edge of the box. We also earned several corners with Smudge and John putting good balls in. Roy and Tonksy did not deliver in the same way though.
We didn't settle as the half progressed – not making the most of John who had space on the right and often losing the second ball duels ( see also Arsenal at Selhurst Park). Uncertainty led to the opening goal: Smudgestroked a ball across to Taj but his hesitation allowed the oppo to claim the ball and break away. With no cover as we pushed forward and plenty of speed to break clear the forward gave Mark no chance. Soon afterwards though Mark kept us in the game with a fine save, one on one- an action he would repeat after the break.The half played out with little more excitement but mounting discontent from the oppo as they disputed most offside calls against them.
The second half (or the third and fourth quarters given the drinks breaks ) was different. This resulted from us playing well but also perhaps linked to an acrimonious half time amongst the oppo: they seem to be a glass half empty group. The inspirational presence of President Graham sat behind our goal was also a possible factor.
Cameron and Tonksy gained a firm grip in the centre of midfield and we were able to create opportunities on both wings. The defence was strong and Finchy and Smudge used the ball well and Taj’s familiar cry of: ‘Look! Look!’ was heard more frequently as he supported John on the right.
It was no surprise our opening goal came from that direction and after another strong run and pass in from John. Tonksy and Steve D exchanged passes and the latter picked up on Paul G’s movement off the ball laying on a clear chance that was well taken, Paul firing home past the keeper’s right hand. It was now a clear contest and their defenders had a lot to do. Pressure told when Paul was hauled down in the box and Chris made no mistake from the spot.
Mark’s excellent save kept us ahead and when the oppo broke clear after a corner it needed a fine first tackle from John chasing back and good back up from Chris to prevent the equaliser.
Our attacking play was transformed from the first half John hit the bar from distance and some well timed tackles kept us out. The ‘tackle’ that felled Steve D – as he chased the ball away from goal was not in that category however and after Jim could correctly give the penalty on sound alone Chris put us 3-1 up again beating the keeper , finding the corner of the goal to his left.
Inter pressed and scored a good second : a well timed pass and equally astute run opening up the defence and the neat finish giving Mark no chance.
However, we were quickly back in the ascendancy a good move creating space for John to receive the ball in a central position ahead of smacking his drive over the keeper into the roof of the net.
Inter continued to press showing more threat playing through the midfield. Having fired narrowly high and wide 5 minutes earlier their 7 again carried the ball across the defence and arrowed one into the far corner.
However, the game –played on the hottest day of the year so far and characterised by outstanding officiating- was done and a 4-3 victory was the least we deserved.
Man of the Match: It has to be John for his work rate and goal – set up by me- Tonksy.
Quotes and Moments:
‘Oh f**k!’ After a mazy run Roy steers the ball out of play for a goal kick.
‘I’ve seen it all now, Sunday morning football…’. One of the oppo reacts to Paul smacking the ball deep into their half and out of play from the last kick off.
‘It was a game of 4 halves.’ Jim O’L a fine ref- even in a vest- but a suspect mathematician.
‘I’ve been wanking too much – I had no energy from the off’. Too much information from Tonksy.
‘Don't do that!’ Tim is appalled by Roy’s insistence he should swap places with Smudge- supposedly to help the defence- but really to give him some recovery time.
Home : Changing Room Show Pitch
Won: 4-3. ( Paul G, Chris (2 pens), John.
Mark, Taj, Chris, Finchy, Smudge, John, Tonksy, Cameron, Roy, Steve D, Paul G, Tim.
Two weeks previously Roy’s cry had been ‘Criminals!’, the following game the collective shout was‘Robbery!’, this Sunday it was ‘Justice!’. A strong second half performance after a poor first 45 led to a thoroughly merited and satisfying victory. A late goal for the Valley meant that the scoreline flattered the visitors whose performance was characterised by the long ball game and a great deal of complaining.
Having played like a man possessed in ‘training’ missing his football after testing the real value of the Pound in the Big Apple, Taj seemed to be suffering from significant jet lag as the Tamps started poorly.
It was clear that the main threat would come from uncomplicated football: long balls and pace. A couple of scares and several offsides showed this and our passing was not good enough for us to build the momentum that our level of possession seemed to merit: we were going long too and not passing to feet. We did threaten however: Tonksy hit the post with an angled drive from the edge of the box. We also earned several corners with Smudge and John putting good balls in. Roy and Tonksy did not deliver in the same way though.
We didn't settle as the half progressed – not making the most of John who had space on the right and often losing the second ball duels ( see also Arsenal at Selhurst Park). Uncertainty led to the opening goal: Smudgestroked a ball across to Taj but his hesitation allowed the oppo to claim the ball and break away. With no cover as we pushed forward and plenty of speed to break clear the forward gave Mark no chance. Soon afterwards though Mark kept us in the game with a fine save, one on one- an action he would repeat after the break.The half played out with little more excitement but mounting discontent from the oppo as they disputed most offside calls against them.
The second half (or the third and fourth quarters given the drinks breaks ) was different. This resulted from us playing well but also perhaps linked to an acrimonious half time amongst the oppo: they seem to be a glass half empty group. The inspirational presence of President Graham sat behind our goal was also a possible factor.
Cameron and Tonksy gained a firm grip in the centre of midfield and we were able to create opportunities on both wings. The defence was strong and Finchy and Smudge used the ball well and Taj’s familiar cry of: ‘Look! Look!’ was heard more frequently as he supported John on the right.
It was no surprise our opening goal came from that direction and after another strong run and pass in from John. Tonksy and Steve D exchanged passes and the latter picked up on Paul G’s movement off the ball laying on a clear chance that was well taken, Paul firing home past the keeper’s right hand. It was now a clear contest and their defenders had a lot to do. Pressure told when Paul was hauled down in the box and Chris made no mistake from the spot.
Mark’s excellent save kept us ahead and when the oppo broke clear after a corner it needed a fine first tackle from John chasing back and good back up from Chris to prevent the equaliser.
Our attacking play was transformed from the first half John hit the bar from distance and some well timed tackles kept us out. The ‘tackle’ that felled Steve D – as he chased the ball away from goal was not in that category however and after Jim could correctly give the penalty on sound alone Chris put us 3-1 up again beating the keeper , finding the corner of the goal to his left.
Inter pressed and scored a good second : a well timed pass and equally astute run opening up the defence and the neat finish giving Mark no chance.
However, we were quickly back in the ascendancy a good move creating space for John to receive the ball in a central position ahead of smacking his drive over the keeper into the roof of the net.
Inter continued to press showing more threat playing through the midfield. Having fired narrowly high and wide 5 minutes earlier their 7 again carried the ball across the defence and arrowed one into the far corner.
However, the game –played on the hottest day of the year so far and characterised by outstanding officiating- was done and a 4-3 victory was the least we deserved.
Man of the Match: It has to be John for his work rate and goal – set up by me- Tonksy.
Quotes and Moments:
‘Oh f**k!’ After a mazy run Roy steers the ball out of play for a goal kick.
‘I’ve seen it all now, Sunday morning football…’. One of the oppo reacts to Paul smacking the ball deep into their half and out of play from the last kick off.
‘It was a game of 4 halves.’ Jim O’L a fine ref- even in a vest- but a suspect mathematician.
‘I’ve been wanking too much – I had no energy from the off’. Too much information from Tonksy.
‘Don't do that!’ Tim is appalled by Roy’s insistence he should swap places with Smudge- supposedly to help the defence- but really to give him some recovery time.
02/04/17 - Inter Viagra. The Woolwich Station Ground: the Barracks.
Lost. 2-3. ( Steve D (2). )
Mark, Mitch, Podge, Chris, Smudge, Pocky, Steve L, Tonksy, Roy, Steve D , Paul T, Tim.
(Subs: Tim :3/4, Mitch : ¼.)
Only Roy had complained of criminals after our previous match but here the whole team was united in the cry of : ‘Robbery!’. However, our classic combination of costly mistakes, giving cheap early goals , and inability to make the right final pass or take the decent chances that we did create were the key factors in this surprise defeat.
President Graham had promised us ‘ quite an old team’ to play against but whilst 4 of our players combined age was 245 years young perhaps not even 7 or 8 of the Viagara boys could match this life experience. Not only were they ( mainly ) youthful, they were quick too!
Pace was evident in the opening goal –albeit from a 51 year old. Losing possession going forward – a feature of our opening play- Viagra broke clear, and with several Tamps trying but failing to intervene and Mark dragged wide, when the initial shot came back off the post their (usually offside) forward tapped in. At training later in the week Mitch, with refreshing honesty asserted that ‘There was no defence on the right hand side.’
Perhaps 5 minutes later we were 2 down as Podge under hit a back pass and their forward took advantage .
By now we were definitely regretting Steve D’s unilateral decision to kick down the slope but we began to work our way back in the game. Roy had made some strong tackles on the left but needed a rest after one lung bursting run. This led to some more direct play with Steve D and Paul seeing a lot of the ball. Pocky’s fitness was severely tested as he found space on the right but at least he was able to wear his astroturfs and keep his blisters to a minimum. Tonksy , inspired by Millwall’s continuing push for a playoff spot , was central to a lot of our play and Steve L showed the skills were still there with a few shimmies and the inevitable ‘ Megnuts!!’ ( So sweet.). Our defence had settled down and Podge and Smudge could compete in knocking good through balls.
Viagra were under pressure and eventually they cracked : both Paul and Steve had come close and only the woodwork had kept us out. The oppo keeper was becoming concerned and this expressed itself in rage after Steve opened our account. After good interplay Steve out jumped the custodian and controlled the ball easily before turning it home. The ref ignored all home side complaints , the loudest and longest being made by the very red faced keeper.
2-1 down at half time and we knew the Inter long ball game would continue down the hill.
There were some nervy moments- including Roy winning the ball and keeping it in the box with some dizzying turns but a refusal to go forward. Chris made a couple of timely tackles and we certainly needed Podge’s pace and (regained) composure. Mark was encouraged to play the sweeper keeper role and generally got it right. We thought we’d get the equaliser but having had one goal chalked off for offside in the first half another was ruled out because of an over robust challenge.
Then, as we were starting to play our better football Inter got their break away to make it 3-1. It then could have been worse but Mark made an excellent save , blocking at the froward’s feet.
Inter were tiring and we were playing the ball forward well. Tim, now on at right back hit the ball down the line both sending Paul free and apologising for leading him wider than intended. Drawing the defenders closer Paul , from close to the corner flag, smacked the perfect ball in for Steve to smartly stab home. Game on.
Now we were creating chances with almost every attack whilst dominating possession. Perhaps the best fell to Paul as Pocky bent in the perfect delivery from the right byline, however, Paul hit a firm volley over the bar when an extra touch or a scuffed effort would have done. Steve D had another goal disallowed having been adjudged to use his arm rather than shoulder as he and the defender clashed.
More good play out from the back enabled Steve D to break clear, the flag stayed down the defenders were beaten , the keeper came out and Steve won that contest , swaying and stroking the ball into the open goal. A deserved equaliser? The whistle went, paying no attention to the most decorated serving officer in Her Majesty’s forces who had been in line the ref from deep in our half gave an outrageous offside. We had time to come close again piling on the pressure but it wasn't to be : Robbery!!!
Men of the Match: Several possibles: Chris tireless as ever, Steve D with two goals and others disallowed. Podge might have deserved it for strong defence and initiating many attack but he held up his hand for their second – so again it goes to that man in form -Tonksy- he was everywhere and he came close to grabbing an equaliser- well, in his mind anyway!
Quotes and Moments
‘It’s adult football Pocky.’ Podge is critical of playground showboating that doesn't come off.
‘There's no one to give it to!’ Roy – as his unmarked team mates look on in bemusement.
Steve L’s dummy- misjudging the pace of the ball which stopped some 10 yards from the team mate he was leaving it for. Also a mention for his judo throw on their midfielder as he tried to get by our evergreen pro.
Pocky’s shot, smashed behind the goal at the near post- when he had 3 to pull it back to- perhaps a rival to Paul’s miss which he set up with one of the ball’s of the game.
Lost. 2-3. ( Steve D (2). )
Mark, Mitch, Podge, Chris, Smudge, Pocky, Steve L, Tonksy, Roy, Steve D , Paul T, Tim.
(Subs: Tim :3/4, Mitch : ¼.)
Only Roy had complained of criminals after our previous match but here the whole team was united in the cry of : ‘Robbery!’. However, our classic combination of costly mistakes, giving cheap early goals , and inability to make the right final pass or take the decent chances that we did create were the key factors in this surprise defeat.
President Graham had promised us ‘ quite an old team’ to play against but whilst 4 of our players combined age was 245 years young perhaps not even 7 or 8 of the Viagara boys could match this life experience. Not only were they ( mainly ) youthful, they were quick too!
Pace was evident in the opening goal –albeit from a 51 year old. Losing possession going forward – a feature of our opening play- Viagra broke clear, and with several Tamps trying but failing to intervene and Mark dragged wide, when the initial shot came back off the post their (usually offside) forward tapped in. At training later in the week Mitch, with refreshing honesty asserted that ‘There was no defence on the right hand side.’
Perhaps 5 minutes later we were 2 down as Podge under hit a back pass and their forward took advantage .
By now we were definitely regretting Steve D’s unilateral decision to kick down the slope but we began to work our way back in the game. Roy had made some strong tackles on the left but needed a rest after one lung bursting run. This led to some more direct play with Steve D and Paul seeing a lot of the ball. Pocky’s fitness was severely tested as he found space on the right but at least he was able to wear his astroturfs and keep his blisters to a minimum. Tonksy , inspired by Millwall’s continuing push for a playoff spot , was central to a lot of our play and Steve L showed the skills were still there with a few shimmies and the inevitable ‘ Megnuts!!’ ( So sweet.). Our defence had settled down and Podge and Smudge could compete in knocking good through balls.
Viagra were under pressure and eventually they cracked : both Paul and Steve had come close and only the woodwork had kept us out. The oppo keeper was becoming concerned and this expressed itself in rage after Steve opened our account. After good interplay Steve out jumped the custodian and controlled the ball easily before turning it home. The ref ignored all home side complaints , the loudest and longest being made by the very red faced keeper.
2-1 down at half time and we knew the Inter long ball game would continue down the hill.
There were some nervy moments- including Roy winning the ball and keeping it in the box with some dizzying turns but a refusal to go forward. Chris made a couple of timely tackles and we certainly needed Podge’s pace and (regained) composure. Mark was encouraged to play the sweeper keeper role and generally got it right. We thought we’d get the equaliser but having had one goal chalked off for offside in the first half another was ruled out because of an over robust challenge.
Then, as we were starting to play our better football Inter got their break away to make it 3-1. It then could have been worse but Mark made an excellent save , blocking at the froward’s feet.
Inter were tiring and we were playing the ball forward well. Tim, now on at right back hit the ball down the line both sending Paul free and apologising for leading him wider than intended. Drawing the defenders closer Paul , from close to the corner flag, smacked the perfect ball in for Steve to smartly stab home. Game on.
Now we were creating chances with almost every attack whilst dominating possession. Perhaps the best fell to Paul as Pocky bent in the perfect delivery from the right byline, however, Paul hit a firm volley over the bar when an extra touch or a scuffed effort would have done. Steve D had another goal disallowed having been adjudged to use his arm rather than shoulder as he and the defender clashed.
More good play out from the back enabled Steve D to break clear, the flag stayed down the defenders were beaten , the keeper came out and Steve won that contest , swaying and stroking the ball into the open goal. A deserved equaliser? The whistle went, paying no attention to the most decorated serving officer in Her Majesty’s forces who had been in line the ref from deep in our half gave an outrageous offside. We had time to come close again piling on the pressure but it wasn't to be : Robbery!!!
Men of the Match: Several possibles: Chris tireless as ever, Steve D with two goals and others disallowed. Podge might have deserved it for strong defence and initiating many attack but he held up his hand for their second – so again it goes to that man in form -Tonksy- he was everywhere and he came close to grabbing an equaliser- well, in his mind anyway!
Quotes and Moments
‘It’s adult football Pocky.’ Podge is critical of playground showboating that doesn't come off.
‘There's no one to give it to!’ Roy – as his unmarked team mates look on in bemusement.
Steve L’s dummy- misjudging the pace of the ball which stopped some 10 yards from the team mate he was leaving it for. Also a mention for his judo throw on their midfielder as he tried to get by our evergreen pro.
Pocky’s shot, smashed behind the goal at the near post- when he had 3 to pull it back to- perhaps a rival to Paul’s miss which he set up with one of the ball’s of the game.
26/03/2017 Crofton Albion
The Mother's Day showdown.
Home: Tennis Court pitch
Won: 3-1. ( Steve D, Podge, Smudge.)
The bare 11: Mark, Tim, Chris, Taj, Smudge, Roy, Podge, Tonksy, Scholesy, Steve D, Ains.
Not everyone in the hard working Tamps team shared the general view that this was both a competitive game and a good win: Smudge declared that he’d been ‘ bored’ ( hence his flick ups and ‘Have it!’ volleys ) whilst Ains felt he couldn't ‘Get into it’. Roy was the biggest critic however, using his extensive social media presence to lambast the ‘criminals’ he deemed our esteemed opponents to be- no over reaction there to a few committed challenges and the odd knock to his right leg; given the free kicks awarded against him his ‘wounds’ could have been self inflicted.
Crofton had their best spell early on but having dealt with these early thrusts we took control playing some measured football coming forward with purpose. A typical surge down the right from Taj- desperate to give everything to the cause ahead of his trip to NewYork and his expected long detention by U.S. Immigration services – seemed certain to bring the opener. Beating several players he reached the byline putting the perfect ball across the 6 yard box . With the keeper beaten a tap in had been created but Podge and Ains both attempted to effect this with the ball ballooning over the bar from 4 yards out. An impressive miss and Steve D surprisingly not involved at all.
