OTVFC Supervets - Season 2021/22
Date: 15/05/2022 Oppo: Erith Vets Score: 3-2
Scorers: Finchy, Roymond, Mike
Team: Tony - Adam Matt Baby Finchy - Taj Chef DI Chris SD - Paul Mike
Subs: Lee, Roymond, Smudger
In a word: Comeback!
In a sentence: This was Baby's match
Last Sunday game of the season against our old foes Erith. Both teams had squads which made a change and, in Erith's case especially it was needed. The game started well for the Tamps with them having a lot of the ball and moving it about quite well, if, a little slow. Mick who usually plays up front for Erith was today in his Saturday position of centre back, and his pace came in handy to thwart some initial Tamps attacks. The first big moment was when a cross from the right was met
by a firm Taj header, the keeper made an incredible save to keep the score 0-0, we were doing ok but without the final finish, Mike (back again) was looking very lively up front and was a constant menace to the Erith backline. Mike then created a shooting opportunity which again the keeper did well to save, on the follow up Mike pulled the ball back for Taj but, Mick's pace and last ditch lunge ended with him damaging his knee very badly, the game was held up for nearly 10 mins
as he was treated. This stoppage was not good for Tamps and a sloppy ball from Baby was intercepted by their forward who crossed to the far post for the 'young' Erith forward to head home, it was Erith's first and only venture into the Tamps box in the first half. So despite having probably 65% possession we went in 0-1 behind.
There was no panic at half time as we knew with a bit more cutting edge we would get back into the game. Lee replaced Tony in goal and Smudger replaced DI Chris for the 2nd half. Again Tamps started well and were moving the ball around well, if a little quicker than the 1st half, we were again getting into the Erith area but the final ball or shot was not quite right and we managed to find their keeper rather than beating him on a few occasions. Totally against the run of play we were 0-2 behind, the ball was lost down the right, their forward struck a good shot which Lee saved well but, the ball rebounded off Baby's knee and ended up in the net. After this the Tamps took over completely, Smudger and Chef started to get on the ball more and with Doyley and Roymond keeping the Erith defence stretched the gaps began to open up, Baby was now able to push forward from the back and his link play with the midfield meant we overran the Erith side, our first goal came from a corner which was initially cleared but Baby at the 2nd attempt delivered a great far post cross for Finchy to head home, Mike then had a goal disallowed, Richards flag went up, dubious? we kept pressing and another Baby corner was met by a bullet header at the far stick by Roymond, 2-2, it was now a matter of time before we went in front, good play from the back between Baby and Smudger led to a great ball from Baby that Mike took in his stride beat the defender and finished with power, 3-2, the comeback was complete. We were good value for our win and it was a nice way to round off a long season.
Quotes: Mike's mate: What are the chances of getting a beer (its 1030)
Smudge: If the clubs open there is always a chance (Mike's mate returns with a Guinness!)
Scorers: Finchy, Roymond, Mike
Team: Tony - Adam Matt Baby Finchy - Taj Chef DI Chris SD - Paul Mike
Subs: Lee, Roymond, Smudger
In a word: Comeback!
In a sentence: This was Baby's match
Last Sunday game of the season against our old foes Erith. Both teams had squads which made a change and, in Erith's case especially it was needed. The game started well for the Tamps with them having a lot of the ball and moving it about quite well, if, a little slow. Mick who usually plays up front for Erith was today in his Saturday position of centre back, and his pace came in handy to thwart some initial Tamps attacks. The first big moment was when a cross from the right was met
by a firm Taj header, the keeper made an incredible save to keep the score 0-0, we were doing ok but without the final finish, Mike (back again) was looking very lively up front and was a constant menace to the Erith backline. Mike then created a shooting opportunity which again the keeper did well to save, on the follow up Mike pulled the ball back for Taj but, Mick's pace and last ditch lunge ended with him damaging his knee very badly, the game was held up for nearly 10 mins
as he was treated. This stoppage was not good for Tamps and a sloppy ball from Baby was intercepted by their forward who crossed to the far post for the 'young' Erith forward to head home, it was Erith's first and only venture into the Tamps box in the first half. So despite having probably 65% possession we went in 0-1 behind.
There was no panic at half time as we knew with a bit more cutting edge we would get back into the game. Lee replaced Tony in goal and Smudger replaced DI Chris for the 2nd half. Again Tamps started well and were moving the ball around well, if a little quicker than the 1st half, we were again getting into the Erith area but the final ball or shot was not quite right and we managed to find their keeper rather than beating him on a few occasions. Totally against the run of play we were 0-2 behind, the ball was lost down the right, their forward struck a good shot which Lee saved well but, the ball rebounded off Baby's knee and ended up in the net. After this the Tamps took over completely, Smudger and Chef started to get on the ball more and with Doyley and Roymond keeping the Erith defence stretched the gaps began to open up, Baby was now able to push forward from the back and his link play with the midfield meant we overran the Erith side, our first goal came from a corner which was initially cleared but Baby at the 2nd attempt delivered a great far post cross for Finchy to head home, Mike then had a goal disallowed, Richards flag went up, dubious? we kept pressing and another Baby corner was met by a bullet header at the far stick by Roymond, 2-2, it was now a matter of time before we went in front, good play from the back between Baby and Smudger led to a great ball from Baby that Mike took in his stride beat the defender and finished with power, 3-2, the comeback was complete. We were good value for our win and it was a nice way to round off a long season.
Quotes: Mike's mate: What are the chances of getting a beer (its 1030)
Smudge: If the clubs open there is always a chance (Mike's mate returns with a Guinness!)
DATE: 8/05/22 OPPO: Avery Hill Score: 0-3
Team: Tony - Adam Matt Finchy Chef - John Tonksy DI Chris SD - Paul Mike
Subs: Lee Roymond Smudger
In a word: Frustrating
In a sentence: The referee's word is final!
On a very nice, sunny morning we crossed swords with A. Hill only 2 weeks after our last meeting which, ended badly with a lot of harsh words and cussing mainly from the A. Hill side. We had hoped for a better outcome this time, unfortunately this was not to be. A. Hill started the better and had control of the game for the first 20 mins although not many chances were created. The first goal came when Tony failed to deal with a cross which was bundled in at the far post by an AH forward. The Tamps felt that they were on the wrong side of a few decisions from Ken the ref, especially when SD seem to be shoved in the back as he was about to head home a Paul cross, most thought it was a definite penalty, nothing given! as we approached half time Tamps were right back in the game but, 0-1 at h/t. Tony and Lee swapped in the goalkeeping position and Mike came back on to replace Lee upfront.
The second half saw a much better effort from the Tamps, we were better on the ball, something sadly lacking in the first half, we look a lot more solid and now had a good foothold in the game. after 15 mins Roymond replaced SD and Smudger replaced DI Chris. We now seemed to be moving the ball a lot better and were starting to cause the AH backline some problems. We still thought we were on the wrong end of decisions, a handball by Danny the AH keeper went unpunished which denied Paul the chance of a goalscoring opportunity, this, led to a full on face to face confrontation between Chef and Ken, the word cheat was banded about, Ken told Chef to leave the pitch, we argued that this was out of order as Ken was giving as good as he got. Things were now very fraught, virtually every
decision was a new argument and flair up, Roy and Lyndon had a falling out, Ken called SD a cheat for flagging (wrongly) for a throw when the ball didnt go out.
Inbetween all this Mike had two very good headers, one from a Smudger cross and the other from a good ball supplied by John. In the quest for an equaliser Tamps conceded two late goals, a pen after Chef chopped down Grant and a breakaway one on one for Lyndon. The game finished and we all trooped off for a shower and beer. Chef and Roy were by far the unhappiest, Cheating and C&%T were the two most used words when Ken's performance was being talked about.
A good beer and chat after the game between the sides seem to calm the situation and we parted the best of friends!
One game left to round off the season.
Quotes: Too many expletives for a match report.
Team: Tony - Adam Matt Finchy Chef - John Tonksy DI Chris SD - Paul Mike
Subs: Lee Roymond Smudger
In a word: Frustrating
In a sentence: The referee's word is final!
On a very nice, sunny morning we crossed swords with A. Hill only 2 weeks after our last meeting which, ended badly with a lot of harsh words and cussing mainly from the A. Hill side. We had hoped for a better outcome this time, unfortunately this was not to be. A. Hill started the better and had control of the game for the first 20 mins although not many chances were created. The first goal came when Tony failed to deal with a cross which was bundled in at the far post by an AH forward. The Tamps felt that they were on the wrong side of a few decisions from Ken the ref, especially when SD seem to be shoved in the back as he was about to head home a Paul cross, most thought it was a definite penalty, nothing given! as we approached half time Tamps were right back in the game but, 0-1 at h/t. Tony and Lee swapped in the goalkeeping position and Mike came back on to replace Lee upfront.
The second half saw a much better effort from the Tamps, we were better on the ball, something sadly lacking in the first half, we look a lot more solid and now had a good foothold in the game. after 15 mins Roymond replaced SD and Smudger replaced DI Chris. We now seemed to be moving the ball a lot better and were starting to cause the AH backline some problems. We still thought we were on the wrong end of decisions, a handball by Danny the AH keeper went unpunished which denied Paul the chance of a goalscoring opportunity, this, led to a full on face to face confrontation between Chef and Ken, the word cheat was banded about, Ken told Chef to leave the pitch, we argued that this was out of order as Ken was giving as good as he got. Things were now very fraught, virtually every
decision was a new argument and flair up, Roy and Lyndon had a falling out, Ken called SD a cheat for flagging (wrongly) for a throw when the ball didnt go out.
Inbetween all this Mike had two very good headers, one from a Smudger cross and the other from a good ball supplied by John. In the quest for an equaliser Tamps conceded two late goals, a pen after Chef chopped down Grant and a breakaway one on one for Lyndon. The game finished and we all trooped off for a shower and beer. Chef and Roy were by far the unhappiest, Cheating and C&%T were the two most used words when Ken's performance was being talked about.
A good beer and chat after the game between the sides seem to calm the situation and we parted the best of friends!
One game left to round off the season.
Quotes: Too many expletives for a match report.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
Avery Hill. Home - Tennis Court Pitch. 24.04.22.
1-2. Finchy
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Baby, Finchy, Chef, Tonksy, Chris, Doyley, Lee, Paul D, Scholesy, Taj, Smudge, Steve R. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: When does a penalty become not a penalty?
In a Word: In(Justice).
The Goal: Soon after there second goal Finchy headed us back into the game powering in Paul G’s driven cross from the right. Avery Hill anxiety was apparent for the remainder of the match.
The Game: The games between these long standing rivals are often close and always competitive but they can rarely have involved so few attempts on target. Avery Hill Grant was the liveliest forward in the first half but his link up play was often wasted by his partner forward frequently straying offside. At the other end defenders were also on top. The deadlock was broken after half an hour or so: a through ball caused difficulties. Tony came out hoping to collect it but Paul G getting ahead of the forward nodded the ball to where he thought his keeper would be-it floated into the net. Perhaps the only notable shot on target in the first 45 came from Doyley’s free kick but the goalie was not too troubled.Baby’s fierce drive from Scholesy’s lay off was too high.
We’d started the game with seemingly more than adequate numbers but it wasn’t too long before we were down to the bare 11 with Steve R heading to the changing rooms to get kit on. Scholesy was the first to go, his long-standing hamstring problem winning out again. Baby had pulled his calf in the first half but limped on but was forced off in the second with Taj too also requiring replacement. Lee had switched to his more usual place between the posts at half time after seemingly disproving Chef’s claim that ‘he could play up top’. Would he or Tony need to reinforce our outfield numbers?
Grant’s handball brought some smiles as he used both arms but there was no smile from Chris when the oppo also appealed for handball when his nuts had blocked the clearance.
Avery’s second was stroked into an unguarded net after we’d lost possession and Lee had been forced wide to break up the attack. He also was to make a fine diving save from Grant’s well hit shot- and although his partner was again in an offside position he was not interfering with play. After Finchy got us back in the game we dominated possession. Smudger’s free kick was in the right place but wasn’t attacked and Danny made a good save at the near post to cut out another dangerous cross.
With a minute or two to go another corner was half cleared, Chris regaining the ball 14 yards out. He had his back to goal and there seemed no immediate danger. Pyscho(logist) Johnny clearly thought otherwise and pulled Chris back then putting both arms over his shoulders and tugging some more. Tim blew for the penalty and emotions ran high. As Avery players registered their disbelief and disapproval in varying ways Tamps seemed uncertain about what to do. Having explained why the penalty was awarded Tim said: ‘I’ve given the penalty if you don’t want to take it pass it back to the keeper’. Paul G, this time deliberately, kicked the spot kick wide. Moments later time was up.
Post Match: Johnny : ‘I pulled him back. He was stopping me get to the ball’. And ‘I suppose he is allowed to shield it’. It was quite interesting that several AH players who were incensed at the time about the penalty later stated that they didn’t see the incident. Hmmmmm…
Oh well, at least Tonksy had a Cup Final to go to and Doyley had confirmed during the game what we all had thought for a while saying: ‘ I don’t know what I’m doing’.
The two teams play again in a couple of weeks.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
Santos. Home- Changing Room Pitch. The Birthday Fixture 17.04.22.
Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Smudge, Tonksy,Chris, Jon, Doyley, Roy, Grant, Stuart, Taj, Chef, Tim ( Ref).
2-4. ( Grant, Finchy.)
In a Sentence: Again avoidable goals give us too much to do.
In a Word: Frustrating.
The Goals: Grant first brought the scores level with a well placed left footer curved round the keeper and in at the far post. After good work down the right Tonksy’s up and under got the ball in the mixer where after some pinball defending Grant took charge. Finchy got us back to 2-2 firmly glancing in Baby’s excellent free kick.
The Game: A first half hat trick by their young and lightning quick centre forward took the game away from us after we had equalised twice in the first 12 minutes! The other Santos goal came when despite Tony’s protests that ‘He (their forward) ran into me!’, Tim awarded the spot kick having also had to think about Baby’s failed attempt to take out the forward. The hat trick goals were well taken but also stemmed from hesitant defending and in one case our careless ceding of possession. The hat trick goal, a header, perhaps caught Tony by surprise, but the whole team had watched the ball after the half cleared corner. Apart from our goals our most decisive play of the first half was Matt’s professional foul on their breaking midfielder who,otherwise, had a clear run on goal. Santos were also strong in defence and several fierce challenges, most not legal, took Roy out of the game. 2-4 at half time.
That the young centre forward was the main difference between the two teams was evidenced in the second period: when he went off early in the half we had the bulk of the play. We’d belatedly got our act together with strong man-marking from Finchy, excellent covering from Baby, including when the out rushing Tony failed to win the ball, effective, experienced work from Taj on the left and robust strength from Matt on the right. That said one of Matt’s challenges made everyone wince, the victim limp and several Santos players very angry. Words were spoken to Matt and they were both uncomplimentary and a little threatening. ( Fortunately Del was watching from the other touch line.)
We were able to play the ball through the midfield more effectively but could not create many clear cut chances. Two fine deliveries into the box by Baby gave Grant two good chances. He couldn’t connect with the first, perhaps seeing it late, and headed the second just over. Chef came on for Doyley but, unusually, didn’t have an impact, perhaps his neck injury from the previous fixture, restricted his movement. We could take some satisfaction from our second half performance with Chris, Tonksy, Stuart, Smudge and Jon, again outstanding, all working hard in midfield. Greater satisfaction was going to come from birthday drinks 🍺🍺🍺🍺 in the bar. Smudge had played his first match as a 65 year old and Tonksy the first of his 60th year. Cheers and thanks chaps!
What they said.
‘On way’. Baby – WhatsApp at 8.58.
‘Where are you going?’ Jon is perplexed by Doyley’s off the ball movement.
‘Well done Ref. As fair as f**k.’
‘It was never a penalty!’ Tony, post match ,still feels hard done by.
‘ Tonksy’s at the bar.He’s getting the drinks in!’ Tonksy orders and carries team drinks : A first! Smudge got the first round of team drinks. Not a first! Thank you both. 🍻🍻🍻
Santos. Home- Changing Room Pitch. The Birthday Fixture 17.04.22.
Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Smudge, Tonksy,Chris, Jon, Doyley, Roy, Grant, Stuart, Taj, Chef, Tim ( Ref).
2-4. ( Grant, Finchy.)
In a Sentence: Again avoidable goals give us too much to do.
In a Word: Frustrating.
The Goals: Grant first brought the scores level with a well placed left footer curved round the keeper and in at the far post. After good work down the right Tonksy’s up and under got the ball in the mixer where after some pinball defending Grant took charge. Finchy got us back to 2-2 firmly glancing in Baby’s excellent free kick.
The Game: A first half hat trick by their young and lightning quick centre forward took the game away from us after we had equalised twice in the first 12 minutes! The other Santos goal came when despite Tony’s protests that ‘He (their forward) ran into me!’, Tim awarded the spot kick having also had to think about Baby’s failed attempt to take out the forward. The hat trick goals were well taken but also stemmed from hesitant defending and in one case our careless ceding of possession. The hat trick goal, a header, perhaps caught Tony by surprise, but the whole team had watched the ball after the half cleared corner. Apart from our goals our most decisive play of the first half was Matt’s professional foul on their breaking midfielder who,otherwise, had a clear run on goal. Santos were also strong in defence and several fierce challenges, most not legal, took Roy out of the game. 2-4 at half time.