You can't keep him out of the game for long though and after continued Tamps pressure he opened the scoring his poor first touch necessitating a dramatic reverse pike with tuck and overhead kick to steer the ball home.Bravely ignoring the cut to his face he celebrated modestly- something Scholesy could learn from.
Despite Roy’s eccentricities in possession, mazy runs in every direction, our midfield was controlling things and the defence was solid. Mark had hardly been tested by half time.
Scholesy and especially Podge and Tonksy continued to dominate in the middle of the park and we had the bulk of possession and used it well.
Our second is a contender for goal of the season : Tim’s throw in sent Chris moving forward to feed Podge who-25 yards out- looked up , took a touch and powered a fine drive over the despairing keeper and into the top corner.
Having the bare 11 was not showing on the pitch as the whole team worked hard throughout but it did indirectly facilitate the Crofton goal: with no linesman, Stoney resting 5 yards offside was giving the benefit of the doubt and was able to set up an undeserved response. Both Mark and the defence deserved a clean sheet – but it was not to be.
Our third followed the most robust challenge of the day Stoney losing patience on the left with Scholesy’s hustle and bustle and scything him down at hip height. As we flooded the box Smudge whipped in a fine delivery that eluded everyone and zipped in at the far post.
A final score of 3-1 perhaps did not do us justice : we played the football that would have merited a couple more goals at least. Our local rivals had been seen off in style and we look forward to our end of season clash at Welling F.C. in May.
Mark’s Men: A bobbly pitch and a strong easterly wind made for a football feast……or not.A solid Tamps performance with particular praise for the midfield of Tonksy, Podge and Scholesy.
Quotes and Moments:
‘Sorry John.’ Smudge apologises for not getting his timing right.
‘Steve! Steve!... Oh come on!’ Late in the game Scholesy smacks the ball out for a goal kick but expects Steve D – some 30 yards away to get it.
‘Move across, Move across!’ – as ever Mark gives precise and effective instructions to team mates in the wall.
‘I get Hilary to stroke it every night.’ President Lawrence refers to his wand.
Ains gets through a further 90 minutes- he’s a legend.
Our wall does its job at consecutive free kicks. How did that happen!!??!
Stoney’s step over dummy at free kick fails to cause confusion but does lead to some incapacity due to laughter.
Last in the Bar: Podge, Tim and Ains.
Good luck to Taj at Stateside passport control.
The Mother's Day showdown.
Home: Tennis Court pitch
Won: 3-1. ( Steve D, Podge, Smudge.)
The bare 11: Mark, Tim, Chris, Taj, Smudge, Roy, Podge, Tonksy, Scholesy, Steve D, Ains.
Not everyone in the hard working Tamps team shared the general view that this was both a competitive game and a good win: Smudge declared that he’d been ‘ bored’ ( hence his flick ups and ‘Have it!’ volleys ) whilst Ains felt he couldn't ‘Get into it’. Roy was the biggest critic however, using his extensive social media presence to lambast the ‘criminals’ he deemed our esteemed opponents to be- no over reaction there to a few committed challenges and the odd knock to his right leg; given the free kicks awarded against him his ‘wounds’ could have been self inflicted.
Crofton had their best spell early on but having dealt with these early thrusts we took control playing some measured football coming forward with purpose. A typical surge down the right from Taj- desperate to give everything to the cause ahead of his trip to NewYork and his expected long detention by U.S. Immigration services – seemed certain to bring the opener. Beating several players he reached the byline putting the perfect ball across the 6 yard box . With the keeper beaten a tap in had been created but Podge and Ains both attempted to effect this with the ball ballooning over the bar from 4 yards out. An impressive miss and Steve D surprisingly not involved at all.
You can't keep him out of the game for long though and after continued Tamps pressure he opened the scoring his poor first touch necessitating a dramatic reverse pike with tuck and overhead kick to steer the ball home.Bravely ignoring the cut to his face he celebrated modestly- something Scholesy could learn from.
Despite Roy’s eccentricities in possession, mazy runs in every direction, our midfield was controlling things and the defence was solid. Mark had hardly been tested by half time.
Scholesy and especially Podge and Tonksy continued to dominate in the middle of the park and we had the bulk of possession and used it well.
Our second is a contender for goal of the season : Tim’s throw in sent Chris moving forward to feed Podge who-25 yards out- looked up , took a touch and powered a fine drive over the despairing keeper and into the top corner.
Having the bare 11 was not showing on the pitch as the whole team worked hard throughout but it did indirectly facilitate the Crofton goal: with no linesman, Stoney resting 5 yards offside was giving the benefit of the doubt and was able to set up an undeserved response. Both Mark and the defence deserved a clean sheet – but it was not to be.
Our third followed the most robust challenge of the day Stoney losing patience on the left with Scholesy’s hustle and bustle and scything him down at hip height. As we flooded the box Smudge whipped in a fine delivery that eluded everyone and zipped in at the far post.
A final score of 3-1 perhaps did not do us justice : we played the football that would have merited a couple more goals at least. Our local rivals had been seen off in style and we look forward to our end of season clash at Welling F.C. in May.
Mark’s Men: A bobbly pitch and a strong easterly wind made for a football feast……or not.A solid Tamps performance with particular praise for the midfield of Tonksy, Podge and Scholesy.
Quotes and Moments:
‘Sorry John.’ Smudge apologises for not getting his timing right.
‘Steve! Steve!... Oh come on!’ Late in the game Scholesy smacks the ball out for a goal kick but expects Steve D – some 30 yards away to get it.
‘Move across, Move across!’ – as ever Mark gives precise and effective instructions to team mates in the wall.
‘I get Hilary to stroke it every night.’ President Lawrence refers to his wand.
Ains gets through a further 90 minutes- he’s a legend.
Our wall does its job at consecutive free kicks. How did that happen!!??!
Stoney’s step over dummy at free kick fails to cause confusion but does lead to some incapacity due to laughter.
Last in the Bar: Podge, Tim and Ains.
Good luck to Taj at Stateside passport control.
19/03/2017 Welcome
Home: Tennis Court pitch.
Won 3-2. (Tonksy, Paul, Scholesy.)
Team: Mark, Roy, Taj,(1/2:injured), Chris, Smudge, John, Tonksy (1/4 – sin binned: swearing and flu key goal) Podge, Steve D, Ains, Paul, Scholesy(1/4: match fitness), Tim.
It’s a funny old game! Steve D only misses a few, Ains plays another 90 minutes, Tonksy shanks the opener, Roy locks up the right hand side of defence, Mark makes two essential and high class first half saves, Scholesy celebrates his goal with modest restraint, Aggro upsets the Wellcome manager,paying scant regard to his flag raising for offside, the oppo open their account in mildly controversial circumstances and we win for the second consecutive home game.
Two late Wellcome goals provided end of match drama and made for a more appropriate scoreline after Tamps had gone 3-0 up midway through the second half. The first half had been a tale of two goalkeepers-Mark twice getting down quickly to stop and gather first a powerful shot and then a forceful header whilst the Wellcome custodian really should have kept out our first two goals- although the wind in our favour proved important- as Paul had predicted at the start of the game.
Good attacking play seemed to have come to an end as Tonksy swung at the ball, it's vertical trajectory as well as his pained cry (‘Oh you c**t!!!’) indicating his seemingly hapless miskick. However, giving the ball flight and distance the wind did enough to drop it over the waving goalie and under the crossbar to open our account. A second similar goal 5 minutes on from Paul was intentional though – he’d urged us to try our luck from distance at the outset- but again the keeper should have done better- as he did when Paul returned a volley from 35 yards that looked destined for the top corner.
Mark’s excellent saves kept us in it but we attacked well creating good situations but not delivering in the box. John was surging down the right regularly and when he didn't run offside Steve D was being freed on the left. Sadly he couldn't pick out a team mate,including failing to see Ains positioned unmarked at the edge of the six yard box. Wellcome looked dangerous at times but the defence did their job well- with Podge and Paul (replacing the disgraced and subbed Tonksy) keeping things tight in the midfield. After an unsettled first 5 or 10 minutes we had most of the play and perhaps deserved the 2-0 lead.
With Taj unable to continue for the second half, a recurrent calf strain the issue, Paul shifted back once again to sweep, forming a good partnership with Chris, strong as ever in the centre of the defence. Smudge had plenty to do with Steve D forgetting he was left midfield but we continued to be solid and effective even with the wind against us.
Our third goal was well worked: Smudge and John combined before Steve D was freed on the left, getting to the byline he not only saw but then found Ains, who had drifted away from his marker, Ains rolled the ball across to Scholesy, now also unmarked and he passed it into the net,giving the keeper no chance.
It looked like we’d score again but Steve D elected to veer away from the goal when he broke clear but Wellcome pulled one back when several Tamps stopped playing as Jimmy, their pacy forward had a power nap in our box. Sportingly ignoring the most basic of the game’s adages- play to the whistle- we allowed their midfielder to smack the ball from distance into the far corner. Scholesy helped to set up the nervy finale when he conceded a free kick for wrestling and from this Tamps generosity extended to failing to clear giving their goal scorer the chance to hook his second into the roof of the net- although this was the last bit of meaningful action in a quite good, indeed moderately engaging, contest. Well played all- with Roy deserving further mention for his one gloved throw ins.
Bits and Pieces
Podge has a very vocal game and almost missed as many as Steve D- including striking the post with the goal at his mercy.
Several contenders for Man of the Match: Roy plays well at right back and only has one tizzy of note- apparently about nothing in particular.
Paul plays well in at least 3 positions, scores again and has good banter with Steve D: ‘That’s how you do it Steve!’ – when Scholesy scored. Some excellent passes too- especially cross field to John and down the left for Steve D.
However, Mark’s crucial saves throughout the game and especially in the first half made the difference and gets him the nod.
Last in the Bar: Ains, seeing off Podge, Smudge and Tim.
Home: Tennis Court pitch.
Won 3-2. (Tonksy, Paul, Scholesy.)
Team: Mark, Roy, Taj,(1/2:injured), Chris, Smudge, John, Tonksy (1/4 – sin binned: swearing and flu key goal) Podge, Steve D, Ains, Paul, Scholesy(1/4: match fitness), Tim.
It’s a funny old game! Steve D only misses a few, Ains plays another 90 minutes, Tonksy shanks the opener, Roy locks up the right hand side of defence, Mark makes two essential and high class first half saves, Scholesy celebrates his goal with modest restraint, Aggro upsets the Wellcome manager,paying scant regard to his flag raising for offside, the oppo open their account in mildly controversial circumstances and we win for the second consecutive home game.
Two late Wellcome goals provided end of match drama and made for a more appropriate scoreline after Tamps had gone 3-0 up midway through the second half. The first half had been a tale of two goalkeepers-Mark twice getting down quickly to stop and gather first a powerful shot and then a forceful header whilst the Wellcome custodian really should have kept out our first two goals- although the wind in our favour proved important- as Paul had predicted at the start of the game.
Good attacking play seemed to have come to an end as Tonksy swung at the ball, it's vertical trajectory as well as his pained cry (‘Oh you c**t!!!’) indicating his seemingly hapless miskick. However, giving the ball flight and distance the wind did enough to drop it over the waving goalie and under the crossbar to open our account. A second similar goal 5 minutes on from Paul was intentional though – he’d urged us to try our luck from distance at the outset- but again the keeper should have done better- as he did when Paul returned a volley from 35 yards that looked destined for the top corner.
Mark’s excellent saves kept us in it but we attacked well creating good situations but not delivering in the box. John was surging down the right regularly and when he didn't run offside Steve D was being freed on the left. Sadly he couldn't pick out a team mate,including failing to see Ains positioned unmarked at the edge of the six yard box. Wellcome looked dangerous at times but the defence did their job well- with Podge and Paul (replacing the disgraced and subbed Tonksy) keeping things tight in the midfield. After an unsettled first 5 or 10 minutes we had most of the play and perhaps deserved the 2-0 lead.
With Taj unable to continue for the second half, a recurrent calf strain the issue, Paul shifted back once again to sweep, forming a good partnership with Chris, strong as ever in the centre of the defence. Smudge had plenty to do with Steve D forgetting he was left midfield but we continued to be solid and effective even with the wind against us.
Our third goal was well worked: Smudge and John combined before Steve D was freed on the left, getting to the byline he not only saw but then found Ains, who had drifted away from his marker, Ains rolled the ball across to Scholesy, now also unmarked and he passed it into the net,giving the keeper no chance.
It looked like we’d score again but Steve D elected to veer away from the goal when he broke clear but Wellcome pulled one back when several Tamps stopped playing as Jimmy, their pacy forward had a power nap in our box. Sportingly ignoring the most basic of the game’s adages- play to the whistle- we allowed their midfielder to smack the ball from distance into the far corner. Scholesy helped to set up the nervy finale when he conceded a free kick for wrestling and from this Tamps generosity extended to failing to clear giving their goal scorer the chance to hook his second into the roof of the net- although this was the last bit of meaningful action in a quite good, indeed moderately engaging, contest. Well played all- with Roy deserving further mention for his one gloved throw ins.
Bits and Pieces
Podge has a very vocal game and almost missed as many as Steve D- including striking the post with the goal at his mercy.
Several contenders for Man of the Match: Roy plays well at right back and only has one tizzy of note- apparently about nothing in particular.
Paul plays well in at least 3 positions, scores again and has good banter with Steve D: ‘That’s how you do it Steve!’ – when Scholesy scored. Some excellent passes too- especially cross field to John and down the left for Steve D.
However, Mark’s crucial saves throughout the game and especially in the first half made the difference and gets him the nod.
Last in the Bar: Ains, seeing off Podge, Smudge and Tim.
12/03/2017 Cudham
Won: 4-2. (Steve D, Taj (2), Clarkie).
Team: Mark TK, Taj, Chris, Baby, Mark Cooper, Pocky, Paul G, Smudger, Roy, Ains, Steve D, Tim.
Subs: Steve D 1/6; Roy 1/3 ( but refused to come back on after his 15 minute slot ); Taj 1/6; Smudge (Injured) 1/3; Clarkie (injured) ¼ ; Tim ¾.
One of the best games of the season. A strong Tamps team performance to hold out a good Cudham side who dominated for long periods but were repelled by Mark TK’s saves, defensive blocks a plenty and critical interventions at the back from Baby and Chris in particular and all over from Taj and Paul G. Cudham were not as clinical in front of goal as us, drifted offside too often but also didn't get the bounce of the ball in front of goal.
Cudham were the stronger from the outset taking the lead about 15 minutes in direct from a corner that evaded everyone to curl in at the far post. Steve D scored a fine equaliser darting in at the near post to flick in Clarkie’s drilled centre after his mazy run down the right to the byline. Roy’s wisdom and foresight enabled our second, refusing to come back on so leaving Taj to continue and to strike home after pressure at a corner from Ains amidst some defensive confusion. Clarkie beat the offside trap in the final minutes of the half racing through to finish expertly, smashing the ball over the advancing keeper into the roof of the . net. 3-1 was a pleasing if flattering scoreline and Cudham could look at both linesmen as having influenced events- with a goal disallowed for handball whilst seeing their man ignore calls for the offside as Clarkie sped through.
Suitable concern- allied to a certain amount of amusement – was shown to our young guest Pocky who was feeling the pace. It had become a long half for the 32 year old(yes, really that age-surprisingly nobody questioned his super vet status) after a dizzying run through the opposition from midway in his own half to the oppo six yard box. Why defenders moved conveniently left and right rather than making an effective challenge was hard to fathom but the slow advance was so funereal that it must have led to confusion. Sadly by the time he had the keeper to beat exhaustion had set in and a potentially glorious moment ended with a routine save to his right by the similarly aged- but presumably much fitter – keeper as Pocky chose placement rather than power. What a run though!!!
Into the second half and Cudham pressure made it 3-2 with plenty of time left- not a great goal from our point of view with most of the team intervening ineffectively: Baby was turned inside out on our left, as the ball fell to him at right back Pocky aired it to the edge of the box, Smudge did little better and to end the misery Roy set up their midfielder for a clean strike.
Cudham looked more likely to score next but couldn't find a way past Mark TK who made a series of fine saves the pick diving full length to his left to touch the drive round the post. Even with Taj moved into centre midfield after Smudge’s injury the defence continued to show collective grit and bite. Mark C excellent at left back won several key challenges and Chris charged down two good strikes in quick succession. We had some good breaks and an injury to the Cudham centre forward also helped our cause. Paul G was everywhere and our resilience merited the decisive goal: Roy became our 6th corner taker and delivered perfectly for Taj to powerfully head home. Cudham possession and pressure characterised the last 10 minutes but for once we remained strong and effective.
Great work by all and a very enjoyable contest.
Captain’s Pick: DI Chris – getting in the way at all the right moments- fine blocks and tackles.
Mark’s Men: A robust team performance with all contributing strongly and a standout performance from two goal Taj.
OSCDT: Top Pass: great ball down the line by Mark C after a tight turn under pressure.
: long ball through the defence from Paul G for Steve D to waste by inviting the tackle!!!!
Top Tackle: The oppo keeper quickly out to Roy.
Quotes and Moments: ‘Roy says he’s not coming on’.
‘ Taj was doing good’. Roy explains himself at half time.
‘Are you sure?’ Aggro to Tim as linesman when he raised the flag for handball after the Cudham forward and then Baby had carried the ball
into the goal.
‘ Really?’ Paul G when told Pocky’s youthful age.
‘ Tim, Tim, … Tim!’ Pocky indicates he needs help with his man late in the second half.
Our biggest crowd of the season: Jack and Lucy, Serge, Steve R etc…
Pocky’s slow motion slalom
Smudge’s injury showing in uncharacteristically mixed set piece delivery.
Baby’s swearing when his goal kicks and passes were not all that he wanted them to be.
Last in the Bar: Smudge, Ains, Chris, Tim.
Won: 4-2. (Steve D, Taj (2), Clarkie).
Team: Mark TK, Taj, Chris, Baby, Mark Cooper, Pocky, Paul G, Smudger, Roy, Ains, Steve D, Tim.
Subs: Steve D 1/6; Roy 1/3 ( but refused to come back on after his 15 minute slot ); Taj 1/6; Smudge (Injured) 1/3; Clarkie (injured) ¼ ; Tim ¾.
One of the best games of the season. A strong Tamps team performance to hold out a good Cudham side who dominated for long periods but were repelled by Mark TK’s saves, defensive blocks a plenty and critical interventions at the back from Baby and Chris in particular and all over from Taj and Paul G. Cudham were not as clinical in front of goal as us, drifted offside too often but also didn't get the bounce of the ball in front of goal.
Cudham were the stronger from the outset taking the lead about 15 minutes in direct from a corner that evaded everyone to curl in at the far post. Steve D scored a fine equaliser darting in at the near post to flick in Clarkie’s drilled centre after his mazy run down the right to the byline. Roy’s wisdom and foresight enabled our second, refusing to come back on so leaving Taj to continue and to strike home after pressure at a corner from Ains amidst some defensive confusion. Clarkie beat the offside trap in the final minutes of the half racing through to finish expertly, smashing the ball over the advancing keeper into the roof of the . net. 3-1 was a pleasing if flattering scoreline and Cudham could look at both linesmen as having influenced events- with a goal disallowed for handball whilst seeing their man ignore calls for the offside as Clarkie sped through.
Suitable concern- allied to a certain amount of amusement – was shown to our young guest Pocky who was feeling the pace. It had become a long half for the 32 year old(yes, really that age-surprisingly nobody questioned his super vet status) after a dizzying run through the opposition from midway in his own half to the oppo six yard box. Why defenders moved conveniently left and right rather than making an effective challenge was hard to fathom but the slow advance was so funereal that it must have led to confusion. Sadly by the time he had the keeper to beat exhaustion had set in and a potentially glorious moment ended with a routine save to his right by the similarly aged- but presumably much fitter – keeper as Pocky chose placement rather than power. What a run though!!!
Into the second half and Cudham pressure made it 3-2 with plenty of time left- not a great goal from our point of view with most of the team intervening ineffectively: Baby was turned inside out on our left, as the ball fell to him at right back Pocky aired it to the edge of the box, Smudge did little better and to end the misery Roy set up their midfielder for a clean strike.
Cudham looked more likely to score next but couldn't find a way past Mark TK who made a series of fine saves the pick diving full length to his left to touch the drive round the post. Even with Taj moved into centre midfield after Smudge’s injury the defence continued to show collective grit and bite. Mark C excellent at left back won several key challenges and Chris charged down two good strikes in quick succession. We had some good breaks and an injury to the Cudham centre forward also helped our cause. Paul G was everywhere and our resilience merited the decisive goal: Roy became our 6th corner taker and delivered perfectly for Taj to powerfully head home. Cudham possession and pressure characterised the last 10 minutes but for once we remained strong and effective.
Great work by all and a very enjoyable contest.
Captain’s Pick: DI Chris – getting in the way at all the right moments- fine blocks and tackles.
Mark’s Men: A robust team performance with all contributing strongly and a standout performance from two goal Taj.
OSCDT: Top Pass: great ball down the line by Mark C after a tight turn under pressure.
: long ball through the defence from Paul G for Steve D to waste by inviting the tackle!!!!
Top Tackle: The oppo keeper quickly out to Roy.
Quotes and Moments: ‘Roy says he’s not coming on’.
‘ Taj was doing good’. Roy explains himself at half time.
‘Are you sure?’ Aggro to Tim as linesman when he raised the flag for handball after the Cudham forward and then Baby had carried the ball
into the goal.
‘ Really?’ Paul G when told Pocky’s youthful age.
‘ Tim, Tim, … Tim!’ Pocky indicates he needs help with his man late in the second half.
Our biggest crowd of the season: Jack and Lucy, Serge, Steve R etc…
Pocky’s slow motion slalom
Smudge’s injury showing in uncharacteristically mixed set piece delivery.
Baby’s swearing when his goal kicks and passes were not all that he wanted them to be.
Last in the Bar: Smudge, Ains, Chris, Tim.
26/02/2017 SANCO
Away: Old Wilsonians
Lost: 0-5.
Team: Mark, Steve R, Taj, Mad Dave, Tim, Roy, Stuart, Smudge, Scholesy, Paul, Steve D.
Not a good scoreline and we made it far too easy for SANCO setting up several of their goals .However, given the oppositions strength and relative youth (Our President had received a call the previous evening reporting that SANCO could not get a team out unless they had several non SuperVets on show- he chose to keep this information to himself.) there was determination and effort from our bare 11. It wasn't wholly so obviously but this was a game that was an enjoyable tough contest at least in parts.
Even before kick off things did not go well – at 9.46 Podge’s text came through : Sorry,feel crap, back to bed (no punctuation in the original obvs.). This not only limited our options but took out a key player who would have provided mobility and bite and, of course, simmering anger.
SANCO had younger players in key positions – up front, sweeping, in centre midfield and at wing back and their football was fluent from the outset. In contrast we produced a series of passes that were not so much wayward as self- harming.2-0 down in the first 10 (if it was that long Ed.) and both should have been avoided- Taj setting up one and Mark not taking the cross to the back post that he could have done- however, most players were guilty of putting others under pressure by inaccurate passes or through choosing the wrong option. We created a few chances but Paul couldn't take the best of them, the SANCO keeper making a good save to win the 1 on 1.
SANCO pressure produced a series of corners that were strongly defended until a mistimed
volley looped high and squeezed into the top corner- possibly the only unguarded part of our goal. 3-0 at half time.
The second half was more of a contest, made so by several very good saves from Mark particularly when their centre forward was set up by Mad Dave’s generous pass to him, and by our better use of the ball. We were winning more challenges with Scholesy in particular recognising he could throw himself into tackles as well as into penalty appeals. We were getting stretched – even before Mad D decided he was going to roam forward to give the ball to the oppo near their area rather than his own. Midway through the half SANCO got their 4th and that should have been it. Unfortunately as we went for the consolation goal their keeper gathered from a corner and punted long. By this point Steve R had been injured- a broken arm was later diagnosed- and Roy was back n defence. With assurance he positioned himself for the long ball but somehow let it go through his legs leaving the forward with a clear run in – his tidy finish giving Mark no chance.
5-0 final score. Most to the bar- Steve R to drive his Aston Martin home one handed, ahead of a long afternoon in casualty.
Notes and quotes
‘He’s got nothing left!’ Mad Dave justifies his forward surges by erroneously claiming that Smudge was too knackered to stay busy in midfield.
‘He’s mad.’ Smudge’s later response says it all.
‘Dave, just mark your man and let Taj sweep – mark your man’. Tim repeatedly fails to get Mad D doing what was hoped for.
‘ I don't know what Roy’s doing!’ Scholesy is confused by Roy’s play. (He certainly isn't the only one- but Scholesy didn't see the Ashburnham Arms game.)
‘ Anybody want to drive Steve’s car back for him ?’ Steve already in a lot of pain goes even paler when this mischievous question is posed.
Photos of the bar food sent to Lyndsey to show what culinary excellence looked like: several partly cooked roast(!!!!????!!!!) potatoes in a small dessert bowl. There had been 3 or 4 darkened sausage ends too.
Thank you to our guests from Avery Hill giving it there all n difficult circumstances: well done Stuart and Dave: it would have been a lot worse without you!
Away: Old Wilsonians
Lost: 0-5.
Team: Mark, Steve R, Taj, Mad Dave, Tim, Roy, Stuart, Smudge, Scholesy, Paul, Steve D.
Not a good scoreline and we made it far too easy for SANCO setting up several of their goals .However, given the oppositions strength and relative youth (Our President had received a call the previous evening reporting that SANCO could not get a team out unless they had several non SuperVets on show- he chose to keep this information to himself.) there was determination and effort from our bare 11. It wasn't wholly so obviously but this was a game that was an enjoyable tough contest at least in parts.
Even before kick off things did not go well – at 9.46 Podge’s text came through : Sorry,feel crap, back to bed (no punctuation in the original obvs.). This not only limited our options but took out a key player who would have provided mobility and bite and, of course, simmering anger.
SANCO had younger players in key positions – up front, sweeping, in centre midfield and at wing back and their football was fluent from the outset. In contrast we produced a series of passes that were not so much wayward as self- harming.2-0 down in the first 10 (if it was that long Ed.) and both should have been avoided- Taj setting up one and Mark not taking the cross to the back post that he could have done- however, most players were guilty of putting others under pressure by inaccurate passes or through choosing the wrong option. We created a few chances but Paul couldn't take the best of them, the SANCO keeper making a good save to win the 1 on 1.
SANCO pressure produced a series of corners that were strongly defended until a mistimed
volley looped high and squeezed into the top corner- possibly the only unguarded part of our goal. 3-0 at half time.
The second half was more of a contest, made so by several very good saves from Mark particularly when their centre forward was set up by Mad Dave’s generous pass to him, and by our better use of the ball. We were winning more challenges with Scholesy in particular recognising he could throw himself into tackles as well as into penalty appeals. We were getting stretched – even before Mad D decided he was going to roam forward to give the ball to the oppo near their area rather than his own. Midway through the half SANCO got their 4th and that should have been it. Unfortunately as we went for the consolation goal their keeper gathered from a corner and punted long. By this point Steve R had been injured- a broken arm was later diagnosed- and Roy was back n defence. With assurance he positioned himself for the long ball but somehow let it go through his legs leaving the forward with a clear run in – his tidy finish giving Mark no chance.
5-0 final score. Most to the bar- Steve R to drive his Aston Martin home one handed, ahead of a long afternoon in casualty.
Notes and quotes
‘He’s got nothing left!’ Mad Dave justifies his forward surges by erroneously claiming that Smudge was too knackered to stay busy in midfield.
‘He’s mad.’ Smudge’s later response says it all.
‘Dave, just mark your man and let Taj sweep – mark your man’. Tim repeatedly fails to get Mad D doing what was hoped for.
‘ I don't know what Roy’s doing!’ Scholesy is confused by Roy’s play. (He certainly isn't the only one- but Scholesy didn't see the Ashburnham Arms game.)
‘ Anybody want to drive Steve’s car back for him ?’ Steve already in a lot of pain goes even paler when this mischievous question is posed.
Photos of the bar food sent to Lyndsey to show what culinary excellence looked like: several partly cooked roast(!!!!????!!!!) potatoes in a small dessert bowl. There had been 3 or 4 darkened sausage ends too.
Thank you to our guests from Avery Hill giving it there all n difficult circumstances: well done Stuart and Dave: it would have been a lot worse without you!
19/02/2017 Ashburnham Arms
Away- Woolwich Barracks.
Draw: 2-2. (Steve D. Smudger ).
Team: Mark, Taj, Chris, Finchy, Tim, Jon, Tonksy, Podge, Roy, Steve D, Paul, Smudge.
A game of few highlights- with the Ash playing to their strengths : long ball, pace, no offsides (see later) and the Tamps playing to their weaknesses : regular errors, lack of composure in and around the box, wasting plentiful possession and being second best in the 50-50s.
After a bright start and a fine opening goal – ball moved forward well and sent to Paul on the right who put in a good cross which Steve D headed home with authority- we lost our way. The Ref- Cyclist Steve chose to have no linesman at all despite our offer to provide one, was never going to be in position to properly adjudge offside, unsettling
us with some poor decisions .However, the Ash equaliser was a self inflicted blow Mark being caught in possession to give their pacy forward a tap in. Smudge inadvertently put us back ahead when his pinpoint cross from the left flew into the net with Paul leaping but making no connection but doing enough to put off their stand in keeper. We should have scored again but Steve D did not repeat his early effort missing a easier header.
Just before half time we lost the influential Tonksy with Jon moving into the centre and Taj pushing on to right midfield. We were still enjoying most of the play and pressure this leading to the first of some comic moments and interesting interpretations by the Ref.
Securing a free kick after the keeper handled outside the box we were somewhat nonplussed to be told that it was indirect. When we suggested it should be a direct free kick- like any handball not in the penalty area- the Ref announced that ‘ It was a technical offence.’ Post truth , fake news and this….
The second half had its significant moment of decision making too: Steve D was put through by Tim’s calculated punt into the box, he rounded the keeper until body slammed by Big Bazza who had taken over as custodian to save himself from any more running. The penalty was immediately given and we felt we’d now settle things…but no, modern ,thoughtful reffing took over. Under no pressure at all, from whining Bazza both mugger and captain,
the Ref bravely changed his mind citing ‘Player reaction’. No penalty- a goal kick. Hmm- not even the Ash players thought that was right but bravely supported the Ref in his alternative reality.
There were other moments in the game but this was the defining one. Both sides hit the woodwork , both had chances to score but only the Ash could do so taking advantage of a further defensive mistake: Finchy failing to clear and Chris falling over-giving Mark no chance as the forward slotted home with assurance.
A frustrating draw- plenty to moan about and a fair bit to laugh at.
Points of Note
Cyclist Steve being the first Ref to recognise the illegality of Roy’s throw in technique and pinging him with regularity.
8 week old Lucy, Tim’s grandchild, attending her first game but fortunately spending the whole time asleep on Jack’s chest, snug in the sling. (She could have been scarred for life).
Good Graham refusing to rescue us – as he did against Crofton – but offering great support in his bright Lycra and racing helmet: claiming he was training.
Smudge almost but not quite showing no emotion when his excellent cross found its way into the net : a twitch and a half smile from the wily Pro.
Some mazy runs by Roy …and very occasionally a pass to a team mate.
Food and cold beer- cheaper than the Roan but bottled only..
The pitch not being as bad on previous occasions but bad enough to make a mockery of Jerry’s claim that the Barracks’ pitches were better than those at the Roan.
Away- Woolwich Barracks.
Draw: 2-2. (Steve D. Smudger ).
Team: Mark, Taj, Chris, Finchy, Tim, Jon, Tonksy, Podge, Roy, Steve D, Paul, Smudge.
A game of few highlights- with the Ash playing to their strengths : long ball, pace, no offsides (see later) and the Tamps playing to their weaknesses : regular errors, lack of composure in and around the box, wasting plentiful possession and being second best in the 50-50s.
After a bright start and a fine opening goal – ball moved forward well and sent to Paul on the right who put in a good cross which Steve D headed home with authority- we lost our way. The Ref- Cyclist Steve chose to have no linesman at all despite our offer to provide one, was never going to be in position to properly adjudge offside, unsettling
us with some poor decisions .However, the Ash equaliser was a self inflicted blow Mark being caught in possession to give their pacy forward a tap in. Smudge inadvertently put us back ahead when his pinpoint cross from the left flew into the net with Paul leaping but making no connection but doing enough to put off their stand in keeper. We should have scored again but Steve D did not repeat his early effort missing a easier header.
Just before half time we lost the influential Tonksy with Jon moving into the centre and Taj pushing on to right midfield. We were still enjoying most of the play and pressure this leading to the first of some comic moments and interesting interpretations by the Ref.
Securing a free kick after the keeper handled outside the box we were somewhat nonplussed to be told that it was indirect. When we suggested it should be a direct free kick- like any handball not in the penalty area- the Ref announced that ‘ It was a technical offence.’ Post truth , fake news and this….
The second half had its significant moment of decision making too: Steve D was put through by Tim’s calculated punt into the box, he rounded the keeper until body slammed by Big Bazza who had taken over as custodian to save himself from any more running. The penalty was immediately given and we felt we’d now settle things…but no, modern ,thoughtful reffing took over. Under no pressure at all, from whining Bazza both mugger and captain,
the Ref bravely changed his mind citing ‘Player reaction’. No penalty- a goal kick. Hmm- not even the Ash players thought that was right but bravely supported the Ref in his alternative reality.
There were other moments in the game but this was the defining one. Both sides hit the woodwork , both had chances to score but only the Ash could do so taking advantage of a further defensive mistake: Finchy failing to clear and Chris falling over-giving Mark no chance as the forward slotted home with assurance.
A frustrating draw- plenty to moan about and a fair bit to laugh at.
Points of Note
Cyclist Steve being the first Ref to recognise the illegality of Roy’s throw in technique and pinging him with regularity.
8 week old Lucy, Tim’s grandchild, attending her first game but fortunately spending the whole time asleep on Jack’s chest, snug in the sling. (She could have been scarred for life).
Good Graham refusing to rescue us – as he did against Crofton – but offering great support in his bright Lycra and racing helmet: claiming he was training.
Smudge almost but not quite showing no emotion when his excellent cross found its way into the net : a twitch and a half smile from the wily Pro.
Some mazy runs by Roy …and very occasionally a pass to a team mate.
Food and cold beer- cheaper than the Roan but bottled only..
The pitch not being as bad on previous occasions but bad enough to make a mockery of Jerry’s claim that the Barracks’ pitches were better than those at the Roan.
12/02/2017 Crofton
Venue: Old Roan – the Quaggy (Graham gave us a pitch.)
Score: 3-3
Team: Mark, Mitch, Taj, Chris, Smudger, John, Tonksy, Podge, Roy, Danny, Paul, Tim, Graham
Subs (Time Off): Tim, Mitch:1/2. Roy1/4
Goal of the Game: 3 good goals- Smudge’s fine long diagonal ball to the far post giving Paul the opportunity to pull one back towards the end of the first half. Graham’s first touch- after an intensely controversial substitution (Roy thought it outrageous- as he made clear by his stomp/ flounce to the changing room)- lashing in our second, a rocket from 12 yards, high into the net at the near post. Paul getting his second, going round the keeper after good play out from the back and a long ball to Steve D to set up what we thought would be the winner.
OSCDT - Top Pass: Smudger’s fine ball for the first goal.