That the young centre forward was the main difference between the two teams was evidenced in the second period: when he went off early in the half we had the bulk of the play. We’d belatedly got our act together with strong man-marking from Finchy, excellent covering from Baby, including when the out rushing Tony failed to win the ball, effective, experienced work from Taj on the left and robust strength from Matt on the right. That said one of Matt’s challenges made everyone wince, the victim limp and several Santos players very angry. Words were spoken to Matt and they were both uncomplimentary and a little threatening. ( Fortunately Del was watching from the other touch line.)
We were able to play the ball through the midfield more effectively but could not create many clear cut chances. Two fine deliveries into the box by Baby gave Grant two good chances. He couldn’t connect with the first, perhaps seeing it late, and headed the second just over. Chef came on for Doyley but, unusually, didn’t have an impact, perhaps his neck injury from the previous fixture, restricted his movement. We could take some satisfaction from our second half performance with Chris, Tonksy, Stuart, Smudge and Jon, again outstanding, all working hard in midfield. Greater satisfaction was going to come from birthday drinks 🍺🍺🍺🍺 in the bar. Smudge had played his first match as a 65 year old and Tonksy the first of his 60th year. Cheers and thanks chaps!
What they said.
‘On way’. Baby – WhatsApp at 8.58.
‘Where are you going?’ Jon is perplexed by Doyley’s off the ball movement.
‘Well done Ref. As fair as f**k.’
‘It was never a penalty!’ Tony, post match ,still feels hard done by.
‘ Tonksy’s at the bar.He’s getting the drinks in!’ Tonksy orders and carries team drinks : A first! Smudge got the first round of team drinks. Not a first! Thank you both. 🍻🍻🍻
Erith. Perry Street (the dreadful slope). 10.04.22.
2-0. (Baby, Paul D.)
Team: Lee, Matt, Baby, Paul G, Finchy, Chef, Jon, Chris, Smudge, Roy, Paul D, Tonksy, Taj, Steve R, Tim.
In a Sentence: Two penalties, both contested and both missed with Lee making an excellent save to deny Erith when it was still 0-0.
In a Word: Eventually.
The Goals: We had to wait to the last quarter before opening the scoring. When the Ref played advantage-or ignored the blatant handball and the perpetrator’s guilty reaction- Baby smashed the ball into the roof of the net after Taj had played the ball in and Baby’s flick on was handled.
Heroic work by Chef! If only he could play every week. He passed the ball out to Taj, got it back and even though challenged- he later, falsely, claimed a broken toe as a result of this-set up Paul D whose shot was so powerful that the keeper could only palm it into the net.
The Game: Having been under some pressure in the first 10 minutes or so our defence was dominant and apart from the excellent penalty save Lee had very little to do other than deal with over hit through balls. Going forward we were able to get behind both full backs but our final pass was too often inaccurate and when we had opportunities our shots were snatched and too often wayward. It was good to see Taj back and strongly involved on the right and in Doyley’s absence Roy was happy to go up front despite his contention that Paul D didn’t pass. Finchy was back – a definite upgrade on Tim at left back and with Matt on the right and Paul G and Baby in the middle the Erith forwards could do little. Their penalty came when Michael fell over Paul G’s leg with the former seemingly causing the contact. The spot kick was well struck but Lee dived to his left to push the ball away. The odd mumble of ‘Justice!’ could be heard.
With Smudge eager to play the downhill second half and Chef berated for ‘dog shit’ by cousin Lee in goal ( to be fair there were some shocking passes!) Tonksy and Taj entered the fray as the first subs. Jon and Chris stayed in centre midfield both doing well but the former was to be named man of the match for his box to box work.
The second half was one way traffic. Erith were not helped by an injury to their young midfielder but we were stronger all over the pitch. Several Erith players became frustrated with Michael dropping out of their forward line enabling our defenders greater scope to attack with Baby in particular getting forward regularly.Smudge was enjoying his downhill playmaking: an arm chair ride,
We probably deserved more than the two goals we scored. One promising attack was ended by a dubious flag from the Lino- not Richard but his replacement- our own DI Chris. Paul G dragged his penalty wide but the game was so comfortable Tim could get on for the last 10 ensuring that everybody in the unusual large squad could play their part.
What they said.
‘ The frost got my hebes’.
‘What was the score? Did we lose?’ Jon showing that he left everything on the pitch. Also ‘2-0.’ ‘Who to?’
Groundsman Graham reminisces about being brethalysed. ‘ I blew 34.’ ‘Coppers?’
‘ I never cheat’. ‘He’s very honest he is’. Statements by and about Richard.
‘ On my way’.
2-0. (Baby, Paul D.)
Team: Lee, Matt, Baby, Paul G, Finchy, Chef, Jon, Chris, Smudge, Roy, Paul D, Tonksy, Taj, Steve R, Tim.
In a Sentence: Two penalties, both contested and both missed with Lee making an excellent save to deny Erith when it was still 0-0.
In a Word: Eventually.
The Goals: We had to wait to the last quarter before opening the scoring. When the Ref played advantage-or ignored the blatant handball and the perpetrator’s guilty reaction- Baby smashed the ball into the roof of the net after Taj had played the ball in and Baby’s flick on was handled.
Heroic work by Chef! If only he could play every week. He passed the ball out to Taj, got it back and even though challenged- he later, falsely, claimed a broken toe as a result of this-set up Paul D whose shot was so powerful that the keeper could only palm it into the net.
The Game: Having been under some pressure in the first 10 minutes or so our defence was dominant and apart from the excellent penalty save Lee had very little to do other than deal with over hit through balls. Going forward we were able to get behind both full backs but our final pass was too often inaccurate and when we had opportunities our shots were snatched and too often wayward. It was good to see Taj back and strongly involved on the right and in Doyley’s absence Roy was happy to go up front despite his contention that Paul D didn’t pass. Finchy was back – a definite upgrade on Tim at left back and with Matt on the right and Paul G and Baby in the middle the Erith forwards could do little. Their penalty came when Michael fell over Paul G’s leg with the former seemingly causing the contact. The spot kick was well struck but Lee dived to his left to push the ball away. The odd mumble of ‘Justice!’ could be heard.
With Smudge eager to play the downhill second half and Chef berated for ‘dog shit’ by cousin Lee in goal ( to be fair there were some shocking passes!) Tonksy and Taj entered the fray as the first subs. Jon and Chris stayed in centre midfield both doing well but the former was to be named man of the match for his box to box work.
The second half was one way traffic. Erith were not helped by an injury to their young midfielder but we were stronger all over the pitch. Several Erith players became frustrated with Michael dropping out of their forward line enabling our defenders greater scope to attack with Baby in particular getting forward regularly.Smudge was enjoying his downhill playmaking: an arm chair ride,
We probably deserved more than the two goals we scored. One promising attack was ended by a dubious flag from the Lino- not Richard but his replacement- our own DI Chris. Paul G dragged his penalty wide but the game was so comfortable Tim could get on for the last 10 ensuring that everybody in the unusual large squad could play their part.
What they said.
‘ The frost got my hebes’.
‘What was the score? Did we lose?’ Jon showing that he left everything on the pitch. Also ‘2-0.’ ‘Who to?’
Groundsman Graham reminisces about being brethalysed. ‘ I blew 34.’ ‘Coppers?’
‘ I never cheat’. ‘He’s very honest he is’. Statements by and about Richard.
‘ On my way’.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
Old Colfeians. Away. 03.04.22.
1-3. ( Doyley.)
Team: Tony, Steve R, Matt, Baby, Tim, Tatts Dean, Chris, Tonksy, Roy, Doyley, Paul D. ( Scholesy: Linesman.)
In a Sentence: A highly creditable, battling performance by the bare 11 against largely younger opponents, with the late third goal perhaps unfairly skewing the score line.
In a Word: Determined.
The Goal: Top quality from Doyley- taking advantage of defender and keeper indecision at the near post; several ricochets, last touch from Doyley’s right shin.
The Game: Having not played Old Colfe’s for decades it was good to see that their gaffer and Ref was still wearing his habitual cricket jumper. Now, however, it didn’t cover his stomach which was visible to all. Injuries and late drop outs could have left us short but Steve R answered Tim’s call to arms so that we could field 11. Scholesy failed his fitness test but showed himself an excellent linesman.
Having defended well for the first quarter of an hour we conceded twice in a couple of minutes. The first came when we failed to clear or play out and although Tony did well to get a hand to the deflected shot he couldn’t keep it out. He had no chance with the second as their forward was left unmarked to tap in a looped cross at the far post. Doyley’s poacher’s goal got us back to 2-1 at half time.
We might have equalised : Roy’s strong header beat the keeper but not the defender on the line. Baby hit a powerful free kick and when the ball came back out his drive was just over the bar. Several well delivered corners- from Baby and Roy – created opportunities but no one could get the vital touch. ‘Sticky’ ( he claimed that this was his nickname because he had instant control ) their chatty second half centre forward was, late on, able to bundle the ball in at the near post after a long throw. He was also given the title of ‘The Strangler’ as he was wearing rubber fronted workman’s gloves from his first half in goal.
Everyone put in a good shift with special mentions going to Chris who sweated through his virus manfully showing his mettle in the first minute with a firm clip on the young centre midfielder, Tony who made some fine saves including to push the ball away from an oppo foot having already made a fine one on one stop and Baby and Matt, rocks in heart of the defence who coped with Tim at left back and Steve R on the right.
What they said: ‘It’s not like you dominated the centre midfield Tonksy’, Baby bigs up our Philip Schofield lookalike. There then followed a general, passive aggressive inquisition of our Millwall photographer who was forced to reveal that he hasn’t had a proper job for close to four decades.
‘£5.40 for a pint of Morretti!! ‘. We had the run of the bar but the whip would have gone a lot further back at the club.
‘Remember, the pitch is really bumpy…’ Steve R at half time. 30 seconds into the second half he stumbled controlling the ball and fell over.
‘ They can’t handle me! ‘ The Strangler who was frequently offside and generally easily dispossessed when carrying the ball forward.
Old Colfeians. Away. 03.04.22.
1-3. ( Doyley.)
Team: Tony, Steve R, Matt, Baby, Tim, Tatts Dean, Chris, Tonksy, Roy, Doyley, Paul D. ( Scholesy: Linesman.)
In a Sentence: A highly creditable, battling performance by the bare 11 against largely younger opponents, with the late third goal perhaps unfairly skewing the score line.
In a Word: Determined.
The Goal: Top quality from Doyley- taking advantage of defender and keeper indecision at the near post; several ricochets, last touch from Doyley’s right shin.
The Game: Having not played Old Colfe’s for decades it was good to see that their gaffer and Ref was still wearing his habitual cricket jumper. Now, however, it didn’t cover his stomach which was visible to all. Injuries and late drop outs could have left us short but Steve R answered Tim’s call to arms so that we could field 11. Scholesy failed his fitness test but showed himself an excellent linesman.
Having defended well for the first quarter of an hour we conceded twice in a couple of minutes. The first came when we failed to clear or play out and although Tony did well to get a hand to the deflected shot he couldn’t keep it out. He had no chance with the second as their forward was left unmarked to tap in a looped cross at the far post. Doyley’s poacher’s goal got us back to 2-1 at half time.
We might have equalised : Roy’s strong header beat the keeper but not the defender on the line. Baby hit a powerful free kick and when the ball came back out his drive was just over the bar. Several well delivered corners- from Baby and Roy – created opportunities but no one could get the vital touch. ‘Sticky’ ( he claimed that this was his nickname because he had instant control ) their chatty second half centre forward was, late on, able to bundle the ball in at the near post after a long throw. He was also given the title of ‘The Strangler’ as he was wearing rubber fronted workman’s gloves from his first half in goal.
Everyone put in a good shift with special mentions going to Chris who sweated through his virus manfully showing his mettle in the first minute with a firm clip on the young centre midfielder, Tony who made some fine saves including to push the ball away from an oppo foot having already made a fine one on one stop and Baby and Matt, rocks in heart of the defence who coped with Tim at left back and Steve R on the right.
What they said: ‘It’s not like you dominated the centre midfield Tonksy’, Baby bigs up our Philip Schofield lookalike. There then followed a general, passive aggressive inquisition of our Millwall photographer who was forced to reveal that he hasn’t had a proper job for close to four decades.
‘£5.40 for a pint of Morretti!! ‘. We had the run of the bar but the whip would have gone a lot further back at the club.
‘Remember, the pitch is really bumpy…’ Steve R at half time. 30 seconds into the second half he stumbled controlling the ball and fell over.
‘ They can’t handle me! ‘ The Strangler who was frequently offside and generally easily dispossessed when carrying the ball forward.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
Inter Viagra. 27.03.22. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.
3-4. ( Doyley, Paul, Roy.)
Team: Tony, Tim, Baby, Matt, Roy, Jon, Chris, Smudge, Podge, Doyley, Paul, The Squire. ( Refs: Jerry, Jack.)
In a Sentence: It could have gone all Cudham.
In a Word: Schizophrenic.
The Goals: Doyley brought us back to 1-1 with a sweet free kick – a few players raised their eyebrows but he had done it before at SANCO a couple of seasons back. Clipped past the wall into the far corner. After a lot of second half pressure Paul pulled one back with a deft toe poke into the roof of the net having shown strength and skill in holding off and beating a couple of defenders. Roy’s fine header from Baby’s corner gave us hope.
The Game: With Paul G’s back ruling him out on the morning, Tatts Dean not showing up, Scholesy staying in Whitstable and the Squire not at the ground Tim had to ask Jack to come and Ref whilst having to start the game at right back. Jerry took the whistle to begin the game.
A powerfully struck angled drive that took a slight deflection off Baby flew in to give Inter a very early lead but Doyley soon equalised direct from a free kick given for the first of several high feet. The Squire, who’d anticipated a start as sub and perhaps Lino replaced Tim with Smudge moving to right back and Jack taking over as Ref.
What followed could be described as shocking but it was perhaps even worse than that. Frequently flat footed and regularly passing poorly when in possession we gave Inter control of the game. Their second goal involved a significant deflection Chris’s attempted block skewing the ball past Tony. Miskicks by the Squire and Matt further threatened our goal. Podge blasted over with the goal at his mercy and Paul snatched at another good chance. Worse was to follow : two unchalllenged headers made the half time score 4-1- the Tamps in disarray.
A robust and forthright half time chat led to better things. With Tony calling the game from the back, Paul from the front, Baby leading the defence and the Squire in midfield demanding greater commitment from all the Tamps rallied. Jon and Podge had several good runs and Paul was giving the defenders a torrid time. Skills, hardly seen in the first half were now apparent. Smudge’s drag back and chip down the line to the Squire was class but Roy’s twinkling toes drew gasps from both teams as he surged past two opponents in the tightest of spaces. As in the first half a Baby corner just needed the slightest touch as it flashed across goal.
Chris looked set to head home but couldn’t connect as he appeared to walk down a set of stairs. Our dominance deserved goals but they came late. Paul got the first : excellent control and a sharp finish raising our hopes. Roy, who had to be encouraged into the box for the corner, headed home to make it 3-4. Only minutes left we pressed for the equaliser but Inter defended well and given our first half ineptitude deserved the win.
What they said: ‘My timing was to be in time to run the Line’. The Squire arriving after 10 minutes of play.
‘Scroedinger’s cat?’ Podge on his return brings philosophical questioning to the proceedings.
‘ Now he’s dropped his pint!’ Collective wonder as Tony fails to hold on to his Moretti.
Inter Viagra. 27.03.22. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.
3-4. ( Doyley, Paul, Roy.)
Team: Tony, Tim, Baby, Matt, Roy, Jon, Chris, Smudge, Podge, Doyley, Paul, The Squire. ( Refs: Jerry, Jack.)
In a Sentence: It could have gone all Cudham.
In a Word: Schizophrenic.
The Goals: Doyley brought us back to 1-1 with a sweet free kick – a few players raised their eyebrows but he had done it before at SANCO a couple of seasons back. Clipped past the wall into the far corner. After a lot of second half pressure Paul pulled one back with a deft toe poke into the roof of the net having shown strength and skill in holding off and beating a couple of defenders. Roy’s fine header from Baby’s corner gave us hope.
The Game: With Paul G’s back ruling him out on the morning, Tatts Dean not showing up, Scholesy staying in Whitstable and the Squire not at the ground Tim had to ask Jack to come and Ref whilst having to start the game at right back. Jerry took the whistle to begin the game.
A powerfully struck angled drive that took a slight deflection off Baby flew in to give Inter a very early lead but Doyley soon equalised direct from a free kick given for the first of several high feet. The Squire, who’d anticipated a start as sub and perhaps Lino replaced Tim with Smudge moving to right back and Jack taking over as Ref.
What followed could be described as shocking but it was perhaps even worse than that. Frequently flat footed and regularly passing poorly when in possession we gave Inter control of the game. Their second goal involved a significant deflection Chris’s attempted block skewing the ball past Tony. Miskicks by the Squire and Matt further threatened our goal. Podge blasted over with the goal at his mercy and Paul snatched at another good chance. Worse was to follow : two unchalllenged headers made the half time score 4-1- the Tamps in disarray.
A robust and forthright half time chat led to better things. With Tony calling the game from the back, Paul from the front, Baby leading the defence and the Squire in midfield demanding greater commitment from all the Tamps rallied. Jon and Podge had several good runs and Paul was giving the defenders a torrid time. Skills, hardly seen in the first half were now apparent. Smudge’s drag back and chip down the line to the Squire was class but Roy’s twinkling toes drew gasps from both teams as he surged past two opponents in the tightest of spaces. As in the first half a Baby corner just needed the slightest touch as it flashed across goal.