The Match: All glad to play after the fixture had been called off at Crofton but things did not begin well for the Tamps. Crofton were by far the quicker starters and were 2-0 up after 10 minutes benefitting from moving the ball forward quickly,a couple of defensive errors and at least one scuffed shot. Eventually the Tamps began to play pulling one back late in the half but still looking lacklustre and in Roy’s case playing another game. Graham had declared himself unavailable for selection due to injury – however, as he ran impressively round the pitch it became clear that he needed to come to our rescue. Using all his immense diplomatic skills Tim was able to persuade him to take over on the left and Roy to graciously give way. Moments later with Graham’s first touch we were level, taking the lead going into the final 5 minutes. From 2-0 down to 3-2 up an unlikely victory was on the cards. Crofton, though, had played well throughout and exerted pressure which the Tamps could not resist: failing to clear effectively,despite several opportunities to do so a final cross into the box was blocked and then poked just outside the box. Crofton’s big fella (yes, most are large in at least one way or another- but he’s the biggest all round) took a touch, steadied himself and struck the ball into the far corner; 3-3 an appropriate and fair result.
Other points of note: Fine repartee from the Crofton crowd and subs when Mitch played the ball fro the first time : ‘See Gary Glitter hasn't lost his touch.’
The referee, needing to wear a high visibility vest, upsetting Podge greatly- actually that’s not really a point of note.
Roy taking his substitution so well ‘For God’s sake! Why me?’- but getting over it very well and adding to good bar banter.
Crofton’s last quarter linesman showing that he knew how to raise his flag- even if he knew nothing about offside.
Unsurprisingly, Crofton comfortably winning the bar contest but more surprisingly romping to victory in the hair grooming stakes,
Venue: Old Roan – the Quaggy (Graham gave us a pitch.)
Score: 3-3
Team: Mark, Mitch, Taj, Chris, Smudger, John, Tonksy, Podge, Roy, Danny, Paul, Tim, Graham
Subs (Time Off): Tim, Mitch:1/2. Roy1/4
Goal of the Game: 3 good goals- Smudge’s fine long diagonal ball to the far post giving Paul the opportunity to pull one back towards the end of the first half. Graham’s first touch- after an intensely controversial substitution (Roy thought it outrageous- as he made clear by his stomp/ flounce to the changing room)- lashing in our second, a rocket from 12 yards, high into the net at the near post. Paul getting his second, going round the keeper after good play out from the back and a long ball to Steve D to set up what we thought would be the winner.
OSCDT - Top Pass: Smudger’s fine ball for the first goal.
The Match: All glad to play after the fixture had been called off at Crofton but things did not begin well for the Tamps. Crofton were by far the quicker starters and were 2-0 up after 10 minutes benefitting from moving the ball forward quickly,a couple of defensive errors and at least one scuffed shot. Eventually the Tamps began to play pulling one back late in the half but still looking lacklustre and in Roy’s case playing another game. Graham had declared himself unavailable for selection due to injury – however, as he ran impressively round the pitch it became clear that he needed to come to our rescue. Using all his immense diplomatic skills Tim was able to persuade him to take over on the left and Roy to graciously give way. Moments later with Graham’s first touch we were level, taking the lead going into the final 5 minutes. From 2-0 down to 3-2 up an unlikely victory was on the cards. Crofton, though, had played well throughout and exerted pressure which the Tamps could not resist: failing to clear effectively,despite several opportunities to do so a final cross into the box was blocked and then poked just outside the box. Crofton’s big fella (yes, most are large in at least one way or another- but he’s the biggest all round) took a touch, steadied himself and struck the ball into the far corner; 3-3 an appropriate and fair result.
Other points of note: Fine repartee from the Crofton crowd and subs when Mitch played the ball fro the first time : ‘See Gary Glitter hasn't lost his touch.’
The referee, needing to wear a high visibility vest, upsetting Podge greatly- actually that’s not really a point of note.
Roy taking his substitution so well ‘For God’s sake! Why me?’- but getting over it very well and adding to good bar banter.
Crofton’s last quarter linesman showing that he knew how to raise his flag- even if he knew nothing about offside.
Unsurprisingly, Crofton comfortably winning the bar contest but more surprisingly romping to victory in the hair grooming stakes,
05/02/2017 Catford Wanderers (A)
Draw 2-2 Steve D, Graham
Draw 2-2 Steve D, Graham
29/01/17 Welcome (A)
Never before has so much drama been met with such indifference.
Won 6-4 (PaulT (3), Finchy, Steve R, Steve D.) 29.01.17.
Team: Mark, Steve R, Chris, Finchy, Chris, Smudge, Scholesy, Cameron, Paul D, Roy, Steve D, Paul T, Tim.
10 goals, many of them well made and well taken, 2 penalties- both dubious and one missed, countless failures in front of goal, mainly by the Tamps and most by Steve D- yet somehow a lack of excitement…..How did we let Wellcome back into the game? ( oh yes- a range of mistakes, interesting reffing and several contenders for miss of the season….).
Mark’s Man: A polished performance from all concerned and strong work from Finchy at the back but with the Paul and Paul double combination earning the between the sticks vote of confidence today.
Captain’s Pick: MOM: Paul Tate: hat-trick and link up play.
The Second Half: The Squire’s report: ( He missed the first half purchasing an umbrella at the Elmers End Tesco's – to combat the light drizzle.)
Although 3-0 down Wellcome started the second half the strongest and looked like scoring. Roy was seeking improvement by coaching Scholesy on positional play from the touchline. Wellcome were awarded a penalty when the centre forward ran into Tim’s back and scored from the spot. Paul T made it 4-1 before Wellcome stretched our back four and scored a second. In the intervening period Steve D, Paul D, and Scholesy missed around ten one on ones, with Steve D winning the miss of the match with a curious effort from one metre. Steve R scored from a corner with a well directed back post header to make it 5-2 before Wellcome scored two more in rapid time. Scholesy was adjudged to have been taken down by the keeper for a penalty which Chris missed hitting the woodwork. (He should have placed the ball himself…he never misses when he does that.) A late break out enabled Paul T to complete his hat trick and make the match safe: 6-4 the final score.
Points of Note: Another master class as linesman from Benny.
Two interesting disadvantages played by the ref denying Steve D a goal and Wellcome a good break.
Important early saves by Mark as we were slow to settle.
The Wellcome keeper being rather upset and angered by the penalty decision- he’s obviously knows about Scholesy’s capacity to throw himself to the floor.
Roy taking a fine first touch and bearing down on goal with the keeper to beat and no defenders to concern him smashing the ball in the direction of the pavilion.
Steve D – he shoots..he shoots. He shoots etc. If at first – or even thirty third you don't succeed etc.
Some good goals: Finchy turning and volleying home after some penalty area pinball post corner. Paul T putting the ball in the net from 35 yards over a stranded keeper. Steve R’s towering header.
Quotes: Dog walker: About the Tamps: ‘ You were brilliant – you were ripping them to shreds.’ Scholesy: ‘Was it a guide dog?’
Scholesy :’ Oh come on.. Oh, come on…. Oh.’ His complaint about not receiving the ball subsiding as Paul returns it from distance to score.
Never before has so much drama been met with such indifference.
Won 6-4 (PaulT (3), Finchy, Steve R, Steve D.) 29.01.17.
Team: Mark, Steve R, Chris, Finchy, Chris, Smudge, Scholesy, Cameron, Paul D, Roy, Steve D, Paul T, Tim.
10 goals, many of them well made and well taken, 2 penalties- both dubious and one missed, countless failures in front of goal, mainly by the Tamps and most by Steve D- yet somehow a lack of excitement…..How did we let Wellcome back into the game? ( oh yes- a range of mistakes, interesting reffing and several contenders for miss of the season….).
Mark’s Man: A polished performance from all concerned and strong work from Finchy at the back but with the Paul and Paul double combination earning the between the sticks vote of confidence today.
Captain’s Pick: MOM: Paul Tate: hat-trick and link up play.
The Second Half: The Squire’s report: ( He missed the first half purchasing an umbrella at the Elmers End Tesco's – to combat the light drizzle.)
Although 3-0 down Wellcome started the second half the strongest and looked like scoring. Roy was seeking improvement by coaching Scholesy on positional play from the touchline. Wellcome were awarded a penalty when the centre forward ran into Tim’s back and scored from the spot. Paul T made it 4-1 before Wellcome stretched our back four and scored a second. In the intervening period Steve D, Paul D, and Scholesy missed around ten one on ones, with Steve D winning the miss of the match with a curious effort from one metre. Steve R scored from a corner with a well directed back post header to make it 5-2 before Wellcome scored two more in rapid time. Scholesy was adjudged to have been taken down by the keeper for a penalty which Chris missed hitting the woodwork. (He should have placed the ball himself…he never misses when he does that.) A late break out enabled Paul T to complete his hat trick and make the match safe: 6-4 the final score.
Points of Note: Another master class as linesman from Benny.
Two interesting disadvantages played by the ref denying Steve D a goal and Wellcome a good break.
Important early saves by Mark as we were slow to settle.
The Wellcome keeper being rather upset and angered by the penalty decision- he’s obviously knows about Scholesy’s capacity to throw himself to the floor.
Roy taking a fine first touch and bearing down on goal with the keeper to beat and no defenders to concern him smashing the ball in the direction of the pavilion.
Steve D – he shoots..he shoots. He shoots etc. If at first – or even thirty third you don't succeed etc.
Some good goals: Finchy turning and volleying home after some penalty area pinball post corner. Paul T putting the ball in the net from 35 yards over a stranded keeper. Steve R’s towering header.
Quotes: Dog walker: About the Tamps: ‘ You were brilliant – you were ripping them to shreds.’ Scholesy: ‘Was it a guide dog?’
Scholesy :’ Oh come on.. Oh, come on…. Oh.’ His complaint about not receiving the ball subsiding as Paul returns it from distance to score.
08/01/2017
Opponents: Young Tamps . Venue: Home, Changing room show pitch
Score: 0-3
Team: Mark TK, Roy, Mitch, Taj, Chris, Smudge, John, Da Bike, Tonksy, Podge, Charlie, Steve D, Micky DVD, Ains, Steve L, Tim
Steve Rogers transferred to the Young Vets- did all he could to ingratiate himself with his new team mates- seeking a permanent move- even showed his prowess in goal and didn't complain about playing behind Simon. He also missed our best chance when he headed clear instead of notching the O.G. a fine cross and team loyalty called for.
Subs- Time Off: Mark TK- Linesman for the whole game, Tim-3/4, Mitch ½, Roy and Podge- played a full game. Everyone else had a ¼ off.
Match Details: With 4 players 60+, one well into his 60th year and a couple more approaching that watershed the Old Vets put in a great performance against a very fine- if significantly under age Young Tamps team. Clearly worried about the evergreen quality and experience they faced the Young Vets not only played their strongest team in recent seasons ( Steve R not withstanding) but also deployed a couple of players barely in their 30s, one of whom was installed on the left to combat 63 year old Mitch’s telling overlaps.
The Senior team started at pace and enjoyed the better attacking play early on creatively forging a couple of chances for Da Bike- with, remarkably, Steve D’s first 5 touches all sending the ball on to a team mate. The Young Vets inevitably increased their share of possession despite Tonksy (in his words) bossing it and covering every inch. Diligent defence, well timed tackles, random blocks, always solid and at times inspired keeping and an eagle eyed Lino kept the scores level until the Young Vets won back possession as we tried to break clear some 30 minutes in. Then just as the half time whistle should have sounded Charlie- perhaps handicapped by his 1930s shorts and white socks-found himself isolated high on the left leaving plenty of space for Simon to reach the by line and hit the best cross of his life to the back stick where Big Paul G’s strength of personality and no nonsense approach forced the ball into the net.
The second half was again characterised by heroic defensive resistance and commitment – perhaps symbolised by the Legend that is Lockett controlling Tim’s hasty but well struck clearance with his bread basket and despite watering eyes beating several Young Vets as we again broke clear. Receiving little support Ains was still able to hold the ball up and lay it off effectively and DVD could be found all over the midfield. Steve D perhaps took commitment a step too far, squaring up to Paul G after a ‘coming together’. Ironically it was Old Tamp ambition that gave the Young Vets renewed momentum late in the game when a 0-0 second half looked to be the moral victory the Old Vets deserved: John seeing things that others couldn’t played a fine cross field ball to the oppo centre forward. Despite more heroics from Roy the solid but skilful number 10 took advantage of continued pressure and with almost the game’s last kick powered the ball home at the near post.
Aggro – fetchingly dressed in Tim’s black and red kit and pink socks brought a fine sporting contest to an end. The Old Vets had lost but left the field with their heads held high – ready to win, as expected, the day’s main contest comfortably outlasting the Young Vets in the bar.
Men of the Match: Strong performances from many- particularly Podge and Tonksy in midfield, Chris and Taj at the back and Roy in goal. As for the older ones: Age cannot whither them – nor custom stale their infinite variety.
Quotes: ‘There’s one thing he won't do: and that’s cheat!’ Aggro highlights Mark TK’s moral probity when the number 10 sounds off about another blatant offside. (Will Troy ever learn?)
‘I didn't put them in the goal’. Roy explains why he left the Team valuables bag outside. Trust he takes greater care of Club funds!!!
Not in the Bar: Charlie, Taj, John. Last In: Smudge, Ains, Mitch, Podge, Tim.
Next Game: Charter Diamond
Ains, Steve L: don't leave it too long to your next appearance!!
Opponents: Young Tamps . Venue: Home, Changing room show pitch
Score: 0-3
Team: Mark TK, Roy, Mitch, Taj, Chris, Smudge, John, Da Bike, Tonksy, Podge, Charlie, Steve D, Micky DVD, Ains, Steve L, Tim
Steve Rogers transferred to the Young Vets- did all he could to ingratiate himself with his new team mates- seeking a permanent move- even showed his prowess in goal and didn't complain about playing behind Simon. He also missed our best chance when he headed clear instead of notching the O.G. a fine cross and team loyalty called for.
Subs- Time Off: Mark TK- Linesman for the whole game, Tim-3/4, Mitch ½, Roy and Podge- played a full game. Everyone else had a ¼ off.
Match Details: With 4 players 60+, one well into his 60th year and a couple more approaching that watershed the Old Vets put in a great performance against a very fine- if significantly under age Young Tamps team. Clearly worried about the evergreen quality and experience they faced the Young Vets not only played their strongest team in recent seasons ( Steve R not withstanding) but also deployed a couple of players barely in their 30s, one of whom was installed on the left to combat 63 year old Mitch’s telling overlaps.
The Senior team started at pace and enjoyed the better attacking play early on creatively forging a couple of chances for Da Bike- with, remarkably, Steve D’s first 5 touches all sending the ball on to a team mate. The Young Vets inevitably increased their share of possession despite Tonksy (in his words) bossing it and covering every inch. Diligent defence, well timed tackles, random blocks, always solid and at times inspired keeping and an eagle eyed Lino kept the scores level until the Young Vets won back possession as we tried to break clear some 30 minutes in. Then just as the half time whistle should have sounded Charlie- perhaps handicapped by his 1930s shorts and white socks-found himself isolated high on the left leaving plenty of space for Simon to reach the by line and hit the best cross of his life to the back stick where Big Paul G’s strength of personality and no nonsense approach forced the ball into the net.
The second half was again characterised by heroic defensive resistance and commitment – perhaps symbolised by the Legend that is Lockett controlling Tim’s hasty but well struck clearance with his bread basket and despite watering eyes beating several Young Vets as we again broke clear. Receiving little support Ains was still able to hold the ball up and lay it off effectively and DVD could be found all over the midfield. Steve D perhaps took commitment a step too far, squaring up to Paul G after a ‘coming together’. Ironically it was Old Tamp ambition that gave the Young Vets renewed momentum late in the game when a 0-0 second half looked to be the moral victory the Old Vets deserved: John seeing things that others couldn’t played a fine cross field ball to the oppo centre forward. Despite more heroics from Roy the solid but skilful number 10 took advantage of continued pressure and with almost the game’s last kick powered the ball home at the near post.
Aggro – fetchingly dressed in Tim’s black and red kit and pink socks brought a fine sporting contest to an end. The Old Vets had lost but left the field with their heads held high – ready to win, as expected, the day’s main contest comfortably outlasting the Young Vets in the bar.
Men of the Match: Strong performances from many- particularly Podge and Tonksy in midfield, Chris and Taj at the back and Roy in goal. As for the older ones: Age cannot whither them – nor custom stale their infinite variety.
Quotes: ‘There’s one thing he won't do: and that’s cheat!’ Aggro highlights Mark TK’s moral probity when the number 10 sounds off about another blatant offside. (Will Troy ever learn?)
‘I didn't put them in the goal’. Roy explains why he left the Team valuables bag outside. Trust he takes greater care of Club funds!!!
Not in the Bar: Charlie, Taj, John. Last In: Smudge, Ains, Mitch, Podge, Tim.
Next Game: Charter Diamond
Ains, Steve L: don't leave it too long to your next appearance!!
18/12/2016
Opponents: Inter Viagra Venue: Home - Tennis Court pitch
Score: 5-2 (Taj, Steve D 2, Paul, Mark)
Team: Mark, Steve R, Chris ©, Taj, Smudge, Simon, John, Tonksy, Da Bike, Roy, Paul. Scholesy, Steve D, Tim.
Subs (Time Off): Tim, Mark, Tonksy ½; SteveD, Scholesy, Simon, Da Bike, Steve R, Chris :1/4.
Goal of the Game :Contender: Taj- a surging run and powerful drive, very well saved by the keeper but Taj reacted to get to the ball first and clip it expertly inside the far post.
Winner: Steve D- broke into space on the left side and received a well paced pass from Scholesy, took a touch and finished well from about 14 yards.
Captain’s Pick: Paul- was dangerous throughout, worked hard defensively and kept us on the front foot, continued his goal a game scoring record albeit with the help of a fumble from the otherwise excellent keeper. A couple of assists too.
OSCDT-Top Pass: All good but perhaps none absolutely top drawer: Chris advancing from deep and freeing Paul on the right. Paul’s cross to Mark at the far post for our first goal. Scholesy setting Stevie D free for his second goal.