Chris looked set to head home but couldn’t connect as he appeared to walk down a set of stairs. Our dominance deserved goals but they came late. Paul got the first : excellent control and a sharp finish raising our hopes. Roy, who had to be encouraged into the box for the corner, headed home to make it 3-4. Only minutes left we pressed for the equaliser but Inter defended well and given our first half ineptitude deserved the win.
What they said: ‘My timing was to be in time to run the Line’. The Squire arriving after 10 minutes of play.
‘Scroedinger’s cat?’ Podge on his return brings philosophical questioning to the proceedings.
‘ Now he’s dropped his pint!’ Collective wonder as Tony fails to hold on to his Moretti.
Date: 20/3/21 Oppo: Crofton Albion Score: 2-1 Scorers: John, Paul
Team: Tony - Matt Paul G DI Chris - Tats Dean John Tonksy Charlie SD -
Paul Roy Sub: SMUDGER
Ref: The Squire
In a word: Competetive
In a sentence: some good stuff, some not so
A lovely warm sunny day greeted both teams, yet again what we thought might be a squad of 14 turned into 12!. Crofton had a few changes to the side we beat 4-0 a month or so a go with 3 of their younger available. The first 25 minutes were not good from us, the midfield took an age to sort themselves out and our shape was all over the place. Crofton started the better and deserved their 1-0 lead, a poor goal, we never cleared our lines and got caught out, Tony should have done better with the initial shot and ended up pushing if to their young striker Simon who tapped in. We had a few good situations when we got round the back of the Crofton full backs, but, the final ball was not good enough or, when we did get a decent ball in there was nobody around to supply the final touch. We finally sorted ourselves out and had control of the last 20 minutes, a burst from Charlie saw the ball arrive at John's feet, he moved forward and toe punted a shot goalwards, a cruel bobble saw it bounce over Jamie the Crofton keepers hand and into the net 1-1 (John informs me that the toe punt is the finish of choice in Fussball??). Half time arrived and 1-1 was probably a fair scoreline.
The only change at h/t was Charlie off and Smudger on, we started the 2nd half well, a move down the left involving Smudger and Tonksy ended with SD finally getting a good cross in, it just drifted over the Crofton centre back and was volleyed in by Paul, 2-1 we then dominated for around 15 mins and had chances to put the game to bed but didn't take them. Crofton then went route one, and for the most part our defence coped pretty well with the onslaught, Crofton had a couple of half chances that Stoney and Simon both missed with headers. The game was played in a very good spirit and all concerned thought that The Squire had a very tidy game in the middle.
A win finally after a couple of good performances but no result. Onto next week and a meeting with Inter Vyagra, news on the grapevine says that they have recruited a very good Turkish forward which should make for and interesting morning for our defenders.
After the game:
Doyley leaves without a shower (again)(no beer)
Paul G stays for a drink!
Charlie is on WATER!
DI Chris has work to do (no beer)
Tats Dean can't stay (no beer)
Matt has to go home to finish the painting (no beer)
Roy doesn't know which team to sit with
Tonsky has a pint and a half of lager in the sun (we know how that ends!)
Tony safely holds onto his pint!
John talks Fussball!
So just Smudger and The Squire in the whip, we had a nice time.
Team: Tony - Matt Paul G DI Chris - Tats Dean John Tonksy Charlie SD -
Paul Roy Sub: SMUDGER
Ref: The Squire
In a word: Competetive
In a sentence: some good stuff, some not so
A lovely warm sunny day greeted both teams, yet again what we thought might be a squad of 14 turned into 12!. Crofton had a few changes to the side we beat 4-0 a month or so a go with 3 of their younger available. The first 25 minutes were not good from us, the midfield took an age to sort themselves out and our shape was all over the place. Crofton started the better and deserved their 1-0 lead, a poor goal, we never cleared our lines and got caught out, Tony should have done better with the initial shot and ended up pushing if to their young striker Simon who tapped in. We had a few good situations when we got round the back of the Crofton full backs, but, the final ball was not good enough or, when we did get a decent ball in there was nobody around to supply the final touch. We finally sorted ourselves out and had control of the last 20 minutes, a burst from Charlie saw the ball arrive at John's feet, he moved forward and toe punted a shot goalwards, a cruel bobble saw it bounce over Jamie the Crofton keepers hand and into the net 1-1 (John informs me that the toe punt is the finish of choice in Fussball??). Half time arrived and 1-1 was probably a fair scoreline.
The only change at h/t was Charlie off and Smudger on, we started the 2nd half well, a move down the left involving Smudger and Tonksy ended with SD finally getting a good cross in, it just drifted over the Crofton centre back and was volleyed in by Paul, 2-1 we then dominated for around 15 mins and had chances to put the game to bed but didn't take them. Crofton then went route one, and for the most part our defence coped pretty well with the onslaught, Crofton had a couple of half chances that Stoney and Simon both missed with headers. The game was played in a very good spirit and all concerned thought that The Squire had a very tidy game in the middle.
A win finally after a couple of good performances but no result. Onto next week and a meeting with Inter Vyagra, news on the grapevine says that they have recruited a very good Turkish forward which should make for and interesting morning for our defenders.
After the game:
Doyley leaves without a shower (again)(no beer)
Paul G stays for a drink!
Charlie is on WATER!
DI Chris has work to do (no beer)
Tats Dean can't stay (no beer)
Matt has to go home to finish the painting (no beer)
Roy doesn't know which team to sit with
Tonsky has a pint and a half of lager in the sun (we know how that ends!)
Tony safely holds onto his pint!
John talks Fussball!
So just Smudger and The Squire in the whip, we had a nice time.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
Wellcome. Home : Tennis Court Pitch. 13.03.22.
2-3 ( The Squire, Paul)
Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chris, Roy, The Squire, Jon, Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, Paul, Wellcome Rich ( guesting for the last 10). Tim: Ref.
In a Sentence: A strong performance and one that merited a draw at least; a good contest played in good spirit and with good humour.
In a Word: Better!
The Goals: The Squire brought us level with a sharp first touch finish at the near post after we’d worked the ball down the right and Paul got behind the defence cutting along the byline and picking out Mick’s well judged run.
Tim as Ref could claim a half assist as he’d been hit by the ball. Baby then hit a fine diagonal pass over the left back for Paul to latch onto. He had a lot to do but an excellent first touch set up his drive towards goal and his strong, slightly toe poked shot gave the young keeper no chance.
The Game: With Tonksy passing his fitness test and the Squire heroically agreeing to play – until 12 o’clock (arriving with tuxedo for his later function but no shorts- a sight for Amy to behold: old school white Y-fronts) we could field a starting 11. Wellcome had some younger players but were closer to a Super Vets side than they’d been in some recent fixtures. Their 42 year old forward opened the scoring after we’d given the ball away- some things don’t change. He had a bit to do but was able to beat several defenders and Tony before rolling the ball into the net. We’d given a good account of ourselves in the opening exchanges and we defended well, challenged strongly in midfield and looked threatening up front. The Squire’s equaliser was a fine and deserved equaliser.
Wellcome’s breakaway second came against the run of play but we were very much in the game. Finchy was breaking up a lot of attacks- well supported by Matt, who was refraining from assaulting his opponents and Chris who was making the converted left back slot his own AND receiving some good help from Doyley. Baby was a dominant presence and his goal bound free kick was just deflected wide.
Wellcome’s third was a fluke. From wide on the left Lee shanked a cross that Tony watched carefully: only when it was too late did he realise the miscue was dipping under the bar.
Paul’s powerful strike got us back to 3-2 but despite Tonksy’s effort from distance, Doyley trying to score with his face and a late goal mouth scramble we couldn’t get the equaliser.
Roy clearly felt that he wasn’t get the service he deserved in particular feeling that Jon and Paul were doing too much themselves and after a lot of moaning left the pitch when Tim suggested he give it a break.Tonksy the Negotiator talked him round. For the record Jon and Paul and the rest of the team worked tirelessly. Another defeat but a much better performance.
What they said: ‘If he’d had a glove he’d have challenged him to a duel.’ A reference to the Squire’s forthright defence of his honour when accused of cheating by Wellcome’s midfield maestro Alex.
‘ You can call me things but you can’t call me a cheat!’ The Squire emphasised his point with an assertive chest bump.
‘Oh when I was single! Those grab a granny nights in the Black Prince!’ Baby gets somewhat nostalgic for his Lothario years.
Wellcome. Home : Tennis Court Pitch. 13.03.22.
2-3 ( The Squire, Paul)
Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chris, Roy, The Squire, Jon, Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, Paul, Wellcome Rich ( guesting for the last 10). Tim: Ref.
In a Sentence: A strong performance and one that merited a draw at least; a good contest played in good spirit and with good humour.
In a Word: Better!
The Goals: The Squire brought us level with a sharp first touch finish at the near post after we’d worked the ball down the right and Paul got behind the defence cutting along the byline and picking out Mick’s well judged run.
Tim as Ref could claim a half assist as he’d been hit by the ball. Baby then hit a fine diagonal pass over the left back for Paul to latch onto. He had a lot to do but an excellent first touch set up his drive towards goal and his strong, slightly toe poked shot gave the young keeper no chance.
The Game: With Tonksy passing his fitness test and the Squire heroically agreeing to play – until 12 o’clock (arriving with tuxedo for his later function but no shorts- a sight for Amy to behold: old school white Y-fronts) we could field a starting 11. Wellcome had some younger players but were closer to a Super Vets side than they’d been in some recent fixtures. Their 42 year old forward opened the scoring after we’d given the ball away- some things don’t change. He had a bit to do but was able to beat several defenders and Tony before rolling the ball into the net. We’d given a good account of ourselves in the opening exchanges and we defended well, challenged strongly in midfield and looked threatening up front. The Squire’s equaliser was a fine and deserved equaliser.
Wellcome’s breakaway second came against the run of play but we were very much in the game. Finchy was breaking up a lot of attacks- well supported by Matt, who was refraining from assaulting his opponents and Chris who was making the converted left back slot his own AND receiving some good help from Doyley. Baby was a dominant presence and his goal bound free kick was just deflected wide.
Wellcome’s third was a fluke. From wide on the left Lee shanked a cross that Tony watched carefully: only when it was too late did he realise the miscue was dipping under the bar.
Paul’s powerful strike got us back to 3-2 but despite Tonksy’s effort from distance, Doyley trying to score with his face and a late goal mouth scramble we couldn’t get the equaliser.
Roy clearly felt that he wasn’t get the service he deserved in particular feeling that Jon and Paul were doing too much themselves and after a lot of moaning left the pitch when Tim suggested he give it a break.Tonksy the Negotiator talked him round. For the record Jon and Paul and the rest of the team worked tirelessly. Another defeat but a much better performance.
What they said: ‘If he’d had a glove he’d have challenged him to a duel.’ A reference to the Squire’s forthright defence of his honour when accused of cheating by Wellcome’s midfield maestro Alex.
‘ You can call me things but you can’t call me a cheat!’ The Squire emphasised his point with an assertive chest bump.
‘Oh when I was single! Those grab a granny nights in the Black Prince!’ Baby gets somewhat nostalgic for his Lothario years.
Cudham. Home,Tennis Court Pitch. 06.03.22.
2-7. ( Tatts Dean, Paul.)
Team: Tony, Matt, Shaun, Finchy, Baby, Tatts Dean, Jon, Smudge, Chris, Roy, Paul, Doyley, The Squire. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Doyley had an outstanding first half.
In a Word: Forgettable!
The Goals: It started so well! Dean opened the scoring with an unstoppable drive from a tight angle. Paul added the second driving into the box and finishing well steering the ball inside the near post. In between Cudham had scored five.
The Game: Roy was outstanding- when he played centre back for the oppo when they went a man down. Having scored the first goal Dean showed superb commitment chasing back, winning the ball and passing it to the Cudham forward for a tap in. We’d like several other assists to be taken into account. We should also like to present a range of missed chances for scrutiny: Paul missed a few; Baby claimed to miss twenty. The highlight – apart from Doyley’s arrival for the second half was superb work from Smudger controlling the ball on his chest and crashing to the ground with style and grace : performance art, physical theatre symbolising our somewhat mixed performance. Onwards and upwards!
2-7. ( Tatts Dean, Paul.)
Team: Tony, Matt, Shaun, Finchy, Baby, Tatts Dean, Jon, Smudge, Chris, Roy, Paul, Doyley, The Squire. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Doyley had an outstanding first half.
In a Word: Forgettable!
The Goals: It started so well! Dean opened the scoring with an unstoppable drive from a tight angle. Paul added the second driving into the box and finishing well steering the ball inside the near post. In between Cudham had scored five.
The Game: Roy was outstanding- when he played centre back for the oppo when they went a man down. Having scored the first goal Dean showed superb commitment chasing back, winning the ball and passing it to the Cudham forward for a tap in. We’d like several other assists to be taken into account. We should also like to present a range of missed chances for scrutiny: Paul missed a few; Baby claimed to miss twenty. The highlight – apart from Doyley’s arrival for the second half was superb work from Smudger controlling the ball on his chest and crashing to the ground with style and grace : performance art, physical theatre symbolising our somewhat mixed performance. Onwards and upwards!
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
SANCO. Away. Catford Wanderers Sports Ground. 20.02.22.
0-2.
Team: Tony, Mitch, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chris, Jon, Smudge, Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, The Squire, Tim.
In a Sentence: Plenty of possession and – until a late calamity- strong defence- but a lack of cutting edge up top.
In a Word: Windy!
The Game: We we’re weakened by Paul G’s late withdrawal and SANCO were even more effected by five overnight dropouts. The latter provided both comedy and handbags. As they were a man short they borrowed one of the Catford subs who enthusiastically took up his place up front. Eagerness and energy take you so far and in his case it repeatedly took him into offside positions to such an extent that he became both frustrated and angry. After restricted but aggressive dialogue he confronted Baby one time too many and after a feinted head butt was, unsurprisingly, grabbed by the throat. He then fled from the pitch- before scampering back to return his shirt. Tim, fully warmed up by consistent flag raising replaced him.
SANCO had a fair bit of pace and youth on the flanks but it wasn’t clear if their regular 30-something centre forward or Tim was the more mobile attacker. Tony was tested and made a series of good saves but our defence was effective with Baby and Finchy in particular playing well. Our midfield play was strong too – Tonksy and Jon winning a lot of ball even if the former regularly wandered far from his left sided berth, Chris restricted oppo forays down our right and Smudge anchored things ensuring we kept the ball.
Late in the first half Tim flicked on a corner and the subsequent miskicked clearance fell to SANCO Elder Dean. His drive was firm but a deflection gave Tony no chance. 0-1 at the break.
After a busy first 45 Mitch gave way to the Squire, Chris dropping back to full back. The even contest continued with Tony the busier keeper but both custodians again making good saves. Baby’s strong shot from distance was smartly turned round the post. A dipping cross was watchfully and acrobatically tipped over the bar.The game’s quality was perhaps best illustrated by Doyley’s determined attempt whilst lying on the floor to keep the ball, sadly his mud level header didn’t find a team mate. Roy looked on forlornly.
Chris’ commitment was apparent late on when he headbutted the scaffolding pole behind the goal and having replaced our DI, Mitch was poleaxed in an accidental collision. In the final meaningful action Baby’s back pass was under hit; Tony and Matt collided and the ball broke for Michael to stroke the ball into the now empty goal and seal the SANCO victory.
What they said: ‘Who do I have to apologise to?’ ‘ The team: you made a scene.’ Amy is critical of Baby’s aggressive self defence.
‘You’re a driving instructor. You’re meant to see hazards ahead’.
‘ Don’t swear at me behind my back you sad, cheating twat’. Tim squares up to Catford Wanderers gaffer Dave after first ignoring him when he snidely stated that we were unhappy with their youth policy.
SANCO. Away. Catford Wanderers Sports Ground. 20.02.22.
0-2.
Team: Tony, Mitch, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chris, Jon, Smudge, Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, The Squire, Tim.
In a Sentence: Plenty of possession and – until a late calamity- strong defence- but a lack of cutting edge up top.
In a Word: Windy!
The Game: We we’re weakened by Paul G’s late withdrawal and SANCO were even more effected by five overnight dropouts. The latter provided both comedy and handbags. As they were a man short they borrowed one of the Catford subs who enthusiastically took up his place up front. Eagerness and energy take you so far and in his case it repeatedly took him into offside positions to such an extent that he became both frustrated and angry. After restricted but aggressive dialogue he confronted Baby one time too many and after a feinted head butt was, unsurprisingly, grabbed by the throat. He then fled from the pitch- before scampering back to return his shirt. Tim, fully warmed up by consistent flag raising replaced him.
SANCO had a fair bit of pace and youth on the flanks but it wasn’t clear if their regular 30-something centre forward or Tim was the more mobile attacker. Tony was tested and made a series of good saves but our defence was effective with Baby and Finchy in particular playing well. Our midfield play was strong too – Tonksy and Jon winning a lot of ball even if the former regularly wandered far from his left sided berth, Chris restricted oppo forays down our right and Smudge anchored things ensuring we kept the ball.
Late in the first half Tim flicked on a corner and the subsequent miskicked clearance fell to SANCO Elder Dean. His drive was firm but a deflection gave Tony no chance. 0-1 at the break.
After a busy first 45 Mitch gave way to the Squire, Chris dropping back to full back. The even contest continued with Tony the busier keeper but both custodians again making good saves. Baby’s strong shot from distance was smartly turned round the post. A dipping cross was watchfully and acrobatically tipped over the bar.The game’s quality was perhaps best illustrated by Doyley’s determined attempt whilst lying on the floor to keep the ball, sadly his mud level header didn’t find a team mate. Roy looked on forlornly.