Mark’s Man/Men: Mark keeping and reffing but Paul gets it from Steve D – who didn't complete his hat-trick.Jug avoidance.
Top Tackle: Roy – standing his ground in goal so that the pacy number 7 bounced off him.
Simon surging back and getting the ball at full stretch so saving the defence from work and worry,
Moments of the Match: Top quality reffing from Tim and Mark.
The worst linesman of the season so far- and likely to be the worst of any season.
Honesty from all – particularly for Mark’s goal- given as over the line by several Viagra defenders- confirming Tim’s view even though he wasn't close enough to be certain- at least as ref , he was closer than the linesman who was still near the halfway line.
Several Tamp headers on target- Steve R first (ignoring Taj’s call), then Chris and Steve D.
The oppo transforming the game with two well taken goals after we'd cruised into a 3-0 lead- this leading to some mumbling and grumbling from a few Tamps.
Some excellent saves from the Viagra keeper – particularly from Roy early on- though he wouldn't have got to his header which just went over.
Excellent one on one save from Mark early on to deny their number 7.
Jim scores two for Crofton!
Quotes and Cliches: ‘Can you imagine if that had been the other way round?’ Da Bike – to Scholesy but perhaps their were a few more F words in the actual remarks,
‘It's just awful watching us we’re so slow- just awful really’. Graham gives his view from the touchline.
‘Scholesy has only got one trick….’ Everyone.
‘How can you put your best player as flag bearer?’ Presumably an ironic comment about Steve R starting the second half as linesman.
‘I’ll ref for a half if I play up front for a half’. Roy puts the team’s needs before his own.
‘One of ‘em was a bender – I don't know how I did it. The other came out to me and I just hit it. Could have had a hat- trick’ . Jimmy describes his brace for Crofton.
Best Miss: Their keeper for Paul’s goal – beaten by a slight swerve and just enough pace on the ball for it to cross the line.
Selfish Jug: Scholesy- failing to pass to several well placed team mates but most particularly Mark Da Bike.
Not in the bar: Paul and Scholesy- until much later. Last in the bar: Smudge, Tim, Chris
Next Game: January 8th- probably home and probably Old and Young Tamps mix.
Happy Christmas and a Brilliant New Year to all.
Opponents: Inter Viagra Venue: Home - Tennis Court pitch
Score: 5-2 (Taj, Steve D 2, Paul, Mark)
Team: Mark, Steve R, Chris ©, Taj, Smudge, Simon, John, Tonksy, Da Bike, Roy, Paul. Scholesy, Steve D, Tim.
Subs (Time Off): Tim, Mark, Tonksy ½; SteveD, Scholesy, Simon, Da Bike, Steve R, Chris :1/4.
Goal of the Game :Contender: Taj- a surging run and powerful drive, very well saved by the keeper but Taj reacted to get to the ball first and clip it expertly inside the far post.
Winner: Steve D- broke into space on the left side and received a well paced pass from Scholesy, took a touch and finished well from about 14 yards.
Captain’s Pick: Paul- was dangerous throughout, worked hard defensively and kept us on the front foot, continued his goal a game scoring record albeit with the help of a fumble from the otherwise excellent keeper. A couple of assists too.
OSCDT-Top Pass: All good but perhaps none absolutely top drawer: Chris advancing from deep and freeing Paul on the right. Paul’s cross to Mark at the far post for our first goal. Scholesy setting Stevie D free for his second goal.
Mark’s Man/Men: Mark keeping and reffing but Paul gets it from Steve D – who didn't complete his hat-trick.Jug avoidance.
Top Tackle: Roy – standing his ground in goal so that the pacy number 7 bounced off him.
Simon surging back and getting the ball at full stretch so saving the defence from work and worry,
Moments of the Match: Top quality reffing from Tim and Mark.
The worst linesman of the season so far- and likely to be the worst of any season.
Honesty from all – particularly for Mark’s goal- given as over the line by several Viagra defenders- confirming Tim’s view even though he wasn't close enough to be certain- at least as ref , he was closer than the linesman who was still near the halfway line.
Several Tamp headers on target- Steve R first (ignoring Taj’s call), then Chris and Steve D.
The oppo transforming the game with two well taken goals after we'd cruised into a 3-0 lead- this leading to some mumbling and grumbling from a few Tamps.
Some excellent saves from the Viagra keeper – particularly from Roy early on- though he wouldn't have got to his header which just went over.
Excellent one on one save from Mark early on to deny their number 7.
Jim scores two for Crofton!
Quotes and Cliches: ‘Can you imagine if that had been the other way round?’ Da Bike – to Scholesy but perhaps their were a few more F words in the actual remarks,
‘It's just awful watching us we’re so slow- just awful really’. Graham gives his view from the touchline.
‘Scholesy has only got one trick….’ Everyone.
‘How can you put your best player as flag bearer?’ Presumably an ironic comment about Steve R starting the second half as linesman.
‘I’ll ref for a half if I play up front for a half’. Roy puts the team’s needs before his own.
‘One of ‘em was a bender – I don't know how I did it. The other came out to me and I just hit it. Could have had a hat- trick’ . Jimmy describes his brace for Crofton.
Best Miss: Their keeper for Paul’s goal – beaten by a slight swerve and just enough pace on the ball for it to cross the line.
Selfish Jug: Scholesy- failing to pass to several well placed team mates but most particularly Mark Da Bike.
Not in the bar: Paul and Scholesy- until much later. Last in the bar: Smudge, Tim, Chris
Next Game: January 8th- probably home and probably Old and Young Tamps mix.
Happy Christmas and a Brilliant New Year to all.
11/12/16
Opponents: Farnborough OBG Venue: Away
Score: 1-2 (Paul)
Team: MTK, Taj,GG,DI Chris,SMUDGER,Scholesey, John,Tonksy,Da Bike, Paul, SD
Subs: Roymond, Podge sr, SR
Subs (Time off): Roy for Smudger 20mins / Podge for Tonksy 20mins / SR for Taj 45mins
Tonksy for SD 70
Goal of the Game: Our one was a cracker: From the back, GG into John, onto Da Bike, great ball inside the full back to SD, whose low and hard cross (finally) found Paul arriving on Q to finish.....excellent goal
Captains Pick: John - tireless in both attack and defence, coupled with some crunching tackles.
OSCDT - Top Pass: SMUDGERS crossfield 50 yarder right to Taj's feet (OICDT)
Da Bikes pass inside the full back for the goal was excellent.
Mark's MAN/Men: John - all mentioned above and probably the best half of football by the team this season in the first half.
Top Tackle: Any or Johns or Podges that felled the mighty oak they had in midfield,who went by the moniker of 'Jumbo'.....no clues!!
Moments of the Match: Roy's (non) handball?- Did he or didn't he? Farnborough yelled yes,we cried no.....an optical illusion, Roy had his hands behind MTK who pushed it for a corner, a debate insued, voices were raised, some people flounced around tut tutting, eventually it was deemed no penalty, but it was a fun filled few minutes while it lasted (Editor, seems to be a running theme with most weeks containing a ROY Moment!)
MTK tripping over while retrieving the ball from behind the goal, some horrors in our side did mention that if he had gone down that quickly when diving he would have stopped their first goal,obviously what is said in the bar stays in the bar (but you know who you are GG/SR)
Quotes and Cliches:
Tonsky and SMUDGER to Roy: ''would you have held your hands up if you were guilty?''
Podge to the Oppo's thespian as he dramatically went to exit stage left calling us cheats ''bye bye ya tosser' (Wilde at his wittiest could not have done better)
Scholesy to Jumbo and he lay prone after yet another John/Podge assault- If you need a massage I hear Roy is good with his hands, BOOM BOOM (Brush at his best could not have delivered the line better)
SMUDGER in bar to anyone who cared to listen: what with MTK's white golves, and Roy's black hands I thought I was watching a minstral show (this sort of comment now allowed in post BREIXT times)
Best Miss: MTB managed to totally miss his kick when no more than a foot from the line, and no keeper to beat.
Podge header from 6 yards - he did have the sun in his eyes.
Selfish Jug: SD overhead kick from 20yards, when anything but that was a better option
Not in bar: Paul, MTB, Roymond, Scholesy Last in bar: SMUDGER and DI Chris
Next Game: Inter Vyagra (A game we should all be up for) at Home No Available: GG
04/12/2016
Opponents: Charlton Rangers Venue: Queen Mary’s Ground, Perry Street
Score: Won 5-2 (S Doyle, Simon, Scholesy, Paul, OG)
Team: Mark, Tim, Taj, Chris ©, Roy, Simon, John, Smudge, Da Bike, Steve D, Paul, Scholesy, Graham.
Subs (Time Off): Scholesy, Graham, Da Bike, Steve D, Smudge :1/4; Tim ¾.
Goal of the Game: A tough choice: Steve D finally prodding one in after several significant – just the keeper to beat- opportunities- he didn't have to do much fortunately, but there was good build up play and a good run and pass from Da Bike.
Simon, a rare event getting on the score sheet and worth a mention as he wisely ran the 50 yards to get in the box for the tap in after the keeper (again) saved from Steve D.
Scholesy, guiding the ball in at the near post, a clinical and controlled finish, his first touch in the game and again after good attacking play and a fine bail in from Paul. HOWEVER- Scholesy’s excessive celebrations that delayed the kick off for several minutes count against him.
Paul- opening the scoring after a good ball into the box from an unlikely source.
WINNER- a brilliant O. G. passed authoritatively and with due deliberation into the net giving his own fine keeper no chance – we’ll take that, thank you.
Captain’s Pick and Mark’s Man /Men: The Editor’s write up this week as no post match record made: Paul made a strong difference again up front, John covered the whole pitch, won a lot of ball and used it well, Good Graham straight off the red eye from Florida, perhaps slightly slower than usual but not surprising given a week of cultural sight –seeing,
Chris also strong in defence- including covering more than one or two team mates’ mistakes.
MOM: Simon, bravely returned to the Old Vets , having been selected at left back on his previous escape from the Young Vets- a powerful force on the right side throughout- even coping with Taj’s unusually haphazard play at right back . Excellent Simon- thank you.
OSCDT-Top Pass: Plenty of good stuff from our usual creatives- Paul, Smudge and Graham but joint winners a surprising trio: Scholesy a good ball for Steve D to run onto, creating a one on one ( guess what happened next), Roy to Scholesy taking out a couple of defenders and most surprisingly Tim, claiming the loose ball with a booming call and finding Paul first time leaving him with only a little to do such was the quality of the pass. (Who writes this???!!! )
Top Tackle: John, fully recovered from the previous week’s aberration , winning plenty of ball and keeping the Charlton youth players in check. But Chris gets the award again with a hugely important goal saving tackle in the box- had to get it right, … And he did so.
Moments of the Match: Graham rudely startling Roy by both passing the ball to him and expecting him to do something with it.
Scholesy occasionally remembering in the second half that he had midfield rather than centre forward responsibilities.
Da Bike almost rising like a salmon to head in but again getting distracted by one of his lenses falling out.
Smudge- using half a tub of Vick to make sure we all knew he wasn't feeling to good- but still (according to him) giving a midfield masterclass.
Taj, reaching the tree tops with one second half ‘pass’.
Graham in another time zone as he slid across to win the ball – as he so often does –but this time- left for dead by their 24 (yes, 24 year old!!) who stayed on his feet but smacked the cross into the trees.
Roy’s remarkable tackle with his heel.
The Bromance on the Left Side – Roy and Scholesy – the ‘friendship’ deepens.
Quotes and Cliches: None recorded-perhaps we were having to focus too much with several pairs of very young legs in the opposition. Perhaps we should do this a bit more as we played well -3-0 up at half time and even when Charlton got a goal back- Mark had no chance for either strike- we scored next to keep the game safe.
Several shouts of: ‘Come on , Roy!!
Best Miss: really should be Da Bike but Steve D again nicks it for quantity.
kSelfish Jug: Scholesy can’t be faulted for a finely controlled finish guided to perfection just inside the post but wheeling away, arm aloft and running the length of the pitch before texting his Missus- well, hasn't he heard of the Mannikin? Less is more.
Not in the bar: Most : Steve D in both , Mark in Queen Mary's , Simon, Graham , Taj, John, Tim and Smudge back to the Roan to wish Jim –HAPPY BIRTHDAY!. Smudge left with Liverpool 3-1 up . Tim and Graham last in.
Next Game: Farnborough –away. Not Available: Tim, The Squire.
Old Tamponians 27/11/16
Opponents: Farnborough Venue: Home. Tennis court pitch.
Score: 0-6. But match abandoned due to significant age inappropriate violence.Or so we'd wish.
Team: Mark, Steve R, Taj, Chris ©,Da Bike, John, Smudge, Tonksy, Roy, Steve D, Scholesy, Tim.
Subs (Time Off): Tim ½. Steve R, Chris ¼.
Goal of the Game: A rare blank for the Tamps. Several good strikes from Farnborough. Two in the second half – left drive and shot over the advancing keeper when under pressure from defenders. Two well made and well taken goals in the first half. One tap in we won't want to remember…..
Captain’s Pick: Taj- kept trying and wanting the ball. Will we get him further forward in a game soon?
OSCDT-Top Pass: Chris – for the second game running- and again with the left foot. Perfectly floated over the defence for Scholesy to anticipate and run in on goal. Scholesy, however, didn't move.
Mark’s Man/Men: All hands to the pump attempting to stop the Farnborough tidal wave- a youthful and extensive squad- coming forward. Good defensive duties from Da Bike, Chris, Steve R and Taj. Tonksy and Smudge both did well in central midfield.
Top Tackle: Several contenders: John’s last violent act of the game. Tim’s stretch – deemed a fair and good tackle by the forward but obviously a foul according to the ref. Winner: Roy upsetting another opponent – this time their no. 16 who felt hard done by;perhaps because it's so rare for Roy to be so clinical (and fair) when he flattens his man.
Moments of the Match: Obvs not too many from a Tamps point of view :
Pushing forward Smudge had a couple of shots- the first could have merited the Selfish Jug- high, wide and ugly but the second was at least in the general direction of goal.
Some good corners and one good cross from Scholesy.
Roy showing unusual restraint when the no 16 got his toys out of the pram.
Steve D’s visionary flick over his head – finesse without looking: goal kick.
Tonksy remembering at the last moment that he’s not allowed to shoot and flicking the ball in the general direction of the goal instead.
John’s last ‘tackle’ giving the no 16 every reason to be upset and leading to handbags (Well done no7- acting your age) and the game’s abandonment as a draw.
Quotes and Cliches: ‘I saw it!’ Aggro- when it is suggested that he didn't see the foul on Tim that the oppo player was apologising for.
‘Your man Chris!’ Roy- after his left midfield man has run 40 yards past him-and even though Chris was already marking the centre half.
‘ I wanted to see at least one shot in the stats – even it was off target’. Smudge justifies his wayward first half effort.
Best Miss: All those Tamps who were unavailable.
Tim’s header from a corner- as usual no direction little power.
Roy: first half – in on goal but took one touch too many and didn't test the keeper.
Selfish Jug: All those Tamps who were unavailable for this game with unacceptable excuses ranging from work, broken toe, broken wrist, cabin delivery to warm weather training in Florida. You missed the most enjoyable 0-6 defeat we’ve played in.
Not in the bar: John- guilt and shame and preparing his apology to the team, Farnborough and the F.A.
Last in the bar: Tim, Smudge and as an almost unbelievable first: Tonksy.
Next Game: Charlton Rangers (Perry Street). Not Available: Steve R, Tonksy (second half), Podge, Baby, The Squire.
Old Tamponians 13/11/16
Opponents: Metrogas Venue: Forty Footway, Avery Hill Road. SE9 2EX
Score: 2-1 (Scholesy)
Team: Mark, Steve R, ChriS © , Taj, Roy, Smudge, Tonksy, John, Da Bike, Steve D, Paul, Scholesy, Tim.
Subs (Time Off): Scholesy, Steve D, Roy, Da Bike: all ¼. Tim.
Goal of the Game: They all count! Having won a free kick on the left 10 yards into the Metrogas half Smudge’s well flighted ball broke to Paul. His fierce strike from a narrow angle was blocked by the keeper but fell to Scholesy at the far post. Stifling his natural instinct to throw himself to the floor, arms flailing, he side footed the ball into the unguarded goal. Left foot too- and from as much as 4 yards……Turning away he raised his arm in triumph but perhaps realised that the tap in didn't warrant a full lap of honour.
Captain’s Pick : 1st half MOM : Mark the Bike – worked hard throughout.
Overall MOM: Mark the Keeper – two very good saves, including a very fine one on one, kept us in the game.
OSCDT-Top Pass: Chris’ left footed cross- field drive to Scholesy on the opposite wing: he made nothing of it,
Paul’s reverse ball into Steve D almost made something out of nothing
Mark’s Man/Men: A credible performance reflecting the rigorous Thursday night training regime. The view from the sticks gave no individual standing out- everyone put in a heroic shift,
Top Tackle: Roy- selflessly risking a leg injury when Kung Fu- ing the oppo Skipper in the head. Powelly is getting soft – how was that worth a free kick? There wasn't that much blood. (You should have seen him with Serge!
Moments of the Match: Too many late arrivals- Tonksy, Roy the worst- fines will be introduced.
A minutes silence on Armistice Sunday- we are happy to take the consequences of any FIFA investigation.
The Metrogas keeper picking up an obvious back pass- the free kick wasted.
Sustained resistance through the first half particularly during a series of corners and free kicks, headers won , blocks made- particularly by Taj.
The goal- 1-0 up at half time – and for the first 25 minutes of the second half.
Two excellent saves from Mark – low down to his right and then at the forward’s feet as he surged into the box and looked certain to finish. THE SAVE OF THE SEASON SO FAR?
John hits the bar but we (Scholesy) can't convert the rebound.