Chris’ commitment was apparent late on when he headbutted the scaffolding pole behind the goal and having replaced our DI, Mitch was poleaxed in an accidental collision. In the final meaningful action Baby’s back pass was under hit; Tony and Matt collided and the ball broke for Michael to stroke the ball into the now empty goal and seal the SANCO victory.
What they said: ‘Who do I have to apologise to?’ ‘ The team: you made a scene.’ Amy is critical of Baby’s aggressive self defence.
‘You’re a driving instructor. You’re meant to see hazards ahead’.
‘ Don’t swear at me behind my back you sad, cheating twat’. Tim squares up to Catford Wanderers gaffer Dave after first ignoring him when he snidely stated that we were unhappy with their youth policy.
Ashburnham Arms. Home, Tennis Court Pitch. 13.02.22.
1-5. ( Chris, pen.)
Team: Tony, Matt, Finchy, Chris, Mitch, Jon, Smudge,Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, New Paul, The Squire. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: For the last 70 minutes we were quite competitive.
In a Word: Shocking.
The Game: We had some moments. Roy delivered 50% of his corners with good effect. He also missed our best chance in open play and made a strong bid for the Earth Moved award with an impressive fall. Finchy had a strong header well saved. New Paul worked tirelessly and a desperate assault from behind bringing him down as he closed in on goal earned us a penalty that was expertly tucked away by Chris. (Sadly Scholesy wasn’t watching.) However, as our passing was highly effective in setting up the Ash forwards in the first 20 minutes we’ll draw a line under this one…………
There’s always the next game…oh dear, young SANCO.
1-5. ( Chris, pen.)
Team: Tony, Matt, Finchy, Chris, Mitch, Jon, Smudge,Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, New Paul, The Squire. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: For the last 70 minutes we were quite competitive.
In a Word: Shocking.
The Game: We had some moments. Roy delivered 50% of his corners with good effect. He also missed our best chance in open play and made a strong bid for the Earth Moved award with an impressive fall. Finchy had a strong header well saved. New Paul worked tirelessly and a desperate assault from behind bringing him down as he closed in on goal earned us a penalty that was expertly tucked away by Chris. (Sadly Scholesy wasn’t watching.) However, as our passing was highly effective in setting up the Ash forwards in the first 20 minutes we’ll draw a line under this one…………
There’s always the next game…oh dear, young SANCO.
Crofton Away: Weigall Road. 06.02.22.
4-0. (New Paul (2), Chef, Doyley)
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Mitch, Chef, Chris, Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, New Paul,Baby,The Squire, Tim.
In a Sentence: Two teams searching for a football match; a game played with the right spirit involving the return of the Squire.
In a Word: Roy!!!
The Goals: New Paul’s first: similar to that against Catford- blasted home from 12 yards; the second placed low beating the keeper at his left hand post. Chef: his signature goal, driven home on the angle, cutting in from the right picking up a defender’s miskick. Doyley: eventually prodding home, dribbling in on goal after New P’s called for dummy, working very hard to get the ball on his left foot.
The Game: Several factors conspired to ensure that, particularly in the first quarter, this was not a feast of football- the slope, the mud, the wind, the Tamps inability to pass to each other and Labour Tommy’s birthday party the night before significantly impacting on the Crofton players, all these had effect.
Baby’s introduction, giving Matt, rather worse for wear after a day at the darts, may have changed things as we scored 3 times before the break. Apart from the goals other first half highlights included Scholesy assessing our new centre forward, Mitch getting to the byline to stroke a cross to the near post,
a slight and disappointing altercation between Chef and Stoney and Smudge, appraising the quality of football, quickly joining Steve R in saying he was happy to wait until the mid point before entering the fray. The second half was all downhill.
A fourth goal was a longtime coming. Matt, refreshed after his rest, had a surge forward but his shot didn’t work the keeper. Steve R seemed to shoot rather than cross and Baby, enjoying a quarter in midfield, crashed his drive against the bar when set up by Chef. Whilst Doyley would claim his goal as the highlight the Squire’s return for the last 15 after a 60 minute warm up was welcomed by all. Tony saved everything he needed to, letting the post do the work on one occasion. He and the defence, with Paul G and Finchy in particular limiting Crofton to half chances or the odd shot from distance thoroughly deserved the clean sheet.. In a last act of effectiveness Roy sprinted back from his forward role to make an important tackle in our box. Tim enjoyed the uphill run to tackle Neil and was happy to play the last 10 after the full game the previous week. We perhaps could have had a few more but we controlled the game with Chris dominant,Chef thrusting, Smudge composed and Tonksy everywhere, in midfield. A satisfying win – followed by a quick one in the Crofton bar and a few more back at the Roan.
What they said: ‘He’s our best player’. Scholesy is impressed by Chef’s all round play.
‘Foxes kill for the sake of it’ ‘So do you.’ Pre-match bants as Baby talks about his latest hunting excursion. (Apparently he had a ‘great head shot’ he was going to show Roy.)
Post match discussion included Steve R’s dubious outline on the origin of ‘Cockney’- centred on a cocked knee. Also keen interest in the venison liver given to Smudge.
And to the elder brother – from barman Kev: ‘Podge your Dad has left his liver in the fridge.’
4-0. (New Paul (2), Chef, Doyley)
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Mitch, Chef, Chris, Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, New Paul,Baby,The Squire, Tim.
In a Sentence: Two teams searching for a football match; a game played with the right spirit involving the return of the Squire.
In a Word: Roy!!!
The Goals: New Paul’s first: similar to that against Catford- blasted home from 12 yards; the second placed low beating the keeper at his left hand post. Chef: his signature goal, driven home on the angle, cutting in from the right picking up a defender’s miskick. Doyley: eventually prodding home, dribbling in on goal after New P’s called for dummy, working very hard to get the ball on his left foot.
The Game: Several factors conspired to ensure that, particularly in the first quarter, this was not a feast of football- the slope, the mud, the wind, the Tamps inability to pass to each other and Labour Tommy’s birthday party the night before significantly impacting on the Crofton players, all these had effect.
Baby’s introduction, giving Matt, rather worse for wear after a day at the darts, may have changed things as we scored 3 times before the break. Apart from the goals other first half highlights included Scholesy assessing our new centre forward, Mitch getting to the byline to stroke a cross to the near post,
a slight and disappointing altercation between Chef and Stoney and Smudge, appraising the quality of football, quickly joining Steve R in saying he was happy to wait until the mid point before entering the fray. The second half was all downhill.
A fourth goal was a longtime coming. Matt, refreshed after his rest, had a surge forward but his shot didn’t work the keeper. Steve R seemed to shoot rather than cross and Baby, enjoying a quarter in midfield, crashed his drive against the bar when set up by Chef. Whilst Doyley would claim his goal as the highlight the Squire’s return for the last 15 after a 60 minute warm up was welcomed by all. Tony saved everything he needed to, letting the post do the work on one occasion. He and the defence, with Paul G and Finchy in particular limiting Crofton to half chances or the odd shot from distance thoroughly deserved the clean sheet.. In a last act of effectiveness Roy sprinted back from his forward role to make an important tackle in our box. Tim enjoyed the uphill run to tackle Neil and was happy to play the last 10 after the full game the previous week. We perhaps could have had a few more but we controlled the game with Chris dominant,Chef thrusting, Smudge composed and Tonksy everywhere, in midfield. A satisfying win – followed by a quick one in the Crofton bar and a few more back at the Roan.
What they said: ‘He’s our best player’. Scholesy is impressed by Chef’s all round play.
‘Foxes kill for the sake of it’ ‘So do you.’ Pre-match bants as Baby talks about his latest hunting excursion. (Apparently he had a ‘great head shot’ he was going to show Roy.)
Post match discussion included Steve R’s dubious outline on the origin of ‘Cockney’- centred on a cocked knee. Also keen interest in the venison liver given to Smudge.
And to the elder brother – from barman Kev: ‘Podge your Dad has left his liver in the fridge.’
Catford Wanderers. Away. 30.01.22.
1-5. (new Paul)
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Baby, Tim, Jon, Chris, Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, New Paul.
In a Sentence: A bare eleven battled well and played the better football-even if the score line might not seem to show it.
In a Word: Cheated.
The Goal: Excellent pressure on the Catford defence led to mistakes and our repossession of the ball which was worked to Paul who smashed it home with the strongest of drives.
The Game: Catford had been told they should field a Super Vets side; they flagrantly chose to ignore this. Whilst manager Dave – showing a level of mendacity matching that of the Prime Minister- stated that there was only one player under 40, one of their few Super Vets apologised that there were at least 7 players under 35.
Whilst Tim knew that Smudge might need to withdraw due to family commitments after the birth of his third granddaughter he still expected to have a squad. However COVID, a youth fixture and Tatts Dean sleeping in the gutter meant we had no subs. Catford had close to a dozen.
However, the sun was shining, Racquel eventually arrived to ref and the Tamps were ready to go.
It didn’t start well. An early mistake presented the oppo with an easy opportunity and the opening goal but we fought back well. Matt, Paul G and Baby were strong at the back as we dealt with a series of attacks. Chris enjoyed some strong tackles in midfield sliding in with good effect. Both Tonksy and Jon were intercepting passes and setting up attacks and Doyley was working hard. Most importantly Tony made a series of excellent saves-hands, body, feet, face. The best was from a free kick which he did really well to get a firm hand to and push onto and over the bar. Roy was strongly defended but worked hard and this helped to set up our equaliser. Closed down by our attackers Catford lost the ball and New Paul -on debut- smashed it home , the power of his shot also sending the keeper back into the net. Catford rightly lost a man to the sin bin for swearing at the Ref when claiming a penalty- they were rattled by our good play and strong team work. 1-1 at half time.
With the bare 11 including Tim in his 66th year playing the 90 it was going to be a tough second half especially with Catford making full use of their vast young squad. They did score one fine goal : a perfectly judged curling left foot shot from wide out arrowing in to the far top corner. They also had two clearly offside efforts given, one when the forward was the only player apart from Tony in our half and prior to this the same player offside when his team mate headed on. We felt their Lino was somewhat inadequate. After such a strong defensive performance it was a shame that Matt, ignoring calls of ‘Get rid!’, tried and failed to play out from the back another goal resulting. 5-1 but there was no doubt who had won the moral high ground.
What they said: ‘It was 1-1 when I turned up.’ Albatross Podge.
‘ Talk us through that turn Chris.’ Chris’ second half skill magic requires post match analysis.
‘ The keeper closed me down quickly’. Doyley seeks to excuse his first half miss when VERY well placed.
‘ gents sorry i didn’t make it i woke up in the gutter this morning 😩😩😩’ Tatts Dean’s WhatsApp apology for his no show. We’re not allowed to publish the accompanying photo
1-5. (new Paul)
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Baby, Tim, Jon, Chris, Tonksy, Doyley, Roy, New Paul.
In a Sentence: A bare eleven battled well and played the better football-even if the score line might not seem to show it.
In a Word: Cheated.
The Goal: Excellent pressure on the Catford defence led to mistakes and our repossession of the ball which was worked to Paul who smashed it home with the strongest of drives.
The Game: Catford had been told they should field a Super Vets side; they flagrantly chose to ignore this. Whilst manager Dave – showing a level of mendacity matching that of the Prime Minister- stated that there was only one player under 40, one of their few Super Vets apologised that there were at least 7 players under 35.
Whilst Tim knew that Smudge might need to withdraw due to family commitments after the birth of his third granddaughter he still expected to have a squad. However COVID, a youth fixture and Tatts Dean sleeping in the gutter meant we had no subs. Catford had close to a dozen.
However, the sun was shining, Racquel eventually arrived to ref and the Tamps were ready to go.
It didn’t start well. An early mistake presented the oppo with an easy opportunity and the opening goal but we fought back well. Matt, Paul G and Baby were strong at the back as we dealt with a series of attacks. Chris enjoyed some strong tackles in midfield sliding in with good effect. Both Tonksy and Jon were intercepting passes and setting up attacks and Doyley was working hard. Most importantly Tony made a series of excellent saves-hands, body, feet, face. The best was from a free kick which he did really well to get a firm hand to and push onto and over the bar. Roy was strongly defended but worked hard and this helped to set up our equaliser. Closed down by our attackers Catford lost the ball and New Paul -on debut- smashed it home , the power of his shot also sending the keeper back into the net. Catford rightly lost a man to the sin bin for swearing at the Ref when claiming a penalty- they were rattled by our good play and strong team work. 1-1 at half time.
With the bare 11 including Tim in his 66th year playing the 90 it was going to be a tough second half especially with Catford making full use of their vast young squad. They did score one fine goal : a perfectly judged curling left foot shot from wide out arrowing in to the far top corner. They also had two clearly offside efforts given, one when the forward was the only player apart from Tony in our half and prior to this the same player offside when his team mate headed on. We felt their Lino was somewhat inadequate. After such a strong defensive performance it was a shame that Matt, ignoring calls of ‘Get rid!’, tried and failed to play out from the back another goal resulting. 5-1 but there was no doubt who had won the moral high ground.
What they said: ‘It was 1-1 when I turned up.’ Albatross Podge.
‘ Talk us through that turn Chris.’ Chris’ second half skill magic requires post match analysis.
‘ The keeper closed me down quickly’. Doyley seeks to excuse his first half miss when VERY well placed.
‘ gents sorry i didn’t make it i woke up in the gutter this morning 😩😩😩’ Tatts Dean’s WhatsApp apology for his no show. We’re not allowed to publish the accompanying photo
Wellcome. Away: Beckenham Sports Club. 23.01.22
1-4. (Chef.)
Team: Tony, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chef, Jon, Chris, Tonksy, Smudge, Podge, Dean, Steve R, Tim (Lino.)
In a Sentence: When you don’t take your chances at this level you’ll be punished!
In a Word: Disbelief.
The Goal: A fine move and a tidy finish. Ball moved forward well from the back and through midfield with Tatts Dean extending the developing bromance, feeding Chef whose controlled first touch allowed him to then steer a left footed finish that gave the keeper no chance.
The Game: With the oppo fielding a mixed age but closer to Super Vets side we expected a competitive contest; however we were 2-0 down after 10 minutes. The opener was avoidable as Baby’s angry outburst indicated. Having given the ball away under limited pressure the Wellcome centre back was allowed to advance from deep, essentially unchallenged, to scuff a shot from the edge of the box that beat Tony’s dive and trickled in by the post. Soon after a harsh penalty was the result of a collision between Tony and the advancing forward and the spot kick was well taken.
The rest of the half was all Tamps as we kept and used the ball well, penetrated down both flanks and pulled one back. Surely an equaliser would come?
We were even more threatening in the second half. Good chances were created but not converted. Dean’s air shot and fall with the goal at his mercy was the most comical. Matt on a rare surge forward went close with a left foot drive that was just wide but did bring the first C-bomb of the game. Chef who finished so well to get us back in the game chose to volley first time when a touch could have been taken or a header a better option. We also failed to connect with some well delivered set pieces particularly from Baby’s free kicks: one brushing Finchy’s forehead and Steve R failing to get to the far post despite Tim’s call that it was a going to be a Mr Rogers goal. Tonksy had a decent effort again after some well controlled play. Surely an equaliser was inevitable?
Jon who was having another strong game defensively and going forward let the ball run, dummying his marker, and sharply turning away to reach the byline. His ball across the goal seemed perfect but Podge, apparently unsighted, was unable to connect. Our time had come and gone.
Wellcome had defended well and playing on the break had been limited by overeager forwards too often being offside. Then they got it right after we’d lost possession and as the ball was played behind our defence Tony decided to come out for a run hurtling towards the left angle of the area. He didn’t make it-their midfielder did. A strong left footed shot was on target but Baby was perfectly positioned to chest it away: if only if one of our flabbier players had been there but unfortunately those powerful pecs deflected the ball perfectly for the onrushing centre forward to side foot firmly into the net avoiding Tonksy’s last ditch on the line effort. Wellcome continued to press as Chef departed to deliver the Sunday roast and as we tired. Chris lost his sense of direction in our box and prodded the ball towards- rather than away from- goal. Finchy’s goal saving tackle was exceptional. The fourth, the last action of the game came from a corner that should have been cleared: that’s what happens if you don’t take your chances when your on top.
And they said: ‘F**k off! Yellow boots!!’ ‘ Good stuff mate! Going past a 68 year old’. Finchy sarcastically to the young bearded centre half. ( Smudge isn’t 65 until April. ). ‘I couldn’t get pink bibs- they’re purple.’ ‘You’re the most honest Lino I’ve seen’.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
Ashburnham Arms 02.01.22 Away fixture played at Sam Montague.
6-3 Scholesy (2), Chef (2), Podge, Doyley.
Team: Roy, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chef, Chris, Smudge, Stuart, Doyley, Podge, Scholesy, Debut Dean, Tim ( Refs- for their fixture!!! Tim and Chris.
In a Sentence: Some fine strikes – with Finchy’s probably the pick.
In a Word: Eventually.
The Goals: Putting us level Scholesy opened our scoring reacting well to arrow the ball home after another Baby ‘shot’ from Dean’s rolled free kick ricocheted around the box. 1-1 at half time. Podge put us ahead with a fine, deliberately placed drive from outside the box. Debut Dean set up Chef to poke the ball past the advancing keeper. Dean made it 4 crossing from the left and finding the net, bypassing the 4 well placed teammates in and around the 6 yard box. Scholesy’s second almost matched Podge’s strike for quality, thumped home from just inside the box. The Predator, Doyley, conpleted the scoring skilfully flicking the ball onto his backside and into the net from 3 yards out.