He’s still got it !!! Smudger received the ball under pressure on the edge of the box and with a dummy, a sway, a drag back – and a look to check we’d all noticed- he evaded the very close attention of at least two opponents before nonchalantly stroking the ball over to Roy on the right touch line . Cue Show Boat compilation.
Two well taking goals as we tired- the winner coming in the last five minutes and the first with the arrival of Graham ‘Albatross’ Lawrance.
Tonksy has learned his lesson – no shots today.
Roy’s supportive shouts from the touchline in the third quarter provided great motivation to all.
Quotes and Cliches: President’s Comments: after the non sequiturs have been edited: ‘ I turned up – as I got out of the car Tamps are 1-0 up- by the time I got to the gate of the ground:1-1. Typical of the spineless Tamps let a late goal in too!( What do we expect with the current management??! ) Would never have happened a few years ago. ‘
‘Get the line up!’ Tim urges the defence to get up the pitch.
‘He goes down like an old woman!’ Steve Gritt uses al his experience to accurately assess Scholesy’ strength.
Best Miss: Nothing of note – a shame Scholesy couldn't get to the rebound after John’s shot.
All in the bar. Last in: Tim, Chris and Smudge.
Next game: West Farleigh Not Available: Tonksy, Smudge.
Old Tamponians 2016-17 06.11.16
Opponents: Met Police Venue: Home – Tennis Court
Score: 1-2. (Chris- penalty)
Perhaps a game we didn't deserve to win but not one we deserved to lose. Set up both their goals in different ways and Mark had little to do other than from corners and free kicks. However, we didn't put their keeper under much pressure either – despite a lot of possession and plenty of opportunities to put in a decent cross or final pass. Needed more unity and drive.
Team: Mark, Chris, Graham, Smudge, Steve R, John, Tonksy, Baby, Roy, Stevie D, Da Bike, Scholesy, Tim.
Subs (Time Off): Scholesy, Stevie D- ¼. Roy ½- reffing Steve R 1/3 Tim 2/3 – including ½ reffing.
Goal of the Game: Chris his usual composed confident self- usual pen- low, hard to the keeper’s left. A rare moment of competence from us in this game!
Captain’s Pick: A very poor, lacklustre performance. The centre midfield 3 worked hard; Tonksy nicks it for always wanting the ball and getting us going forward -shame about his corners and shooting.
OSCDT-Top Pass: Sadly whilst there were occasions of effective passing more memorable was our ability to pass to the oppo or into touch or cross to give their keeper catching practise.
Mark’s Man/Men: A disappointing result but some excellent closing down and running from John and with some timely tackles and blocks from Chris.
Top Tackle: Graham – yet again – first half getting across to the player breaking on the right in the nick of time and – yet again- when it didn't look like he was going to: a lesson in commitment.
Moments of the Match: A cruel bobble that led to Graham both taking the pace off the ball and passing it to the grateful goal scorer- 0-1.
Another well-taken penalty by Chris – after Roy reffing with silent authority spotted the handball and made the strong decision.
Scholesy’s mazy first half run down and cutting in from the right bamboozling even himself and prodding the ball out for a goal kick.
Comedy gold from Tim – see below.
Handbags!! Baby’s back and he’s having a row.
Mark da Bike almost getting on the end of a good through ball but thwarted by the keeper who came out very quickly- a very good piece of work.
Scholesy getting very worked up towards the end of the first half as he felt the defence needed to ‘get the fucking ball clear’ rather than passing it about close to goal.
Quotes and Cliches: ‘We’re fucking shit!’ – and many other similar mumbles and statements of displeasure from Da Bike.
‘I'd like to see the Opta stats.’ Graham challenges Da Bike’s half time assessment regarding our play.
‘I’m not the most intelligent of people.’ Scholesy- he wasn't contradicted.
‘Linford Christie wouldn't have got there’ ‘True Steve- but you’re more Agatha Christie’. A first half exchange between Tim – reffing – and Steve R.
‘Must be a fantastic atmosphere there- what a place to be!’ (And many similar) Graham standing next to our two Arsenal season ticket holders as they watch the North London derby in the bar. (For the record Scholesy had first shout on the tickets and sold them on, without telling Steve R, such is his dedication to the Tamps and drinking on a Sunday afternoon.)
Best Miss: Blinded by the sun- and working on the sound of the ball hitting the ground near him on the edge of the six yard box Tim failed to connect despite an extravagant left footed volley. Just edges another leaning back blast it over the bar by Steve D after some good play and a flick on by Baby.
Selfish Jug: Scholsey’s mazy run – ignoring all team mates and putting it out for a goal kick when he'd had enough is worth a mention and it cannot be long before Tonksy is punished for all those (they seem endless) shots.
Not in the bar: Da Bike. Last in : Tim, Scholesy, Smudge and Graham
Next game: Metrogas. Not available: Baby, The Squire (broken toe).
Opponents: Met Police Venue: Home – Tennis Court
Score: 1-2. (Chris- penalty)
Perhaps a game we didn't deserve to win but not one we deserved to lose. Set up both their goals in different ways and Mark had little to do other than from corners and free kicks. However, we didn't put their keeper under much pressure either – despite a lot of possession and plenty of opportunities to put in a decent cross or final pass. Needed more unity and drive.
Team: Mark, Chris, Graham, Smudge, Steve R, John, Tonksy, Baby, Roy, Stevie D, Da Bike, Scholesy, Tim.
Subs (Time Off): Scholesy, Stevie D- ¼. Roy ½- reffing Steve R 1/3 Tim 2/3 – including ½ reffing.
Goal of the Game: Chris his usual composed confident self- usual pen- low, hard to the keeper’s left. A rare moment of competence from us in this game!
Captain’s Pick: A very poor, lacklustre performance. The centre midfield 3 worked hard; Tonksy nicks it for always wanting the ball and getting us going forward -shame about his corners and shooting.
OSCDT-Top Pass: Sadly whilst there were occasions of effective passing more memorable was our ability to pass to the oppo or into touch or cross to give their keeper catching practise.
Mark’s Man/Men: A disappointing result but some excellent closing down and running from John and with some timely tackles and blocks from Chris.
Top Tackle: Graham – yet again – first half getting across to the player breaking on the right in the nick of time and – yet again- when it didn't look like he was going to: a lesson in commitment.
Moments of the Match: A cruel bobble that led to Graham both taking the pace off the ball and passing it to the grateful goal scorer- 0-1.
Another well-taken penalty by Chris – after Roy reffing with silent authority spotted the handball and made the strong decision.
Scholesy’s mazy first half run down and cutting in from the right bamboozling even himself and prodding the ball out for a goal kick.
Comedy gold from Tim – see below.
Handbags!! Baby’s back and he’s having a row.
Mark da Bike almost getting on the end of a good through ball but thwarted by the keeper who came out very quickly- a very good piece of work.
Scholesy getting very worked up towards the end of the first half as he felt the defence needed to ‘get the fucking ball clear’ rather than passing it about close to goal.
Quotes and Cliches: ‘We’re fucking shit!’ – and many other similar mumbles and statements of displeasure from Da Bike.
‘I'd like to see the Opta stats.’ Graham challenges Da Bike’s half time assessment regarding our play.
‘I’m not the most intelligent of people.’ Scholesy- he wasn't contradicted.
‘Linford Christie wouldn't have got there’ ‘True Steve- but you’re more Agatha Christie’. A first half exchange between Tim – reffing – and Steve R.
‘Must be a fantastic atmosphere there- what a place to be!’ (And many similar) Graham standing next to our two Arsenal season ticket holders as they watch the North London derby in the bar. (For the record Scholesy had first shout on the tickets and sold them on, without telling Steve R, such is his dedication to the Tamps and drinking on a Sunday afternoon.)
Best Miss: Blinded by the sun- and working on the sound of the ball hitting the ground near him on the edge of the six yard box Tim failed to connect despite an extravagant left footed volley. Just edges another leaning back blast it over the bar by Steve D after some good play and a flick on by Baby.
Selfish Jug: Scholsey’s mazy run – ignoring all team mates and putting it out for a goal kick when he'd had enough is worth a mention and it cannot be long before Tonksy is punished for all those (they seem endless) shots.
Not in the bar: Da Bike. Last in : Tim, Scholesy, Smudge and Graham
Next game: Metrogas. Not available: Baby, The Squire (broken toe).
Old Tamponians 2016-17 30.10.16
Opponents: SANCO Venue: Home, Tennis Court pitch.
Score: 3-2. (Da Bike, Paul 2)
A well earned win with good contributions from all and very strong ones from several. Strong competitive opposition with a lively (25?), young (30?) forward (40?!! Is he called Peter, does he have a painting in his attic??!!) who found it hard to get out of Graham’s pocket.
Team: Mark, Steve R, Chris, Mitch, Taj, John, Tonksy, Steve D, Da Bike, Paul, The Squire, Roy, Tim.
Subs: Mitch ½, Tim 1/1, The Squire, Roy, Paul, Graham, Taj, Steve R ¼.
Goal of the Game: 3 good ones but the pick Paul’s first: some interesting interplay in the back third until Steve D took control to save our blushes picking up the ball from the ditherers, and surging forward in an unerring Forrest straight line run as flummoxed defenders slipped to his left and right;as he neared the box he saw Paul’s well taken position and actually – WITH INTENT- slipped the ball to him, a fine assist. Paul made a reasonable chance look easy with a powerful cross shot, curling in at the far post giving a good keeper no chance. Another strong contender for goal of the season.
Captain’s Pick: Great work from John today- my MOM. Tonksy was lively, but then he thought he had no one to mark. Roy is also worth a mention the morning after his 58th birthday bash, slightly late and after only 4 hours sleep- thank goodness the clocks went back- he played on the left, he played on the right and…. He had a quarter up front.
OSCDT - Top Pass: Steve D’s assist to Paul for our second goal – remarkably, perfectly judged and weighted. Also a very good one – two with Paul’s back heeled flick giving Steve D the chance to hit a strong first time drive that was well saved. For what happened next see below.
Mark’s Man/Men: A top notch performance from all concerned – except the goalkeeper – see below- with Paul our striking talisman taking the award this week.
Top Tackle: Some great last ditch tackles from Taj; a strong effort by Roy- on his team mate Paul; consistently well timed interventions from Graham – particularly on their underage forward. Some robust stuff from Steve R- perhaps unfortunate to be penalised!!!
Moments of the Match: Roy’s late arrival: “ Slight hangover, had to empty the car from the night before “.
Mitch’s distinguished arrival pitch side: waxed jacket, deer stalker, scarf: ready for all conditions – and looking every inch our oldest Tampon.
Roy running down the wing, dominating the opposition and passing a perfect ball to Mark Da B who ran the wrong way. ( The rest of us recall the ‘runs’ but the passes going to the defenders, if they stayed in play.)
An excellent opening goal neatly slipped past the keeper by Da B after good team pressure to win the ball and some good interchange to work the ball into the box.
Steve D had the chance to lay down his challenge for Goal of the Season as we again outran and out passed the oppo- Chris stepped over the ball giving the Doylemeister a must score moment- but he leant back, ‘struck’ the ball with the outside of his left (surprise!) foot- high wide and very disappointing.
Mark’s moment: a weakly hit shot reasonably straight- but as he dived on it the ball slipped away /was thrown over the line- it didn't reach the net.
Oppo’s first goal : a corner that should have been a goal kick- Tonksy felt it was beneath him to challenge or mark his man- he did what he normally does on the post:stand there.
Quotes: ‘ Oh Mark – no! No! …….Oh no, no!’ Taj sensed what was to happen for their second goal- had he seen it before????!!!
‘Micky’s! Yeah- no! Yeah – oh no!’ The Squire as he fails to get to the ball.
‘ I don't know why we don't build our team around Roy.’ Steve R.
‘Shake hands Ref?’ ( SANCO skipper) ‘I don't shake hands.’ ( Aggro’s friendly response.)
Best Miss: As judged by brother Taj : John blazing over the bar after Steve D’s shot ( see above) was saved after the best move of the game.
Selfish Jug: Nominations : Tonksy - all those shots and none of them close- seems that goal at Erith was the fluke we suspected it might be!
Roy: fashion victim ( and much quieter than normal, particularly in his dealings with the ref) – short sleeves and gloves!!!
ALL IN THE BAR LAST IN: Graham, Mitch, Steve R, Tim.
NEXT GAME: Met Police (Home). Not Available : Mitch, Paul.
Opponents: SANCO Venue: Home, Tennis Court pitch.
Score: 3-2. (Da Bike, Paul 2)
A well earned win with good contributions from all and very strong ones from several. Strong competitive opposition with a lively (25?), young (30?) forward (40?!! Is he called Peter, does he have a painting in his attic??!!) who found it hard to get out of Graham’s pocket.
Team: Mark, Steve R, Chris, Mitch, Taj, John, Tonksy, Steve D, Da Bike, Paul, The Squire, Roy, Tim.
Subs: Mitch ½, Tim 1/1, The Squire, Roy, Paul, Graham, Taj, Steve R ¼.
Goal of the Game: 3 good ones but the pick Paul’s first: some interesting interplay in the back third until Steve D took control to save our blushes picking up the ball from the ditherers, and surging forward in an unerring Forrest straight line run as flummoxed defenders slipped to his left and right;as he neared the box he saw Paul’s well taken position and actually – WITH INTENT- slipped the ball to him, a fine assist. Paul made a reasonable chance look easy with a powerful cross shot, curling in at the far post giving a good keeper no chance. Another strong contender for goal of the season.
Captain’s Pick: Great work from John today- my MOM. Tonksy was lively, but then he thought he had no one to mark. Roy is also worth a mention the morning after his 58th birthday bash, slightly late and after only 4 hours sleep- thank goodness the clocks went back- he played on the left, he played on the right and…. He had a quarter up front.
OSCDT - Top Pass: Steve D’s assist to Paul for our second goal – remarkably, perfectly judged and weighted. Also a very good one – two with Paul’s back heeled flick giving Steve D the chance to hit a strong first time drive that was well saved. For what happened next see below.
Mark’s Man/Men: A top notch performance from all concerned – except the goalkeeper – see below- with Paul our striking talisman taking the award this week.
Top Tackle: Some great last ditch tackles from Taj; a strong effort by Roy- on his team mate Paul; consistently well timed interventions from Graham – particularly on their underage forward. Some robust stuff from Steve R- perhaps unfortunate to be penalised!!!
Moments of the Match: Roy’s late arrival: “ Slight hangover, had to empty the car from the night before “.
Mitch’s distinguished arrival pitch side: waxed jacket, deer stalker, scarf: ready for all conditions – and looking every inch our oldest Tampon.
Roy running down the wing, dominating the opposition and passing a perfect ball to Mark Da B who ran the wrong way. ( The rest of us recall the ‘runs’ but the passes going to the defenders, if they stayed in play.)
An excellent opening goal neatly slipped past the keeper by Da B after good team pressure to win the ball and some good interchange to work the ball into the box.
Steve D had the chance to lay down his challenge for Goal of the Season as we again outran and out passed the oppo- Chris stepped over the ball giving the Doylemeister a must score moment- but he leant back, ‘struck’ the ball with the outside of his left (surprise!) foot- high wide and very disappointing.
Mark’s moment: a weakly hit shot reasonably straight- but as he dived on it the ball slipped away /was thrown over the line- it didn't reach the net.
Oppo’s first goal : a corner that should have been a goal kick- Tonksy felt it was beneath him to challenge or mark his man- he did what he normally does on the post:stand there.
Quotes: ‘ Oh Mark – no! No! …….Oh no, no!’ Taj sensed what was to happen for their second goal- had he seen it before????!!!
‘Micky’s! Yeah- no! Yeah – oh no!’ The Squire as he fails to get to the ball.
‘ I don't know why we don't build our team around Roy.’ Steve R.
‘Shake hands Ref?’ ( SANCO skipper) ‘I don't shake hands.’ ( Aggro’s friendly response.)
Best Miss: As judged by brother Taj : John blazing over the bar after Steve D’s shot ( see above) was saved after the best move of the game.
Selfish Jug: Nominations : Tonksy - all those shots and none of them close- seems that goal at Erith was the fluke we suspected it might be!
Roy: fashion victim ( and much quieter than normal, particularly in his dealings with the ref) – short sleeves and gloves!!!
ALL IN THE BAR LAST IN: Graham, Mitch, Steve R, Tim.
NEXT GAME: Met Police (Home). Not Available : Mitch, Paul.
Old Tamponians: 2016-17 16.10.16
Opponents. Erith Venue: Home: Tennis Court
Score: 1-1. (Paul).
Team: Mark, Graham, Chris, Steve R, Mitch, Steve D, Mitch, The Squire, Micky DVD, Da Bike, Clive, Tonksy, Taj, Smudge, Roy, Paul, Tim. (Just the 17- with Scholsey pulling out again.)
Subs (time off): Roy, Steve D, Mitch, Smudge, Mick DVD, Paul : ½. Tonksy, Clive, Da Bike, Taj, Steve R :1/4. Chris, Tim 3/4.
Goal of the Game: The only choice but a bit of a stunner: controlled possession, good cross in from Steve R, crucial contribution by Roy- dummying it/missing it/ getting a defence beating touch, slammed in from just inside the box by Paul half- volley on the turn – the excellent keeper only able to react after it hit the net.
Captain’s Pick: My M.O.M. today was Matthew who was at a season’s peak of anger but tried to keep the team going. On another day we would (…and should?..) have won 5 or 6-1.
OSCDT- Top pass. Steve R’s ball in – see above – is a contender as is the return from Paul to Podge- see below, but selected is Clive’s perfectly judged and executed headed lay off also to Podge
Mark’s man/men: Apart from the goal solid defence, the basis for a lot of possession but like last week not enough incision in the final third. Mark Da Bike would add too much long ball and/or Hollywood passes rather than playing to feet.
Top tackle: Podge, early on, nicking the ball with a perfect sliding tackle – given as a free kick. WHY????