The Game: Eventually we were able to dominate possession and the game and whilst we scored some good goals the Ash players worked hard and sustained their challenge well into the second half. Only an outstanding save at the near post from Roy, excellent reactions enabling him to get a vital strong hand to a close range shot, stopped the Ash going 2-0 up. 1-1 at half time.
Chef was very much to the fore in the second half enjoying a more central midfield position, spurred on by the early stage bromance with Debut Dean who was adding tatts and pace on the right. He not only frequently won possession-even using his face on one occasion- but he seemed to make the game safe with two quick goals after Podge’s outstanding strike had given us the lead.The Ash teenager belted in a screamer on the break but it was Finchy who was determined to keep the game a contest. Instead of rescuing the chaotic situation in our box and clearing the ball to safety he smashed a half volley into his own goal. Quality!
Having earlier missed a great chance when set free by Baby’s slide rule pass sidefooting the ball wide when giving ¾ of the goal to aim at Scholesy added our fifth and the game was truly safe when Doyley pounced. Scholesy set up Tim in front of goal but his considered effort was kept out by the excellent keeper. Matt’s surging run ended disappointingly when he unwisely shot when there were several unmarked team mates in the box. A goal kick was the inevitable outcome. Smudge brought some control and sedate calm back to the Ash playing for the oppo in place of injured Kev who had , much earlier, opened the scoring. Chris enthusiastically reffed the last 7 minutes giving Tim his runout.
‘C**t!’ Baby after 15 minutes.
‘ I WAS trying to f**king clear it! ‘. Finchy.
‘I was aiming that way- it went that way’. Matt
‘I’m reffing your f**king fixture for you!’ One sentence from Tim’s hissy fit rant when Ash players too vigorously contested an offside decision.
‘On the bog we’ve got half a chance’. Podge on playing our next game against Canning Town on the Quaggy.
Ashburnham Arms 02.01.22 Away fixture played at Sam Montague.
6-3 Scholesy (2), Chef (2), Podge, Doyley.
Team: Roy, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chef, Chris, Smudge, Stuart, Doyley, Podge, Scholesy, Debut Dean, Tim ( Refs- for their fixture!!! Tim and Chris.
In a Sentence: Some fine strikes – with Finchy’s probably the pick.
In a Word: Eventually.
The Goals: Putting us level Scholesy opened our scoring reacting well to arrow the ball home after another Baby ‘shot’ from Dean’s rolled free kick ricocheted around the box. 1-1 at half time. Podge put us ahead with a fine, deliberately placed drive from outside the box. Debut Dean set up Chef to poke the ball past the advancing keeper. Dean made it 4 crossing from the left and finding the net, bypassing the 4 well placed teammates in and around the 6 yard box. Scholesy’s second almost matched Podge’s strike for quality, thumped home from just inside the box. The Predator, Doyley, conpleted the scoring skilfully flicking the ball onto his backside and into the net from 3 yards out.
The Game: Eventually we were able to dominate possession and the game and whilst we scored some good goals the Ash players worked hard and sustained their challenge well into the second half. Only an outstanding save at the near post from Roy, excellent reactions enabling him to get a vital strong hand to a close range shot, stopped the Ash going 2-0 up. 1-1 at half time.
Chef was very much to the fore in the second half enjoying a more central midfield position, spurred on by the early stage bromance with Debut Dean who was adding tatts and pace on the right. He not only frequently won possession-even using his face on one occasion- but he seemed to make the game safe with two quick goals after Podge’s outstanding strike had given us the lead.The Ash teenager belted in a screamer on the break but it was Finchy who was determined to keep the game a contest. Instead of rescuing the chaotic situation in our box and clearing the ball to safety he smashed a half volley into his own goal. Quality!
Having earlier missed a great chance when set free by Baby’s slide rule pass sidefooting the ball wide when giving ¾ of the goal to aim at Scholesy added our fifth and the game was truly safe when Doyley pounced. Scholesy set up Tim in front of goal but his considered effort was kept out by the excellent keeper. Matt’s surging run ended disappointingly when he unwisely shot when there were several unmarked team mates in the box. A goal kick was the inevitable outcome. Smudge brought some control and sedate calm back to the Ash playing for the oppo in place of injured Kev who had , much earlier, opened the scoring. Chris enthusiastically reffed the last 7 minutes giving Tim his runout.
‘C**t!’ Baby after 15 minutes.
‘ I WAS trying to f**king clear it! ‘. Finchy.
‘I was aiming that way- it went that way’. Matt
‘I’m reffing your f**king fixture for you!’ One sentence from Tim’s hissy fit rant when Ash players too vigorously contested an offside decision.
‘On the bog we’ve got half a chance’. Podge on playing our next game against Canning Town on the Quaggy.
Old Tamponians Match Reports. 2020-21
19.12.21. Catford Wanderers. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.
1-4. ( Graham….or did Paul get a touch?)
Team: Roy, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chris, Smudge, Tonksy, Podge, Graham, Doyley, Paul T. Unused: Mitch ( Lino.) Tim ( Ref).
The Goal: From wide on the left touchline Graham’s flighted right footed delivery found goalkeeper and defenders unsure as to who should take responsibility, their uncertainty increased by the predatory presence of Doyley and in particular Paul T. The latter claimed the decisive but slightest touch but Graham was adamant it was his goal.
The Assists: Catford- apparently with several Saturday players produced a lot of quality attacking football but their four goals all owed a good deal to Tamps errors. A poor free kick was only able to beat the excellent Roy because Graham, the weak link in the wall, jumped – allowing the ball to creep in at the near post. That was 0-3. Podge’s misdirected pass had set up their first. Strong defence including some excellent saves by Roy and kept us in the game: 0-1 at half time.
Immediately from kick off it was 0-2. Doyley’s kick was deep to Matt at right back.He did find Paul T whose square pass was picked off and moved on giving the defence little chance to regroup. Finally, perhaps unable to compete with his hangover any longer Tonksy failed to find a team mate and again Catford could break clear.
Other Moments: At half time Catford had brought on one of their few ( two?) SuperVets. The Ref showed leniency when his chest pass was accepted as a fair throw in; Doyley was not so generous. Minutes later he’d thrown the opponent to the floor incapacitating him to the extent that another 30something could return to the fray. It was also perhaps unfortunate that the two best- and indeed clear cut chances, one in each half fell to Doyley who failed to test the keeper with either. Finchy was at least apologetic that his much harder chance couldn’t find the net. We did play some good football, perhaps more so in the first 45 but the other memorable aspects of our performance included Roy aiming to run the clock down by clearing the ball into touch rather than picking the ball up and Matt wiping out an opponent with an assault that wouldn’t have been accepted in MMA. Graham’s attempted ‘megnuts’ was an embarrassing failure. Dean skilfully hid any guilt when the Ref debated awarding a late penalty. Bang to rights. Cuff him Sarge!
We’ll fulfill the return game in the New Year and if the oppo is as removed from a SuperVets side as on this occasion the fixture will be dropped.
What they said.
There was still considerable upset in the squad, the division caused by a select group who relished the exclusion of others from a recent, tawdry social event.Salt was rubbed into the wound by Steve R’s pronounced socialising with Scholesy – the main architect of the split.
‘ Smudge uncharacteristically gave the ball away a couple of times’.
‘ I can’t help myself’. Matt explains his assault.
‘I thought I just sat here and they were brought to me’. Enjoying his pre Christmas drink up Matt doesn’t want to waste time going to the bar.
‘ You wouldn’t know what handball is! Graham points out the Roy wasn’t using his hands as a first option.
19.12.21. Catford Wanderers. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.
1-4. ( Graham….or did Paul get a touch?)
Team: Roy, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Chris, Smudge, Tonksy, Podge, Graham, Doyley, Paul T. Unused: Mitch ( Lino.) Tim ( Ref).
The Goal: From wide on the left touchline Graham’s flighted right footed delivery found goalkeeper and defenders unsure as to who should take responsibility, their uncertainty increased by the predatory presence of Doyley and in particular Paul T. The latter claimed the decisive but slightest touch but Graham was adamant it was his goal.
The Assists: Catford- apparently with several Saturday players produced a lot of quality attacking football but their four goals all owed a good deal to Tamps errors. A poor free kick was only able to beat the excellent Roy because Graham, the weak link in the wall, jumped – allowing the ball to creep in at the near post. That was 0-3. Podge’s misdirected pass had set up their first. Strong defence including some excellent saves by Roy and kept us in the game: 0-1 at half time.
Immediately from kick off it was 0-2. Doyley’s kick was deep to Matt at right back.He did find Paul T whose square pass was picked off and moved on giving the defence little chance to regroup. Finally, perhaps unable to compete with his hangover any longer Tonksy failed to find a team mate and again Catford could break clear.
Other Moments: At half time Catford had brought on one of their few ( two?) SuperVets. The Ref showed leniency when his chest pass was accepted as a fair throw in; Doyley was not so generous. Minutes later he’d thrown the opponent to the floor incapacitating him to the extent that another 30something could return to the fray. It was also perhaps unfortunate that the two best- and indeed clear cut chances, one in each half fell to Doyley who failed to test the keeper with either. Finchy was at least apologetic that his much harder chance couldn’t find the net. We did play some good football, perhaps more so in the first 45 but the other memorable aspects of our performance included Roy aiming to run the clock down by clearing the ball into touch rather than picking the ball up and Matt wiping out an opponent with an assault that wouldn’t have been accepted in MMA. Graham’s attempted ‘megnuts’ was an embarrassing failure. Dean skilfully hid any guilt when the Ref debated awarding a late penalty. Bang to rights. Cuff him Sarge!
We’ll fulfill the return game in the New Year and if the oppo is as removed from a SuperVets side as on this occasion the fixture will be dropped.
What they said.
There was still considerable upset in the squad, the division caused by a select group who relished the exclusion of others from a recent, tawdry social event.Salt was rubbed into the wound by Steve R’s pronounced socialising with Scholesy – the main architect of the split.
‘ Smudge uncharacteristically gave the ball away a couple of times’.
‘ I can’t help myself’. Matt explains his assault.
‘I thought I just sat here and they were brought to me’. Enjoying his pre Christmas drink up Matt doesn’t want to waste time going to the bar.
‘ You wouldn’t know what handball is! Graham points out the Roy wasn’t using his hands as a first option.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-2
Inter Viagra. Away at Home. Tennis Court Pitch. 12.12.21.
Team: Finchy, Matt, Baby, Chris, Steve R, Jon, Smudge, Tonksy, Roy Doyley, Scholesy, Podge, Mitch, Tim
3-2. ( Scholesy (2), Podge.)
In a Sentence : 2 penalties given - 2 penalties missed.
In a Word: Phew!
The Goals: A double for Scholesy. The first a neat header from Jon’s cross. The second an excellent angled shot having found space on the right hand side of the box, the ball played in by Matt: good first touch and turn, clinical finish. Having declared we needed the next goal at half time, unusually, we got it-Podge the scorer. Moving forward unchallenged he had time to look up and curl a perfectly placed right footed shot in at the near post beating the keeper’s dive.
The Game: Inter started with greater intensity and whilst they didn’t threaten from open play they forced a series of corners that were mostly well delivered requiring determined defending, Finchy making one impressive punched clearance and Doyley heading strongly to safety. As consecutive corners were played straight out the pattern of the game changed with the Tamps now becoming the dominant force. This was first seen by Steve R’s powerful angled drive that just cleared the bar and soon we were ahead. Jon had broken clear several times before setting up Scholesy for the opener. By this time Podge was on for Doyley and there was soon a change to 4-4-2 with Mitch coming on at right back. The excellent second was due reward for outstanding defence and much improved, threatening play as we successfully passed to each other. 2-0 at half time.
It was 3-0 early in the second half and then Scholesy had the chance to make it 4 and to complete a hat trick. Played in by Tonksy his control was again excellent getting away from the defender and rounding Julian Assange playing in goal despite the threat of extradition. Scholesy was unceremoniously hauled down and the Ref – who had ignored a first half penalty claim when Scholesy was tripped-now had to point to the spot. Was it nerves brought on by recollections of his last spot kick or straightforward jug avoidance but Scholesy scuffed the penalty to the grateful keeper.
No matter, surely we’d maintain our control and see the game out comfortably even with Tim replacing Mitch at full back- the two having brought 133 years experience to the position and with Smudge stepping out bringing Tonksy back into the fray.
Inter threw more players forward but Matt and Baby tackled strongly and subdued a series of attacks. Finchy had looked if he was heading towards a second and deserved clean sheet making a fine diving save- but then Inter pulled one back. Baby closed down the strong drive from distance but it struck him and looped beyond Finchy’s reach. There was a certain amount of panic as Inter sensed a comeback. Several corners were forced but repelled and with 3 minutes to go the Ref awarded a second penalty. Roy cleared the ball which cannoned straight back from an opponent striking Roy’s arm. Finchy covered the penalty placed to his left but the Inter centre forward was quicker to the rebound from the post and forced the ball home.
A rather long ‘last few minutes’ further tested Tampon spirit but we held on for a win that perhaps should have had a more convincing score line.
What they said: ‘Scholesy, back heel now!’ Doyley with several defenders between him and his teammate.
‘I didn’t mean to pass to him but I did’. Chris on freeing Podge for our third.
‘I just had to go for it’. Matt on wiping out Simon with the most off the ball tackle of the season so far. The Ref played advantage with Inter scoring their first from this.
‘I didn’t mean to.’ Smudge on is elbow to Dazza’s nose.
‘All the young girls stroking little pussy on my lap’. President Graham lowers the tone of the post match discussions.
Inter Viagra. Away at Home. Tennis Court Pitch. 12.12.21.
Team: Finchy, Matt, Baby, Chris, Steve R, Jon, Smudge, Tonksy, Roy Doyley, Scholesy, Podge, Mitch, Tim
3-2. ( Scholesy (2), Podge.)
In a Sentence : 2 penalties given - 2 penalties missed.
In a Word: Phew!
The Goals: A double for Scholesy. The first a neat header from Jon’s cross. The second an excellent angled shot having found space on the right hand side of the box, the ball played in by Matt: good first touch and turn, clinical finish. Having declared we needed the next goal at half time, unusually, we got it-Podge the scorer. Moving forward unchallenged he had time to look up and curl a perfectly placed right footed shot in at the near post beating the keeper’s dive.
The Game: Inter started with greater intensity and whilst they didn’t threaten from open play they forced a series of corners that were mostly well delivered requiring determined defending, Finchy making one impressive punched clearance and Doyley heading strongly to safety. As consecutive corners were played straight out the pattern of the game changed with the Tamps now becoming the dominant force. This was first seen by Steve R’s powerful angled drive that just cleared the bar and soon we were ahead. Jon had broken clear several times before setting up Scholesy for the opener. By this time Podge was on for Doyley and there was soon a change to 4-4-2 with Mitch coming on at right back. The excellent second was due reward for outstanding defence and much improved, threatening play as we successfully passed to each other. 2-0 at half time.
It was 3-0 early in the second half and then Scholesy had the chance to make it 4 and to complete a hat trick. Played in by Tonksy his control was again excellent getting away from the defender and rounding Julian Assange playing in goal despite the threat of extradition. Scholesy was unceremoniously hauled down and the Ref – who had ignored a first half penalty claim when Scholesy was tripped-now had to point to the spot. Was it nerves brought on by recollections of his last spot kick or straightforward jug avoidance but Scholesy scuffed the penalty to the grateful keeper.
No matter, surely we’d maintain our control and see the game out comfortably even with Tim replacing Mitch at full back- the two having brought 133 years experience to the position and with Smudge stepping out bringing Tonksy back into the fray.
Inter threw more players forward but Matt and Baby tackled strongly and subdued a series of attacks. Finchy had looked if he was heading towards a second and deserved clean sheet making a fine diving save- but then Inter pulled one back. Baby closed down the strong drive from distance but it struck him and looped beyond Finchy’s reach. There was a certain amount of panic as Inter sensed a comeback. Several corners were forced but repelled and with 3 minutes to go the Ref awarded a second penalty. Roy cleared the ball which cannoned straight back from an opponent striking Roy’s arm. Finchy covered the penalty placed to his left but the Inter centre forward was quicker to the rebound from the post and forced the ball home.
A rather long ‘last few minutes’ further tested Tampon spirit but we held on for a win that perhaps should have had a more convincing score line.
What they said: ‘Scholesy, back heel now!’ Doyley with several defenders between him and his teammate.
‘I didn’t mean to pass to him but I did’. Chris on freeing Podge for our third.
‘I just had to go for it’. Matt on wiping out Simon with the most off the ball tackle of the season so far. The Ref played advantage with Inter scoring their first from this.
‘I didn’t mean to.’ Smudge on is elbow to Dazza’s nose.
‘All the young girls stroking little pussy on my lap’. President Graham lowers the tone of the post match discussions.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
21.11.21. Farnborough. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.
1-3 (Doyley)
Team: Mick P, Matt, Paul G, Finchy, Roy, Jon, Chris, Baby, Doyley, Scholesy, Pete, Adam. (Tim: Ref - given 9/10 in Farnborough match report)
In a Sentence: ‘…this was one that could have gone either way.’ Farnborough match report.
In a Word: Backpass!!!
The Goal: A good inswinging corner to the near post was not properly defended allowing Doyley to poke home from 4 yards. Clinical? 😀
The Game: A strong team performance with excellent commitment from all- this being recognised in the Farnborough report that emphasised our effective pressing with our ‘…defence, midfield and strikers working well together’. It should be added that Mick was alert as keeper sweeper and made several strong saves despite receiving a nasty blow to the neck when defending a corner.
Starting uncharacteristically well Doyley put us ahead early on and an entertaining contest developed with Pete our main threat, well supported by Scholesy who recovered from his blatant ( and ignored) attempt to buy a penalty by fouling the much admired, thespian Simon.
By halftime Farnborough had scored two goals on the break. One of these followed directly from an excellent near post save with the rebound from Pete’s shot falling so that Farnborough could play the ball forward quickly and beyond our retreating defence. Paul G’s slip made it easier for the forwards to combine and give Mick no chance.
Another slip provided the comedy gold of the game: under pressure from Pete the centre half looked over his shoulder and hooked the ball back to the keeper who under little pressure picked it up. He then expressed memorable disagreement with the ref’s award of a free kick under Law 12 Section 2 covering the back pass . Rushing from the goal, throwing his cap to the ground, this causing him to fall to his knees, he registered his displeasure. The centre half repeatedly declared it a ‘ Back pass’, at least in part to further aggravate his team mate. Unfortunately we couldn’t make anything of the free kick.
The game turned on two penalties. Firstly, Jon was brought down as he burst into the box. Gamesmanship by the chatty keeper, protests from Farnborough players who perhaps did not believe that George had ever committed a foul, Paul G’s presence near the ball and a penalty spot clearly off centre all put pressure on Chris who struck the ball well and beyond the keeper’s dive but clipped the outside of the post.
There was also no doubt about the decisive penalty- which could be given on sound alone as the forward played the ball past Mick who brought him down. Mick got his hand to George’s spot kick but couldn’t keep it out. At 3-1 Farnborough correctly reckoned they were safe- but as we’ve said a fine game, played in excellent spirit that could have had a different result.
Moments and Quotes.
In the bar: Vascetomy and swollen plums tales. ‘ The letter said you had to ejaculate 42 times in the first month…and send it off in the post’. Baby looks back with wonder to a special time.
Not only were we missing Smudger laid low by his booster but The Squire left us to it to watch Avery Hill! Disgraceful!
‘The predator strikes!’ Doyley’s unironic assessment of his goal prowess.
‘ You’ve not only fouled him Scholesy but there’s now hair out of place and that’s no good for the photo shoot.’ Tim after Simon is fouled by Scholesy who later declares : ‘ He’s not as handsome as I thought.’
21.11.21. Farnborough. Home. Tennis Court Pitch.
1-3 (Doyley)
Team: Mick P, Matt, Paul G, Finchy, Roy, Jon, Chris, Baby, Doyley, Scholesy, Pete, Adam. (Tim: Ref - given 9/10 in Farnborough match report)
In a Sentence: ‘…this was one that could have gone either way.’ Farnborough match report.
In a Word: Backpass!!!
The Goal: A good inswinging corner to the near post was not properly defended allowing Doyley to poke home from 4 yards. Clinical? 😀
The Game: A strong team performance with excellent commitment from all- this being recognised in the Farnborough report that emphasised our effective pressing with our ‘…defence, midfield and strikers working well together’. It should be added that Mick was alert as keeper sweeper and made several strong saves despite receiving a nasty blow to the neck when defending a corner.
Starting uncharacteristically well Doyley put us ahead early on and an entertaining contest developed with Pete our main threat, well supported by Scholesy who recovered from his blatant ( and ignored) attempt to buy a penalty by fouling the much admired, thespian Simon.
By halftime Farnborough had scored two goals on the break. One of these followed directly from an excellent near post save with the rebound from Pete’s shot falling so that Farnborough could play the ball forward quickly and beyond our retreating defence. Paul G’s slip made it easier for the forwards to combine and give Mick no chance.
Another slip provided the comedy gold of the game: under pressure from Pete the centre half looked over his shoulder and hooked the ball back to the keeper who under little pressure picked it up. He then expressed memorable disagreement with the ref’s award of a free kick under Law 12 Section 2 covering the back pass . Rushing from the goal, throwing his cap to the ground, this causing him to fall to his knees, he registered his displeasure. The centre half repeatedly declared it a ‘ Back pass’, at least in part to further aggravate his team mate. Unfortunately we couldn’t make anything of the free kick.
The game turned on two penalties. Firstly, Jon was brought down as he burst into the box. Gamesmanship by the chatty keeper, protests from Farnborough players who perhaps did not believe that George had ever committed a foul, Paul G’s presence near the ball and a penalty spot clearly off centre all put pressure on Chris who struck the ball well and beyond the keeper’s dive but clipped the outside of the post.
There was also no doubt about the decisive penalty- which could be given on sound alone as the forward played the ball past Mick who brought him down. Mick got his hand to George’s spot kick but couldn’t keep it out. At 3-1 Farnborough correctly reckoned they were safe- but as we’ve said a fine game, played in excellent spirit that could have had a different result.
Moments and Quotes.
In the bar: Vascetomy and swollen plums tales. ‘ The letter said you had to ejaculate 42 times in the first month…and send it off in the post’. Baby looks back with wonder to a special time.
Not only were we missing Smudger laid low by his booster but The Squire left us to it to watch Avery Hill! Disgraceful!
‘The predator strikes!’ Doyley’s unironic assessment of his goal prowess.
‘ You’ve not only fouled him Scholesy but there’s now hair out of place and that’s no good for the photo shoot.’ Tim after Simon is fouled by Scholesy who later declares : ‘ He’s not as handsome as I thought.’
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
Effra Kings. Home: Tennis Court Pitch. 14.11.21.
0-5.
Team: Tony, Matt, Finchy, Baby, Jon, Tonksy, Chris, Podge, Steve R, Doyley, Graham, Smudge, Russ, Adam. (Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Roy bought the drinks.
In a Word: Mmerrrrrrr.
The Game: Perhaps it was the emotional impact of Remembrance Sunday’s one minute silence or the stultifying effect of waiting for Effra Kings to get their numbers together (take your time, no hurry lads) but the Tamps were generally rather passive and ineffective in a first half that saw us turn round 0-4 down. Yes, we contributed strongly to the goals with a number of errors but Effra played good football and finished well. A breakaway as we lost possession in the midfield gave Tony no chance. Another saw Matt covering on the line but misjudging his position and so not seeking to clear the roll in from an acute angle. An excellent header and a skilfully flighted/toe and hope lob by the centre forward, getting to the ball just before Tony put Effra completely in charge and led to Tamps dissatisfaction being expressed in a range from mumbles to choice expletives. But could it have been different?
At 2-0 we should have been back in it. Finchy’s long throw was expertly flicked on by Russ to the unmarked Graham who angled his unchallenged header wide rather than in at the unguarded near post. Heads dropped further, mumbles magnified.
With Tony perhaps more incapacitated than he’d realised and Tonksy suffering with a back injury there needed to be a reshuffle.Adam came on wide right with Jon’s move inside giving us more bite and Doyley returning to the left.Everyone showed more resolve, this reflected in the single second half goal coming from a set piece- and that, Trevor completing his hat trick should have been dealt with. Effra continued to create from open play but Matt, Finchy and Baby were strong at the back. The latter and brother Podge making fine blocks and Chris making good interventions as sweeper keeper.We were also helped by Effra’s focus on the long ball and forward pace – ill timed runs rightly being called offside with Steve R now a busy linesman.
Smudge provided the inevitable OSCDT moment with a double drag back 360 degree spin taking him safely away from 3 converging opponents. The Effra keeper made two fine saves from Graham, one from a fierce drive and other diving full length to palm away the goal bound right footed cross shot as Graham broke beyond the defence.
When the final whistle went we’d been well beaten by a good footballing ( but quite a bit younger side) but we’d at least given a better account of ourselves in a more even second half.
What they said:
‘ There’ll never be another wand’. President Graham sees that current left footed maestros are no match to his former glories.
‘ He’s still got it! Admiration for Smudge’s superb and only slightly panicky close control.
‘At least he didn’t call it’. The Ref to one of their youthful centre halves as he smiles and congratulates Graham after being nutmegged.
President Graham’s comedic routine about when we used to play Greenwich Challenge is, sadly, too long and complex to include here.
A very enjoyable bar session though- thanks for the birthday drinks Roy.
Effra Kings. Home: Tennis Court Pitch. 14.11.21.
0-5.
Team: Tony, Matt, Finchy, Baby, Jon, Tonksy, Chris, Podge, Steve R, Doyley, Graham, Smudge, Russ, Adam. (Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Roy bought the drinks.
In a Word: Mmerrrrrrr.
The Game: Perhaps it was the emotional impact of Remembrance Sunday’s one minute silence or the stultifying effect of waiting for Effra Kings to get their numbers together (take your time, no hurry lads) but the Tamps were generally rather passive and ineffective in a first half that saw us turn round 0-4 down. Yes, we contributed strongly to the goals with a number of errors but Effra played good football and finished well. A breakaway as we lost possession in the midfield gave Tony no chance. Another saw Matt covering on the line but misjudging his position and so not seeking to clear the roll in from an acute angle. An excellent header and a skilfully flighted/toe and hope lob by the centre forward, getting to the ball just before Tony put Effra completely in charge and led to Tamps dissatisfaction being expressed in a range from mumbles to choice expletives. But could it have been different?
At 2-0 we should have been back in it. Finchy’s long throw was expertly flicked on by Russ to the unmarked Graham who angled his unchallenged header wide rather than in at the unguarded near post. Heads dropped further, mumbles magnified.
With Tony perhaps more incapacitated than he’d realised and Tonksy suffering with a back injury there needed to be a reshuffle.Adam came on wide right with Jon’s move inside giving us more bite and Doyley returning to the left.Everyone showed more resolve, this reflected in the single second half goal coming from a set piece- and that, Trevor completing his hat trick should have been dealt with. Effra continued to create from open play but Matt, Finchy and Baby were strong at the back. The latter and brother Podge making fine blocks and Chris making good interventions as sweeper keeper.We were also helped by Effra’s focus on the long ball and forward pace – ill timed runs rightly being called offside with Steve R now a busy linesman.
Smudge provided the inevitable OSCDT moment with a double drag back 360 degree spin taking him safely away from 3 converging opponents. The Effra keeper made two fine saves from Graham, one from a fierce drive and other diving full length to palm away the goal bound right footed cross shot as Graham broke beyond the defence.
When the final whistle went we’d been well beaten by a good footballing ( but quite a bit younger side) but we’d at least given a better account of ourselves in a more even second half.
What they said:
‘ There’ll never be another wand’. President Graham sees that current left footed maestros are no match to his former glories.
‘ He’s still got it! Admiration for Smudge’s superb and only slightly panicky close control.
‘At least he didn’t call it’. The Ref to one of their youthful centre halves as he smiles and congratulates Graham after being nutmegged.
President Graham’s comedic routine about when we used to play Greenwich Challenge is, sadly, too long and complex to include here.
A very enjoyable bar session though- thanks for the birthday drinks Roy.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
SANCO. Home: Tennis Court Pitch - today more like a park pitch - no diesel allegedly! 24.10.21.
Team: Finchy, Adam, Matt, Paul G, Steve R, Jon, Tonksy, Chris, Graham, Doyley, Lee, Smudge, Mark , Mitch. ( Tim-Ref.)
1-0. ( Paul G)
In a Sentence: We used to play their fathers.
In a Word: Determined.
The Goal: Excellent work from Lee on the left ended with a dangerous cross that was scrambled behind. Graham’s precise corner found its target at the far post, Paul G rising strongly to power the header into the roof of the net.
The Game: With Mitch extending his oldest Tampon record to 68 and 48 days, Mark returning to football after several years out and Finchy donning the gloves this was a changed team from the previous week’s disappointment. Facing us was the usual large and youthful SANCO squad with Deano as one of their few SuperVets; this was gone to be a tough one.
So it proved but the team showed resolve and resilience from the start. We didn’t create many clear cut chances but we generally kept the ball well and SANCO had to work hard to develop attacks. After Adam had bravely chest blocked one shot Chris went one better stopping a drive with his face. Paul G and Matt were excellent at the centre of the defence and Finchy who was in goal to rest his back made a series of fine saves. The first was a strong block at the near post when faced with a one on one,created by a long clearance after our corner. There were several good punches and an important push onto the bar. Best was a second half double save: pushing away the first shot and quickly getting up to reach and block the follow up.Even an error of judgement allowing the ball to tantalisingly roll across the goal line did not distract from this Man of the Match performance. Strong challenges were needed and Matt was to the fore here, on one occasion needing several swipes before he hacked his opponent down. Tonksy, Chris, Jon and Graham all did well in the middle of the park whilst both Doyley and Lee made things difficult for the SANCO defence.
The second half saw a further lowering of the oppo age profile whilst we could counter by bringing on Mitch and Smudge- combined age 132 years and 8 months young.
After Paul’s excellent goal we provided few threats in attack. Tonksy bamboozled the defence with a sharp turn and neat dribble but didn’t get a shot away- an aspect that did not meet with Paul’s approval. Chris collapsed elegantly in the box a couple of times but forced the wrong footed and quite sizeable keeper into a dramatic, acrobatic save with a looping left foot cross.
Late on both Mitch, injured, and Lee, spent, were replaced by Steve R and Mark, the latter to add presence to the midfield for a hard working last 10 where SANCO pressed but the Tamps stood firm.
What they said: ‘ I need to get out of the house’. Finchy explains why he’s in goal despite his bad back.
‘Nobody said that about you Steve’. Graham after Adam’s full back work had been praised.
‘ The touch back can only be as good as the throw’. Smudge seems to defend Tonksy’s pass into touch from Chris’ throw in.
Yesterday’s commitment and attitude was tremendous and that’s the level we need to be at each week-especially against the younger teams we play.👊. Paul G WhatsApp.
SANCO. Home: Tennis Court Pitch - today more like a park pitch - no diesel allegedly! 24.10.21.
Team: Finchy, Adam, Matt, Paul G, Steve R, Jon, Tonksy, Chris, Graham, Doyley, Lee, Smudge, Mark , Mitch. ( Tim-Ref.)
1-0. ( Paul G)
In a Sentence: We used to play their fathers.
In a Word: Determined.
The Goal: Excellent work from Lee on the left ended with a dangerous cross that was scrambled behind. Graham’s precise corner found its target at the far post, Paul G rising strongly to power the header into the roof of the net.
The Game: With Mitch extending his oldest Tampon record to 68 and 48 days, Mark returning to football after several years out and Finchy donning the gloves this was a changed team from the previous week’s disappointment. Facing us was the usual large and youthful SANCO squad with Deano as one of their few SuperVets; this was gone to be a tough one.
So it proved but the team showed resolve and resilience from the start. We didn’t create many clear cut chances but we generally kept the ball well and SANCO had to work hard to develop attacks. After Adam had bravely chest blocked one shot Chris went one better stopping a drive with his face. Paul G and Matt were excellent at the centre of the defence and Finchy who was in goal to rest his back made a series of fine saves. The first was a strong block at the near post when faced with a one on one,created by a long clearance after our corner. There were several good punches and an important push onto the bar. Best was a second half double save: pushing away the first shot and quickly getting up to reach and block the follow up.Even an error of judgement allowing the ball to tantalisingly roll across the goal line did not distract from this Man of the Match performance. Strong challenges were needed and Matt was to the fore here, on one occasion needing several swipes before he hacked his opponent down. Tonksy, Chris, Jon and Graham all did well in the middle of the park whilst both Doyley and Lee made things difficult for the SANCO defence.
The second half saw a further lowering of the oppo age profile whilst we could counter by bringing on Mitch and Smudge- combined age 132 years and 8 months young.
After Paul’s excellent goal we provided few threats in attack. Tonksy bamboozled the defence with a sharp turn and neat dribble but didn’t get a shot away- an aspect that did not meet with Paul’s approval. Chris collapsed elegantly in the box a couple of times but forced the wrong footed and quite sizeable keeper into a dramatic, acrobatic save with a looping left foot cross.
Late on both Mitch, injured, and Lee, spent, were replaced by Steve R and Mark, the latter to add presence to the midfield for a hard working last 10 where SANCO pressed but the Tamps stood firm.
What they said: ‘ I need to get out of the house’. Finchy explains why he’s in goal despite his bad back.
‘Nobody said that about you Steve’. Graham after Adam’s full back work had been praised.
‘ The touch back can only be as good as the throw’. Smudge seems to defend Tonksy’s pass into touch from Chris’ throw in.
Yesterday’s commitment and attitude was tremendous and that’s the level we need to be at each week-especially against the younger teams we play.👊. Paul G WhatsApp.
Oppo: Santos 17/10/21 Score 4-1
Scorer: Paul G (p)
Team: Tony Deano Paul G Finchy - Matt John Adam Tonksy Podge sr - GG Chris
Subs: Scholesy Lee Charlie
Crowd: Smudger Roy Mick s Del
In a word: Abysmal
In a sentence: it was fu#$%ng Abysmal!
On paper it looked like a strong squad, in reality it was, but, we hadn't allowed for everyone to have off days together.
We managed to get to 20 min mark without conceding, not bad for us recently. To be honest we had not been very good, passing was shoddy, touch was bad and generally we were out of sorts. Their first goal was a mix up between Paul G and Tony, Santos 1-0 up and they had done nothing.
H/T and we all thought that going downhill and with just a bit better passing we would be back in the game, it never happened.
2nd half: yet more of the same, passing was probably worse in fact, their 2nd was a mix up with Tonksy and Paul G, both could have cleared the ball off the line, neither did, Tonksy took the blame as he had called then left it. By now heads had dropped and the substitutions hadn't worked, (Smudger takes the blame as he made them) their 3rd from a corner was another comedy of errors, numerous chances to clear none taken.