Moments of the Match: 9.33 a.m. Mitch arrives expecting to be in the warm with a cup of tea. 10 10 a.m. Tom remembers he has the key to open the changing rooms for the six assembled and now windswept teams. The future of Lawrance and Lawrance looks bright.
Great save from their keeper after sharp 1-2 between Paul and Podge- fine strike.
Mark eventually dealing with a rolled back pass, some fumbling and scrabbling.
Somewhat comical opening goal triggering excessive celebration from Erith. Wayne given more than enough time to cross into the box giving Tamps plenty of time to let two attackers opportunity to prod the ball home. Not only had we not got out or marked after the corner but at least one defender was off the pitch behind the goal line. And what was Steve D doing?!!?
It wasn't apparent at the time but a broken wrist for Podge when he was brought down advancing to the edge of the box. No foul- obvs.
A late chance falls to Tonksy- what will he do?- see below.
Two of our best efforts , needing very good saves, were from Erith defenders.
Quotes and Cliches: ‘What exactly am I being criticised for?’ The Squire plays his own game.
‘Gaining yardage.’ Tonksy on that ‘shot’.
‘They were intentional’. The Squire defends his stubbed along the ground- almost to the near post- corners.
‘Graham passed a little better today –and his tackle is really good’. More shrewd analysis and insight from the bar staff.
Most definitely a game we should have won- and won comfortably.
Best miss: Nothing stand out in front of goal – that in itself tells a story. Paul’s free kick wasn't the best. Smudger’s first 5-6 passes missed their target- not by much, of course.
Selfish jug: Tonksy’s shot could be mentioned but generally sensible if uninspiring team play.
Not in the bar: Paul, Da Bike, DVD. Last in the bar : The Squire, Smudge, Chris, Tim
Next game: Santos Not available: Podge, Tim, Smudge, Paul.
Opponents. Erith Venue: Home: Tennis Court
Score: 1-1. (Paul).
Team: Mark, Graham, Chris, Steve R, Mitch, Steve D, Mitch, The Squire, Micky DVD, Da Bike, Clive, Tonksy, Taj, Smudge, Roy, Paul, Tim. (Just the 17- with Scholsey pulling out again.)
Subs (time off): Roy, Steve D, Mitch, Smudge, Mick DVD, Paul : ½. Tonksy, Clive, Da Bike, Taj, Steve R :1/4. Chris, Tim 3/4.
Goal of the Game: The only choice but a bit of a stunner: controlled possession, good cross in from Steve R, crucial contribution by Roy- dummying it/missing it/ getting a defence beating touch, slammed in from just inside the box by Paul half- volley on the turn – the excellent keeper only able to react after it hit the net.
Captain’s Pick: My M.O.M. today was Matthew who was at a season’s peak of anger but tried to keep the team going. On another day we would (…and should?..) have won 5 or 6-1.
OSCDT- Top pass. Steve R’s ball in – see above – is a contender as is the return from Paul to Podge- see below, but selected is Clive’s perfectly judged and executed headed lay off also to Podge
Mark’s man/men: Apart from the goal solid defence, the basis for a lot of possession but like last week not enough incision in the final third. Mark Da Bike would add too much long ball and/or Hollywood passes rather than playing to feet.
Top tackle: Podge, early on, nicking the ball with a perfect sliding tackle – given as a free kick. WHY????
Moments of the Match: 9.33 a.m. Mitch arrives expecting to be in the warm with a cup of tea. 10 10 a.m. Tom remembers he has the key to open the changing rooms for the six assembled and now windswept teams. The future of Lawrance and Lawrance looks bright.
Great save from their keeper after sharp 1-2 between Paul and Podge- fine strike.
Mark eventually dealing with a rolled back pass, some fumbling and scrabbling.
Somewhat comical opening goal triggering excessive celebration from Erith. Wayne given more than enough time to cross into the box giving Tamps plenty of time to let two attackers opportunity to prod the ball home. Not only had we not got out or marked after the corner but at least one defender was off the pitch behind the goal line. And what was Steve D doing?!!?
It wasn't apparent at the time but a broken wrist for Podge when he was brought down advancing to the edge of the box. No foul- obvs.
A late chance falls to Tonksy- what will he do?- see below.
Two of our best efforts , needing very good saves, were from Erith defenders.
Quotes and Cliches: ‘What exactly am I being criticised for?’ The Squire plays his own game.
‘Gaining yardage.’ Tonksy on that ‘shot’.
‘They were intentional’. The Squire defends his stubbed along the ground- almost to the near post- corners.
‘Graham passed a little better today –and his tackle is really good’. More shrewd analysis and insight from the bar staff.
Most definitely a game we should have won- and won comfortably.
Best miss: Nothing stand out in front of goal – that in itself tells a story. Paul’s free kick wasn't the best. Smudger’s first 5-6 passes missed their target- not by much, of course.
Selfish jug: Tonksy’s shot could be mentioned but generally sensible if uninspiring team play.
Not in the bar: Paul, Da Bike, DVD. Last in the bar : The Squire, Smudge, Chris, Tim
Next game: Santos Not available: Podge, Tim, Smudge, Paul.
Old Tamponians: 2016-17 09. 10. 16
Opponents: Avery Hill Venue: Old Roan – Tennis court
Score: 0-1
Team: Mark, Chris, Graham, Taj, Roy, The Squire, Micky DVD, Baby, Steve D, Clive, Mark Da Bike, Scholesy, Steve R, Tim.
Subs (time off): Steve R: ¾, Roy, Scholesy, Stevie D, Micky DVD, Chris: ¼, Tim: 1/1.
Goal of the Game: Our first blank of the season due to a combination of our failure to take some well created chances, lack of penetration in the final third and excellent work- including very sharp dashes off his line- from the best keeper we play against. (He is horribly young though and he's been in the SuperVets side since his mid- teens).
Captain’s Pick: Excellent weaving run by Mark Da Bike and our best chance of the game- firm strike, hit the post and ran across the face of the goal.
Strong all- round performance from Scholesy who, as well as remaining upright throughout, played on the left, played on the right………………..and for the last quarter played in the middle. Pressured the oppo at all times.
OSCDT - Top pass: Mad Dave commended us on what he described as our tactics- long ball- that must be you Graham. Actually kept possession well but couldn't make it tell in the final third. If only Smudge hadn't tweaked his back moving the fridge-freezer. Clive had a quality back heel pass that continued a good attacking move.
Mark’s man/men: Plenty of passion, passing and puffing in our new tangerine strip (thank you Stevie D!!). Strong contributions from Graham, Taj, The Squire and Da Bike – to name but a few: a good team performance and a lot of commitment from everyone but a game where the end result was disappointing
Top tackle: Graham-again- on Josh- Now you have the ball, now you don't!
Moments of the Match: The horror! The horror! Mad Dave not only takes out The Squire with coming through violence but decks his number 8 too. In his mind (what a place that must be!) he won the ball fairly and legally. Please note the excellent ref gave the free kick and calmed the ensuing outrage.
Good save from Mark dealing well with an excellent in swinging corner that was dipping under the bar.
A fine shot from distance by Baby… as well as one that bounced into the undergrowth. (Time to work on the fitness Baby?!!)
Roy’s mazy run late in the second half with a good ball into the box- but again no finish.
Fine contest between surging Josh and elegant Graham - won by the latter with style and timing.
Great chase back and tackle by Scholesy soon after coming on.
Quotes and Clichés: ‘A better performance than a few week’s ago’. Smudger who didn't play in this game. (By text)
‘He's not the full shilling.’ Steve R on Mad Dave.
‘His first touch was poor and he seemed to give the ball away to the opposition’. Forthright analysis of Graham’s game from the bar staff.
‘The flaw in our game is not crashing into the keeper!’ Roy is also highly analytical.
‘That's a bit selfish!’ Stevie D on Clive taking a free kick.
‘Wearing your name across my chest is a thing off my bucket list’. Graham- showing limited ambition?
‘Just because you Tories control the media you believe everything you say is the truth!’ Tim rejects Mad D’s version (Fantasists are everywhere at the moment- aren't they Donald?) of his horror tackle.
Best miss: A fine cross from Scholesy found Clive rising unmarked but using his shoulder as much as head and butchering one of our best opportunities.
Scholesy air kicking as the ball came back across the 6 yard box after good attacking play- any touch would have prodded it in.
Selfish jug: No contenders- but when are Taj (hat trick) and Steve D (selfish) going to buy the ones we are owed??? Come on Skipper – sort it out!!
Chris could have won it by seeking to buy Ray’s return drink out of the whip!
Not in the bar: None – 100% in! Last in the bar: Graham and the Squire.
Next game: Erith (Home) Not available: Baby.
Opponents: Avery Hill Venue: Old Roan – Tennis court
Score: 0-1
Team: Mark, Chris, Graham, Taj, Roy, The Squire, Micky DVD, Baby, Steve D, Clive, Mark Da Bike, Scholesy, Steve R, Tim.
Subs (time off): Steve R: ¾, Roy, Scholesy, Stevie D, Micky DVD, Chris: ¼, Tim: 1/1.
Goal of the Game: Our first blank of the season due to a combination of our failure to take some well created chances, lack of penetration in the final third and excellent work- including very sharp dashes off his line- from the best keeper we play against. (He is horribly young though and he's been in the SuperVets side since his mid- teens).
Captain’s Pick: Excellent weaving run by Mark Da Bike and our best chance of the game- firm strike, hit the post and ran across the face of the goal.
Strong all- round performance from Scholesy who, as well as remaining upright throughout, played on the left, played on the right………………..and for the last quarter played in the middle. Pressured the oppo at all times.
OSCDT - Top pass: Mad Dave commended us on what he described as our tactics- long ball- that must be you Graham. Actually kept possession well but couldn't make it tell in the final third. If only Smudge hadn't tweaked his back moving the fridge-freezer. Clive had a quality back heel pass that continued a good attacking move.
Mark’s man/men: Plenty of passion, passing and puffing in our new tangerine strip (thank you Stevie D!!). Strong contributions from Graham, Taj, The Squire and Da Bike – to name but a few: a good team performance and a lot of commitment from everyone but a game where the end result was disappointing
Top tackle: Graham-again- on Josh- Now you have the ball, now you don't!
Moments of the Match: The horror! The horror! Mad Dave not only takes out The Squire with coming through violence but decks his number 8 too. In his mind (what a place that must be!) he won the ball fairly and legally. Please note the excellent ref gave the free kick and calmed the ensuing outrage.
Good save from Mark dealing well with an excellent in swinging corner that was dipping under the bar.
A fine shot from distance by Baby… as well as one that bounced into the undergrowth. (Time to work on the fitness Baby?!!)
Roy’s mazy run late in the second half with a good ball into the box- but again no finish.
Fine contest between surging Josh and elegant Graham - won by the latter with style and timing.
Great chase back and tackle by Scholesy soon after coming on.
Quotes and Clichés: ‘A better performance than a few week’s ago’. Smudger who didn't play in this game. (By text)
‘He's not the full shilling.’ Steve R on Mad Dave.
‘His first touch was poor and he seemed to give the ball away to the opposition’. Forthright analysis of Graham’s game from the bar staff.
‘The flaw in our game is not crashing into the keeper!’ Roy is also highly analytical.
‘That's a bit selfish!’ Stevie D on Clive taking a free kick.
‘Wearing your name across my chest is a thing off my bucket list’. Graham- showing limited ambition?
‘Just because you Tories control the media you believe everything you say is the truth!’ Tim rejects Mad D’s version (Fantasists are everywhere at the moment- aren't they Donald?) of his horror tackle.
Best miss: A fine cross from Scholesy found Clive rising unmarked but using his shoulder as much as head and butchering one of our best opportunities.
Scholesy air kicking as the ball came back across the 6 yard box after good attacking play- any touch would have prodded it in.
Selfish jug: No contenders- but when are Taj (hat trick) and Steve D (selfish) going to buy the ones we are owed??? Come on Skipper – sort it out!!
Chris could have won it by seeking to buy Ray’s return drink out of the whip!
Not in the bar: None – 100% in! Last in the bar: Graham and the Squire.
Next game: Erith (Home) Not available: Baby.
Sunday 02/10/2016
Opponents: Cudham Venue: Old Wilsonians, Hays Hill.
Score: 2-2 (Taj - 10th different goal scorer, Birthday Podge).
Team: Mark, Taj, Graham, Chris, Roy, Podge, The Squire, Micky DVD, Steve D, Clive, Mark Bike, Scholesy, John, Tonksy, Steve R, Baby, Tim.
Subs (time off): Baby, Steve R, Chris, Taj, Steve D, Roy :1/2. Tim: 1/1. Podge, The Squire, Tonksy, Scholesy, John, Mark Bike, Mick DVD, Clive: 1/4.
Goal of the Game: Good build up led to Podge taking the ball 30 yards out, beating a tackle, before advancing to the edge of the box and firing into the bottom left corner – or the right corner if you listen to Graham. (Scorer’s or Keeper’s view?)
Taj’s first of the season was also good- a firm header from Clive’s perfectly flighted free kick- made easier by the keeper coming but getting nowhere near the ball
Captain’s Pick: Steve Rogers marking a return from injury and indolence with a fine performance capped by a Peter Kay “ ‘Ave it!!!!” into the woods.
Baby Podge- great to have him back – albeit for one half.
Really should be Birthday (He’s 44, Mad Dave) Podge: all round excellence- box to box.
OSCDT: Top pass - Clive’s free kick, as mentioned. Winner- Steve D’s fine ( and clearly intended) cross for Mark to …oh, see miss of game. Team kept and played the ball well- general short to feet passes with Graham’s usual Hollywood longuns - and Baby shanking them like a European Ryder cup rookie - or Lee Westwood.
Mark’s man/men: Hard choice with many a heroic performance- but Taj’s header, Tonksy’s running and Graham’s covering getting the nod.
Top tackle: Graham surging across/ running through treacle to get to the breaking free forward in the nick of time and timing his slide with expert desperation.
Moments of the Match: Roy’s stare at an opposition heavyweight after a ‘coming together’- even Jason Statham and Liam Neeson would have trembled. Those bedroom eyes.
An expected feature now but some of Scholesy’s efforts, throwing himself to the floor, were memorable and could be recorded as sound effects.
Graham finally getting the captain’s armband at halftime- it was emotional- he’s a legend.
Some memorable misses- see below- Frank Sidebottom would have headed them more effectively.
Mitch’s fitness test- the result of which was to drop the squad to a manageable 17!!
Jim helps the Young Vets out with a guest appearance.
Quotes and Clichés: ‘Why is Clive on the free kick?’ Tim. ‘That's why!’ Mitch- after Taj heads us level.
‘Back the way it came! Would it have looked better in orange?’ Podge on Steve D’s ‘header’.
‘Are you subbing Chris?’ Roy offers advice – and presumably analysis of a perceived defensive weakness.
‘What’s your missus wearing?’ Graham suggests Tim’s pants are unmanly.
‘A good contest, a good game to watch.’ High praise from Mitch.
‘Have you got an Uber account?’ Tim prepares to give Mark some support in getting off his line a tad quicker.
Best miss: Wow! What could have been! On another week Graham’s wayward long shot would have been worth a couple of sentences, however step forward Mark Da Bike and Steve D….. Steve looked up (surely a first) and struck a precise and aimed cross that Mark would have despatched if the sun had not been at the exact height to cause blinding refraction in his Edgar Davids’ sport spectacles, causing such disorientation that he headed away from instead of easily into the gaping goal. Mark suffered similar distraction when he dragged a shot sideways. However, winner- Steve’s header- he must score- oh no – much better to try a one two with the cross provider. Ho hum.
A very good performance and result against a much younger side- the whole squad done good.
Selfish jug: No winner- but a strong mention for Tonksy for several showboat back-heels- such fancy dan self- indulgence wouldn't be tolerated down the Den.
Not in the bar: Scholesy, Micky DVD. Last in the bar: Mitch, Graham, Chris, Podge, Tim
Next game: Avery Hill. (Oh oh!!!) Not available: Tonksy (International break),
Podge, Mitch.
Opponents: Cudham Venue: Old Wilsonians, Hays Hill.
Score: 2-2 (Taj - 10th different goal scorer, Birthday Podge).
Team: Mark, Taj, Graham, Chris, Roy, Podge, The Squire, Micky DVD, Steve D, Clive, Mark Bike, Scholesy, John, Tonksy, Steve R, Baby, Tim.
Subs (time off): Baby, Steve R, Chris, Taj, Steve D, Roy :1/2. Tim: 1/1. Podge, The Squire, Tonksy, Scholesy, John, Mark Bike, Mick DVD, Clive: 1/4.
Goal of the Game: Good build up led to Podge taking the ball 30 yards out, beating a tackle, before advancing to the edge of the box and firing into the bottom left corner – or the right corner if you listen to Graham. (Scorer’s or Keeper’s view?)
Taj’s first of the season was also good- a firm header from Clive’s perfectly flighted free kick- made easier by the keeper coming but getting nowhere near the ball
Captain’s Pick: Steve Rogers marking a return from injury and indolence with a fine performance capped by a Peter Kay “ ‘Ave it!!!!” into the woods.
Baby Podge- great to have him back – albeit for one half.
Really should be Birthday (He’s 44, Mad Dave) Podge: all round excellence- box to box.
OSCDT: Top pass - Clive’s free kick, as mentioned. Winner- Steve D’s fine ( and clearly intended) cross for Mark to …oh, see miss of game. Team kept and played the ball well- general short to feet passes with Graham’s usual Hollywood longuns - and Baby shanking them like a European Ryder cup rookie - or Lee Westwood.
Mark’s man/men: Hard choice with many a heroic performance- but Taj’s header, Tonksy’s running and Graham’s covering getting the nod.
Top tackle: Graham surging across/ running through treacle to get to the breaking free forward in the nick of time and timing his slide with expert desperation.
Moments of the Match: Roy’s stare at an opposition heavyweight after a ‘coming together’- even Jason Statham and Liam Neeson would have trembled. Those bedroom eyes.