Our penalty (1st): Lee is bundled to the floor by their keeper, Chris declines the offer to take it, Tonksy strides to the spot!! Paul G is on his way up to take it, but then Scholesy takes over and gives the keeper an easy save, PG is not amused, Smudger is asking how? Whole team are bemused, this incident sums up the performance. We get a second, Lee bundled over by over zealous centre back, this time PG takes over and sends keeper the wrong way 3-1, a chance? not really as we have been poor. We concede a very well taken 4th, game over. A lot of unhappy Tamps, lots of very poor performances, only one thing for it........the bar!
The after match booze and banter is excellent, we have 14 in the bar, and,12 are still there when the last Santos player leaves, a good hour into the session, a plucky 4 continue late into the afternoon in Eltham.
We need to be a lot better vs Sanco next Sunday.
Best of luck to new boy Deano as he gets wed on the Sunday thus ruling himself out of selection, its a poor excuse and he will be suitably fined.
Quotes: He leapt like a salmon, a tin of salmon - After GG and Scholesy in separate incidents both fail to get off the ground for heading chances.
Roy: You need to put John upfront
Smudger: Really, have you seen John's shooting (even John can't believe what Roy has said).
Scorer: Paul G (p)
Team: Tony Deano Paul G Finchy - Matt John Adam Tonksy Podge sr - GG Chris
Subs: Scholesy Lee Charlie
Crowd: Smudger Roy Mick s Del
In a word: Abysmal
In a sentence: it was fu#$%ng Abysmal!
On paper it looked like a strong squad, in reality it was, but, we hadn't allowed for everyone to have off days together.
We managed to get to 20 min mark without conceding, not bad for us recently. To be honest we had not been very good, passing was shoddy, touch was bad and generally we were out of sorts. Their first goal was a mix up between Paul G and Tony, Santos 1-0 up and they had done nothing.
H/T and we all thought that going downhill and with just a bit better passing we would be back in the game, it never happened.
2nd half: yet more of the same, passing was probably worse in fact, their 2nd was a mix up with Tonksy and Paul G, both could have cleared the ball off the line, neither did, Tonksy took the blame as he had called then left it. By now heads had dropped and the substitutions hadn't worked, (Smudger takes the blame as he made them) their 3rd from a corner was another comedy of errors, numerous chances to clear none taken.
Our penalty (1st): Lee is bundled to the floor by their keeper, Chris declines the offer to take it, Tonksy strides to the spot!! Paul G is on his way up to take it, but then Scholesy takes over and gives the keeper an easy save, PG is not amused, Smudger is asking how? Whole team are bemused, this incident sums up the performance. We get a second, Lee bundled over by over zealous centre back, this time PG takes over and sends keeper the wrong way 3-1, a chance? not really as we have been poor. We concede a very well taken 4th, game over. A lot of unhappy Tamps, lots of very poor performances, only one thing for it........the bar!
The after match booze and banter is excellent, we have 14 in the bar, and,12 are still there when the last Santos player leaves, a good hour into the session, a plucky 4 continue late into the afternoon in Eltham.
We need to be a lot better vs Sanco next Sunday.
Best of luck to new boy Deano as he gets wed on the Sunday thus ruling himself out of selection, its a poor excuse and he will be suitably fined.
Quotes: He leapt like a salmon, a tin of salmon - After GG and Scholesy in separate incidents both fail to get off the ground for heading chances.
Roy: You need to put John upfront
Smudger: Really, have you seen John's shooting (even John can't believe what Roy has said).
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
Erith. Home: Tennis Court Pitch . 10.10.21.
2-3. ( Doyley, Paul G.)
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Finchy, Chris, Jon, Smudger, The Squire, Steve R, Roy, Doyley, Tim. ( Richard guest sub.). Mark- Lino.
In a Sentence: Tough defeat today chaps, injuries didn’t help but with a midfield average age of 59- a great effort. Smudger post match WhatsApp.
In a Word: Pipped!
The Goals: The first equaliser: good forward interplay with Chris feeding Doyley in on the left side for a controlled, accurate finish.
The second equaliser: Paul G free kick from 25 yards- driven in to the keeper’s right , the bounce beating his dive and sending the ball in at the far post.
The Game: With Pete unable to join us due to a Saturday injury we had the bare 11, ( Scholesy failing to appear but Steve R recovering from his dog chew injury) plus Tim as ref. Losing the Squire in the first 10 minutes was debilitating and soon after Roy was forced off after a gallop after the ball. By then we were one down The Squire’s last contribution as player being to apologise profusely as his groin went and he couldn’t reach Jon’s square ball. Erith could though and young Mick was sent away to open the scoring with an unstoppable lash.
The Squire took the whistle Tim moved to right midfield and to complete this axis of immobility Erith’s leader Richard nobly volunteered himself to be our new 11th man.
Despite the changes the game settled into an entertaining and even contest. Tony astonished his teammates by calling for and catching the well aimed free kick. The back three were strong and the central midfield worked tirelessly Smudge giving another fine 90 minutes, Chris going box to box and Jon, as ever, excellent. Richard suddenly beset by conflicting responsibilities toe poked wide when well placed. Doyley’s equaliser was well taken and thoroughly deserved and he was denied a second by a questionable flag for offside.
At half time and after significant Deep Heat treatment in the affected groin area Roy bravely rejoined the fray playing through the pain; the ultimate team man?Erith’s second came from a break down our left and an excellent assist that gave Mick his second, Tony again having no chance. Our determined play again brought the equaliser :a very well struck free kick.
In the last quarter we looked the more likely winners- Paul G’s thumping header clipped the bar and Tim’s header from Finchy’s flick on needed clearing off the line. Erith’s desperation was shown in a series of professional fouls by Dean. However, Erith snatched the win late on, the ball falling to Gordy just outside the box and his beautifully executed/shinned chip had the perfect arc and dip to beat Tony’s flying dive. A fine game – but one we didn’t deserve to lose.
What they said.
‘ He may have made a mistake but he’s not a cheat’. Smudge supports the Ref.
‘Ref! They’re moving the goalposts!’ Steve R. Graham had positioned them on the 6 yard line.
‘Iron Man ,my arse.’ Teammates are not impressed by Good Graham’s absence from the match.
‘It’s not rugby’. The Squire justifies not going back for the free kick when there was no advantage.
‘ Richard gave his all- it wasn’t a lot’. An ungenerous if accurate post match assessment.
Erith. Home: Tennis Court Pitch . 10.10.21.
2-3. ( Doyley, Paul G.)
Team: Tony, Matt, Paul G, Finchy, Chris, Jon, Smudger, The Squire, Steve R, Roy, Doyley, Tim. ( Richard guest sub.). Mark- Lino.
In a Sentence: Tough defeat today chaps, injuries didn’t help but with a midfield average age of 59- a great effort. Smudger post match WhatsApp.
In a Word: Pipped!
The Goals: The first equaliser: good forward interplay with Chris feeding Doyley in on the left side for a controlled, accurate finish.
The second equaliser: Paul G free kick from 25 yards- driven in to the keeper’s right , the bounce beating his dive and sending the ball in at the far post.
The Game: With Pete unable to join us due to a Saturday injury we had the bare 11, ( Scholesy failing to appear but Steve R recovering from his dog chew injury) plus Tim as ref. Losing the Squire in the first 10 minutes was debilitating and soon after Roy was forced off after a gallop after the ball. By then we were one down The Squire’s last contribution as player being to apologise profusely as his groin went and he couldn’t reach Jon’s square ball. Erith could though and young Mick was sent away to open the scoring with an unstoppable lash.
The Squire took the whistle Tim moved to right midfield and to complete this axis of immobility Erith’s leader Richard nobly volunteered himself to be our new 11th man.
Despite the changes the game settled into an entertaining and even contest. Tony astonished his teammates by calling for and catching the well aimed free kick. The back three were strong and the central midfield worked tirelessly Smudge giving another fine 90 minutes, Chris going box to box and Jon, as ever, excellent. Richard suddenly beset by conflicting responsibilities toe poked wide when well placed. Doyley’s equaliser was well taken and thoroughly deserved and he was denied a second by a questionable flag for offside.
At half time and after significant Deep Heat treatment in the affected groin area Roy bravely rejoined the fray playing through the pain; the ultimate team man?Erith’s second came from a break down our left and an excellent assist that gave Mick his second, Tony again having no chance. Our determined play again brought the equaliser :a very well struck free kick.
In the last quarter we looked the more likely winners- Paul G’s thumping header clipped the bar and Tim’s header from Finchy’s flick on needed clearing off the line. Erith’s desperation was shown in a series of professional fouls by Dean. However, Erith snatched the win late on, the ball falling to Gordy just outside the box and his beautifully executed/shinned chip had the perfect arc and dip to beat Tony’s flying dive. A fine game – but one we didn’t deserve to lose.
What they said.
‘ He may have made a mistake but he’s not a cheat’. Smudge supports the Ref.
‘Ref! They’re moving the goalposts!’ Steve R. Graham had positioned them on the 6 yard line.
‘Iron Man ,my arse.’ Teammates are not impressed by Good Graham’s absence from the match.
‘It’s not rugby’. The Squire justifies not going back for the free kick when there was no advantage.
‘ Richard gave his all- it wasn’t a lot’. An ungenerous if accurate post match assessment.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-2.
Cudham. Home- Tennis Court Pitch. 26.09.21.
4-1. ( Pete, Graham (2), Paul G. )
Team: Tony, Finchy, Paul G, Baby, Adam, The Squire, Smudge, Tonksy, Graham, Roy, Pete, Chris, Doyley, Tim. ( Second half refs: Tim and Smudge.)
In a Sentence: A slow start was followed by an increasingly dominant performance, level at the break, 3 unanswered second half goals were due reward for a strong team effort.
In a Word: Satisfying.
The Goals. Excellence in all of them. The equaliser involved interplay between Tonksy and Doyley with the former feeding Pete who, with tight control and quick movement, made light of several defenders before setting himself to drive home clinically giving the keeper no chance. Goals 2 and 3 were similar. Fine passes- at least one from Baby – set Pete free on the right having timed his runs perfectly. His drilled passes both found Graham who had made good ground to be in the right place to firstly shin the ball just inside the post and secondly to push the ball home after his shot came back off the keeper. Goal 4- set piece after Graham had been fouled. Baby’s free kick, accurately sent to the back post, was headed firmly home by Paul who adjusted well to make and control the header.
The Game: Things did not start well : Cudham dominated the first quarter, used the ball well and won back possession with relative ease.They were particularly strong down the left with evergreen George and BMX Dave combining well and even wearing a Welsh top Adam couldn’t always stop them on his own. It wasn’t surprising that they scored the first goal although how it came about was unexpected. Baby unusually ( although he would make a similar error later that wasn’t costly) misjudged a challenge enabling the forward to surge in on goal and rifle home from close range. Tony had no chance there but dealt with all other efforts- the best save coming out to block the attacker on the left hand side- to stop Cudham increasing their lead By the time Chris and Doyley entered the fray subbing for Smudge and Graham the Tamps were more effective with Tonksy’s clip
from the edge of the area going close and Pete’s well taken equaliser was well deserved.
At half time there was confidence which wasn’t even diminished by Tim taking over the whistle. Our back 3 were again looking strong and with Graham moving up front and Roy dropping into midfield to deal with BMX Dave we perhaps had a better balance and threatened more. Cudham played well but were tiring with only one sub to call on. There were a couple of dangerous corners- Tony getting a vital hand to divert one excellent ball- but our hardworking midfielders with, as ever the Squire to the fore had more control.
The three second half goals were reward for excellent effort from all- Doyley kicking his man quite regularly but apologising each time- though overall Cudham could feel we weren’t 3 goals better. That said Pete would have completed his hat trick if he hadn’t been hacked down – the first of two cynical / professional fouls.There was justified post match satisfaction with a job well done which was reflected in a good session in the bar.
What they said:
‘The touch of a rapist’. Paul G on Chris’ first touch as he made a great run through the middle.
‘That’s where it is!’ The Squire points at the obvious red mark on the Cudham centre forwards side after a strong Paul G challenge. He’s almost medically trained you know!!
‘It’s a rugby incident.’ Smudge explains that the collision between Baby and his opponent was not a foul. Fortunately the Squire wasn’t called on to assess Baby’s significant abrasion.
‘Come down! Come down!’ Baby comes over all Ryder Cup as his free kick sails over the goal.
Cudham. Home- Tennis Court Pitch. 26.09.21.
4-1. ( Pete, Graham (2), Paul G. )
Team: Tony, Finchy, Paul G, Baby, Adam, The Squire, Smudge, Tonksy, Graham, Roy, Pete, Chris, Doyley, Tim. ( Second half refs: Tim and Smudge.)
In a Sentence: A slow start was followed by an increasingly dominant performance, level at the break, 3 unanswered second half goals were due reward for a strong team effort.
In a Word: Satisfying.
The Goals. Excellence in all of them. The equaliser involved interplay between Tonksy and Doyley with the former feeding Pete who, with tight control and quick movement, made light of several defenders before setting himself to drive home clinically giving the keeper no chance. Goals 2 and 3 were similar. Fine passes- at least one from Baby – set Pete free on the right having timed his runs perfectly. His drilled passes both found Graham who had made good ground to be in the right place to firstly shin the ball just inside the post and secondly to push the ball home after his shot came back off the keeper. Goal 4- set piece after Graham had been fouled. Baby’s free kick, accurately sent to the back post, was headed firmly home by Paul who adjusted well to make and control the header.
The Game: Things did not start well : Cudham dominated the first quarter, used the ball well and won back possession with relative ease.They were particularly strong down the left with evergreen George and BMX Dave combining well and even wearing a Welsh top Adam couldn’t always stop them on his own. It wasn’t surprising that they scored the first goal although how it came about was unexpected. Baby unusually ( although he would make a similar error later that wasn’t costly) misjudged a challenge enabling the forward to surge in on goal and rifle home from close range. Tony had no chance there but dealt with all other efforts- the best save coming out to block the attacker on the left hand side- to stop Cudham increasing their lead By the time Chris and Doyley entered the fray subbing for Smudge and Graham the Tamps were more effective with Tonksy’s clip
from the edge of the area going close and Pete’s well taken equaliser was well deserved.
At half time there was confidence which wasn’t even diminished by Tim taking over the whistle. Our back 3 were again looking strong and with Graham moving up front and Roy dropping into midfield to deal with BMX Dave we perhaps had a better balance and threatened more. Cudham played well but were tiring with only one sub to call on. There were a couple of dangerous corners- Tony getting a vital hand to divert one excellent ball- but our hardworking midfielders with, as ever the Squire to the fore had more control.
The three second half goals were reward for excellent effort from all- Doyley kicking his man quite regularly but apologising each time- though overall Cudham could feel we weren’t 3 goals better. That said Pete would have completed his hat trick if he hadn’t been hacked down – the first of two cynical / professional fouls.There was justified post match satisfaction with a job well done which was reflected in a good session in the bar.
What they said:
‘The touch of a rapist’. Paul G on Chris’ first touch as he made a great run through the middle.
‘That’s where it is!’ The Squire points at the obvious red mark on the Cudham centre forwards side after a strong Paul G challenge. He’s almost medically trained you know!!
‘It’s a rugby incident.’ Smudge explains that the collision between Baby and his opponent was not a foul. Fortunately the Squire wasn’t called on to assess Baby’s significant abrasion.
‘Come down! Come down!’ Baby comes over all Ryder Cup as his free kick sails over the goal.
DATE: 12/09/21 Oppo: Lads of the village Score: 0-4
Team: Roy – Matt Finchy Deano - Taj Smudger John Tonksy Adam GG SD
REF: Mitch
In a sentence: Youth overwhelms experience.
In a word: Hardwork!
They should have been referred to as ‘Young’ Lads of the village! We must have been giving away around 15 years a players (minimum). LOTV were a youthful, big and energetic side, although we tried to play from the back as often as possible it was a hard task with the LOTV forwards and midfield players quick to close us down. Despite the difference in age we were in the game and gave a decent account of ourselves. We played some nice football without creating many chances, the LOTV side shot on site and kept Roy fairly busy, although, he didn’t have to make too many big saves. Eventually a long diagonal ball beat Tonksy, who, found himself in the left back position?, decent control and a drilled shot beat Roymond 0-1, at the drinks break we talked about staying in the game for as long as possible and trying to sneak a goal, we got to half time at 0-1 and all agreed we had done pretty well up to that point. The back three had fought well against some quick and robust forwards, the ageing midfield had also done a fine job in competing with the oppo, the forwards were feeding off scraps but working hard.
They made changes at half time, a luxury we didn’t have, Mitch was our 12th player and he did a great job as the ref and saw that at 67 his chances or being able to compete with the oppo was remote. With about 15 mins of the second half gone and with us getting tired the 2nd goal came, and Exocet (one for the teenagers!) of a long throw was flicked in by their man mountain of a centre forward, approx 6ft 3 and about 17 stone, they then scored a cracker of a third, a corner was cleared and their centre half hit a volley from 40yds that found the corner of the net, nowt the keeper could do about that one, their fourth was well finished but the player was helped by 2 bits of luck as the ball bounced into his path twice from attempted tackles, 0-4, we were knackered, Taj was a passenger for the last 10 with a knee injury, but we still kept playing and cut through their back line on 3 occasions without any success. At the final whistle they were well chuffed, they remembered the 4-1 defeat from last season, but, didn’t really take into account that they were younger this season and our team was nowhere near as strong. Roymond did a sterling job in goal, Matt, Finchy and Deano all pla yed well but youth told in the end, a similar story for our m/f of Taj, John, Smudge, Tonksy and debutant Adam (ave age 57!) against a m/f that was 20yrs a man younger, GG and SD work hard but with no luck.
Quotes: “You had one job” Smudger to Roymond when he realises he's left the kit bag at home
“I don't want you getting all stiff" Annabelle to Smudger when he asks if he can sit next to her after the game, raised eyebrows all-round😄
‘’It was an accident, you were doing some Michael Flatley footwork an I caught you’’ GG explaining to their spikey m/f player after he trod on his foot.
Roll on next week and Erith, a team a bit closer in age. And lets hope we get a few younger legs back.
Team: Roy – Matt Finchy Deano - Taj Smudger John Tonksy Adam GG SD
REF: Mitch
In a sentence: Youth overwhelms experience.
In a word: Hardwork!
They should have been referred to as ‘Young’ Lads of the village! We must have been giving away around 15 years a players (minimum). LOTV were a youthful, big and energetic side, although we tried to play from the back as often as possible it was a hard task with the LOTV forwards and midfield players quick to close us down. Despite the difference in age we were in the game and gave a decent account of ourselves. We played some nice football without creating many chances, the LOTV side shot on site and kept Roy fairly busy, although, he didn’t have to make too many big saves. Eventually a long diagonal ball beat Tonksy, who, found himself in the left back position?, decent control and a drilled shot beat Roymond 0-1, at the drinks break we talked about staying in the game for as long as possible and trying to sneak a goal, we got to half time at 0-1 and all agreed we had done pretty well up to that point. The back three had fought well against some quick and robust forwards, the ageing midfield had also done a fine job in competing with the oppo, the forwards were feeding off scraps but working hard.
They made changes at half time, a luxury we didn’t have, Mitch was our 12th player and he did a great job as the ref and saw that at 67 his chances or being able to compete with the oppo was remote. With about 15 mins of the second half gone and with us getting tired the 2nd goal came, and Exocet (one for the teenagers!) of a long throw was flicked in by their man mountain of a centre forward, approx 6ft 3 and about 17 stone, they then scored a cracker of a third, a corner was cleared and their centre half hit a volley from 40yds that found the corner of the net, nowt the keeper could do about that one, their fourth was well finished but the player was helped by 2 bits of luck as the ball bounced into his path twice from attempted tackles, 0-4, we were knackered, Taj was a passenger for the last 10 with a knee injury, but we still kept playing and cut through their back line on 3 occasions without any success. At the final whistle they were well chuffed, they remembered the 4-1 defeat from last season, but, didn’t really take into account that they were younger this season and our team was nowhere near as strong. Roymond did a sterling job in goal, Matt, Finchy and Deano all pla yed well but youth told in the end, a similar story for our m/f of Taj, John, Smudge, Tonksy and debutant Adam (ave age 57!) against a m/f that was 20yrs a man younger, GG and SD work hard but with no luck.
Quotes: “You had one job” Smudger to Roymond when he realises he's left the kit bag at home
“I don't want you getting all stiff" Annabelle to Smudger when he asks if he can sit next to her after the game, raised eyebrows all-round😄
‘’It was an accident, you were doing some Michael Flatley footwork an I caught you’’ GG explaining to their spikey m/f player after he trod on his foot.
Roll on next week and Erith, a team a bit closer in age. And lets hope we get a few younger legs back.
Old Tamponians Match Reports 2021-22.
05.09.21. Crofton Home: Changing Room pitch.
2-0. ( Baby, Doyley.)
Team: Roy, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Tim, Chris, Smudge, Jon, Steve R, Charlie, Doyley, Jack. ( Refs: Jack and Tim.)
In a Sentence: Two goals, two goalies, two refs- what’s not to like?
In a Word: Competitive.
The Goals: One in each half: Baby for the first- the perfect corner- straight in, not called but no defender involvement required. Doyley in the second finishing off a good move. Steve R played a finely weighted and directed ball down the line for Jon to gather and pass inside to Doyley. The touch on the defender’s studs causing the ball to fall perfectly and Kev, in goal, diving out of the way, should not take away from Doyley’s emphatic finish.
The Game: With both sides missing key players there was some cautious play. The Tamps defence was dominant throughout but we were not as effective going forward particularly around the oppo box. For a good while Doyley seemed to be Crofton’s most effective creator. Despite the regular cries of ‘Hold it up!’ often Doyley’s first touch was so firm and misdirected it initiated Crofton attacks.
Roy was comfortable in goal and, perhaps bored by a lack of shots of note embarked on one mazy dribble around the box that led to the first of several desperate shouts for a penalty as Tom crashed to earth. Even the reasonable ref- the younger Davies- didn’t need to think about that. There were few real threats to the Crofton goal too but Baby’s fine in swinging corner broke the deadlock.
Halftime led to Roy’s release from goal, Jack taking his place and Tim taking the whistle. This was perhaps always going to be something that some Crofton players and supporters could seize on as they saw apparent injustices in almost every decision.In some instances the rationality of Trump supporters explaining The Steal was apparent To be fair to call the drinks break with the ball still in play and Jim on the attack was a real and inexplicable blunder. However, shouts for handball and grievous bodily harm from Chris’ high boot would even have been ignored at Old Trafford. Roy’s heartfelt claim for a free kick was also ignored much to his annoyance.
Jack in goal had to deal with a testing drive although Stoney’s early in the half effort ignoring the call of ‘Don’t try to lob him!’ was less troubling. Roy, Doyley and Finchy all missed headers that could have been buried but Doyley’s well taken goal gave the Tamps a welcome cushion. Minutes later Kev made a strong save diving to his left to beat Charlie’s shot away. Mark had to raise his flag for offside quite frequently and had done so ahead of Johnny eventually getting the ball in the net. When Tim’s attention was drawn back from threatened violence he consulted with the Lino and the offside was belatedly given. A decision accepted with a mixture of good grace and apoplexy.
Fun time had by all AND Finchy was reminded about his imminent wedding anniversary.
05.09.21. Crofton Home: Changing Room pitch.
2-0. ( Baby, Doyley.)
Team: Roy, Matt, Baby, Finchy, Tim, Chris, Smudge, Jon, Steve R, Charlie, Doyley, Jack. ( Refs: Jack and Tim.)
In a Sentence: Two goals, two goalies, two refs- what’s not to like?
In a Word: Competitive.
The Goals: One in each half: Baby for the first- the perfect corner- straight in, not called but no defender involvement required. Doyley in the second finishing off a good move. Steve R played a finely weighted and directed ball down the line for Jon to gather and pass inside to Doyley. The touch on the defender’s studs causing the ball to fall perfectly and Kev, in goal, diving out of the way, should not take away from Doyley’s emphatic finish.
The Game: With both sides missing key players there was some cautious play. The Tamps defence was dominant throughout but we were not as effective going forward particularly around the oppo box. For a good while Doyley seemed to be Crofton’s most effective creator. Despite the regular cries of ‘Hold it up!’ often Doyley’s first touch was so firm and misdirected it initiated Crofton attacks.
Roy was comfortable in goal and, perhaps bored by a lack of shots of note embarked on one mazy dribble around the box that led to the first of several desperate shouts for a penalty as Tom crashed to earth. Even the reasonable ref- the younger Davies- didn’t need to think about that. There were few real threats to the Crofton goal too but Baby’s fine in swinging corner broke the deadlock.
Halftime led to Roy’s release from goal, Jack taking his place and Tim taking the whistle. This was perhaps always going to be something that some Crofton players and supporters could seize on as they saw apparent injustices in almost every decision.In some instances the rationality of Trump supporters explaining The Steal was apparent To be fair to call the drinks break with the ball still in play and Jim on the attack was a real and inexplicable blunder. However, shouts for handball and grievous bodily harm from Chris’ high boot would even have been ignored at Old Trafford. Roy’s heartfelt claim for a free kick was also ignored much to his annoyance.
Jack in goal had to deal with a testing drive although Stoney’s early in the half effort ignoring the call of ‘Don’t try to lob him!’ was less troubling. Roy, Doyley and Finchy all missed headers that could have been buried but Doyley’s well taken goal gave the Tamps a welcome cushion. Minutes later Kev made a strong save diving to his left to beat Charlie’s shot away. Mark had to raise his flag for offside quite frequently and had done so ahead of Johnny eventually getting the ball in the net. When Tim’s attention was drawn back from threatened violence he consulted with the Lino and the offside was belatedly given. A decision accepted with a mixture of good grace and apoplexy.
Fun time had by all AND Finchy was reminded about his imminent wedding anniversary.
Old Tamponians Match Reports. 2021-2.
Avery Hill. The Changing Room pitch. 29.08.21.
1-1. Graham – with a little assistance from Avery Phil.
Team: Mark, Dean, Baby, Finchy, Scott, Chris, Smudge, Tonksy, Graham, Alex, Roy, Charlie, Johnny ( from Avery Hill- second half ).
In a Sentence: A game of two halves.
In a Word: Resilient.
The Goal: Graham had put in a decent corner or two and with 15 to go found his range from the changing room corner flag driving a curler that was heading in although there may have been the slightest of touches by defender Phil although obviously nothing to alter the ball’s unerring path.
The Game: Our back 3 were generally excellent both defensively and bringing and passing the ball out. Dean was far more assured than might have been expected given the previous week’s uncharitable assessments from Tom and Baby. He was caught in possession in the move that led to Avery Hill’s goal but others could have made more telling interventions after this. Rod’s cross took a deflection that allowed it to drift over Mark and give the unmarked Grant a tap in. Avery Hill enjoyed more possession but did not create any other really good chances.
At half time with guest Scott- having put in a valiant shift but struggling for fitness Avery Hill loaned us Johnny which was to prove beneficial. The substitution was made but after a few minutes it became clear we had 12 on the pitch, Scott subsequently leaving to run the line. Charlie- who had come on early after Alex again succumbed to injury- was now up front with Roy with Graham giving us more pace on the left to counter Avery Hill’s youth and speed.
A possible turning point was Steve H’s departure from the game. Without him Avery played much less measured football and centred their game on long balls and forward pace. They threatened little. Dangerous Dave held back until the second half added some shithousery to the mix fouling Graham and head butting Chris. Tonksy – as seems his way these days – grumbled his way through the game but combining with the more equable and consistent Smudge and Chris gave us control in the midfield. The Tamps were in control playing well and attacking down the flanks with Graham and Johnny to the fore but Baby, Finchy and Dean also surging forward. It was Dean’s overlap and chase that pressured Danny and Dessi to concede the corner that led to our deserved equaliser. Danny in the Avery goal could do nothing on this occasion but had earlier had made a fine double save firstly from Chris’ header. With Roy and Charlie working hard to ensure that Avery Hill couldn’t pass the ball out easily from the back the long ball attack continued and our defence were in control – all were good but Baby and Finchy were outstanding, with Mark backing up whenever needed.
An outstanding team performance with amusement provided by Johnny’s repeated shouts of ‘C**t!!’ when he made a mistake and by the subsequent discovery that he’s a psychologist.
Quote of the Day: Ah, I see you’ve found your level at last! Gaffer Graham to debutant Deano.
Avery Hill. The Changing Room pitch. 29.08.21.
1-1. Graham – with a little assistance from Avery Phil.
Team: Mark, Dean, Baby, Finchy, Scott, Chris, Smudge, Tonksy, Graham, Alex, Roy, Charlie, Johnny ( from Avery Hill- second half ).
In a Sentence: A game of two halves.
In a Word: Resilient.
The Goal: Graham had put in a decent corner or two and with 15 to go found his range from the changing room corner flag driving a curler that was heading in although there may have been the slightest of touches by defender Phil although obviously nothing to alter the ball’s unerring path.
The Game: Our back 3 were generally excellent both defensively and bringing and passing the ball out. Dean was far more assured than might have been expected given the previous week’s uncharitable assessments from Tom and Baby. He was caught in possession in the move that led to Avery Hill’s goal but others could have made more telling interventions after this. Rod’s cross took a deflection that allowed it to drift over Mark and give the unmarked Grant a tap in. Avery Hill enjoyed more possession but did not create any other really good chances.
At half time with guest Scott- having put in a valiant shift but struggling for fitness Avery Hill loaned us Johnny which was to prove beneficial. The substitution was made but after a few minutes it became clear we had 12 on the pitch, Scott subsequently leaving to run the line. Charlie- who had come on early after Alex again succumbed to injury- was now up front with Roy with Graham giving us more pace on the left to counter Avery Hill’s youth and speed.
A possible turning point was Steve H’s departure from the game. Without him Avery played much less measured football and centred their game on long balls and forward pace. They threatened little. Dangerous Dave held back until the second half added some shithousery to the mix fouling Graham and head butting Chris. Tonksy – as seems his way these days – grumbled his way through the game but combining with the more equable and consistent Smudge and Chris gave us control in the midfield. The Tamps were in control playing well and attacking down the flanks with Graham and Johnny to the fore but Baby, Finchy and Dean also surging forward. It was Dean’s overlap and chase that pressured Danny and Dessi to concede the corner that led to our deserved equaliser. Danny in the Avery goal could do nothing on this occasion but had earlier had made a fine double save firstly from Chris’ header. With Roy and Charlie working hard to ensure that Avery Hill couldn’t pass the ball out easily from the back the long ball attack continued and our defence were in control – all were good but Baby and Finchy were outstanding, with Mark backing up whenever needed.
An outstanding team performance with amusement provided by Johnny’s repeated shouts of ‘C**t!!’ when he made a mistake and by the subsequent discovery that he’s a psychologist.
Quote of the Day: Ah, I see you’ve found your level at last! Gaffer Graham to debutant Deano.
Old Tamponians Match Reports. 2021-22.
Charlton Rangers. The Quaggy. 22.08.21. (11 weeks after our last 2020-21 game.)
0-1.
Team: Mark, Matt, Baby, Lee, Taj, Tonksy, The Squire, Podge, Graham, Roy, Grant, Scholesy, Smudger. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Put your f****ng foot through it!
In a Word: Toothless.
The Game: Plenty of possession and good build up play- with Graham often heavily involved- until we got to the box where we failed to create much in the way of chances. Several players- notably Tonksy and Roy were gently encouraged by Podge to have a shot but we seemed not to want to trouble their keeper. At the other end our back 3 looked very solid both before and after the decisive goal essentially created by several Tamp mistakes.
Apart from the goal other first half highlights included Podge sinking to his knees in the oppo area in exasperation at the exact moment Tonksy passed the ball to him; Scholesy suffering an injury possibly by sprinting from water bottle to water bottle and Taj overlapping repeatedly and occasionally being passed the ball.
In the second half Baby rattled the bar with a fierce drive and Grant just failed to get on the end of a low cross flashed across to the far post. Charlton perhaps threatened the goal even less than we did although Mark almost gave a second diving over the ball and gratefully seeing it sneak past the post for a corner.
Players on both sides seemed to think it appropriate to swear at the ref although the Squire quickly apologised. The Charlton centre half excused his rants on the basis that he was a qualified ref. Hmm.Tonksy perhaps was justified in taking exception to Tim’s suggestion that he should move the ball on more quickly.
Coming off the pitch the Tamps felt that the result didn’t wholly reflect the match but we’re diverted by Steve R’s account of his post Summer Social works do clear up and a little later by large quantities of varied food.
Good bants in the bar with Tom giving further substance to Baby’s assessment of new recruit Dean’s ability whilst cat stopped play on the cricket pitch. The Tamps were up and running again and Smudger had started another season. Class is permanent etc.
Charlton Rangers. The Quaggy. 22.08.21. (11 weeks after our last 2020-21 game.)
0-1.
Team: Mark, Matt, Baby, Lee, Taj, Tonksy, The Squire, Podge, Graham, Roy, Grant, Scholesy, Smudger. ( Tim: Ref.)
In a Sentence: Put your f****ng foot through it!
In a Word: Toothless.
The Game: Plenty of possession and good build up play- with Graham often heavily involved- until we got to the box where we failed to create much in the way of chances. Several players- notably Tonksy and Roy were gently encouraged by Podge to have a shot but we seemed not to want to trouble their keeper. At the other end our back 3 looked very solid both before and after the decisive goal essentially created by several Tamp mistakes.
Apart from the goal other first half highlights included Podge sinking to his knees in the oppo area in exasperation at the exact moment Tonksy passed the ball to him; Scholesy suffering an injury possibly by sprinting from water bottle to water bottle and Taj overlapping repeatedly and occasionally being passed the ball.
In the second half Baby rattled the bar with a fierce drive and Grant just failed to get on the end of a low cross flashed across to the far post. Charlton perhaps threatened the goal even less than we did although Mark almost gave a second diving over the ball and gratefully seeing it sneak past the post for a corner.
Players on both sides seemed to think it appropriate to swear at the ref although the Squire quickly apologised. The Charlton centre half excused his rants on the basis that he was a qualified ref. Hmm.Tonksy perhaps was justified in taking exception to Tim’s suggestion that he should move the ball on more quickly.
Coming off the pitch the Tamps felt that the result didn’t wholly reflect the match but we’re diverted by Steve R’s account of his post Summer Social works do clear up and a little later by large quantities of varied food.
Good bants in the bar with Tom giving further substance to Baby’s assessment of new recruit Dean’s ability whilst cat stopped play on the cricket pitch. The Tamps were up and running again and Smudger had started another season. Class is permanent etc.