An expected feature now but some of Scholesy’s efforts, throwing himself to the floor, were memorable and could be recorded as sound effects.
Graham finally getting the captain’s armband at halftime- it was emotional- he’s a legend.
Some memorable misses- see below- Frank Sidebottom would have headed them more effectively.
Mitch’s fitness test- the result of which was to drop the squad to a manageable 17!!
Jim helps the Young Vets out with a guest appearance.
Quotes and Clichés: ‘Why is Clive on the free kick?’ Tim. ‘That's why!’ Mitch- after Taj heads us level.
‘Back the way it came! Would it have looked better in orange?’ Podge on Steve D’s ‘header’.
‘Are you subbing Chris?’ Roy offers advice – and presumably analysis of a perceived defensive weakness.
‘What’s your missus wearing?’ Graham suggests Tim’s pants are unmanly.
‘A good contest, a good game to watch.’ High praise from Mitch.
‘Have you got an Uber account?’ Tim prepares to give Mark some support in getting off his line a tad quicker.
Best miss: Wow! What could have been! On another week Graham’s wayward long shot would have been worth a couple of sentences, however step forward Mark Da Bike and Steve D….. Steve looked up (surely a first) and struck a precise and aimed cross that Mark would have despatched if the sun had not been at the exact height to cause blinding refraction in his Edgar Davids’ sport spectacles, causing such disorientation that he headed away from instead of easily into the gaping goal. Mark suffered similar distraction when he dragged a shot sideways. However, winner- Steve’s header- he must score- oh no – much better to try a one two with the cross provider. Ho hum.
A very good performance and result against a much younger side- the whole squad done good.
Selfish jug: No winner- but a strong mention for Tonksy for several showboat back-heels- such fancy dan self- indulgence wouldn't be tolerated down the Den.
Not in the bar: Scholesy, Micky DVD. Last in the bar: Mitch, Graham, Chris, Podge, Tim
Next game: Avery Hill. (Oh oh!!!) Not available: Tonksy (International break),
Podge, Mitch.
Old Tamponians: 2016-17
Opponents: Erith Venue: Perry Street
Score: 3-1. (Tonksy, Paul, Podge)
Team: Mark, The Squire, Chris, Graham, Smudger, Jim, Tonksy, Podge, Steve D, Mark D, Clive, Micky DVD, Paul, Mitch, Tim. (Scholesy resting his Achilles - the other one.)
Subs (time off): Jim ½, Mitch 5/8, Tim 7/8, Micky DVD, Paul, Mark D, Tonksy, The Squire, Steve D, Clive, Podge: all ¼.
Goal of the Game: Intercepting the ball just inside my half I realised the keeper was off his line and with the wind in my favour I (Tonksy) thwacked it in the top corner: just another run of the mill goal for me. Edging Clive’s effort for goal of the season so far?
Captain’s Pick: Podge M.o M(atch)
Mitch M. o M(inute).
OSCDT- Top pass. Generally a good standard from all after some initial wayward stuff (Smudge). Graham and Smudger the longer stuff, fine defence splitting pass to Podge for his goal from Tonksy, good forward interplay from Clive, Paul and Mark D.
Mark’s man/men: A sprightly performance from The Squire, strutting his stuff at right back and in midfield. The wonder goal from Tonksy, top drawer – even for a Millwall fan.
Top tackle: A brutal assault on Micky DVD from Erith Simon- close enough to cage fighting for the referee to both give a free kick and halt the game to stare meaningfully into Micky’s eyes.
Mark the keeper’s brave first half block (where he didn't use his hands) getting there before the pacey forward.
Chris: a crucial late tackle on the edge of our box as Erith threatened to make the game close: without that well won intervention they had men over. Top stuff!!
Moments of the Match: Highlight, Mark handling the ball twice a yard outside the box, unconvincingly suggesting it was in the area all the time and adopting an apologetic pose when he was let off with a booking when a red should have been brandished.
Graham’s back pass - only slightly under hit and we escaped…
The pensioners Jim and Mitch play their first games of their 55th season: ageless and evergreen.
Two well-taken goals from Paul and Podge, both from good possession and build up play and the latter expertly past the sprawling keeper after Tonksy had split the defence to set him up. That’s 9 different goal scorers in 5 games.
Quotes and clichés: ‘ I don't see the point of that!’ The Squire disdainfully rebuts the call for Jimmy to be pulled back so as right back he (The Squire) can support his centre halves who were both marking.
‘Mitch is our Vincent Company.’ The Squire again.
‘The Doom Bar is too cold’.
An enjoyable sporting contest, good attacking play from both sides, solid defence and strong goalkeeping deservedly won by the side that made the most of their well fashioned chances.
Best miss: A fine sweeping one touch move finished by Podge’s scuffed shot dragged comfortably past the right hand post to cue compulsive swearing.
Selfish jug: (The Squire’s choice.). I fear I may be writing this more than once…..Steven Doyle: far left hand corner, didn't look up, two in the box, swung his leg, skied it into the woods: guilty as charged.
Not in the bar: Paul, Clive, Micky DVD, Mark D- can't be blamed, a poor bar. Both bars: Podge, Tim, Graham, The Squire.
Next game: Cudham (Old Wilsonians, Hayes Hill Road)
Not available: Smudge.
Opponents: Erith Venue: Perry Street
Score: 3-1. (Tonksy, Paul, Podge)
Team: Mark, The Squire, Chris, Graham, Smudger, Jim, Tonksy, Podge, Steve D, Mark D, Clive, Micky DVD, Paul, Mitch, Tim. (Scholesy resting his Achilles - the other one.)
Subs (time off): Jim ½, Mitch 5/8, Tim 7/8, Micky DVD, Paul, Mark D, Tonksy, The Squire, Steve D, Clive, Podge: all ¼.
Goal of the Game: Intercepting the ball just inside my half I realised the keeper was off his line and with the wind in my favour I (Tonksy) thwacked it in the top corner: just another run of the mill goal for me. Edging Clive’s effort for goal of the season so far?
Captain’s Pick: Podge M.o M(atch)
Mitch M. o M(inute).
OSCDT- Top pass. Generally a good standard from all after some initial wayward stuff (Smudge). Graham and Smudger the longer stuff, fine defence splitting pass to Podge for his goal from Tonksy, good forward interplay from Clive, Paul and Mark D.
Mark’s man/men: A sprightly performance from The Squire, strutting his stuff at right back and in midfield. The wonder goal from Tonksy, top drawer – even for a Millwall fan.
Top tackle: A brutal assault on Micky DVD from Erith Simon- close enough to cage fighting for the referee to both give a free kick and halt the game to stare meaningfully into Micky’s eyes.
Mark the keeper’s brave first half block (where he didn't use his hands) getting there before the pacey forward.
Chris: a crucial late tackle on the edge of our box as Erith threatened to make the game close: without that well won intervention they had men over. Top stuff!!
Moments of the Match: Highlight, Mark handling the ball twice a yard outside the box, unconvincingly suggesting it was in the area all the time and adopting an apologetic pose when he was let off with a booking when a red should have been brandished.
Graham’s back pass - only slightly under hit and we escaped…
The pensioners Jim and Mitch play their first games of their 55th season: ageless and evergreen.
Two well-taken goals from Paul and Podge, both from good possession and build up play and the latter expertly past the sprawling keeper after Tonksy had split the defence to set him up. That’s 9 different goal scorers in 5 games.
Quotes and clichés: ‘ I don't see the point of that!’ The Squire disdainfully rebuts the call for Jimmy to be pulled back so as right back he (The Squire) can support his centre halves who were both marking.
‘Mitch is our Vincent Company.’ The Squire again.
‘The Doom Bar is too cold’.
An enjoyable sporting contest, good attacking play from both sides, solid defence and strong goalkeeping deservedly won by the side that made the most of their well fashioned chances.
Best miss: A fine sweeping one touch move finished by Podge’s scuffed shot dragged comfortably past the right hand post to cue compulsive swearing.
Selfish jug: (The Squire’s choice.). I fear I may be writing this more than once…..Steven Doyle: far left hand corner, didn't look up, two in the box, swung his leg, skied it into the woods: guilty as charged.
Not in the bar: Paul, Clive, Micky DVD, Mark D- can't be blamed, a poor bar. Both bars: Podge, Tim, Graham, The Squire.
Next game: Cudham (Old Wilsonians, Hayes Hill Road)
Not available: Smudge.
Old Tamponians: 2016-17. 18.09.16
Opponents: Charter Diamond Venue: Tennis court
Score: 4-0. Clive, Chris (pen), Paul, John.
Team: Mark, Smudge, Graham, Chris, John, The Squire ( C ), Podge, Mark D, Stevie, Clive, Paul, Scholesy, Tonksy, Roy, Tim.
Subs (time off): ¼ off: Scholesy, Tonksy, John, Paul,Mark D, Podge, The Squire, Clive Chris - Reffing. ¾: Tim. Roy - reffed first half and played for oppo.
Goal of the Game: After creating but squandering a number of very good chances (Stevie) we finally clicked- Mark D hit a great through pass to Clive who controlled the ball deftly and sent an unstoppable left (surprise!!!) foot drive over the keeper. Definite contender for goal of the season.
Other goals quality too: very well taken penalty, strong shot from Paul and neat finish from John after Tonsky put him in.
Captain’s Pick: Paul, the striker not Smudger, - great movement and running into space, several strong shots and a well struck goal.
OSCDT - Top pass: Any of Stevie D’s that found a team mate…oh, that would be none!!
Smudge - the delivery man is back picking out Stevie and others, dead ball and open play.
Tonksy - perfectly weighted and placed pass through the defence playing John in and making his task of beating the keeper a straightforward one
Mark’s man/men: Plenty of contenders but with a clean sheet has to be shared across the back 3 : Graham,Smudge and Chris. (Note the keeper is too modest to mention himself whilst ignoring Tim’s 15 minutes in defence!).
Top tackle: Seriously a strong 50-50 win for Scholesy and a perfectly timed slide by Graham on their young speedster but enjoyed by all : Steve taking Roy out: smashing!!
Moments of the Match: Another penalty won by Scholesy and awarded by Roy on sound alone. “ I saw Scholesy put on his flippers and snorkel had the whistle to my mouth , saw him go down like Flipper, gave it weighty consideration and judged there had been slight illegal contact, blew, and pointed to the spot”.
Paul striking the woodwork several times – including the bar twice with one shot.
Graham seeking the newly inaugurated Selfish Jug with mazy run on his own goal line.
Ongoing banter about the offside law.
Actually getting a defensive wall in roughly the right place leading to Mark making a comfortable save from the free kick.
The oppo keeper- who made several good saves- blasting the ball into Steve’s midriff- fortunate that it wasn't a little lower!
14 out of a squad of 15 making it into and spending some collective time in the bar.
Quotes and Cliches: “ Where's Scholesy? I wanted to show him my ball bag.” Graham the Boss.
“ An unbelievable result from a very ordinary Tamps team” Graham the Boss.
“Watch your f***ing language!” Tim’s wit as ref after Steve has referred to their keeper as female genitalia- in the Anglo-Saxon manner.
Best miss: One or two from Steve perhaps- if only he would trust his right foot.
Selfish jug: Not awarded despite there being a few possibilities: Graham, as mentioned, Scholesy and perhaps Steve not picking out a well placed team mate.
Not in the bar: Paul
Last in the bar: Graham, Smudge, The Squire, Podge
Next game: Erith
Not available: John
Opponents: Charter Diamond Venue: Tennis court
Score: 4-0. Clive, Chris (pen), Paul, John.
Team: Mark, Smudge, Graham, Chris, John, The Squire ( C ), Podge, Mark D, Stevie, Clive, Paul, Scholesy, Tonksy, Roy, Tim.
Subs (time off): ¼ off: Scholesy, Tonksy, John, Paul,Mark D, Podge, The Squire, Clive Chris - Reffing. ¾: Tim. Roy - reffed first half and played for oppo.
Goal of the Game: After creating but squandering a number of very good chances (Stevie) we finally clicked- Mark D hit a great through pass to Clive who controlled the ball deftly and sent an unstoppable left (surprise!!!) foot drive over the keeper. Definite contender for goal of the season.
Other goals quality too: very well taken penalty, strong shot from Paul and neat finish from John after Tonsky put him in.
Captain’s Pick: Paul, the striker not Smudger, - great movement and running into space, several strong shots and a well struck goal.
OSCDT - Top pass: Any of Stevie D’s that found a team mate…oh, that would be none!!
Smudge - the delivery man is back picking out Stevie and others, dead ball and open play.
Tonksy - perfectly weighted and placed pass through the defence playing John in and making his task of beating the keeper a straightforward one
Mark’s man/men: Plenty of contenders but with a clean sheet has to be shared across the back 3 : Graham,Smudge and Chris. (Note the keeper is too modest to mention himself whilst ignoring Tim’s 15 minutes in defence!).
Top tackle: Seriously a strong 50-50 win for Scholesy and a perfectly timed slide by Graham on their young speedster but enjoyed by all : Steve taking Roy out: smashing!!
Moments of the Match: Another penalty won by Scholesy and awarded by Roy on sound alone. “ I saw Scholesy put on his flippers and snorkel had the whistle to my mouth , saw him go down like Flipper, gave it weighty consideration and judged there had been slight illegal contact, blew, and pointed to the spot”.
Paul striking the woodwork several times – including the bar twice with one shot.
Graham seeking the newly inaugurated Selfish Jug with mazy run on his own goal line.
Ongoing banter about the offside law.
Actually getting a defensive wall in roughly the right place leading to Mark making a comfortable save from the free kick.
The oppo keeper- who made several good saves- blasting the ball into Steve’s midriff- fortunate that it wasn't a little lower!
14 out of a squad of 15 making it into and spending some collective time in the bar.
Quotes and Cliches: “ Where's Scholesy? I wanted to show him my ball bag.” Graham the Boss.
“ An unbelievable result from a very ordinary Tamps team” Graham the Boss.
“Watch your f***ing language!” Tim’s wit as ref after Steve has referred to their keeper as female genitalia- in the Anglo-Saxon manner.
Best miss: One or two from Steve perhaps- if only he would trust his right foot.
Selfish jug: Not awarded despite there being a few possibilities: Graham, as mentioned, Scholesy and perhaps Steve not picking out a well placed team mate.
Not in the bar: Paul
Last in the bar: Graham, Smudge, The Squire, Podge
Next game: Erith
Not available: John
Date: 11th September 2016
Opponents: Charlton Rangers
Date: 28/08/16
Venue: The quaggy cabbage Patch
Score: 2-1. ( roy, Chris – pen )
Team: Mark, Steve R, Chris (c), good Graham, Simon, Roy,Charlie, Tonksy, Stevie D, Mark (bike), Clive. Scholesy, Tim
Subs (time OFf) : Scholesy (1/4), Stevie d (1/4), roy(1/4),charlie(1/4), Steve r(1/4:injured), Tim (3/4).
Goal of Game: played out to the right after won in midfield, steve r cross, Scholesy visionary assist Roy rose like a Canadian salmon and headed on his way down into the bottom corner.
Captain’s Pick: good graham – the outstanding difference between the two sides
Oscdt ( Top Pass): Graham’s raking through balls.
Mark’s Man/Men: Mark “Edgar” Diamond the chemist – for his glassware selection and his running.
Top Tackle: Simon –first half , following a defensive lapse, Chris, second half- as the oppo applied the pressure .
Moments of Match: great central midfield work from Tonksy and Charlie.
Some fine flicks and touches from Clive..
Scholesy: 5 dives, 1 assist, 1 penalty won, stonewall, and one gift to the oppo for their goal.
Not part of the game but the squire’s visit to Harry Potter world deserves recording.
Quotes and Cliches: “no less than we deserved”. Charlton Rangers after their equaliser .
“I should be captain, I was here first” Graham.
“I didn't see the game – but I'm sure we were shit”. Graham the boss.
Post match: not in the bar: Clive , Charlie.
Last in the bar: good Graham, Chris, Steve r, Tim .
Best Miss: Roy could have done better with an early header.
Clive, through on his own, - put it wide.
Next Game: Avery Hill
Availability: not: Mark the bike, Steve R, Good Graham,
Date: 28/08/16
Venue: The quaggy cabbage Patch
Score: 2-1. ( roy, Chris – pen )
Team: Mark, Steve R, Chris (c), good Graham, Simon, Roy,Charlie, Tonksy, Stevie D, Mark (bike), Clive. Scholesy, Tim
Subs (time OFf) : Scholesy (1/4), Stevie d (1/4), roy(1/4),charlie(1/4), Steve r(1/4:injured), Tim (3/4).
Goal of Game: played out to the right after won in midfield, steve r cross, Scholesy visionary assist Roy rose like a Canadian salmon and headed on his way down into the bottom corner.
Captain’s Pick: good graham – the outstanding difference between the two sides
Oscdt ( Top Pass): Graham’s raking through balls.
Mark’s Man/Men: Mark “Edgar” Diamond the chemist – for his glassware selection and his running.
Top Tackle: Simon –first half , following a defensive lapse, Chris, second half- as the oppo applied the pressure .
Moments of Match: great central midfield work from Tonksy and Charlie.
Some fine flicks and touches from Clive..
Scholesy: 5 dives, 1 assist, 1 penalty won, stonewall, and one gift to the oppo for their goal.
Not part of the game but the squire’s visit to Harry Potter world deserves recording.
Quotes and Cliches: “no less than we deserved”. Charlton Rangers after their equaliser .
“I should be captain, I was here first” Graham.
“I didn't see the game – but I'm sure we were shit”. Graham the boss.
Post match: not in the bar: Clive , Charlie.
Last in the bar: good Graham, Chris, Steve r, Tim .
Best Miss: Roy could have done better with an early header.
Clive, through on his own, - put it wide.
Next Game: Avery Hill
Availability: not: Mark the bike, Steve R, Good Graham,
